The Paths We Take
by kaysuepacabra18
Summary: Ellana Lavellan found herself brought into a world much different from her own. How will her past guide her through this new experience? Lavellan/Solas and Lavellan/Cullen. Rated M for a few risque sections, but most of the story is just T. Not part of my TOA universe! Enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

Ellana Lavellan was a prisoner. She was not certain how, exactly, she had gotten herself into this position, but the shackles on her wrists and the cold, damp feeling to the air told her that she had somehow landed herself in a dungeon without having to open her eyes. She inconspicuously opened one eye a tiny bit, allowing the bright gray-green color of her iris to barely show. A dark stone floor was beneath her knees, and surrounding her were four large men, their blades pointed at her throat. Whatever she had done must have been terrible indeed. She was going to continue her study of the room when a sharp pain flashed in her hand. She cried out, both eyes shooting open as a green glow emitted from her palm. She hadn't felt pain like that since... _"_ _No."_ she told herself. " _Best not think of that."_

The door flew open at her cry, bringing in a pair of women who were as different as night and day. The first was a tall, broad-shouldered woman whose straight, imposing posture screamed warrior. She had very short black hair with a braided crown, stern hazel eyes, and a scar down her left cheek. Based on her facial expression, she wanted to hit Ellana for whatever she had done, or possibly kill her. The second woman had an equally stern expression, but she was no warrior. She was smaller, and fair-skinned, with red hair that fell to her chin. Pretty, for a shemlen. However, her icy blue eyes told Ellana that she was the harder of the two women.

"Tell me why we shouldn't kill you?" the first woman asked in an accent she couldn't place as they paced around her. Ellana glowered at her. She had done nothing!

Leliana watched as Cassandra glared down at the elven woman. Justinia, the Divine, was dead, and this woman must be to blame. The elf glared right back. Did she have no remorse? Leliana watched her thoughtfully from the corner. The prisoner looked young, little more than a child, really. She had large, steely, gray-green eyes and a small, straight nose. Her pretty, full lips were pulled back into a fierce grimace. Her _vallaslin_ was in the design of a tree, and was partially covered up by a curtain of raven hair that just brushed her shoulders. Hatred was etched clearly across her face as Cassandra questioned her.

"The Conclave is destroyed. Everyone who attended is dead. Except for you." Leliana shook her head slightly. Cassandra's voice had broken many times in her speech. She was letting her emotion get the best of her. She wrinkled her nose. If there had been a way to leave Cassandra out of it, Leliana would have questioned the prisoner herself.

"You think _I_ did this?" the elf raged in the soft, lilting accent that all Dalish elves had. Her expression was both furious and incredulous. It also gave Leliana pause. She knew when someone was lying, and, even though this woman was the only suspect, she began to doubt that she did this.

"Explain this!" Cassandra growled, grabbing the woman's wrist and gesturing to the mark that matched the giant hole in the sky. The elf continued to glare at Cassandra, even as the mark flashed and sparked. Solas had said that such reactions would be agonizingly painful to her, but she showed no sign of it.

"I can't." she said through gritted teeth. Cassandra looked about to explode.

"What do you mean you can't!? You're lying!" the woman roared, moving in to attack. Leliana quickly grabbed her wrist.

"We need her, Cassandra." she said calmly. Cassandra breathed for a moment before nodding. The elf turned her gray-green eyes on Leliana.

"Whatever you _think_ I did, I'm innocent." she spat. A small part of Leliana felt guilty for contributing to this woman's hatred of her people, but she needed to know what happened.

"Do you remember what happened? How this began?" she asked. The elf furrowed her brow.

"I remember...running. Things were chasing me, and then...a woman?" she muttered.

"A woman?" Leliana asked in surprise. Based on the stories she had heard, this elf was telling the truth.

"She reached out to me, but then..." she shook her head. They would get no more answers.

"Go to the forward camp, Leliana. I will take her to the rift." Cassandra said. Leliana looked at the elf one last time before turning out of the room. They would get to the bottom of this.

"Where are you taking me?" the elf snapped. Cassandra furrowed her brow and continued to lead her to the exit. The girl had proven to be difficult, but somehow, in her heart, Cassandra knew that she hadn't caused this. She shoved the doors open and was not surprised when the girl gaped up at the sky. She, herself couldn't bear to look at it, but she forced her eyes up to see the massive chasm in the air. It was as if the fabric of the very world had torn.

"We call it 'The Breach'. It's a massive rift into the world of demons that grows larger with each passing hour. It's not the only such rift, just the largest. All were caused by the explosion at the Conclave." she said, trying not to wince. Leliana had been correct: the minute she had laid eyes on the girl, her rage had taken over. Her grief at the loss of Justinia had enveloped her, and it had all been directed at the small elven girl. She had cooled down since then, but it was just another thing to add to her list of failures. She glanced back at the elf, who was still staring at the Breach.

"An explosion can do that?" she asked suddenly, seeming to forget, for the moment, that she hated humans.

"This one did. Unless we act, the Breach may grow until it swallows the world." she explained. At that moment, the Breach pulsed distantly, and the mark on the girl's hand lit up like a wildfire. She gasped in surprise as she fell to her knees. Cassandra was impressed. Solas had likened the pain of such a reaction to something worse than being burned alive, but this girl took it as if it were a mere inconvenience. There was a strength in her that was somehow inspiring. She crouched down beside her, ignoring the anger in her gray-green eyes. "Each time the Breach expands, your mark spreads, and it _is_ killing you. It may be the key to stopping this, but there isn't much time." The girl frowned.

"You say it _may_ be the key: to doing what?" she hissed.

"To closing the Breach. Whether that's possible is something we should discover shortly. It is our only chance, however. And yours." the Seeker replied. Dark eyebrows shot up in surprise.

"You still think I did this?" she scoffed. "To myself?" she added with a bitter laugh. Cassandra bit the inside of her cheek. She wanted to say no, but couldn't. Not yet.

"Not intentionally. Something clearly went wrong." she denied. The elf rolled her eyes.

"And if I'm _not_ responsible?" she asked drily.

"Someone is. And you are our only suspect. You wish to prove your innocence? This is the only way." Cassandra said firmly.

"So I don't really have a choice about this?" the girl spat. Cassandra frowned. She wasn't doing a very good job of clearing her name.

"None of us has a choice." she growled back as she heaved the girl to her feet. She found herself glancing down at the elf. How could someone so young get involved in something so disastrous? Why would her Keeper send her here to spy? Why not someone older, someone more seasoned?

Leliana had, of course, told Cassandra everything she had dug up on the girl. Her name was Ellana Lavellan, and she came as a representative of a Dalish clan that resided in the Free Marches. "Representative" of course meant "spy", but according to Leliana, she had not tried too hard to remain unseen. The Left Hand of the Divine had been impressed by the Keeper's initiative. Generally the Dalish had no interest in human politics, but this Keeper Deshanna was obviously keenly aware that the Conclave would have an effect on everyone, including her people. Ellana was an adult, based on the presence of her _vallaslin_ , but Cassandra could not imagine that she was more than eighteen years old. Beyond her place of origin and her purpose for being at the Conclave, they had found nothing more. Ellana was scowling at the people around them. To be fair, they were glaring at her as well.

"They have decided your guilt. They need it. The people of Haven mourn our Most Holy, Divine Justinia, head of the Chantry. The Conclave was hers. It was a chance for peace between mages and Templars. She brought their leaders together. Now they are dead." she explained. She looked down at Ellana again. "We lash out like the sky, but we must think beyond ourselves, as she did, until the Breach is sealed." there was a tiny flash of recognition in Ellana's eyes before the hate replaced it. Cassandra drew a small knife and unbound her wrists. "There will be a trial. I can promise no more. Come, it is not far." she added.

"Where are you taking me?" Ellana asked again. They walked out of the gates of Haven and turned toward the mountain.

"Your mark must be tested on something smaller than the Breach." she replied before trudging up the mountain. Hopefully, Solas' plan for the girl would work out. They couldn't afford it not to.


	2. Chapter 2

_"_ _Use the mark!" the strange elf cried, grabbing her wrist and thrusting it toward the gaping hole in the air before them. With a strange sucking sensation, the rift closed, and the demons stopped coming._

 _"What did you do?" Ellana asked. He smiled at her, and against her better judgment, the expression drew her in. His sky-blue eyes pulled on her soul like a strong tide in the ocean. She wanted to know this man._

 _"I did nothing. The credit is yours." he replied. "_ _I, am Solas."_

She tossed and turned, the memories of the last few days filling her dreams.

 _She looked up at the Breach, and the massive rift just below it, and wondered how she was ever supposed to manage closing that thing, considering how much energy it took just to seal a small one._

 _"Opening the rift will likely attract attention from the other side." Solas yelled. Cassandra huffed._

 _"That means demons! Stand ready!" she ordered as Ellana raised her mark to the closed rift. It tore open and a pride demon immediately appeared. She gritted her teeth, wondering why she had allowed Keeper Deshanna to send her away._

She groaned softly, nearly awakening, but still stuck in the pull of the Fade.

 _"Do it!" Cassandra yelled. She fought the urge to snap at the shem. She would do it because she wanted to, not because some mad chantry woman told her to. She raised her hand once more, and felt the now familiar tugging sensation. Once, when she was just a girl, her clan had voyaged to a land near the Waking Sea. While playing in the water, a strange, tentacled creature had latched onto her leg, using odd suction cups to take hold of her. The beast had been difficult to remove, as it fought hard to stay attached to her. The sensation in her palm was a lot like that, on a larger scale. She gave her hand a good jerk, as though tugging on a rope, and the rift closed. Ellana heard cheering as she fell to the ground and everything faded to black._

She sat up with a start, wondering where such dreams could have come from. She rubbed her eyes, and gasped as the mark on her hand flared. She stared at it. Not a dream then. Memories. Ellana shook her head. The Breach, and everything associated with it, had been real, and not a figment of her imagination. Pity. She heard a gasp by the door and she leapt to her feet, magic flaring in her palms as she readied herself to attack.

It was an elf, a flat-ear, entering the small cabin where she was staying. Ellana lowered her hands just as the woman dropped the box she had been carrying and dropped to the floor. At first, she thought she was just trying to hide, but then she realized that the flat-eared woman was bowing. To her.

"Stop that." she said immediately.

"I-I didn't know you were awake, I swear!" she squeaked. Ellana wrinkled her nose. So this is what became of an elf who was not part of a clan. A sad creature, really. "I beg your forgiveness and your blessing. I am but a humble servant." she added. Ellana disgustedly dragged the woman to her feet. All this groveling was going to make her vomit. Elves should not behave in such a manner.

"What is going on?" she asked.

"You are back in Haven, milady. You saved us. The Breach stopped growing, just like the mark on your hand! It's all anyone has talked about for the last three days!" the servant exclaimed, a flash of pride and excitement in her pale eyes. Ellana blinked, surprised at the sudden fire in the woman's demeanor. As quickly as it came, it was gone when the servant realized that they were making eye contact. She slumped slightly and turned her head so that she was not looking her in the eyes. A shame. She had thought maybe there was something to save inside that empty shell of a flat-ear. She shook her head. Flat-ears were like _da'len_. They were taught nothing of their heritage. It wasn't really their fault.

"Is the danger over?" she asked through gritted teeth, trying to be patient with someone who, she realized, did not know any better.

"The Breach is still in the sky, but that's what they say!" she said cheerfully, backing away. "I'm certain lady Cassandra would want to know you've awakened. She said 'At once'." Ellana frowned. She had no desire to deal with the woman again.

"Where is she?" she drawled.

"In the chantry. 'At once' she said!" the woman cried, sprinting out of the room. Ellana walked outside and, to her surprise, saw a group of Haven's citizens waiting for her. Apprehension gripped her as she wondered if they were there to attack, but then they began to applaud her. She scowled at them and darted away, not wanting the attention.

"Bloody shemlen. Always bloody insane." she muttered to herself.

"Says the elf who is talking to herself." a wry voice said from nearby. She turned her head and saw that dwarf, Varric.

"Funny." she commented, continuing on her way.

"You know, you seem determined to make us not like you. Or maybe to hate us, I can't really tell which. I won't give up though. I am equally determined to win you over." he called after her. She gritted her teeth. He was already doing a decent job of winning her over. She would never tell him that she had read all his books. Varric Tethras was famous even among the Dalish. He was one of her favorite authors.

She finally reached the chantry and, to her dismay, the doors were shut. She frowned at them, giving them a test shove. They didn't budge. They were very large doors, and she was not a large person. She didn't hear footsteps approaching behind her as she tried to figure out how to get in.

"Are you going in?" a voice, smooth as honey, asked. She turned around like a whirlwind, surprise on her face. She had seen the man once before. He had been leading the army up at the temple near the Breach. He was quite tall, even among shemlen. He towered over her in a way that could have been menacing, but he seemed about as menacing as a child, somehow. He had tight, curly blonde hair that he kept running a gloved hand through as if he were nervous. His eyes were a warm brown, and he had a small scar through the right side of his upper lip that peeked through a thin layer of scruffy facial hair. He was smiling at her. She blinked. Shems didn't smile at her...Why was he looking at her like that? She scowled at him, but his smile stayed in place. Usually her fierceness was enough to drive a smile away.

"Uh..no? Yes. No." she said, stomping away. She heard him chuckle as she strode off, and she was sure her face was reddening. "Grow up, Ellana. You're blushing like a child." she muttered. She watched him open the door, and hurriedly slipped in before they closed again. The man was nowhere in sight, to her relief, and she marched toward the sounds of arguing. She opened the door, and surprise painted the faces of everyone in the room.

"Chain her! I want her prepared for travel to the capitol for trial!" a man with black hair and beady eyes shouted. She remembered him: Chancellor Roderick. A fancy title for an uppity scumbag. She growled at him, baring her teeth, reaching for a staff that she did not have. She had forgotten that her weapons had been confiscated. It did not matter, she didn't need a staff to do magic, it just helped. Lightning sprang to her fingers as her gaze darted between the guards.

"Disregard that. And leave us." Cassandra said to the two guards Roderick had been addressing. They followed her order and bowed to Ellana as they left. She was shocked enough that the lightning stopped dancing across the length of her arms. The Seeker had wanted her dead just days before, and now she came to her defense? It was all very confusing. She put on her best scowl and crossed her arms, waiting.

"You walk a dangerous line, Seeker." Roderick spat. Cassandra approached him.

"We may have taken care of the Breach for now, but that does not mean it is safe. I will not ignore it." she growled.

"Am I honestly still a suspect?" Ellana drawled tiredly.

"You absolutely are." Roderick said, just as Cassandra and Leliana said, "No."

"No, she is not." Cassandra continued calmly.

"Someone was behind the explosion at the Conclave. Someone Most Holy did not expect. Perhaps they died with the others, or have allies who yet live." Leliana said, shooting the Chancellor a meaningful glare. His eyes widened, and Ellana fought the urge to snort.

" _I_ am a suspect?" he exclaimed.

"You! And many others." Leliana confirmed. This was going quite well for her.

"But not the prisoner!" the man asked in shock.

"I heard the voices in the temple. The Divine called to her for help." Cassandra assured him. Ellana had nearly forgotten about that part. She had heard the voices as well, but she had no memory of them.

"So her survival? That thing on her hand? All a coincidence?" he cried.

"Providence. The Maker sent her to us in our darkest hour." Cassandra argued. Ellana did snort this time, drawing everyone's eyes to her.

"You really think _your_ Maker would send someone like me?" she asked sarcastically. Cassandra nodded without hesitation, seemingly unaware that Ellana was mocking her. Perhaps she really was as dense as she looked.

"The Maker sends who he wills. It is not for me to say." she replied. Ellana frowned, the mockery falling from her tone.

"Even if that means a Dalish elf is his chosen?" she asked incredulously. Cassandra shrugged.

"Humans are not the only people with an interest in the fate of the world." she said simply. Ellana opened her mouth, and closed it again, uncertain of what she would say. She didn't like the thought of being a pawn of a shemlen god. Her own pantheon was troublesome enough.

"The Breach remains, and your mark is our only hope of closing it." Leliana said, clearly seeing Ellana's discomfort.

"This is not for you to decide." Roderick snapped. Cassandra slammed a massive book on the table before him. Ellana stepped forward to read the cover, and Roderick laughed. "As if you can read it, savage." he murmured, almost too quietly for them to hear. Her eyes narrowed to dangerous slits as she snarled at him, using her hand to sign a lewd gesture that he would not understand. Many of the hunters in her clan used a sort of sign-language to communicate while on the hunt. Naturally they had created some vulgar phrases as well. The shemlen women were glowering at him too.

"You know what this is, Chancellor?" the Nevarran woman drawled. "A writ from the Divine, granting us the authority to act. As of this moment, I declare the Inquisition reborn. We will close the Breach, we will find those responsible, and we will restore order. With or without your approval." she said, poking the Chancellor in the chest with an armored finger. He frowned at her, and Ellana's eyes widened.

The Inquisition? She had read about the Inquisition long ago, when she was still very young. Keeper Deshanna wanted her people to know about shemlen history as well as their own. She always told her that being learned would help you get out of sticky situations much more often than being ignorant would. Ellana knew more about human history than most shems. _"Not 'shems', Ellana. Humans. People."_ Keeper Deshanna would say. She shook her head. After what they had done to her, what they had done to...no... they would forever be shemlen. Her attention was brought back to the present as Roderick shoved past her out of the room. She really wanted to zap him, or perhaps light the tail of his coat on fire.

"This is the Divine's directive. Rebuild the Inquisition of old. Find those who will stand against the chaos. We aren't ready. We have no leader. No numbers. And now, no Chantry support." Leliana said quietly.

"But we have no choice. We must act now with you at our side, Ellana." Cassandra said, finally getting to the true meaning of this meeting. Ellana felt her hackles raise.

"And if I refuse?" she asked, expecting them to chain her on the spot. She did not appreciate feeling like a caged wolf.

"You can go if you wish." Leliana promised. She was shocked.

"You should know that while some believe you chosen, others still think you guilty. The Inquisition can only protect you if you are with us." Cassandra added. The phrase should have been threatening, but there was no maliciousness in her tone.

"We can also help you." the red-head added.

"It will not be easy if you stay, but you cannot pretend this has not changed you." the Seeker finished, a pleading note in her voice. Ellana opened her mouth to refuse, realizing she was quite literally backed into a corner.

 _"_ _You must help them,_ emma lath _."_ a voice said in her mind. She started. She hadn't heard that voice in nearly eight years. She turned away from the two women. Hopefully they would think she was deliberating. In a sense, she was.

"I will not." she whispered to herself. She squeezed her eyes shut and _he_ was there, watching her with his laughing blue eyes as he always had. She could practically feel his strong hands resting on her shoulders.

 _"You would let innocent people die,_ ma vhenan _? That is not the Ellana I know."_ he said. She felt tears rolling down her cheeks.

"She died with you." she breathed. His voice laughed, and she choked on a sob at the sound. His absence was a wound that would never heal. It ached to be reminded of him. It ached more to forget.

 _"She lives still,_ vhenan _. Help them."_ he requested. She sighed. She had never been able to refuse him.

"For you, Mahanon." she decided. His voice vanished from her mind, and the sudden emptiness was agonizing. She straightened and rubbed the tears from her cheeks, turning to the waiting women. They gave no sign that she had just been weeping or having a conversation with herself. Instead they waited expectantly.

"If you're truly trying to restore order..." she said, voice cracking slightly.

"That is the plan." Leliana jumped in.

"Help us fix this before it's too late." Cassandra said, reaching out a hand. Ellana stared at it for a long time and shook her head. She did not like to be touched. Cassandra shrugged and smiled anyway. Ellana wondered what she was getting herself into.


	3. Chapter 3

She was sitting on a rock outside of Haven, processing the meeting that she was just a part of. Leliana and Cassandra had introduced her to Josephine, an Antivan woman who was to be their ambassador, and Cullen, the tall shemlen who kept looking at her in that infuriating manner. She huffed at the thought. They had spent their time discussing the next step, whether they should seek the aid of the mages or the Templars, and how to do such a thing. Personally, she had no desire to walk into a stronghold full of Templars. They did not seem to care for Dalish mages. Her new advisors had also revealed that she was being called "the Herald of Andraste". Cullen had found it particularly amusing.

"Herald of Andraste. Pah." she spat.

"It's quite the title, isn't it?" a voice asked. She turned quickly. How were so many people sneaking up on her? Solas was leaning against a tree with a small smile. She was obviously losing her skills if a flat-ear and a shemlen could sneak up behind her without her hearing them. Well, he wasn't _really_ a flat-ear. But he wasn't Dalish either. None of it made any sense to her. He walked closer to her, and she stayed seated on the rock, stiffening as she felt him approach. She didn't like it when people got too close. "The chosen of Andraste, a blessed hero to save us all." he quipped. She arched an eyebrow at him.

"Am I riding in on a shining steed?" she asked drily. Solas' lips quirked slightly, but he did not smile.

"I would have suggested a griffon, but sadly, they are all extinct. Joke as you will, posturing is necessary." he pointed out. She stared at him, studying his sky-blue eyes that seemed to hold endless amounts of information and wisdom. Yet, somehow, he seemed young. He turned from her gaze and looked out over the frozen lake. "I've journeyed deep into the Fade in ancient ruins and battlefields to see the dreams of lost civilizations. I've watched as hosts of spirits clash to reenact the bloody past in ancient wars both famous and forgotten. Every great war has its heroes. I'm just curious what kind you'll be." he admitted. She frowned and ignored his line of questioning.

"Ruins and battlefields?" she asked, diverting him. He smiled slightly at her avoidance of his thoughts.

"Any building strong enough to withstand the rigors of time has a history. Every battlefield is steeped in death. Both attract spirits. They press against the veil, weakening the barrier between our worlds. When I dream in such places, I go deep into the Fade. I can find memories no other living being has seen." he explained. She nodded, genuinely interested. She didn't want to seem too interested, however.

"You fall asleep in the middle of ancient ruins? Isn't that dangerous?" she asked, sarcasm biting in her tone. He grinned.

"I do set wards. And if you leave food out for the giant spiders, they are generally content to live and let live." he joked. She raised an eyebrow, thinking that this jovial manner was not typical of him.

"I've never heard of anyone going that far into the Fade. That's extraordinary, really." she admitted.

"Thank you. It's not a common field of study, for obvious reasons. Not so flashy as throwing fire or lightning." he replied. She smiled softly, finding that she enjoyed his dry sense of humor. "The thrill of finding remnants of a thousand year old dream? I would not trade it for anything." he looked at her again, a strange expression on his face. It was similar to how Cullen had been looking at her. She turned away, feeling embarrassed for whatever reason. "I will stay then. At least until the Breach is closed." he said, breaking their silence.

"Was that in doubt?" she asked in surprise. He looked at her somewhat sternly.

"I am an apostate surrounded by Chantry forces in the middle of the mage rebellion. Cassandra has been accommodating, but you understand my caution." he pointed out. A fierce need to protect him rose within her.

"You came here to help, Solas. I won't let them use that against you." she said defensively. A wry look crossed his face.

"How would you stop them?" he asked quietly.

"However I had to." the words tumbled from her mouth without her consent. She was as surprised as he seemed. Mahanon had always said she was fiercely protective of her people. He wasn't wrong.

"Thank you." he answered, genuinely grateful. "For now, let us hope either the mages or Templars have the power to seal the Breach." She nodded in agreement. The pair waited in silence for a long time, watching the sun fall lower in the sky. Nearly an hour must have passed before anyone spoke again.

"I'd be interested in hearing your opinions on elven culture." she said to fill the emptiness. An irritated look appeared on his face.

"I thought you'd be more interested in sharing _your_ opinions on elven culture. You are Dalish, are you not?" he said coolly. She gaped at him. Why was he suddenly being so hostile?

"What's your problem with the Dalish? Allergic to halla?" she asked in an equally bitter tone. He huffed.

"They are children acting out stories misheard and repeated wrongly a thousand times." he replied. She was on her feet before he could finish.

"Oh, but you know the truth, right?" she spat. Something flashed in his eyes, but it was gone before she could determine what it had been.

"While they pass on stories, mangling the details, I walk the Fade. I have seen things they have not." he answered. She took a deep breath and squeezed her eyes shut for a moment. Being patient, tranquil, and willing to listen were the signs of a good Keeper. Sometimes she wondered why Deshanna had kept her as First, since she was anything but.

" _Ir abelas, hahren._ If the Dalish have done you a disservice, I would make that right." she said after she had cooled down. "What course would you set for them that is better than what they know now?" He sighed and shook his head.

"You are right, of course. The fault is mine, for expecting what the Dalish could never truly accomplish." he backed down. She could see that his words were not meant to be insulting. " _Ir abelas, da'len._ If I can offer any understanding, you have but to ask." She wrinkled her nose at his use of " _da'len_ ". He tilted his head in confusion. "Have I offended?" he asked. She shrugged.

"How old do you all think I am?" she wondered. He frowned as he studied her.

"I would think that you just received your _vallaslin_. Perhaps sixteen? No more than eighteen." he admitted. She closed her eyes for a moment before roaring with laughter. Tears of mirth came to her eyes as she clutched her stomach. He looked bemused. "Nineteen?" he asked. She snorted and wiped her eyes. It was unusual for her to laugh at all, much less in front of strangers.

"I have attended three _Arlathven_. I have lived for thirty years, Solas. I have lost..." she explained, trailing off at the end.

"Lost what, may I ask?" he wondered. She shook her head, pain building. She couldn't allow herself to feel the ache.

"Too much." she said, not realizing that she had placed her hand on her stomach. "I should go." she added, heading back to Haven without another word.

* * *

He watched her walk away. She was much older than he had thought. That might explain the pain that resided in her eyes. He found himself wondering what she had lost. A child, based on the unconscious motion she had made with her hand. If she had lost a child, did she still have a husband?

"What does it matter to you, fool?" he asked himself. "You can give her nothing but pain." He sighed, staring after her. She _was_ beautiful in a way that he was not used to. Her hardness and ferocity gave her a harsh beauty that clashed with her youthful features. It was both jarring and intriguing. Her severity gave her allure. He found himself drawn to her, like a moth to the flame. Only, in this instance, he was the more dangerous of the two. No. He would not encourage her down that path. It would only end poorly.

* * *

Ellana rode one of the giant horses given to them by Master Dennett a few days prior. She shot glances at Solas, who had been oddly quiet since their exchange back in Haven. She, along with Solas, Cassandra, and Varric, had made their way to the Hinterlands to speak with the Ferelden horse-master and make the roads safer for travelers two weeks ago. They had already sealed a number of rifts, and taken care of the apostates and Templars who were attacking innocents. All they had left to do was return to Haven and try to speak with the mages or Templars. For now, anyway.

"We have known each other for weeks now, and not once have you asked me about Hawke." Varric said, pretending to be offended. She tried not to smile, but his charisma was impossible to ignore. She had found herself slowly warming to the cheeky dwarf, and even to Cassandra. She had a...difficult time with shemlen, but the Seeker was similar to her in ways she never would have guessed. It would be a long time before she trusted the warrior woman, however.

"Tell me about Hawke, Varric." she said drily. He grinned.

"What do you want to know?" he asked. She snorted.

"I've already read your book. So I suppose the only thing I don't know is what happened to all of her friends." she pointed out after a bit of thought. He nodded eagerly.

"Merrill decided to look after the elves left homeless by the fighting. She's done a pretty good job of keeping them away from the mages and Templars so far. I guess she has plenty of practice avoiding stupid human battles with her old Dalish clan." he said, giving her a wink. She rolled her eyes. She had tried to explain that they did not all know each other just because they were Dalish, but he no longer believed her once she told him that she actually _had_ met Merrill before.

"Continue please." she said drily.

"Fenris has kept himself busy, hunting down the Tevinter slavers who came south to prey on the refugees. I'm not sure exactly where he is at the moment. You can usually follow the trail of corpses though. Isabela went back to the raiders. She's calling herself an admiral now. I don't know if she's actually in charge or just has a really big hat. Might be the same thing honestly." he continued with a chuckle. She could see that he really enjoyed talking about his old friends. "Sebastian went back to Starkhaven to be a prince. I'm sure he's boring all sorts of people there. Aveline is still guard captain. I'm pretty sure Kirkwall would fall into the sea if she quit her job. And...well, you know all about what happened with Blondie, I'm sure." he finished somewhat sadly. From that point, the ride was silent. Nobody wanted to bring up their dark times.

When they reached the crossroads, Mother Giselle was there, tending to the wounded. She had decided to wait until Ellana herself returned to Haven before she went to meet with Leliana and the others. Ellana sighed and wandered over to help with the healing. As difficult as it was for her to help humans, she had been raised to help the wounded, whether friend or foe. It wasn't an instinct she could just ignore. She knelt beside the man Giselle was speaking to, and he gasped and shook his head as he saw the magic spring into her palms.

"No, keep your magic away from me, knife-ear!" he spat. Her eyes widened in surprise before narrowing in anger. She opened her mouth to verbally assault him, but Mother Giselle raised a hand.

"Such language is unbecoming." she said simply. "You should not let your racism prevent you from receiving proper healing." The man shook his head.

"Don't let her touch me, mother...her magic..." he groaned, obviously in pain. Ellana was content to let him agonize a bit longer for his comments.

"Turned to noble purpose, her magic is surely no more evil than your blade." Giselle commented. Ellana had to grudgingly admit that this chantry mother seemed to be a decent person.

"But..." he whined.

"Hush, dear boy. Allow her to ease your suffering." she crooned. He nodded and leaned back against his cot. Ellana stepped forward and hovered her hands over his body, her magic seeking the wounds to stitch them back together. He grunted uncomfortably. Part of her wanted to belittle him for it, but she knew exactly how painful it could be for your body to stitch itself up at such a rapid pace. After she finished, he crossed his arms over his chest, a gesture that, from the shems, was a sign of respect.

"I am sorry for what I called you. Thank you." he said. She tightened her jaw, but nodded and walked away without saying a word. She went down the line, healing as many as she could before exhaustion swept over her. When she couldn't summon the energy to help any longer, she went to sit down on the end of the small dock that stretched over the pond nearby. She heard footsteps this time, but she was too tired to turn and look. She knew it was Solas. His footfalls had become familiar to her.

"Tell me about elves from before our time." she said without lifting her head. She could practically feel his surprise before he sat down beside her. She flinched, and her heart jumped when she felt their legs touch. It had been a long time since she sat this close to a man. She blinked, surprised at the thought. She was more surprised at the fact that she didn't want to pull away.

"The Dalish strive to remember Halamshiral, but Halamshiral was merely a fumbling attempt to recreate a forgotten land." he explained.

"Arlathan." she replied. He nodded.

"Elvhenan was the empire, and Arlathan its greatest city. A place of magic and beauty, lost to time." he reminisced, as if he himself had lived there.

"What else do you know of Arlathan?" she wondered. She gazed at him out of the corner of her eye as he thought. His eyes were closed as if he were remembering a personal experience rather than a secondhand tale from a spirit.

"We hear stories of them living in trees and imagine wooden ramps or Dalish aravels. Imagine instead spires of crystal twining through the branches, palaces floating among the clouds. Imagine beings who lived forever. For whom magic was as natural as breathing. That is what was lost." he sighed. She picked up on the fact that this line of questioning was saddening him.

"Are all Dalish elves like my clan?" she asked, changing the direction of conversation. He shook his head.

"No. Your clan was unique in having enough interest in human affairs to send you to spy upon the Divine's meeting. As your clans have been separate for so long, they have all changed, adapting to the lands in which they live. Some are no more than bandits. Others trade freely with humans, and some have disappeared entirely into the forests." he told her. It was nothing that she did not already know, but she had wondered if he would have a different perspective.

"What can you tell me about elves living in shemlen cities?" she continued. He frowned slightly.

"The culture in alienages or among the slaves of Tevinter is like any of the impoverished and powerless. They cling to memories of a better past and practice a few rituals to distinguish themselves from humans." he was barely finished talking before she asked another.

"Is elven magic different from other magic?" she inquired. He probably shouldn't have left her an open invitation to ask questions. Keeper Deshanna had always said she would never be satisfied until she knew everything there was to know.

"No and yes. Magic is magic, just as water is water, but it can be used in different ways. Dalish magic is more practical, not needing chantry approval. Although, they still frown on blood magic. Superstition. Much of it is more subtle, a legacy from when elves were immortal." he finished. She was sitting up now, alert and eager for more.

"The legends of elven immortality...did they use magic to increase their lifespan?" she questioned.

"No. It was simply part of being elven. The subtle beauty of their magic was the effect, not the cause, of their nature. Some spells would take years to cast. Echoes would linger for centuries, harmonizing with new magic in an unending symphony." his eyes were closed again, and there was pain on his face. She looked at him, concerned, and he opened his eyes. "It must have been beautiful." She raised an eyebrow. There was something he was not saying, but she did not know what it was.

"You said that the censure against blood magic was a superstition..." she finally said to break the silence.

"I did. It's fortunate Cassandra is not within earshot." he joked, nodding to where the Seeker was chatting with some soldiers nearby. "Most modern cultures forbid blood magic. Publicly, even Tevinter disapproves of it. But as I said, magic is magic. It matters only in how it's used." She nodded in agreement. Her views on blood magic were unpopular, but she believed in them.

"To be honest, I don't see it as different from any other magic. It's a means to an end." she admitted. He smiled in surprise.

"Indeed! The problem is, that under the Chantry blood magic is forbidden, so only criminals practice it. While in Tevinter, magisters compete with each other, instead of keeping their volatile friends in check. They always succeed through power, so they have never had a chance to learn another way." he agreed, somewhat irritated by the facts he had spoken. She nodded slowly. For the moment, she was out of questions. Her eyes began to droop, and it was more and more difficult to sit up straight. Solas did not seem to notice, but instead continued talking away without the prompts of her inquiries. His voice was a constant, steady rhythm, and it did not take long for her to fall asleep against his shoulder.

* * *

The sudden weight against his shoulder caused him to stop speaking. His breath caught when he looked down and saw her soft, silky black hair spilling over his shoulder. Without thinking, he reached up and touched it, closing his eyes as he breathed in the scent of her.

"What are you doing?" he muttered to himself. He thought that perhaps he should get up, but he did not want to wake her. Furtively he glanced about, hoping no one was watching. He did not see anyone, as they had all appeared to have turned in for the night. Relieved, he relaxed a little, enjoying the feel of her warm body pressed against his.

He had tried to avoid her after their discussion in Haven. He had lasted two weeks, and that was only because most of it had been spent traveling and left little time for conversation. Watching her heal the wounded had only drawn him to her more. He knew his will, and he knew that it would not be strong enough to resist her magnetism if he continued to stay close to her. Solas looked down on her once more. She was so peaceful, so beautiful in the moonlight.

"No." he murmured. He gently turned and picked her up without waking her. She shifted slightly in his arms, but stayed asleep. Quietly he carried her to her tent, laying her down and covering her with a blanket. He stared at her for a moment longer before impulsively leaning down and kissing her forehead. "Never again will you feel the touch of my lips, I promise you. It's for your own good." he said, mostly to himself.


	4. Chapter 4

She hated waiting. Her advisors had decided to deliberate at a volume that she could not stand for more than an hour, so Ellana had decided to leave the meeting without a word. She would give her input when they stopped yelling at each other and not a moment before. For now, she had tucked herself into an alcove in the chantry, preferring the solitude to the ogling stares of the townspeople. She heard heavy footsteps coming up the stairs, and she arched an eyebrow.

"Are you done shouting at each other, Cullen? I'm not coming back until it's calmed down." she pointed out before the approaching man was in sight. He poked his head around the corner with a grin.

"How did you know it was me?" he asked, sitting in the window sill across from her. She snorted.

"You aren't exactly quiet." she replied, gesturing to his armor. He shrugged.

"I may not be quiet, but I'm quite safe from an attack." he retorted. She bit her cheek to try not to smile. It did not work. The man was oddly endearing, for a shem. He gave her pause.

"Well how are you ever going to sneak up on someone like a proper Dalish if you're wearing all that clangy armor?" she continued. He grinned at her again.

"I'll leave that to you, unless you wanted to teach me?" he asked. She shivered slightly for a reason she couldn't identify. He was looking at her in that way again. The feeling growing inside her was strange but somewhat familiar. She hated herself for not hating it.

"Why do you have to do that?" she asked, suddenly defensive. He frowned, concern painted on his features.

"Do what?" he asked, genuinely confused. She waved her hands, gesturing to all of him.

"That. Why do you look at me like that?" she asked. His eyebrows raised, and a blush came to his cheeks.

"I...I didn't know...I'm sorry." he stammered. Her own cheeks felt warm. Probably the anger that she had been feeling. He straightened in his seat. "I must admit, you intrigue me, Ellana." he finally said.

"How?" she snapped.

"Well, you're beautiful, for one thing. And wise. And there is a strength in you that I have never seen before. It is...endearing." he admitted. She was stuck on 'beautiful'. Endearing? No! He was a shemlen! His people were the reason that Mahanon... No. Cullen didn't do anything to Mahanon. None of that was Cullen's fault. She could feel her breath speeding up. Her heart was beating out of her chest.

"We should probably get back to the meeting." she said, leaping to her feet and sprinting down the stairs.

"Ellana!" he called. She ignored him, choosing to flee from whatever feelings were forming within her heart.

* * *

Cullen let her go. He was confused about a lot of things himself, her being at the forefront. She had seemed so surprised when he told her she was beautiful. Had she never seen a mirror? True, her features were often stern and somewhat angry. She was beautiful even then, but he thought she was at her most beautiful when she smiled and laughed. Since they met, he had made it his goal to make her smile. He thought it was a worthy goal, one that he would be willing to strive toward for the rest of his life. He shook his head.

"What are you doing?" he muttered to himself. "She's not interested in you anyway. She only has eyes for Solas." No matter what he told himself, he couldn't get her out of his head. The few weeks that she had been in the Hinterlands, he had been thinking of her, trying to puzzle her out. She had been just shy of hostile when they first met. She harbored a hatred of his people that he could not explain. Her eyes were filled with spite for anyone who was a stranger. For an ally, the animosity was lessened, but they still received distrust. He spent the weeks without her wondering why she hated humans so much.

With a sigh, he stood and finally followed her down the stairs. They had a meeting to continue, and he would do his best not to look at her, if that was what she wanted. He entered the room and looked away from where she stood, feeling a blush rise to his cheeks just by her presence. He kept his eyes on the war table as he pretended to study...well...anything on the war table. The others chatted over him, but he barely paid attention. He was too focused on making sure he did not look at Ellana.

"Having the Herald address the clerics is not such a terrible idea." Josephine said. His head snapped up in surprise and anger.

"You can't be serious." he blurted. Josephine looked at him like _he_ was the crazy one.

"Mother Giselle isn't wrong; at the moment, the Chantry's only strength is that they are united in opinion." she recited. Josephine always seemed to speak as if she were reading something off a page. He glanced at the writing board she held in her hands. Maybe she was. He rubbed his hand on the back of his neck: a nervous habit he had never quite broken.

"So we should ignore the danger to the Herald?" Leliana asked. He nodded in agreement, but knew that she was probably just playing demon's advocate. The spymaster tended to agree with Josephine on most things, whether they were practical or not.

"Let's ask her." Josephine said. Cullen felt his cheeks warming again.

 _"Don't look at her. Don't look at her. Look anywhere else. Anywhere. Not the ceiling, you idiot, look like a normal person."_ he chanted in his mind. He wasn't looking at her, but he practically felt her dismissive shrug.

"What can they do? It's just talk." she drawled in her lilting accent that sounded like she was always on the verge of breaking into song. Even when she was irritated her voice was like music.

"Don't underestimate the power of their words. An angry mob will do you in just as quickly as a blade." Leliana cautioned. Perhaps she wasn't simply playing demon's advocate.

"I will go with her." Cassandra decided, breaking her silence. "Mother Giselle said she could provide us names? Use them." Leliana frowned.

"But why? This is nothing but a-"

"What choice do we have, Leliana? Right now we can't approach anyone for help with the Breach." Cassandra interrupted. Leliana was frowning, but she nodded. Cassandra turned to him, and he gave her his full attention. That was much easier than trying to find a random spot on the wall to fixate on. "Use what influence we have to call the clerics together. Once they are ready, we will see this through." He gave her a slight bow before they all dispersed. He made it outside and began to head over to where their small army trained. Suddenly he got the feeling that he wasn't alone. He heard nothing, but felt that Ellana was following him. He slowed to a stop and turned around with an expectant look on his face. Her eyes widened in surprise before she steeled herself.

"I'm sorry." she said simply. He frowned.

"For what?" he asked, pretending that nothing had happened. She wrinkled her nose. It was adorable.

"I shouldn't have reacted the way I did, Cullen. It just...startled me, I suppose." she admitted. He nodded.

"I'm sorry, too. I was, perhaps, too forward. I overstepped." he said. Her large, gray-green eyes locked onto his.

"You didn't." she breathed. His own eyes widened slightly. He did not know how he should take that.

"Well...let's go back to normal then, shall we?" he asked. She nodded. A thoughtful expression appeared on her face before being replaced by a curious smile. He couldn't help but smile back.

"Did you hear me coming up behind you?" she asked. He thought about making a joke about her losing her skill, but he did not want to offend.

"No. I just...felt you." he said, deciding to tell the truth. A light blush colored her cheeks, and his heart melted. She was perfection.

"Thank you." she stammered awkwardly before turning around. He watched her walk away, and wished he hadn't. At that moment, Solas happened to cross her path. The elf did not look at her, but she looked at him. Cullen's heart fell. Ellana would never look at him the way that she just looked at Solas. He turned away, unable to bear it any longer. As he marched away, he realized that it was probably for the best. He didn't have anything to offer her. No, he had nothing more than his heart to give, and it wasn't something she wanted. He would remain her friend, and when Solas hurt her, as he inevitably would, in his opinion, he would be there.


	5. Chapter 5

Val Royeaux. It was like nothing she had ever seen before, considering that she had never truly been to a city. People bustled about everywhere. Ellana hadn't even known that so many people could be in one place. A sudden fear gripped her as she realized how overwhelming it all was. She had read of great cities, shemlen and elven alike, but she had never known how...congested they could be. Varric squeezed in beside her, stemming the flow of people, and it let her calm down a bit. She smiled gratefully. He understood her, somehow. Of all the people who she had encountered, he was one she fully trusted, which was surprising considering he was a self-admitted compulsive liar.

It allowed her to actually appreciate the buildings around her. They were not nearly as beautiful as the forests she had grown up in, but they were certainly a sight to behold. Massive statues of golden winged lions sat atop every column, and various plants lined the streets. Every building was made of a pristine white stone, and every rooftop was a vibrant color. It was beautiful in a new way.

"The Herald gaped as she took in the views of the breathtaking city, unaware that all eyes were on her." Varric narrated. Ellana snapped her jaw shut, cheeks reddening slightly. She _had_ been gawking like a _da'len_. She glowered at people around her, startling a few of them so much that they crashed into each other in their haste to get away from her.

"The city still mourns." Cassandra said as she appeared beside her. As more people backed away from Ellana, Varric chuckled.

"Just a guess, Seeker, but I think they all know who we are." he pointed out. Cassandra rolled her eyes.

"Your skills of observation never fail to impress me, Varric." she replied drily. Someone wearing an Inquisition symbol pushed through the throng.

"My lady Herald." she said. Ellana tried not to frown at the title.

"You're one of Leliana's people. What have you found?" Cassandra asked. She always jumped right to the point. It was a quality Ellana admired.

"The chantry mothers await you, but so do a great many Templars." the agent admitted.

"There are Templars here?" Cassandra inquired bluntly. Ellana's heart raced. The woman hesitated.

"People seem to think the Templars will protect them from...from the Inquisition. They're gathering on the other side of the market. I think that's where the Templars intend to meet you." she admitted. Ellana wrinkled her nose. Shemlen as a whole were difficult for her to deal with, but Templars were the worst of the lot. Cassandra sensed her hesitation.

"Only one thing to do, then." the Seeker said, striding forth. Ellana steeled herself and followed, ignoring the flashes of memory that ripped at her chest. They moved through the crowd, pausing when they saw a Chantry mother speaking atop a platform. A pair of Templars stood guard on either side of her.

"Good people of Val Royeaux, hear me!" she cried. "Together, we mourn our Divine, her naive and beautiful heart silenced by treachery! You wonder what will become of her murderer, but wonder no more!" her gaze turned to Ellana, but she wasn't focusing on her. "Behold the so-called Herald of Andraste! Claiming to rise where our beloved fell! We say this is a false prophet! The Maker would send no heathen Dalish in our time of need." Ellana couldn't take her eyes off the Templars. She was practically wheezing.

 _The silvery armor reflected the light, blinding her as she tried to run. She had to keep them safe. She couldn't let it end like this. A blurred shape crashed into the bright armor, knocking them off her course._

"Herald." Cassandra muttered.

 _"No!" she cried, turning back in a fury._

 _"Run,_ emma lath! _" Mahanon cried._

"Ellana." Varric said, gently elbowing her in the side. She blinked. She wasn't there. She was not in that forest. Everyone was looking at her. She wondered how long she had been staring into nothingness. Even the Templars gave her quizzical looks.

"We came here in peace to talk, and this is what you do?" she finally worked up the courage to speak. She glanced at Solas, who nodded slightly. "I implore you; let us sit down together to deal with the real threat!" The crowd was silent as she finished.

"It's true! The Inquisition seeks to end this madness before it's too late." Cassandra added. The crowd began to murmur. Whispers of opinions and ideas floated in the space around them.

"It is already too late!" the mother gestured with a smirk. Ellana followed the direction she had pointed, and her heart felt frozen. Nearly twenty Templars approached, fully armed and ready to fight. She couldn't breathe. Mahanon.

"The Templars have returned to the Chantry! They will face this 'Inquisition', and the people will be safe once more!" the mother shouted. Oh, Mahanon.

One of the approaching Templars struck the mother in the back of the head, and she fell to the ground with a grunt. Ellana's hands were trembling. She could feel lightning springing to her fingers. She couldn't control it. Sweat began to bead on her forehead as her breathing sped up. One or two Templars began looking around at the sudden appearance of magic. Mahanon. Suddenly, a hand took hers and squeezed it. She looked down at the hand and followed it up to see Solas looking at her with concern. She saw one of the original Templars rushing to the side of the fallen mother, but he was stopped by a man who appeared to be their leader.

"Still yourself, she is beneath us." he said. Ellana was calmed by Solas' touch.

"What is the meaning of this?" she asked, letting her fear go and her anger take over.

"Her claim to 'authority' is an insult. Much like your own." the man said. His face was pale and doughy, his complexion pockmarked. His beady eyes rolled when they landed on her. Cassandra seemed to be oblivious to the fact that this man had evil rolling off him.

"Lord Seeker Lucius, it's imperative that we speak with-" she began.

"You will not address me." he interrupted pompously.

"Lord Seeker?" Cassandra asked in surprise. The man turned on her, his arrogant features twisting in a sneer.

"Creating a heretical movement, raising up a puppet as Andraste's prophet! You should be ashamed!" he yelled. He looked around at the surrounding crowd. "You should all be ashamed! The Templars failed no one when they left the Chantry to purge the mages!" purge the mages? This man was mad. "You are the ones who have failed! You, who'd leash our righteous swords with doubt and fear! If you came to appeal to the Chantry, you are too late. The only destiny here that demands respect is mine." he crowed. Ellana glanced down and realized she was still holding Solas' hand. She blushed slightly as she let it go and glowered at the Lord Seeker.

"What we truly need is an alliance to seal the Breach. Or have you forgotten that giant hole in the sky just waiting to swallow us up?" she spat.

"Oh the Breach is indeed a threat. But you certainly have no power to do anything about it." the man growled, his voice gravelly. He sounded like a man possessed. The Templar from earlier, the one who had tried to help the fallen mother, approached them.

"But Lord Seeker...what if she really was sent by the Maker? What if-" he began.

"You are called to a higher purpose. Do not question." an officer ordered. The young man scowled at the ground.

" _I_ will make the Templar order a power that stands alone against the void. _We_ deserve recognition! Independence!" Lucius said before looking around him. "Templars! Val Royeaux is unworthy of our protection. We march!" he ordered before the Templars filed out of the square.

"Charming fellow, isn't he?" Varric quipped. Ellana glanced down at him.

"Has Lord Seeker Lucius gone mad?" Cassandra asked. She was clearly torn up about the whole thing.

"Do you know him very well?" Ellana asked. Cassandra frowned.

"He took over the Seekers of truth two years ago, after Seeker Lambert's death. He was always a decent man, never given to ambition or grandstanding. This is very bizarre." she admitted. Ellana felt her head filling with questions. She wanted answers about what was happening with the Templar order, but her heart froze just thinking about it. Could she do it? Could she walk into a stronghold full of those men without being paralyzed by her past?

"Do you think he can be reasoned with?" she found herself saying. Cassandra looked sad.

"I hope so. If not him, there are surely others in the order who don't feel as he does." she pointed out. Ellana nodded. That young Templar was certainly one of them. Whether or not he had any authority was to be determined. "Either way, we should return to Haven and inform the others." the Seeker added. As they turned to walk away, an arrow flew through the sky and embedded itself in the ground before her feet. She dropped into a crouch, staff in hand, preparing for an attack as she searched for the shooter. However, none came.

"Does that arrow have a piece of paper on it?" Varric asked. She relaxed slightly and yanked it out of the ground. Reading the message, she frowned.

"'People say you're special. I want to help. And I can bring everyone.'" she read. "'There's a baddie in Val Royeaux. I hear he wants to hurt you. Have a search for the red things in the market, the docks, and 'round the cafe, and maybe you'll meet him first. Bring swords. -Friends of Red Jenny.'" she looked around at the others, who said nothing. "By the Dread Wolf, what in the bloody void does that even mean?" she asked. Varric gaped at her.

"Such language, Herald. People will talk." he teased. She rolled her eyes at him.

"I believe that man wants to talk to you." Solas said, pointing at a man who was hovering nearby, shooting her somewhat anxious looks. She groaned and beckoned him over.

"You are the Herald of Andraste, are you not? I have an invitation for you." he said, handing it to her hurriedly before he ran away.

"I've been invited to...a salon? What is that?" she asked as she read this new note. Cassandra took it from her and scanned it quickly.

"It's a sort of fancy party, Peaches." Varric commented. She blinked at him.

"Peaches?" she asked. He nodded.

"Yes. A delicious fruit? You've heard of it, I'm sure?" he replied.

"I know what peaches are, Varric. Why did you call me Peaches?" she inquired.

"It's your nickname now. It's adorable. It suits you." he answered. She opened her mouth and promptly closed it. It was odd, but fighting it would only make things worse. At least he wasn't calling her "Muffin". She shuddered at the thought.

"Let's go find these 'red' things." she decided. They weren't too difficult to find, actually. Most of them were "hidden" with half of their corners sticking out. When put together they showed a map of where and when to find the "baddie".

"But, that is tonight." Cassandra pointed out.

"And?" she asked.

"You have to go to the salon tonight. It is very important. Madame de Fer would be a powerful ally!" the Seeker explained. Ellana thought that she just secretly wanted to go to a fancy party.

"We can do both. I'll just be...what is it called? Fashionably late?" she suggested. Cassandra groaned, and Ellana laughed. Sometimes it was fun to irritate the woman.


	6. Chapter 6

Ellana did _not_ get along with Sera or Vivienne. The entire ride back to Haven, Vivienne complained about not having a coach, and Sera argued with Solas about being "too elfy", whatever that meant. She squeezed her eyes shut. They were giving her a migraine. Cheers arose as they rode into Haven. Ellana hadn't missed that. She preferred to be anonymous, but apparently that was no longer an option for her. Everyone in Haven knew exactly who she was, and what she had set out to do. It was a lot of pressure. She loathed the fact that her glares no longer scared them away. It was as if she had transformed from a wolf to a bunny rabbit in their eyes. She missed the days when they were afraid of her. It was easier to drive them off when they were already scared. Josephine greeted them outside the chantry.

"It's good you've returned. We heard of your encounter." she said, opening the doors for them. Ellana wrinkled her nose. It wasn't fair that little Josephine could open the damn doors while she, herself, still wasn't able to.

"You heard?" Cassandra drawled.

"My agents in the city sent word ahead, of course." Leliana said, approaching with Cullen. The latter smiled at her, and she smiled back, ignoring the fluttering feeling in her stomach.

"It's a shame the Templars have abandoned their senses as well as the Capital." Cullen remarked.

"We had to do something, and now we have an opportunity." she pointed out, walking past them to head to the "war room".

"Yes, and now we have the opening we need to approach the Templars and mages." Josephine said. Ellana blinked at her. How had they heard of the encounter with Fiona already? The woman had approached them as they left Val Royeaux, extending an invitation to meet with them. It had been very strange.

"Do we? Lord Seeker Lucius is not the man I remember." Cassandra reminded them.

"True. He has taken the order...somewhere, but to do what? My reports have been...odd." Leliana commented.

"We must look into it. I'm certain not everyone in the Order will support him." Cullen said. Ellana wondered why he always chose the Templars' side. She shuddered at the thought of approaching them. She couldn't even look at them from a distance without panicking.

"Or, the Herald could simply go to meet the mages in Redcliffe, instead." Josephine pointed out. Cullen rounded on her.

"You think the mage rebellion is more united? It could be ten times worse." he argued.

"Here we go." she muttered to herself. "You need to decide soon." she said to the others.

"We shouldn't discount Redcliffe. The mages may be worth the risk." Josephine replied.

"They are powerful, ambassador, but more desperate than you realize." Cassandra cautioned.

"You think the invitation could be some kind of trap." Ellana asked. Cassandra nodded.

"If some among the rebel mages were responsible for what happened at the Conclave..." she answered carefully.

"The same could be said about the Templars." Josephine reminded her.

"True enough. Right now, I'm not certain we have enough influence to approach the Order safely." Cullen admitted.

"Then the Inquisition needs agents in more places. That's something you can help with." Cassandra decided, gesturing to Ellana. She nodded. Recruiting was basically what she had been doing all this time, anyhow.

"In the meantime, we should consider other options." Josephine said as she left to her office. The rest followed her lead and disbanded, leaving Leliana and Ellana alone.

"There is one other matter." the Orlesian said softly. Ellana frowned.

"Go on." she urged. The bard nodded.

"Several months ago, the Grey Wardens of Ferelden vanished. I sent word to those in Orlais, but they have also disappeared. Ordinarily I wouldn't even consider the idea they're involved in all this, but the timing is...curious." she revealed. Ellana frowned.

"You're telling _me_ this because?" she wondered.

"The others have disregarded my suspicion, but I cannot ignore it. Two days ago, my agents in the Hinterlands heard news of a Grey Warden by the name of Blackwall. If you have the opportunity, please seek him out. Perhaps he can put my mind at ease." the woman said.

"And if he can't?" the elf queried.

"Then there may be more going on than we thought." Leliana admitted before leaving her alone in the hall. Ellana growled softly. There was too much to do, and she had to be the one to do it! It was frustrating, to say the least. She turned to head out. She had been hoping to rest up in Haven for a bit, but apparently she would have to leave right away.

"Excuse me, ma'am?" a man said as she left the chantry. She turned to look at him, and was surprised. Not a man. A woman, but a woman who looked and acted like a man. Interesting.

"Can I help you?" Ellana drawled. The strange man bowed.

"My name is Cremisius Aclassi, and I come on behalf of The Bull's Chargers. We're a mercenary group looking to work for the Inquisition. If you're interested, come meet our leader, the Iron Bull, at the Storm Coast." he explained quickly. She blinked at him.

"Err...all right then." she replied. He bowed again and left her. "We need all the help we can get." she said in a horrible interpretation of Cassandra's accent. "First we will head up to the coast to meet this 'Iron Bull', and then we can drop down into the Hinterlands. Good." she mumbled to herself. They had a lot of work to do.

* * *

Iron Bull, or rather, The Iron Bull, had not failed to impress. She had been a bit surprised when he revealed that he was a Qunari spy, but she figured that she had already picked up a bunch of shady companions that she didn't trust, so why not add another? Their brief mission to the Storm Coast and gained them two allies in the Chargers, and also a strange cult called the Blades of Hessarian. Now they had returned to the Hinterlands in order to seek out Blackwall and meet with the mages. Ellana had decided that they would meet with both groups and decide what they had to offer.

"Blackwall? Warden Blackwall?" she asked as they spotted a grizzled man up ahead. He turned from his recruits with surprise. Anger suddenly replaced it.

"You're not—-How do you know my name?" he interrogated. "Who sent-" he began before raising his shield with a grunt. An arrow struck it, and Ellana immediately whipped out her staff. She had not expected to be under attack, but the men leaping out from the bushes told her that was what was happening. The young men Blackwall had been instructing leaped into action, and so did her own followers. She had brought Bull, Varric, and Cassandra with her. She would have brought Solas along, but she hadn't been able to find him. The bandits fell quickly with their help, and soon Blackwall was squatting down beside the corpse of one of them.

"Sorry bastards." he grunted. He stood and looked at the three young men. "Good work, conscripts, even if this shouldn't have happened. They could've...well, thieves are made, not born. Take back what they stole. Go back to your families. You saved yourselves." the men nodded to him as they left. He watched them for a time before turning to Ellana with a frown. "You're no farmer. Why do you know my name? Who are you?" he asked. She scowled at his rudeness. It was not appreciated. Varric cleared his throat, aware that she was preparing to yell at the man. She took a deep breath and nodded. They had a job to do, and screaming at the person they needed information from would get them nowhere.

"I know your name because I'm an agent of the Inquisition. I'm investigating whether the disappearance of the Wardens has anything to do with the murder of the Divine." she replied in a rush. Blackwall blinked and began to pace about.

"Maker's balls, the Wardens and the Divine? That can't...no, you're asking, so you don't really know." he calmed down slightly. "First off, I didn't know they disappeared. But we do that, right? No more Blight, job done, Wardens are the first thing forgotten. But one thing I'll tell you: No Warden killed the Divine. Our purpose _isn't_ political." he promised.

"So where are the rest of you?" she drawled. He shrugged.

"I haven't seen any Wardens for months. I travel alone, recruiting. Not much interest because the Archdemon is a decade dead, and no need to conscript because there's no Blight coming. Treaties give Wardens the right to take what we need. Who we need. These idiots forced this fight, so I 'conscripted' their victims. They had to do what I said, so I told them to stand. Next time, they won't need me. Grey Wardens can inspire, make you better than you think you are." he explained. She nodded and began to walk away.

"Well, thank you, Warden Blackwall, but you've given me nothing." she called over her shoulder.

"Inquisition...agent? Did you say? Hold a moment." he called after her. She paused and turned to see him approaching. He took a deep breath before speaking. "The Divine is dead, and the sky is torn. Events like these...thinking we're absent is as bad as thinking we're involved. If you're trying to put things right, maybe you need a Warden. Maybe you need me." he offered. She arched a dark eyebrow at him.

"What can one Warden do?" she asked drily. He smiled slightly.

"Save the fucking world, if pressed." he pointed out. She shrugged. He wasn't wrong. The Hero of Ferelden had done exactly that. He hadn't been completely alone, but no one ever was.

"Warden Blackwall, the Inquisition accepts your offer." she decided, shaking his hand in that odd human way. Without another word, she turned and began to head in the general direction of Redcliffe.

"Where, exactly, are we going?" Blackwall asked as he mounted his horse.

"We are going to meet the mages." she said, heeling her mount forward. She had an odd feeling about it all, and she wasn't looking forward to the meeting. "Maybe we shouldn't go after all." she muttered.

* * *

"By the Dread Wolf, I really need to start trusting my instincts!" she shouted as she hit a demon with a fireball. The strange man who had been waiting for them in the Redcliffe chantry laughed loudly.

"But then you would have never found me! A disaster, to be sure!" he cried. She groaned and thrust her palm toward the rift. As always, it latched on and she gave it a hard tug. The rift sealed with a pop. She glowered at the stranger, blaming him for everything that had happened.

She had arrived at the tavern in Redcliffe only to discover that not only had Fiona had no memory of their meeting, but she had sold them all into indentured servitude to a Tevinter magister. That disastrous encounter had ended with the magisters son becoming "ill" and leading his father away after leaving her a message. That was how she had ended up here. The tanned man smiled at her with perfect white teeth.

"Fascinating." he said in wonder. "How does that work exactly?" She opened her mouth, ready to give the explanation Solas had given her, but instead, the man laughed. "You don't even know, do you? You just wiggle your fingers and boom! Rift closes." She frowned at him.

"I _do_ know some things, thank you very much. Now who in the bloody void are you?" she growled through gritted teeth. He laughed joyously.

"Ooh, you're saucy, I like you. Dorian of House Pavus, more recently of Minrathous. How do you do?" he replied. She rolled her eyes.

"I don't want to deal with another magister, I'm leaving." she snapped, heading for the doors.

"Wait, stop. I'm a mage from Tevinter, but I am not a member of the Magisterium. I know Southerners use the term interchangeably, but that only makes you sound like barbarians." he pointed out. She hesitated. He may not be a magister, but he _was_ from Tevinter. That was just as bad, in her opinion. The decline of her people had started with Tevinter. That was something the Dalish would never forget.

"Why do you want to help us?" she asked. Dorian sighed.

"Alexius was my mentor, once. However, he has betrayed everything that we ever stood for. Look, you must know there is danger, even without the note. Let's start with Alexius claiming the allegiance of the mages out from under you. As if by magic, yes? To reach Redcliffe before the Inquisition, Alexius distorted time itself." he revealed. Ellana nodded, now caught up in the excitement of new information.

"He arranged it so he could get here just after Justinia died." she discovered. He grinned at her again.

"You catch on quick." he admired. She nodded once. Flattery would not get him far. "The rifts you closed here? You saw how it twisted time around itself? Sped some things up and slowed others down. Soon there will be more like it, and they will spread further and further away from Redcliffe." he explained. She opened her mouth to speak, but he wasn't finished. "The magic Alexius is using is wildly unstable, and it's unraveling the world." She believed him entirely, surprising as that was, but her pride wouldn't allow her to step aside and acquiesce.

"I'd like a little more proof than 'magical time control, go with it.'" she responded in her driest tone. He groaned.

"I know what I'm talking about. I helped develop this magic. When I was still his apprentice, it was pure theory. Alexius could never get it to work. What I don't understand is why he's doing it. Ripping time to shreds just to gain a few hundred lackeys?" Dorian scoffed. Ellana heard approaching footsteps and turned toward the shadows just as Felix emerged from them.

"He didn't do it for them." Felix pointed out. Dorian beamed at him.

"Took you long enough! Is he getting suspicious?" he asked, smile fading. Felix shook his head.

"No, but I shouldn't have played the illness card. I thought he'd be fussing over me all day. My father's joined a cult. Tevinter supremacists. They call themselves 'Venatori'. And I can tell you one thing: Whatever he's done for them, he's done it to get to you." he revealed. Ellana rolled her eyes.

"Alexius is your father, why are you working against him?" she asked, not trusting either of them.

"For the same reason Dorian works against him. I love my father, and I love my country. But this? Cults? Time magic? What he's doing now is madness. For his own sake, you have to stop him." he answered sadly.

"It would also be nice if he didn't rip a hole in time. There's already a hole in the sky." Dorian piped up. She nodded slowly.

"Do you have any suggestions?" she asked. Both of the men thought for a moment before answering, which told her that they did not really know what to do.

"You know you're his target. Expecting the trap is the first step to turning it to your advantage. I can't stay in Redcliffe. Alexius doesn't know I'm here, and I want to keep it that way, for now. But whenever you're ready to deal with him, I want to be there. I'll be in touch." Dorian said before turning to leave. She sighed.

"Go to Haven. You will be safe there until I decide what to do." she said. He shook his head.

"I would prefer to stay close so I can observe the situation." he murmured. "Oh, and Felix? Try not to get yourself killed." he added before disappearing.

"There are worse things than dying, Dorian." Felix replied cryptically before leaving himself. Ellana furrowed her brow. She did not think she could help the mages. She had no respect for, or desire to help, someone who sold themselves to Tevinter for "protection". And yet, not aiding the mages meant approaching the Templars. A prospect so daunting that her heart sped up just thinking about it.

"Let's get back to Haven." she said. She had difficult choices to make.


	7. Chapter 7

Ellana stood across from her advisors at the war table, studying two points on the map. One was indicative of the mages in Redcliffe, while the other showed the Templars. She shuddered. Neither option was a good one, in her opinion. Her advisors were, yet again, arguing.

"We don't have the manpower to take the castle. Either we find another way in, or give up this nonsense and go and get the Templars." Cullen pointed out. She felt inclined to agree. There was no way for them to get into the Keep without sacrificing herself, and if she did that, there would be no chance of closing the Breach.

"Redcliffe is in the hands of a magister. This cannot be allowed to stand." Cassandra pointed out. Ellana was confused. It had been clear to her that Cassandra wanted to request aid from the Templars, not the mages. Yet now she defended the other side. It didn't make any sense.

"The letter from Alexius asked for the Herald of Andraste by name. It's an obvious trap!" Josephine exclaimed.

"How kind of him. What does he say about me?" Ellana drawled.

"He's so complimentary, that we're certain he wants to kill you." Leliana said politely.

"Not this again." Josephine groaned.

"Redcliffe castle is one of the most defensible fortresses in Ferelden. It has repelled thousands of assaults." Cullen said with a glower for Leliana. "If you go in there, you'll die. I won't allow it." he said to Ellana. The ferocity in his tone was a surprise. His features were pained at the thought, and she had to look away.

"And if we don't even try to meet Alexius, we lose the mages, and leave a hostile foreign power on our doorstep." Leliana pointed out.

"Even if we could assault the keep, it would be for naught. An 'Orlesian' Inquisition's army marching into Ferelden would provoke a war. Our hands are tied." Josephine argued. It wasn't often that she and Leliana disagreed, but this time the dissension was obvious.

"The magister-" Cassandra began.

"Has outplayed us." Cullen interrupted. Ellana closed her eyes, hearing the sounds of the Templar's loud armor crashing through her ears, feeling the pine needles stabbing into her bare feet as she sprinted away from them. Mahanon's cry of pain resounded in her ears as the memories resurfaced. She couldn't do it. But she had to.

"I don't know that we can help them." she whispered. It felt as if her words were forcibly torn from her body, and they were so quiet she wasn't even sure if she had really said them. Surprisingly, everyone heard her.

"The Templars must help us close the Breach. The Order was founded to fight magic." Cullen agreed. Realizing that the mages were out of the question, Leliana sighed.

"We must first convince the Lord Seeker to bring the Templars out of exile." she added as if the words were being dragged out of her.

"We've received word from a knight recruit. They gather at Therinfall Redoubt." Cullen revealed. The lack of surprise from Leliana told her that the spymaster had already figured this out.

"It has been vacant for decades, why go there?" Cassandra asked in surprise.

"We must approach the Lord Seeker there to get anywhere. We can ask him then." Josephine reminded them. Ellana had a hard time breathing. This was really happening. She was...she was siding with Templars.

"If...if we present a plan to seal the Breach, the Templars may ally with us." she choked out. Cullen gave her an odd look, but she ignored it. She had to try to gather the strength to do this.

"First we must prove ourselves a more attractive prospect." Leliana murmured.

"If it's status the Lord Seeker seeks, the Inquisition will approach him after allying with the noblest houses in Orlais." Josephine said cheerfully. She would get to play her games after all.

"They'll come with us to Therinfall and demand the Templars help close the Breach." Leliana added. It seemed that she, too, liked this trickery.

"You believe that will work?" Cullen asked, seeming as confused as Ellana was.

"Even the Lord Seeker would find it difficult to ignore so many nobles on his doorstep." Cassandra pointed out. A look of surprise crossed her face as if she just realized what she had said.

"Yes. Especially when led by the Herald of Andraste." Leliana finished. Ellana still did not understand why that would work.

"Is it my good looks you need, or my winning smile?" she asked through gritted teeth. Cullen snorted with laughter on the other side of the table, and she glowered at him. He raised his hands in a placating gesture. Leliana smiled, herself.

"Rumors you were saved from the Fade by Andraste have grown legion among the Templars." the red-head explained.

"We've done our part to encourage them." Josephine added.

"A Herald with a few companions may be dismissed. Easily set aside. That same Herald returning with noble support will be reconsidered, as will the power of the Inquisition." the bard finished.

"Perhaps this is why Andraste saved you? To lead her Templars to fight against the Breach?" Josephine suggested. She rolled her eyes. No matter how many times she had argued that Andraste had _not_ saved her, the fools believed otherwise.

"Perhaps also to convince the Lord Seeker to abandon the mania that has seized him." Cassandra added. Cullen scoffed.

"With respect, after his appearance in Val Royeaux, hang what the Lord Seeker thinks." he grunted. Ellana agreed with him, and Leliana was also nodding.

"We do not need the Lord Seeker, we only need his Templars. With or without his approval. The Breach will not wait for our differences to settle." she said.

"How long do we have, Josephine?" Ellana asked. The ambassador smiled.

"I started forming alliances weeks ago and told them to prepare for such an eventuality. They will be arriving at Therinfall Redoubt in three days." she revealed. Ellana's heart felt like it stopped for a moment, and she had to tell herself to breathe. Any sound that followed was a roaring in her ears. She nodded before hurriedly leaving the council. She flung the doors open with a blast of wind, and sprinted out of Haven. When she reached the woods just outside the village, she bent over, panting. Wild sobs escaped her, and she had to clutch her body with her hands to hold herself together. She threw back her head and wailed as her magic lost control, throwing up a windstorm that picked up the snow around her and turned it into a blizzard. She cried until she could no longer move, then dropped to the ground, the snow settling around her like a blanket.

"Ellana?" a quiet voice said nearby. Weakly, she raised her head to see Cullen hesitantly approaching.

"What?" she croaked. "Why are you here?" He looked concerned, and she wondered how much of that he had seen.

"If you had seen your face as you left the room, you would have followed too." he admitted. She wiped at her eyes.

"Oh." she whispered as she dragged herself to a seated position. He sat down on the ground beside her. He did not touch her. He knew how she felt about that and he always respected those feelings. But he was close enough for her to feel his heat radiating from his body.

"Will you tell me what is the matter?" he asked softly. She squeezed her eyes shut, and readied herself to say no.

"I don't know if I can to this." she breathed instead. She felt a hesitant touch on her shoulder, and for once she did not flinch. It was surprisingly comforting.

"Why not?" he asked. She opened her eyes and looked at him. His eyes were full of genuine care for her. He only wanted to help. He had no idea that he was knocking down a wall that had been built up for nearly a decade. Everything began to pour out of her. It was a story that had never crossed her lips. Even Deshanna did not know every detail.

"Eight years ago my clan was camped near the outskirts of Kirkwall. We knew there was another clan there, and we did not want to disturb them, so we stayed away from Sundermount. I...I was scouting with my...my bond mate. My husband. Mahanon. We were about a month away from becoming parents. I remember hearing something that irritated me. It wasn't natural. It was too loud to be in the forest. It took me too long to realize that it was armor. Mahanon, he was not beside me, but up ahead when they came. Templars. They leaped through the trees and did not hesitate to attack me when they saw my staff. There were too many for me to fight, so I ran. I was screaming for Mahanon to run, to leave me behind, to get the clan. But he didn't. I heard a crashing sound behind me and when I turned around, there he was. He had tackled them to let me get away. I...I watched them stab him in the stomach as he yelled at me to run. I was so angry that I nearly burned down half the forest, then, trying to save him. But I was too late. They hit me with a few arrows in the chest and when I fell they left me for dead. I remember waiting for them to leave before I crawled over to him. He was still breathing, so I healed him, but...he...he had lost too much blood. I screamed for him to live, to fight. He died in my arms. My own wounds, along with the trauma of losing my _emma lath_ caused me to lose my child as well." she said in a rush.

"Ellana-" Cullen began.

"Templars took everything from me, Cullen. I cannot say that we made the right decision. I cannot see a Templar without panicking or being hit by agonizing memories. I hate them. And yet, I must ally myself with them? What cruel twist of fate is this?" she spat. He frowned.

"You don't know, do you?" he asked suddenly.

"I don't know what?" she wondered. He looked at her.

"I was a Templar." he revealed. Her eyes widened and she was on her feet instantly, recoiling from his gentle touch.

"No." she breathed. He nodded.

"Since I was thirteen. I started in Ferelden but then was transferred to Kirkwall after the Blight." he admitted. His words were roaring in her ears. Was Cullen one of them? No! He would not hurt her. He did not kill Mahanon. He did not kill her child. But he was part of the organization that had taken everything from her.

"No." was all she could say as she backed away.

"I knew the criminals who did this to you. A small group of Meredith's lackeys that thought they were above the law because they wore the Templar symbol. I hanged them myself after finding that they were murdering the neighboring Dalish. Meredith wasn't happy about it, but at that point she wasn't so far gone as to have her Knight Captain killed." he admitted. She exhaled deeply when her back hit a tree. Cullen stood, but did not approach her. "Ellana." he said. She raised a hand.

"I...I need some time, Cullen. Just...just leave me alone. For a while. I...will come to you when I am ready." she croaked. He nodded and bowed slightly. His features were sad, but he looked patient.

"Of course." he said before turning to go.

"Cullen." she called. He turned and looked over his shoulder. "Don't...please don't tell anyone what I just told you." she asked softly. He nodded.

"I swear to you, I would never tell anyone." he promised. Her heart was relieved at his promise. She was surprised that she trusted him to keep it.

"Thank you." she said, allowing him to leave. She slid down the tree to sit on the ground once more. Somehow, telling someone what happened made it a little easier to breathe. She hadn't ever realized how heavy the weight on her chest had been. Her eyes closed and, for the first time in a while, she listened to the land around her. Strange. It seemed that the world had continued to turn and grow, even as she died a little more each day. The wind still blew, its mournful music still whistled through the trees. Animals still rustled about in the snow, living simpler lives than she ever had. She snorted to herself. They never had to worry about saving the world.

 _"I'm proud of you."_ a voice said in her mind. Hearing Mahanon's voice didn't shock her like it would have days before. Instead, she smiled as tears rolled down her cheeks.

"I haven't done anything, _ma vhenan_." she said softly. She opened her eyes and there he was, sitting before her in a cross-legged position. She knew it wasn't real, but it didn't stop her from dreaming. He ran a hand through his dark, red-brown hair as he smiled at her.

"You're letting go, _emma lath_. You're letting me go." he answered. She frowned and shook her head.

"I will never let you go, Mahanon." she replied fiercely. He laughed, and it was the most beautiful sound.

"You have to, my heart. Do not let what happened to me destroy your view of the world. Don't let it take the color out of everything." he said. She shook with sobs.

"When you...died...it was like all the light was gone from the world. Even the sun seemed dull." she admitted. Mahanon touched her, and even though she knew he wasn't really there, she felt it.

"I know that. _Ma vhenan_ , you must let go of the hate to bring the sun back." he murmured.

"The sun won't come back, forgiveness or no." she answered. He chuckled again.

"It could, if you let it." he hinted. She shook her head, realizing what he was saying.

"I cannot move on from you. I can't betray you like that." she argued. He wrinkled his nose.

"I want nothing but love for you. Let me go." he whispered. She swallowed hard.

"If I do that, you'll leave." she whimpered. He touched his forehead to hers.

"I will always be in your heart. I'll never truly leave you." he promised. She stared into his eyes, so blue they couldn't be matched even by the most perfect of sapphires.

"I won't see you again after this, will I?" she breathed. The tears were freely flowing down her face as he shook his head.

"I'll always be with you." he said, laying a hand over her heart. She closed her eyes as he pressed his lips to her forehead. "I will always love you, Ellana." The pressure against her forehead vanished, and she knew that she was alone. And yet, she did not feel it. She felt less alone than she had in years. Her eyes opened and she looked at the clearing around her. As the sunlight warmed her face, she looked up at it and smiled. Maybe she could get the sun back after all.


	8. Chapter 8

She looked down at the fortress in the valley with grim determination. Nobles from many houses in Orlais surrounded her, chatting anxiously and milling about. She had to try to breathe through her mouth due to the cloud of perfume that surrounded each one of them. Even doing that gave her a bitter taste on her tongue.

"Herald of Andraste!" one said as he pushed through the crowd to get to her. "Lord Esmeral Abernache. Honored to participate. It is not unlike the second dispersal of the reclaimed Dales." she gave him a blank stare. "Nothing? Divinity puts you above such things, I suppose. The Lord Seeker is willing to hear our petition about closing the Breach. A credit to our alliance with the Inquisition. Care to mark the moment? Ten Orlesian houses walk with you." she wanted to tell him to shove off. She had grown to care for her own little band of misfits, but "noble" shems were awful. However, she knew Josephine would throw a fit if she was rude. Strange that she didn't want to anger the woman.

"Of course. The Templars must see reason. We can't let the Breach endanger us any longer." she replied politely.

"Oh yes, ghastly looking thing. The Lord Seeker can't think we're ignoring it." he clapped, gesturing for her to follow. She did as he requested, hearing the footsteps of her companions trailing behind her. "Speaking of which, I don't suppose you'd divulge what finally got their attention? Rumor will if you won't." he requested. She frowned.

"What do you mean?" she asked. She genuinely did not understand the games these people played.

"The Lord Seeker won't meet us until he greets the Inquisition 'in person'. Quite a surprise after the spat in Val Royeaux." he explained.

"The Inquisition only asks the Lord Seeker help us close the Breach." she answered diplomatically.

"Then it's all been arranged by your ambassador. Let the diplomats work their magic if you trust them. Between you and I, the Chantry never took advantage of their Templars. Wiser heads should steer them." he commented. Ellana blinked and glanced back at her followers. They shrugged. At least they were as confused as she was. "Here we are! Therinfall Redoubt!" he exclaimed for wandering away.

"The Lord Seeker abandoned the White Spire to come here." Cassandra said drily.

"It appears they've sent someone to greet you." the nobleman pointed out. "Present well. Everyone is a little tense for my liking." he said before striding away. She followed him, even though she wasn't entirely sure what his game was. Her eyes widened in surprise when she realized that the Templar who was greeting them was the young man from before: the one who had questioned his superiors.

"I present Knight-Templar Ser Delrin Barris, second son of Bann Jevrin Barris of Ferelden." Lord Abernache's footman was announcing. "Ser Barris, may I be so honored as to present Lord Esmeral Abernache-" he began. However, Ser Barris was not listening. He had noticed Ellana approaching and immediately strode over to her, ignoring the Lord. She fought the urge to giggle at the man's expression.

"I'm the one who sent word to Cullen. He said the Inquisition works to close this Breach in the Veil. I didn't think you'd bring such...lofty company." Ser Barris said, giving her a slight bow.

"Barris? Moderate holdings, your family. And the second son?" Abernache scoffed. Ellana scowled at him. Barris frowned, but otherwise ignored him.

"This...promise of status has garnished attention from the Lord Seeker. Beyond sense. The sky burns with magic, but ignores all calls to action until your friends arrive." the Templar said irritably. Ellana frowned. How odd.

"Should a Seeker lead the Templars this way?" Ellana asked. Cassandra shook her head.

"In an emergency, if there is no other recourse, but his goal should be to restore them to order." the Seeker explained. Barris was glowering.

"He has taken command. Permanently." he spat.

"If he feels there is a holy mandate..." Cassandra suggested. Ser Barris gave his head a slight shake.

"That is what the Lord Seeker claims, and our commanders parrot him." he answered with a sigh. He stepped closer to Ellana, causing her to flinch, and lowered his voice slightly. "The Lord Seeker's actions make no sense. He promised to restore the Order's honor, then marched us here to wait? Templars should know their duty, even when held from it. Win over the Lord Seeker, and every able-bodied knight will help the Inquisition seal the Breach." he promised. She took a deep breath, feeling her anxiety about the Templars rising. After exhaling, she felt a little better.

"If you think we're right, abandon the Lord Seeker and help us." she suggested, wanting to skip past all the pleasantries.

"We can't abandon our orders. Not while the officers who survived the Conclave follow him." he admitted. "We've been asked to accept much, after that shameful display in Val Royeaux. Our truth changes on the hour."

"Don't keep your betters waiting, Barris. There's important work for those born to do it." Abernache snapped. Ellana wished she could light his pants on fire. Ser Barris lead them inside the keep after rolling his eyes.

"The Lord Seeker has a...request before you meet him." the Templar explained. She tried to focus on him, and not on the multitude of other fully armored Templars in the courtyard surrounding her. He was one of them, but so was Cullen. They were making her realize that not all Templars were monsters, some were kind. But that didn't mean she trusted this...Ser Barris. Cullen was the only Templar she could trust fully. It surprised her to realize that. Cullen and Varric were the only people around her that she trusted completely and without reservation. He gestured to a wall that held three flags. "These are the standards. An honored rite, centered on the people, the Maker, and the Order. The Lord Seeker asks that you perform the rite so that he may see in which order you honor them." he revealed. She frowned.

"What if I fail?" she wondered. He smiled slightly. He had kind eyes.

"Well, there's no correct answer. The ritual simply shows watchers who you are and what you value." he answered. She glanced back at her party members, who shrugged.

"We'd be honored, if that's what the Lord Seeker asks of the Inquisition." she agreed.

"Not the Inquisition." Barris said, turning to her. "The Lord Seeker changed everything to meet you. Not the Inquisition, _you_. By name." he whispered so that only she could hear.

"Why?" she inquired. He shrugged.

"I don't know. He's been fixated on you ever since your horde of nobles arrived." he divulged.

"The Lord Seeker makes us shuffle flags around? Refuse! Let's meet the man, already!" Abernache squawked. She scowled.

"We'll complete the ritual as the Lord Seeker requests." she decided, mainly because she wanted to ruffle the nobleman's feathers.

"When you've completed the rite, I'll take you to him." Ser Barris assured her. She walked over to the flags. The answer was clear to her. As she moved the flags, she could hear whispers filling the courtyard. She turned back and looked at Ser Barris. "Traditionally, a participant in the rite now explains their choices to those assembled." he announced.

"I responded in the way I felt was most appropriate." she answered simply.

"You put the Maker last? That will surely cause a debate. I wonder what the Lord Seeker will think of it?" Abernache grumbled. She shrugged and looked back at her choices. The people were at the top. They were the reason that she was doing all of this. Second, she had the Templars. She did not necessarily agree with their methods, but overall they had a worthy goal. The Maker, she had put last, simply because she did not believe in him. She was Dalish!

"I suppose finding that out is _your_ matter?" Barris asked drily. Abernache exploded.

"My intent is to deal with people who matter. You helmed louts are wasting the Inquisition's time, and _my_ time! Unacceptable!" he shouted. Barris sighed.

"The Lord Seeker awaits you both. Follow me." he muttered before leading them up the stairs. Abernache darted ahead of her as she slowly walked toward the door. He and Barris were in before she was halfway up the stairs. In a private room, a group of Templars waited for them, helmed and ready. Ellana squeezed her eyes shut and took a deep breath, willing herself not to panic. Abernache and Barris were having an argument, as shocking as that would seem. She made herself focus on that instead of the glistening armor around her.

"It's necessary, you know! You don't run a battlefield by committee." the noble spat. Barris looked stern.

"Without faith, you've no knights. You've...Knight-Captain?" he asked as a figure shuffled through a back door. The helmed man strode forward, and Ellana scowled. She was tiring of the run-around.

"You were expecting the Lord Seeker. He sent me to die for you." the Knight-Captain announced. Many Templars in the room shifted uncomfortably. Ser Barris was perplexed, if she was reading his face properly. She readied herself to reach for her magic. Something was wrong, here.

"Knight-Captain! Lord Esmeral Abernache, honored. It is not unlike the second dispersal of the reclaimed Dales. No doubt rank puts you above such things. A pity more people don't understand that." the noble idiot drawled. The Templar began to laugh, surprising everyone.

"This is the grand alliance the Inquisition offers?" he asked. Ellana scowled, still ready to loose a lightning bolt if necessary.

"Knight-Captain Denam, I am expected by the Lord Seeker. Where is he?" she asked, her irritation evident.

"Yes, let me also extend my hand to the gracious Lord Seeker, Knight-Captain?" Abernache requested. She wanted nothing more than for him to shut his pompous, spoiled mouth. Ellana tilted her head as she picked up noises coming from outside. Shouting was filling the courtyard. The sound put her on edge, and she started crouching down slightly. An attack would _not_ surprise her.

"The Lord Seeker had a plan, but the Herald ruined it by arriving with purpose. It sowed too much dissent." Denam taunted. Ser Barris panicked.

"Knight-Captain, I must know what's going on!" he requested urgently. Denam stared down at him with a quizzical expression.

"You were all supposed to be changed! Now we must purge the questioning knights!" he growled. Ser Barris backed away, stunned. Abernache snorted.

"For once, I agree with the-" he began, before an arrow struck him in the head. Ellana did not hesitate. No longer did she wait on the precipice of embracing her power, she released it and hit an attacking Templar square in the chest.

"The Elder One is coming! No one will leave Therinfall who is not stained red!" Denam exclaimed, as his Templars attacked the other Templars in the room. Men fell all around her, but eventually she pushed them back. She looked at Ser Barris, who was calmly wiping his blade on a corpse.

"Go to your brothers! Save who you can." she ordered. He nodded and ran off while she and her companions went in the opposite direction to find the Lord Seeker. The keep was in utter chaos. Everywhere around them Templar slaughtered Templar, and after a time she did not know who to root for any more. Blood stained the stones wherever she stepped as they tried to avoid getting into the thick of battle.

"PREPARE THEM! GUIDE THEM TO ME!" a loud, unearthly voice roared. Ellana looked around in shock.

"Was that the Lord Seeker?" she asked. Cassandra frowned at her.

"Where? I did not hear anything." she asked, seeming concerned for her well-being. Ellana waved her off.

"I WOULD KNOW YOU!" the voice yelled again. "SHOW ME WHAT YOU ARE!" Ellana looked around wildly, wondering where the voice was coming from. After killing a few more Templars, she finally saw him. The Lord Seeker stood before a massive doorway, facing away from them. Ellana and her companions hesitantly approached, wary of an attack or an ambush. He did nothing. His stillness worried her. She continued to approach, when suddenly he turned and lunged for her throat.

"At last!" he cried.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Hey guys, sorry I'm terrible at updating. Please take my peace offering of three chapters at once! Enjoy!**

* * *

She raised her hands to block his attack, but there was no one there. In fact, she had no idea where "there" was. Overgrown columns and arches surrounded her, as did a greenish smoke. Everything she looked at seemed slightly blurred, as if she were moving too quickly to properly focus.

"The Beyond." she muttered to herself, wincing as the volume was raised due to the odd distortions of the realm. Slowly she willed herself forward, eyes widening as she realized she was in some sort of recreation of the decimated Temple of Sacred Ashes. Scorched bodies blazed on the ground around her, just as they had right after the Conclave. She paused, seeing two silhouettes up ahead. Hesitantly she kept going, recognizing the forms of Cullen and Josephine. "They aren't real." she reminded herself. Suddenly, Leliana appeared behind them.

"Is this shape useful? Will it let me know you?" she asked, her voice echoing in a manner that indicated possession. "Everything tells me about you." the bard revealed smugly. She moved behind Cullen. "So will this: watch." she ordered, pressing a knife against his throat. Ellana tried to ignore the spike of fear she felt. _Not real. Not real. Not real._

"Are you trying to tempt me or copy me?" she drawled, making her voice as uncaring as possible. The Leliana demon unflinchingly dragged her knife across Cullen's throat. He fell to the ground with a gurgle, and Ellana had to force herself to stay still. It was surprising how much watching him die, even in falsehood, hurt. She felt guilt, as she still hadn't spoken to him since the incident. She wanted to lash out, but she could not. She had to beat the demon at its own game.

"Are you trying to copy me?" it asked in Ellana's voice as it backed away and vanished. Josephine stepped forward with a laugh.

"Being you, will be so much more interesting than being the Lord Seeker." the demon informed her. It vanished, and she looked around warily. "Do you know what the Inquisition can become? You'll see." it asked right beside her ear, causing her to jump wildly as she turned to face it. Naturally, it wasn't there. However, its voice continued to echo through the hall. "When I'm done, the Elder One will kill you and ascend. Then I will _be_ you."

"Who or what is this Elder One?" she asked tiredly. It laughed Josephine's laugh, but twisted, darker.

"He is...between things. Mortal once, but no longer. Glory is coming, and the Elder One wants you to serve him like everyone else: by dying in the right way." she said, appearing beside her once more.

"Keep talking then." she replied calmly. The creature furrowed its brow and walked into the shadows.

"I am not your toy. I am Envy, and I will know you!" Cullen's voice said behind her. She turned to see him standing there, throat still bleeding down the front of his armor. It was a horrific sight, to say the least. "Tell me 'Herald', in your mind. Tell me what you think!" it grumbled, stabbing a knife into a shadow that looked like her. Her shade fell with a cry. "Tell me what you feel!" he ordered, lighting what looked like the war table on fire. Her shadow appeared beside her again, clutching its stomach and crying out as it fell. She realized there was a knife in her own hands.

"Tell me what you see!" her voice said in her ear. She hurled the knife to the floor and strode away. The demon would learn nothing if she could help it.

The next room she entered had her shadow kneeling before Cassandra, four blades pointed at its neck. Cassandra was interrogating her, just as she had right after the Conclave. It was sifting through her memories, she realized. If it tried to touch her memories of Mahanon, she would burn this dreamscape to the ground. She edged quietly around the room, not wanting to disturb the creations in the center. If they attacked, she would be severely outnumbered. Through the doorway, the shadow version of herself stood before two shemlen, arms folded across her chest.

"The enemies have surrendered unconditionally." the woman said.

"The Inquisition's strength rivals any kingdom in Thedas." the man added excitedly. The shadow arched an eyebrow.

"Our reach begins to match my ambition...but we will strive for more." she concluded. Ellana snorted.

"Is imitating what you can't have your only pleasure, demon?" she queried.

"Accusing...trying to find my weakness...is that the woman you are?" a voice asked. She rolled her eyes and continued on. The statues in the room before her began spouting green flame. She dodged to avoid their burning touch.

"You raised the standards for the Templars. Do you admire them? Respect them?" the voice asked. She continued to run and duck away from the streams of liquid fire.

"Do you see how glorious my Inquisition will be after you die at the hands of the Elder One?" it cheered before disappearing through a doorway that was blocked by the fires. She roared wordlessly in frustration before searching some side rooms for another way.

"You're hurting, helpless, hasty. What happens to the hammer when there are no more nails?" a new, different voice asked.

"What are you? Get out! This is my place!" Envy hissed. Ellana tried to leave the room.

"Wait." the new voice requested. She turned and walked back into the room, but there was no one there. "Envy is hurting you." the voice said behind her. She turned, but was alone. "Mirrors on mirrors on memories. A face it can feel, but not fake. I want to help. You, not Envy." She turned back, and saw a boy, a young man, really, standing upside-down on the ceiling. His straw-colored hair poked out from beneath his wide-brimmed hat, and his pale skinned face wore a hesitant smile. He looked like a shemlen, but there was something about him, a feeling that told her he was not human.

"Why continue this, Envy? Who is this supposed to be?" she asked irritably.

"Me! I'm Cole. I'm still Cole. We're inside you. Or...I am. You're always inside you. It's easy to hear, harder to be a part of what you're hearing. But I'm here. Hearing, helping, I hope." he rambled. She stepped closer to him, wondering exactly what he was. Her curiosity was overpowering her caution. "Envy hurt you, is hurting you. I tried to help. Then, I was here, in the hearing. It's...It's not usually like this." she closed her eyes, wondering what the being was trying to say.

"If you can explain this, I'm listening." she answered through gritted teeth, hoping she did not sound too irritated. He quickly moved from the ceiling to the floor before crouching on a table.

"I was watching, I watch. Every Templar knew when you arrived. They were impressed, but not like the Lord Seeker." he explained. She frowned.

"The 'Lord Seeker' is an envy demon. It wants to be me." she asked, making sure she was on the right track. He nodded excitedly like a small child.

"Yes. It twisted the commanders. Forced their fury, their fight. They're red inside. Anyway, you're frozen. Envy is trying to take your face. I heard it, and reached out, and then in, and then I was here." the boy recited.

"All right, Cole. Can I get out the way you got in?" she asked, trying to move things along. He looked incredibly confused.

"Yes, but I think you would die. It's _your_ head. You shouldn't be out of it." he replied in that same, bland tone.

"Then how do I evict everyone else?" she growled. He stood and walked toward her.

"All of this is Envy: People, places, power. If you keep going, Envy stretches. It takes strength to make more." he told her. She finally thought she might be getting somewhere. "Being one person is hard. Being many, too many, more and more, and envy breaks down, you break out."

"So...if we keep moving in my...'head', we tire Envy into submission?" she inquired. He shrugged, as if it wasn't anything important.

"Maybe. I hope it helps. It's more than sitting here waiting to lose your face." he commented before running out of the room. She followed and he pointed at the flames. "Imagine water." he ordered. She did as she was told, and soon the steady stream of fire was a quiet rivulet of water.

"THAT THING CAN'T HELP YOU! I WILL SEE MORE!" Envy raged. The landscape shifted, and she was no longer within a temple. It appeared that she had been moved to a prison. "BETRAYED ALLIES WILL CURSE YOUR NAME. LIKE THE FIRST INQUISITION, YOU WILL BRING BLOOD AND RUIN AND FEAR!"

"Unless you don't? You don't have to. None of this is real unless you let it be." Cole said from...somewhere. He and the Envy demon began to argue, and Ellana began to ignore them. She needed to get out. She ran through the prison as quickly as she could. "Think of sparks! The darkness isn't real!" Cole exclaimed. She began lighting fires wherever she could, and suddenly, the prison vanished.

"I HAVEN'T SEEN ENOUGH!" Envy roared, and once more the land around her shifted. Now she stood in a hazy forest, filled with the silence of the dead and the screams of the living. Many Orlesians surrounded her, shouting that Val Royeaux was burning.

"They say the Herald summoned more demons after Celene was murdered!" One cried. She turned and looked at the "person". Celene? The Empress of Orlais? Why would she be... Ellana filed that away for later, wondering if an assassination of the Empress was actually a plot in real life.

"Almost there, keep going up." Cole encouraged. She did as he suggested, and the world slowly began vanishing as Envy lost his hold on her. The forest was no longer a forest, and instead began to appear as the courtyard that her actual body stood in. Suddenly she was shoved up against the doors by her own shadow.

"Unfair, unfair! That _thing_ kept you whole, kept you from giving me your shape!" it screeched. She struggled against the fingers pressed against her throat.

"What could you gain from being me?" she croaked, kicking at the creature to no avail.

"What could you gain? What? Ugh!" it spat disgustedly. Its hand began to glow. "We'll start again. More pain this time. The Elder One still comes!"

"It's frightened of you." Cole said from nearby. The creature dropped her in surprise.

"Get out of-" it began before Ellana headbutted it in the face. The world around her faded once more, flashing white before returning to normal. Where Lord Seeker Lucius had previously stood, a lanky, flesh colored creature plopped to the ground. Its elongated limbs twitched as it scrabbled across the floor in a hurry to escape her. The creature shrieked, revealing a terrifying, eyeless face. She stepped away, bumping into Blackwall's broad chest. He gently pushed her forward so that she safely stood on her own feet.

"The Lord Seeker!" Ser Barris cried as the demon vanished into the great hall.

"No. An imposter." Ellana corrected. The knight sighed and looked at the glowing green barrier that prevented them from reaching the demon.

"That monster ensured we weren't prepared. I still don't know what we're up against." he admitted. She wrinkled her nose at the thought of apologizing to...a Templar.

"I'm sorry. An envy demon replaced the Lord Seeker." she revealed.

"Envy! Then the Lord Seeker..." Cassandra cried. Ellana had forgotten that Cassandra actually knew the man.

"Is caged...or dead. Maker." Ser Barris breathed. He shook his head angrily, turning to her. "It used the red lyrium to corrupt the Order, didn't it? I knew that miserable stuff was risky! They often give us new kinds of lyrium. Our commanders, they used the red stuff first, to prove it was harmless. The knights would have been next. That demon turned our leaders so we couldn't question when this started!" he moaned. Ellana frowned.

"Will you keep blaming yourself, or help me end this?" she asked sternly, having no time for his pity party. The young man's face hardened.

"Templars, what is Envy?" he asked suddenly, turning to some of the other men in the room.

"A coward, brother." one replied.

"It studies, makes less mistakes, but most of all, it hides." another answered. Barris turned back to her, a commanding look on his face. She found herself thinking that he was far too young to be facing something like this, Templar or no. A child, truly.

"We need our veterans if we wish to make it through this fight. Find them for us, and we will give you Envy." the "child" ordered. Ellana found herself out of the hall and rescuing a few of the veterans before she realized that she had followed the orders of a Templar. A _child_ Templar! She sent the veterans into the hall, then walked into a room that made her gasp in surprise. At its center there was a bust of a woman with a dagger shoved into her head, pinning a note to her marble features. Papers scattered across the floor, and the walls were painted with crude drawings of the Inquisition's symbol. She shuddered. Everything about the room made her uncomfortable. She stepped closer to the bust in an attempt to read the note.

"The Elder One wants her dead." Cole said, stepping out from behind the bust. "Empress Celene. He hates her, haunts her, wants her dead, but hides why. He hid other things too." To her credit, she did not jump out of her skin when he appeared. Perhaps she was getting used to the strange boy. She glanced back at her followers, who didn't appear to be paying attention. When she turned back, Cole was gone.

"This Elder One picked quite a target. That's the Empress of Orlais." Cassandra pointed out. Ellana nodded slowly. She hadn't recognized the figure until Cole revealed who she was, but she didn't understand why the Elder One would want to attack her. What would killing her gain him?

"Let's get back to the hall." she replied quietly. She wanted all of this to be over.

Barris and the other Templars were waiting for them. A large group was kneeling before the barrier that the demon had thrown up, attempting to eradicate it, while the rest of them fought off the beastly corrupted Templars that poured in. Ellana dove into the battle, striking the Red Templars with everything she could muster. After a time, the barrier dissipated, and she charged forward to face the Envy demon. A few Templars followed, but the rest stayed to deal with any extraneous foes.

Envy waited in the courtyard, looking a like a wild animal backed into a corner. Its large head swiveled back and forth as it hissed at them, and she knew that the beast was aware of its impending death. She did not hesitate to blast it with lightning, encouraging the others to attack as well. At first Envy fought like a cornered animal, but after a short time the creature gave up. The attacks had no fierceness, as it knew its fate. Soon the demon lay dead before them, and she turned to look at the Templars who were filing in. Her hands were shaking as she studied the men before her. Each of them had gratitude and adoration in their eyes, and it made her wonder if they could see the fear in hers. They would never respect her if they knew she feared them.

"The demon is dead. Andraste be praised, she shielded you from its touch. We've numbers across Thedas, but we let this happen. Our officers either failed to see it or were complicit. The Templars are ready to hear what the Inquisition needs of us." Ser Barris announced. She blinked, pulled from her thoughts. Without looking she pointed in the direction of the Breach. She knew that her hand had landed at the exact point in the sky that the Breach was located. It was a new skill she had discovered.

"That's our enemy. The Breach can't be overcome with words. Hope won't make it disappear. If Templars still stand against ruinous magic, this is the moment to fulfill your pledge." she answered simply. Barris nodded, his face a stern mask.

"You speak truths we should never have ignored. But the Order is leaderless, gutted by betrayal. We must rebuild it." he pointed out. She sighed and closed her eyes. People would be very upset with her. She was terrified of the words that tumbled from her mouth.

"Your order is a symbol that holds the people's respect. That cannot die today." she said quietly. Her eyes opened as she raised her head. "We offer you an alliance. Supplies, weapons, grounds to shelter you. All we ask is you help us close the Breach." she finished. Cassandra gasped in outrage behind her, but she ignored it.

"Do we take the Inquisitions terms, brothers and sisters?" Barris asked. Cheering answered him. "The Templars will come. I hope your stronghold is ready." Ellana noticed Cole lurking behind the Templars.

"We'll be ready for anyone willing to throw their hat in with us." she said, speaking more to the boy than to anyone else. As they prepared to return to Haven, she found herself hoping she had made the right choice.


	10. Chapter 10

"Officers betraying their soldiers, Templars without leaders, a demon imitating the Lord Seeker..." Cassandra listed, her voice unnecessarily loud. "We should have taken them to task! The crimes they've committed..."

"Were committed by their officers. The soldiers of the Order will serve." Cullen growled. Ellana got the feeling he was defending _her_ more than the Templars. Her cheeks reddened slightly at the thought.

"These crimes put them at our mercy, yet the terms of this alliance do not benefit the Inquisition as they should. You should have consulted us, Herald." Leliana hissed. Ellana blatantly rolled her eyes at her. She hadn't had anyone to consult. She had to make the decision on her own. She was the one who had to go into the stronghold full of her worst nightmare to secure an alliance for the bloody Inquisition. What had Leliana done?

"We still need to prepare for them. I have contacts in the lyrium trade. Regular lyrium." she announced, clearly ignoring the red-head. She could feel the irritation rolling off of the shem, but she did not care.

 _"_ _Let go of the hate, emma lath."_ Mahanon's voice was like a caress on her mind. She sighed. He was right. None of these people had done anything against her. In fact, they had done much to help her, especially Cullen. She glanced at him shyly before looking away.

"If you'd be so kind as to put me in touch with them, I'll secure funding. How many Templars are expected?" Josephine asked, jumping right into the business aspects of the whole situation. Ellana liked that about her.

"A few dozen veterans are coming ahead of the rest to help seal the Breach." Leliana said, still scowling slightly.

"How soon until these veterans arrive?" Ellana asked. A sudden cloud of dust sprang up from the table, and out of nowhere, Cole appeared.

"They're almost here. Templars don't like to be late." he said in his odd fashion.

"Maker!" Cullen exclaimed as he and Cassandra drew their swords. Ellana was the only person in the room who did not react to his sudden appearance. She was used to this by now.

"Wait!" she exclaimed, stepping toward the boy.

"I came with you to help. I would have told you before, but you were busy." Cole said shyly. Ellana nodded.

"That's fine, Cole. You just startled them, appearing out of thin air." she reminded him. He looked confused.

"I wasn't air...I was here. You didn't see me. Most don't until I let them." he replied, baffled.

"Call the guards! This creature is not what you..." Cassandra cried.

"A moment please, Cassandra. I would like to know why he came." Leliana admitted, fascinated by Cole's appearance. Cole looked at Ellana, who nodded in encouragement.

"You help people. You made them safe when they would have died. I want to do that. I can help." he revealed. Ellana could see that her advisors wanted more of an explanation.

"Why and how would you help the Inquisition?" she asked gently. She felt a deep need to protect this creature, whatever he was. A spirit, most likely, but unlike any spirit she had ever encountered.

"The hole in the sky is too loud for spirits to think. It's pulling, pushing out pain. I want to stop it." he promised.

"How altruistic of you." Cassandra replied drily. Cole obviously couldn't identify sarcasm, because he smiled at her gratefully. Cassandra had the courtesy to look embarrassed.

"I want to help! I can be hard to see, I can kill things that want to hurt people. I won't get in the way." he begged.

"Cole saved my life at Therinfall. I couldn't have defeated Envy without him." Ellana said, defending the boy.

"But what does he want now?" Cassandra inquired. Ellana huffed in frustration.

"I think he _really_ wants to help." she reiterated.

"I won't be in the way. Tiny, no trouble, no notice taken unless you want them to." he pleaded. He reminded her of a few of the children in her Clan. A dull ache filled her. She wondered if her own little Aria would have been like him.

"You're not honestly suggesting that we give him run of the camp." Cullen said incredulously. Ellana gave him a look that assured him that was _exactly_ what she was suggesting. He nodded his acceptance.

"Not freely, perhaps, but it seems a waste to...hold on." Josephine began just as everyone simultaneously realized that the boy had vanished.

"Where did he go?" Cassandra asked, looking around worriedly. Ellana laughed delightedly.

"It's a good trick. You'll get used to it." she grinned.

"I'll have people watch the boy, but let's not be distracted from the Breach." Leliana reminded them.

"We'll need your help when the Templars arrive. Take time to prepare while you can." Cullen said, concern etching his features. It was clear that he was telling her to prepare for the emotional aspects of the Templar's arrival. She nodded gratefully and realized that she still had not spoken to him about his being a Templar. She would have to make time for that later. She walked outside, searching for Solas. He was in his usual place, pacing through the snow.

"So the Templars will put their powers to use sealing the Breach. Any group corrupted by a demon must be watched carefully. At least they know how to fight." he said contentedly. She furrowed her brow at him in confusion. He made no sense to her.

"I expected an apostate mage would hate Templars." she pointed out.

"They have flaws, but I try to understand them. You cannot change anything without understanding." he explained.

"You're a surprising person, Solas." she said.

"This campaign promises to be full of surprises." he said, gesturing for her to follow as he headed off toward the forest. "Speaking of which, you should ready yourself." he reminded her as they passed through the trees. Being alone with him made her heart speed up.

"For?" she asked.

"This Elder One. You have now interfered with his plans twice. Once at the Temple of Sacred Ashes, and now again with the Templars. A being who aspires to godhood is unlikely to ignore such an affront." she nodded in agreement.

"I will be ready." she promised. He nodded briskly.

"Good. I wouldn't want anything to happen to you." he answered. His eyes widened in surprise, as if that was something he had meant to keep to himself. Her cheeks warmed slightly, and she hoped he thought it was from the cold.

"I did not realize you cared." she probed. He tilted his head slightly.

"What would possibly give you the idea that I don't care for you?" he asked before turning and leaving her alone in the snow. She stared at the ground, mind racing. Had he really just said that? She felt anxious. Why did Cullen keep coming to mind? Her feelings were conflicted in her heart, and she did not know what to do.

"Men." she huffed irritably.

"They're terrible, yeah? That's why I stick with women." a loud voice said behind her. She turned to see Sera leaning against a tree.

"You prefer women?" Ellana asked in surprise. Sera grinned lecherously.

"Of course I do. Lady bits are more fun to play with than those danglin' things men've got." she giggled. Ellana laughed in surprise.

"I'll have to agree to disagree on that one. Are women as frustrating as men are?" she asked. Sera opened her mouth.

"I was going to say no, but that is a lie, innit? Everyone's frustrating, it's just how the world is." she declared. Ellana grinned. Sera was crazy, there was no doubting that, but sometimes...sometimes she made sense.

"Thanks, Sera." she replied.

"For what?" she asked.

"Just...thanks." Sera stared at her quizzically.

"All right then. Loony." she replied before stamping off to Haven. Ellana smiled after her before heading back into Haven. She needed to talk to Cullen, confusion or no.

She found him hunched over the war table, alone. He was so focused on the map before him that he did not hear her entrance. She watched him for a while, remembering something that Solas had said about her. The elf had told her she had an "indomitable focus" that would be interesting to see dominated. Looking at Cullen, she saw that he had the same indomitable focus. She blushed slightly at the idea of dominating it. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, he looked up. His eyes widened slightly and his cheeks reddened as he straightened.

"Ellana, I didn't hear you." he said. She closed the door, ensuring that no one would interrupt what she had to say.

"Cullen, I wanted to thank you." she began. He gave her a quizzical look.

"Thank me? For what?" he wondered. She slowly made her way around the table as she spoke.

"For listening? For being there when I needed you. Telling you what happened to me helped lift a weight off my shoulders. So thank you for making things a bit easier for me. And thank you for not telling anyone." she explained. He stepped closer to her, and she could feel the heat of him in the small space between them.

"I will do my best to always be there for you, Ellana. You have my word." he vowed. She smiled. She had never had a friend like him before. It had been a long time since she had truly trusted anyone, but she realized that Cullen had her trust. He had earned it.

"I hope I can do the same for you." she admitted. He grinned. Without thinking, she threw her arms around his waist. He hesitated for a brief moment before returning her embrace with a fierceness she hadn't expected. She didn't know how long they held each other, but she knew that while she was there, she felt safe. They heard the doorknob turn and they immediately separated without a word. Josephine poked her head through the door.

"Was I interrupting?" she asked. Ellana and Cullen both shook their heads.

"We were finished, I think." Cullen said. Ellana nodded in agreement. She had rekindled their friendship as she had wanted. She had thanked him like she wanted. Why did she still feel a war within her heart?

"I should go, I need to rest up before the Templars arrive." she said before excusing herself. She wasn't wrong. Closing the Breach was going to wear her out. In fact, everything she had done lately had tired her out enough to sleep for a year. When she reached her cabin, she intended to sleep as much as she could. Surprisingly, she fell asleep quickly, drifting off and letting the Beyond embrace her.

* * *

She stared up at the Breach, Templars surrounding her wherever she looked. They stood, ready to lend their power to hers. There were so many expectations, so many hopes riding on her success. It was...an excruciating amount of pressure, really. Solas and Cullen stood on either side of her, both of them causing her heart to race even more. She might just die of unexamined feelings before she had a chance to close the Breach.

"Templars! Focus past the Herald! Let her will draw from you!" Solas cried, turning to the men behind her. He had no idea how terrified she was of them. Cullen reached out and gave her hand a squeeze, which Solas noticed. She saw his eyes narrow slightly before he returned his attention to the Templars. He continued shouting orders as she inched her way forward, palm thrust before her, sparking like a fire. "Now!" Solas cried, and she heard the sounds of swords being shoved to the ground as the Templars directed their focus to her. She felt them, in a way, as she latched onto the massive chasm in the sky.

Years passed, or maybe it was seconds. Minutes. Hours. She could no longer tell. It felt like both the spread of a lifetime and the blink of an eye as the mark suctioned onto the Breach. She thought her arm was going to be torn off. She thought she would die. She felt the fears of the Templars and the bravery they exhibited. She felt their hope, and their awe for her and her actions. She felt their determination mixing with her own. She felt their desire to flee mingling with hers. She felt her heart speeding up just as theirs did. Their exhaustion, their exuberance, their faith, it was all hers as they lent her their strength. After an indeterminable amount of time, her hand fell with a loud popping sound. A gust of wind knocked everyone to the ground. Her eyes closed as she rested against the dirt, wondering if it had worked. Silence answered her thoughts for a time before the ruined temple erupted in cheers. She opened a single eye. Cassandra's face filled her vision.

"You did it!" she breathed, to astonished to be truly excited. Ellana opened both eyes and accepted her assistance to stand. She gazed up at the sky, seeing only stars and a slight shimmer where the Breach had been. The sky appeared scarred, but whole. She took a step forward, only to stumble into Solas' arms. It appeared she had been correct about the amount of exhaustion closing the Breach had instilled her with.

"Congratulations, Herald." he said softly. She grinned at him.

"I think I need a nap now." she said before her eyes fluttered shut.


	11. Chapter 11

She stared out over the crowd of people who were jubilantly celebrating their victory. She, for once, had gotten her nap, although it had only spanned a few hours before the celebrations woke her. All of the townspeople were drinking and dancing joyously. A few had tried to convince her to join them, but she declined. She didn't trust them. How could she, when not long ago they had hated her and blamed her for what happened at the Conclave? People who were too trusting got a knife in the ribs. Not that she really thought any of them would kill her, especially after sealing the Breach, but you couldn't be too careful.

"Solas confirms the heavens are scarred but calm. The Breach is sealed." Cassandra said as she approached. "We've reports of lingering rifts, and many questions remain, but this was a victory. Word of your heroism will spread." Ellana snorted as she turned to the Seeker. Cassandra was growing on her. She was a bit too entangled in her religion, but she wasn't as dense as she had originally thought.

"You know how many people were involved. Luck...or lack of it... put me at the center." she answered sarcastically.

"A strange kind of luck. I'm not sure if we need more or less of it. But you're right. This was a victory of alliance. One of the few in recent memory. With the Breach closed, this alliance will need a new focus." Cassandra said just as loud, clanging bells began to sound. Ellana jumped, startled. The loud, abrasive sound was unexpected. She looked at Cassandra, whose eyes seemed worried.

"Is that an alarm?" she asked. Cassandra nodded and began to run toward the main gates. Ellana followed suit, stopping by her cabin to grab her staff. She had not taken off her armor, which she found herself thanking Mythal for. She saw Cullen issuing orders at the gates.

"Forces approaching, to arms!" he bellowed.

"Cullen!" she exclaimed as she reached him. He turned to her, anger on his face.

"One watchguard reporting. It's a massive force, the bulk over the mountain." he reported.

"Under what banner?" Josephine asked as she ran over to them.

"None." he answered grimly. Ellana scowled at the gates. Who wanted them dead? An explosion sounded just outside the gates, followed by shouting.

"If someone could open this, I'd appreciate it." a familiar voice yelled.

"Dorian?" she asked, shoving the gates open. The Tevinter mage was standing from a crouch, a group of strange mages dead on the ground around him.

"Ah! I'm here to warn you! Fashionably late, I'm afraid." Dorian quipped. As he stood, he stumbled into Cullen. "A mite exhausted, don't mind me." he said wearily. His gray-green eyes fell on her and he grinned. "There you are! I came to tell you what happened in Redcliffe. You aren't going to like it, I'm afraid." he revealed. Ellana glanced at Cullen, who shrugged. Bad news wasn't really surprising any longer. "They are under the command of the Venatori, in service to something called the Elder One." he turned to point at a cliff in the distance. Ellana could see the form of a woman standing beside something that was far too large to be human. It stood head and shoulders over the woman and then some. "The woman is Calpernia. She commands the Venatori. For that...the Elder One. They were already marching on Haven. I risked my life to get here first." he said, as if he was worried that she would throw him out. She might not fully trust the man, but she was not going to leave him to those abominations.

"Cullen. Give me a plan. Anything, please." she requested as she stared at the Elder One. The former Templar shook his head in frustration.

"Haven is no fortress. If we are to withstand this monster, we must control the battle." he admitted. "Get out there and hit that force with everything you can." he suggested, gesturing to the trebuchets scattered around the border of Haven. "Soldiers, gather the villagers. Fortify and watch for advance forces. Inquistion! With the Herald! For your lives! For all of us!" he ordered. Everyone immediately began scattering around, trying to take care of everything at once. Ellana did not hesitate to leap onto a trebuchet and aim it toward the mountainside.

"You're going to miss!" Cassandra cried.

"No I won't." she grunted before firing. The ammunition landed against the mountain with a distant, satisfying boom. Snow began to cascade upon the enemy army. Inquisition soldiers cheered at her intuition, and she ushered them back to the village. Suddenly, a ball of fire exploded before her, killing the small squadron of soldiers who had accompanied her. She gaped up to see a massive, ancient dragon.

"Is that...an archdemon?" Cass breathed. Without hesitation, she sprinted back to the gates, hoping that her people were all right. She could not see him, but she could hear Cullen shouting at people to get into the chantry, and Solas had made his way to her side when she hadn't been paying attention. When she arrived at the old building, a weary Dorian was aiding a wounded Roderick as they ushered people inside. Dorian realized she was studying them.

"A brave man. He stood alone against a Venatori." he explained. Ellana felt a sudden shame. She had spent so much time hating this man, and yet he had sacrificed himself for the people. Such sacrifice was the sign of a true warrior, and a strong leader.

"Briefly, I am no Templar." Roderick coughed.

"Ellana! Our position is not good." Cullen said as he approached her. She heard Solas shift behind her in a seemingly irritated manner. "That dragon stole back any time you might have earned us. There has been no communication, no demands. Only advance after advance." Dorian snorted.

"There was no bargaining with the mages, either. This Elder One takes what he wants." he scoffed. "From what I gathered, it marched all the way from Redcliffe to take your Herald." Ellana snarled.

"If you have any idea why he's after me, I'm all ears." she snapped. Dorian shrugged.

"Besides taking his Templars, I've no idea what would incur this much wrath. And such a promising start with the landslide." he laughed. "A shame trebuchets do not remain an option." Cullen nodded thoughtfully, and she wondered where his mind was wandering.

"They are, if we turn the last of them to the mountainside above us." he suggested. Ellana's eyes widened at him. That was suicide.

"We're overrun. To hit the enemy, we'd bury Haven." she repeated as though to reveal what he was actually saying. He nodded.

"This is not survivable now. The only chance left is how spitefully we end this." he agreed. Dorian charged over to them.

"Well, that's not acceptable. I did not race here only to have you drop rocks on my head." he argued.

"Should we submit? Let him kill us?" Cullen retorted. Thoughts began forming in Ellana's head. This Elder One didn't want everyone, only her.

"Dying is typically a last resort, not a first. For a Templar, you think like a blood mage." Dorian growled.

"There is a path." Roderick croaked. "You wouldn't know it was there unless you made the pilgrimmage, as I have. The people can escape. She must have shown me. Andraste must have shown me so I could tell you." he rambled. Her gaze shifted so she was locking eyes with Cullen. Strange that not long ago she would have done anything to avoid looking into the eyes of a shem, unless it was in defiance, but this one had weaseled his way into her trust. Ellana stared at him for a long time, knowing her final decision long before she spoke it. He seemed to know what she would suggest before she opened her mouth. A look of resignation crossed his face.

"Will it work, Cullen?" she whispered. He closed his eyes, looking as though he were in pain from her whispered words.

"Possibly. _If_ he shows us the path." he answered slowly.

"But what of your escape?" Solas asked, barging forward looking more distressed than she had ever seen him. She gave him a level look, trying to convey through her gaze the words her mouth couldn't form. She would not be escaping. She would die here. She would be with Mahanon again, and she wouldn't need to worry about the conflict in her heart anymore.

"Perhaps you'll surprise it." Cullen suggested, a glimmer of hope in his eyes. She looked at the two men. Hopefully her death wouldn't hurt them too much. She smiled gratefully at Cullen before he turned to rouse the people. "Inquisition! Follow Chancellor Roderick through the Chantry! Move!" he ordered.

"Herald, if you are meant for this...if the Inquisition is meant for this, I pray for you." the old man said as Dorian lead him away. Solas stalked off after the people without a word, fury painted on his usually serene face. She stopped Varric before he left.

"Keep an eye on Solas for me. He seems...distraught." she murmured. Her friend nodded and gave her a sad smile.

"I'll take care of Chuckles, don't you worry about it. Just come back to us, Peaches." he commented. Soon only she and Cullen remained.

"I sent some men ahead to load the trebuchets. Keep the Elder One's attention until we're above the tree line." he said, trying to keep his tone businesslike. Suddenly he was crushing her against his chest. She returned his fierce embrace, the terror of what she was about to do catching up with her. Part of her was surprised at how accepting she was of his touch. She hadn't let anyone touch her, much less hold her, since Mahanon's death. Anyone who tried got shocked with lightning. "If we are to have a chance...if _you_ are to have a chance-let that thing hear you." he murmured. She felt his warm lips press against her forehead before he released her.

"I'll try." she said before turning away. She couldn't look at him. She wanted her last memory of him to be of that embrace. When thinking of Solas, she tried to remember the day prior, when he had told her that he cared for her. She did not want to think of the pain he had shown as he left the chantry. She made her way down to the trebuchets, and Haven was surprisingly quiet. The men had already loaded them and left by the time she reached them, and all she had to do was wait. They pointed at the mountain, and she strained her eyes for the signal. She heard a screeching cry, and the dragon suddenly appeared above her, letting loose a stream of lightning and fire. She dove out of the way, rolling in the dirt to avoid the attack. An explosion sounded nearby, and she raised her head to see that horrendous creature, the Elder One, walking out of the fire.

He was massive, at least double her small height of five feet, and three times wider than she. His face and body were both covered in a rotting corruption that made her gag and feel the urge to vomit. He looked as if a single touch would cause a piece of him to fall off, and at the same time as if he had survived for centuries. By the looks of it, he probably had. The dragon suddenly landed behind her and began screeching with rage.

"Enough!" the creature barked, his voice low and commanding. It was a deep boom that made the earth shake. His beady eyes fell upon her. "Pretender. You toy with forces beyond your ken. No more." She straightened, trying to appear much taller than she actually was.

"What are you? Why are you doing this?" she called, genuinely curious. The beast snorted in what might have been a laugh.

"Mortals beg for truth they cannot have. It is beyond what you are, what I was. Know me. Know what you have pretended to be. Exalt the Elder One. The _will_ that is Corypheus. You _will_ kneel." he reached out a long, clawed hand to point at her. She raised her chin stubbornly.

"You're forcing this fight for no reason." she spat. The beast wrinkled its features.

"You will resist. You will always resist. It matters not." he grumbled. He pulled a strange orb from his tattered robes. She was certain that she had never seen it before, but it was somehow familiar. "I am here for the Anchor. The process of removing it begins now." his claws thrust forth, and sudden agony erupted in her palm. An anguished scream ripped from her body, so loud she was certain all of Thedas could hear it, or at least the people running up the mountain. Corypheus did not falter. "It is your fault, 'Herald.' You interrupted a ritual years in the planning, and instead of dying, you stole its purpose. I do not know how you survived, but what marks you as 'touched', what you flail at rifts, I crafted to assault the very heavens. And you used the Anchor to undo my work. The gall!" he roared. She gasped for breath as she stared down at her hand. The edges around the mark were bleeding heavily, but nothing else seemed to be happening. Her body was becoming numb to the constant stream of pain, and she raised her head.

"What is this thing meant to do?" she stammered.

"It is meant to bring certainty where there is none. For you, the certainty that I would always come for it." he answered. Suddenly, the tearing sensation stopped, and she felt herself being lifted into the air by the wrist. Up close, she could smell his fetid breath. Her stomach roiled as she tried not to vomit over the odor. His entire head was the size of her torso, and she had never felt smaller in her entire life. "I once breached the Fade in the name of another, to serve the Old Gods of the empire _in person._ " her eyes widened as she realized what he was saying. He was one of the seven magisters who had broken into the Beyond and brought the Blight upon this world, according to Chantry legend. But if he was saying this...was the legend true? "I found only chaos and corruption. Dead whispers. For a thousand years, I was confused. No more. I have gathered the will to return under no name but my own, to champion withered Tevinter and correct this Blighted world. Beg that I succeed, for I have seen the throne of the Gods, and it was _empty_." he whispered before forcibly hurling her against the trebuchet. She lost all of her breath as her body struck the wooden machine, and her vision went black for a moment as she felt something snap inside her. She grunted and woozily stood, grabbing a nearby sword in a half-hearted attempt to defend herself. "The Anchor is permanent. You have spoiled it with your stumbling. So be it. I will begin again, find another way to give this world the nation-the god- it requires." she stopped listening to his words as a ball of flame rocketed above the treeline. Her eyes filled with tears, and she wasn't sure if they were of relief or pain. They had made it. She looked down with a sad smile. "And you. I will not suffer even an unknowing rival. You must die." he added in a bored tone. She saw the trigger for the trebuchet beside her and she straightened as best she could.

"You expect us to surrender and kneel. We will not." she answered coldly. "You'll face us all when _we_ choose!" she said before hurling the sword at him and kicking the trigger. It released and, as she sprinted away, she heard it crash into the mountainside. She could feel the entire mountain shift as an avalanche cascaded down. She leaped over a fence, noticing the dragon flying off into the night, presumably with Corypheus in tow. Her eyes widened as she fell into a cellar and hit her head on a stone. Her people were safe. She could go in peace.


	12. Chapter 12

Solas thrust his fist against the snow drift that towered over him and grunted in rage. How could she do this? How could she sacrifice herself for these people? These shemlen, who called her "knife-ear" and blamed her for the death of their precious Divine? It didn't make any sense. And with her she had taken the Anchor, the creation that she should not have had in the first place, but that was still needed. She should have listened to him, and been more wary of the Elder One. Now she was dead. Why did that word pain him so? Dead. He had watched so many die. People had died for him, because of him, near him, in past, and in present. Yet _her_ death gave him a strange sensation in his chest, one that made it hard to breathe. One that made the world seem a much darker place. One that felt like a raw wound being torn open and salted. No death had made him feel this pain.

"She was the answer to my mistake." he argued with himself. "That's all." He wrinkled his nose. His lie to himself was as awful in quality as tea. He needed a stronger fib to tell himself. He couldn't dwell upon the fact that he would never see those hard, calculating gray-green eyes again. Or how he would never see her tuck a lock of her silky black hair behind her beautifully pointed ears. Or how he would never be able to see her indomitable focus dominated. He blushed at the last thought as...inappropriate...images came to mind. After that the anguish struck again.

"She's dead. She's never coming back." he growled. Just then, he heard what sounded like a riot coming from the camp. He sighed, but moved toward the people. He would continue to help as he had promised. As he came closer, he noticed that the sounds were not angry, but excited. His curiosity got the best of him and he shoved through the crowd. When he came to the opening at the center of the camp, he froze.

"The Herald, she's alive," One person said.

"It's her!" another cried. Commander Cullen was striding to the medical tents, a small, pale bundle pressed against his chest. It wasn't possible. His feet moved without thinking, and soon he was following after them in a dreamlike state. Cullen was lying her down on a cot as medics surrounded them. Solas stopped across from the man and, instead of looking down, looked at the former Templar. The pair stared at each other for a long time. Solas saw the relief and worry etched in Cullen's face and wondered if it mirrored his own, or if he had managed to stay stoic. As he studied the man, he felt a sudden surge of jealousy and hatred, just as he felt an equally powerful flood of gratitude and kinship. It was a startling juxtaposition. He felt a primal urge to defeat this man, this competition, for her attention, and yet, _he_ was the one who had brought her back from the dead. Well, he had found her, at least.

After an eternity, Cullen nodded at him, and Solas touched a hand to her frozen features. He placed his palms on her cheeks and began to use a delving spell to determine her injuries. She had several broken ribs, along with a cracked femur and a punctured lung. It was a wonder she had even made it up the mountain. She was miraculous. Quickly, he set to work, healing the most severe injuries first. He sealed the tiny hole in her lung and reset her ribs with a satisfying click. She groaned uncomfortably in her sleep, but did not wake.

By the time he finished healing her leg and shoulder, sweat was dripping down his face. He couldn't summon the strength to do anything else. His eyes widened in panic as he realized that he hadn't used any of his magic to warm her. Even after all his effort, she might still die of hypothermia. Someone appeared at his side, and he saw a pair of tanned brown arms reaching down and taking her head between them. He could feel the magic emanating and he turned to see that Tevinter mage...Dorian... giving her the warmth that he himself could not provide. Given the animosity between the Dalish and Tevinter, he wouldn't have expected the man to provide aid. Solas was surprised to see concern in his gray eyes. He gave him a polite smile that was returned awkwardly.

"She will live." Dorian said, relief in his voice. He looked surprised at his own tone. Solas felt a weight lift from his heart, and Cullen let out a deep sigh. Dorian suddenly looked very stern. "The two of you need to leave." he ordered. Solas' eyes widened indignantly.

"What are you talking about, I am the one who did most of the healing!" he exclaimed. Dorian turned on him.

"She needs to rest. If she has the two of you pacing around in that predatory manner, she will feel the tension and wake up. She cannot have that in here, so I need you both to leave." he said. Solas realized that Cullen was also staring at the mage stubbornly, and it became a competition to see who would give in to the Tevinter's demands first. Dorian rolled his eyes at them, folding his muscled arms across his chest. "Look, I can see that you are both head over heels for this girl, but if you stay in here for your dick measuring contest, she's not going to get better. So you can continue your primal grunting and chest beating outside the tent." he said.

Cullen immediately bowed his head and backed out of the tent, giving the Herald one last look. Solas had a feeling that in that tiny competition, he had lost to the Templar. With a final glare for Dorian, he made his way out as well. Cullen had positioned himself on guard just outside the tent. Solas looked at him briefly before stalking off into the forest. When he was alone, only the snow and the spirits to hear him, he laughed. He laughed until tears fell from his eyes. Alive. The Herald was alive.

* * *

"Ellana is alive." he said stubbornly.

"Cullen, you have to let her go." Josephine worriedly cautioned. He shook his head. It had been nearly four days since their escape from Haven, with no sight of her, but in his heart he knew. Everyone else had told him that there was no chance after the first day of waiting, but he still insisted. She lived. Even though they had all heard her horrific screams that night, he knew she was alive, even though he knew the sound of her anguish would haunt him until the day he died. If he had to hike back down to Haven on his own and dig her out, he would do it. He looked down at Josephine. The small, slender Antivan was still giving him that pleading gaze.

"Josephine. What I have to do is trust my heart, and my heart says that Ellana is alive." he answered softly. Her worry faded and became resolve.

"You are certain?" she whispered. She didn't seem to notice the surprise that crossed his face at her sudden change.

"I have never been more certain of anything, Josephine." he assured her. She nodded.

"Then I believe you. I will aid you in your search." she decided. He shot her a perplexed glance, which she _did_ notice. "I suppose that, when someone hopes something is true, it is easier to believe it." she admitted before adjusting the warm fur she had wrapped around her shoulders. "Shall we?" he nodded and they began trekking back up the hill, as he did every day.

Ellana had constantly been on his mind since he left her in the chantry. He should have gone with her, he knew that. She hadn't looked back at him as she went to face her fate. He wondered if she was trying to avoid seeing his anguish at her sacrifice. He had tried to hold it together for her that day. She needed him to be strong. Needed all of them to be strong. He tried to show her that he could, even though letting her go felt like he was shoving his heart through shards of glass. She was the bravest person he had ever known, it was the least he could do to be a little brave for her.

"Cullen!" Josephine said suddenly. He followed her arm to see a small, slender figure wobbling up the hill.

"Ellana!" he shouted. She looked up at him, and a relieved smile crossed her face before she tumbled forward into the snow. He sprinted toward her, heedless of any danger to himself. When he reached her, he saw that she was in a terrible state. Bruises and dried blood covered her body, which was surprisingly naked. Without hesitation he scooped her into his arms, hissing at the icy temperature of her skin. There didn't seem to be any warmth left. "Josephine, alert the mages, she needs healing!" he yelled as he began to run with her frozen body pressed tightly to his in an effort to warm her. The ambassador ran surprisingly quickly, vanishing over the hillside long before he reached the top.

When he finally reached the camp, a massive crowd formed, and whispers filled the air. The people of Haven strained to see what he carried, hoping that it was their Herald.

"The Herald! She's alive!" he heard.

"It's her!" another cried. He shoved his way through the throng to get her into a tent, and Solas suddenly appeared beside him. As he gently laid her on a cot, the elf stared at him. Solas managed to look as if he didn't have a care in the world, even when Ellana was broken and battered right before them. Cullen knew he wore his emotions openly on his face. He always had, when something mattered to him. A slight flicker in the elf's eyes gave away his worry, however, and Cullen nodded for him to proceed. His hands encompassed her face, and Cullen felt the familiar change in the air that accompanied magic use. He worked like wildfire, his hands moving to the various wounds in her body and sealing them up. Cullen heard her ribs click back together, and Ellana groaned. It was the first sign she had given since being brought here that she was alive. By the time Solas finished, he wavered where he stood, and sweat dripped down his bald head. Cullen touched her hand, and felt that it was still frozen. His eyes widened in fear. She could still die if she was left at this temperature.

Just then, Dorian entered with a flash, effectively shoving Solas aside and placing his brown hands on her cheeks. Cullen could feel the warmth returning to her as the mage worked, and he let out a sigh of relief. The man was quickly proving that not all the stories about the Imperium were the truth. He was certainly cocky and full of himself, but it was obvious that he cared.

"She will live." he murmured after a time before turning on them. "The two of you need to leave." Cullen was startled but not really surprised. He could feel the tension between himself and the elven mage.

"What are you talking about, I am the one who did most of the healing!" Solas barked angrily. Cullen winced. He was going to wake her if he didn't quiet down.

"She needs to rest. If she has the two of you pacing around in that predatory manner, she will feel the tension and wake up. She cannot have that in here, so I need you both to leave." Dorian explained. Cullen looked down at Ellana, not wanting to leave her side, before looking back up at Dorian. The man rolled his eyes. "Look, I can see that you are both head over heels for this girl, but if you stay in here for your dick measuring contest, she's not going to get better. So you can continue your primal grunting and chest beating outside the tent." Cullen bowed his head and, giving Ellana one final look, stepped out of the tent. Solas followed not long after, skulking out and glowering at him before running off to the woods. Cullen beamed as the realization of everything that had happened hit him. He felt tears of joy and relief rolling down his cheeks, and he did not care to wipe them away. Ellana was alive.


	13. Chapter 13

As soon as she came into consciousness, she realized that everything about her was stiff and uncomfortable. She refused to open her eyes, wondering if she was dead, or, if not, where she could possibly be. Death couldn't possibly be this uncomfortable, right?

"If you keep wrinkling your nose like that, it will stay that way." a calm voice said nearby. Her eyes popped open and she saw Dorian sitting casually beside her.

"Dorian? What is going on?" she asked, her voice a rough, gravelly croak. She began to sit up, and he pushed her down with no trouble. It was as if he was resisting a newborn kitten. Someone had dressed her in warm soft clothing. She vaguely remembered being naked when she was discovered.

"Well, everyone saw a mountain fall on you, and then a few days later you came strutting up the hill like nothing was wrong. Cullen found you and brought you here, Solas and I healed you, and then I promptly kicked both of them out." he recounted. She arched an eyebrow.

"Why would you do that?" she wondered. He snorted.

"You needed rest, and those two were prowling about the tent like a pair of starving wolves." he quipped. She blushed at the thought.

"How long have I been here?" she asked. Dorian patted her head.

"Nearly three days. It has been a week since the disaster at Haven." he admitted. A knock on the post interrupted their conversation. "Who is it?" the mage called.

"Mother Giselle." a very Orlesian voice replied. Dorian looked at Ellana, who nodded. He swept aside the tent flaps and welcomed her in.

"I will leave the two of you alone." he said, bowing his head and ducking out. With the flaps opened, she could hear the sounds of her advisors arguing in the distance. She smiled slightly. Some things would never change. Giselle glanced back toward the shouting and shook her head.

"You need rest." she murmured, seating herself beside the cot. Ellana chuckled softly.

"They sound like they've been at it for hours." she answered. Giselle poured some water and held it to her lips. Ellana drank greedily. It felt as if she had been swallowing sand.

"They have that luxury, thanks to you. The enemy could not follow, and with time to doubt, we turn to blame. Infighting may threaten as much as this Corypheus." the mother said.

"Do we know where Corypheus and his forces are?" Ellana croaked.

"We are not sure where _we_ are. Which may be why, despite the numbers he still commands, there is no sign of him. That, or you are believed dead. Or without Haven, we are thought helpless. Or he girds for yet another attack. I cannot claim to know the mind of the creature, only his effect on us." Ellana began sitting up. It was easier this time. She felt a little dizzy, but otherwise not bad.

"If they're arguing about what to do next, I need to be there." she said as she set her feet on the ground. Giselle placed a hand on her shoulder.

"Another heated voice won't help, even yours. Perhaps especially yours." she urged. "Our leaders struggle because of what we survivors witnessed. We saw our defender stand...and fall. And now we have seen her _return_. The more the enemy is beyond us, the more miraculous your actions appear. And the more our trials seem ordained. That is hard to accept, no? What 'we' have been called to endure? What 'we' perhaps, must come to believe?" she hinted. Ellana snorted.

"I escaped the avalanche by falling into a cellar. Barely, perhaps, but I never died." she reminded her. Giselle shrugged.

"Of course. And the dead cannot return from across the Veil. But the people know what they saw. Or perhaps, what they needed to see. The Maker works both in the moment, and in how it is remembered. Can we truly know the heavens are _not_ with us?" she responded as if reading from the Chant. Ellana made herself stand, scowl in place.

"I am _not_ a chosen one. Your Maker did not reach out and touch me. All of this happened because I was in the wrong place at the wrong time." she denied quietly before exiting the tent. She looked around, seeing her advisors scattered around the area, angry expressions on their faces. Their argument hadn't ended well, it seemed.

" _Shadows fall, and hope has fled. Steel your heart, the dawn will come."_ a deep voice sang behind her. She turned to see Mother Giselle following her, singing an unfamiliar hymn. Her eyes widened as Leliana joined in, then Josephine, then Cassandra, and then a cacophony of voices from all over the camp. People were approaching, looking at her with hope and awe, singing this song that she had never heard. The villagers and soldiers began kneeling before her, bowing as they sang. Her hands were trembling. This was making her extremely uncomfortable. She caught sight of Solas standing on the edge of everyone, observing. He wore a wry grin, and she felt an urge to give him an earful for it. She also saw Cullen, singing along with a look of pride on his face. The two were so different, and yet something about them both drew her. She glanced down at the ground, knowing that her cheeks were red from embarrassment.

"You may not believe, but these people do. Their faith in you is strong, Herald. Do not let your own doubts bring them down." Giselle said quietly after she was finished. Ellana wanted to sprint away, but everyone was staring at her with those adoring eyes. She felt magic tingling in her hands. She sometimes lost control when she was backed into a corner like this.

"A word?" Solas' low, cool voice murmured in her ear. She turned with a grateful expression on her face and nodded. He took her by the hand and led her away from the camp, to a fire just on the outskirts. She watched him expectantly as he tended the fire. She wondered if he actually wanted to discuss something, or if he was just rescuing her from the horde. He turned back to her and gave her a warm smile that sent a pleasant shiver down her spine. He had certainly never looked at her like that before.

"Is something the matter?" she asked. He shrugged as he straightened.

"The humans have not raised one of our people so high for ages beyond counting. Her faith is hard won, _lethallin_ , worthy of pride, save one detail." he paused to study her. "The threat Corypheus wields? The orb he carried: it is ours." he admitted. She frowned, and a small smile played across his lips. Sometimes it seemed to her that he relished in her anger. "Corypheus used the orb to open the Breach. Unlocking it must have caused the explosion that destroyed the Conclave. We must find out how the orb survived, and we must prepare for their reaction, when they learn the orb is of our people." he finished. Her frown deepened. He seemed to know a lot about this orb. She knew he was hiding something, yet in her heart she did not wish to ask. His secrets were one thing she did not want to know.

"All right, what is it and how do you know about it?" she asked, dancing around what she really wanted to know.

"Such things were foci, said to channel power from our gods. Some were dedicated to specific members of our pantheon. All that remains are references in ruins, and faint visions of memory in the Fade, echoes of a dead empire. But however Corypheus came to it, the orb _is_ elven, and with it he threatens the heart of human faith." she _knew_ that he was lying to her. She was certain that the information he had given her was true, but part of her knew that there was a lie laced through the explanation. He looked at her expectantly, drawing words from her mouth that she did not intend to say.

"Even if we defeat Corypheus, eventually they'll find a way to blame elves." she said. As the words spilled out, she realized that she did not mean them. She was losing her fatalistic "us versus them" mentality. But her heart fluttered when he seemed pleased by the answer. What was wrong with her?

"I suspect you are correct. It is unfortunate, but we must be above suspicion to be seen as valued allies. Faith in you is shaping this moment, but needs room to grow." he replied.

"What exactly are you getting at, Solas?" she wondered. He bent over to draw in the snow with a stick.

"By attacking the Inquisition, Corypheus has changed it. Changed _you_." he murmured as he finished his sketch. He pointed to a spot on his crude map. "Scout to the north, be their guide. There is a place that waits for a force to hold it. There is a place where the Inquisition can build... grow." She furrowed her brow at the spot on the map. It was probably about a week out from where they stood, if his map had any accuracy.

"What is it?" she asked. He looked up at her with a small smile.

"Skyhold." he answered simply. She wondered what she was getting herself into by trusting him.

* * *

One week later, she stood atop the battlements of a great fortress that was tucked away within the Frostback Mountains. Her followers commented frequently on how incredible it had been when she lead them through the snowy mountains to find this hidden fortress. They said Andraste herself had guided her there. They would never believe she had received directions from a fellow elf. Whatever they thought, they were grateful to her, and were less worried about the fact that she was Dalish. She turned and went back down to the main courtyard, where people were constantly bustling about. Cassandra was there, and waved her over.

"They arrive daily from every settlement in the region. Skyhold is becoming a pilgrimage." she commented before heading up the stairs. Ellana followed, listening intently. "If word has reached these people, it will have reached the Elder One. We have the walls and numbers to put up a fight here, but the threat is far beyond the war we had anticipated. But we now know what allowed you to stand against Corypheus, what drew him to you." Ellana frowned down at her palm.

"He came for this, and now it's useless to him, so he wants me dead. That's it." she reiterated for what felt like the thousandth time. Everyone was still convinced that she was some sort of holy figure. Cassandra smiled wryly, a strange expression for her generally stern features.

"The Anchor has power, but it's not why you're still standing here." she commented. The woman continued to climb the stairs, and Ellana wondered what she was getting at. "Your decisions let us heal the sky. Your determination brought us out of Haven. _You_ are that creature's rival because of what _you_ did. And we know it, all of us." Leliana was standing atop the staircase holding an ornate golden sword across her palms. It was obviously ornamental, as such a garish weapon would probably be useless in the field. It was then that Ellana realized the bustle of the courtyard had stopped and everyone was staring up at them.

"What is-" she began to ask.

"The Inquisition requires a leader: the one who has already been leading it. You." Cassandra interrupted. Ellana gaped at her before gaping down at the people below. Everyone was staring at her with so much hope, and she felt the sudden weight of their combined expectations resting on her shoulders. She saw Cullen wink at her as Josephine beamed in excitement. Were they all completely bloody insane?

"You're offering this to an elf? Are you quite sure you know what you're doing?" she exclaimed. Cassandra frowned at her in exasperation. She was like a concerned older sibling sometimes.

"I would be terrified handing this to anyone, but I believe it is the only way. They'll follow you. To them, being an elf shows how far you've risen, how it must have been by Andraste's hand." Ellana rolled her eyes. She had done all this through hard work, not divine intervention. Cassandra seemed to pick up on her mood. "What it means to you, how you lead us: that is for you alone to determine." she added. Ellana sighed and placed a hand on the ornamental sword. It was surprisingly light for something that seemed so bulky.

"I will lead us against Corypheus." she said clearly, so all could hear. "And I will be an ambassador. I'm an elf standing for Thedas. The Inquisition is for all." Murmurs of excitement shot through the crowd. Cassandra smiled softly.

"Wherever you lead us." she whispered before stepping forward. "Have the people been told?" she called to Josephine. The Antivan grinned.

"They have. And soon, the world!" she cried.

"Commander, will they follow?" Cassandra inquired. Cullen was giving Ellana that look again, the one that made her whole body feel on fire. She blushed and tried to ignore him.

"Inquisition, will you follow?" he bellowed. Cheers erupted immediately. "Will you fight?" he roared. Again, cheers of affirmation answered him. "Will we triumph?" he exclaimed. The roar of the crowd was overwhelming. She thought the sound alone would blow her off the stairs. What a sight that would have been: her tumbling to her death from their excitement. "Your leader! Your Herald! Your Inquisitor!" he cheered, his voice quickly drowned out by the jubilant yells of his peers. Ellana felt incredibly awkward and uncomfortable, but she thrust her oversized sword in the air, making the cheering even louder, impossible as that seemed. Smiles appeared on her advisors faces. They had really done it. Now they were a true Inquisition.


	14. Chapter 14

Varric paced around the battlements, waiting for the Inquisitor to arrive. He anxiously glanced back at the tower. He shouldn't have brought her here. Cassandra was going to kill him. There was literally no way he was going to talk his way out of this one. He should have just let her live her life, instead of dragging her back into the world's problems. He laughed to himself. She would have shown up eventually even if he hadn't written.

"Varric?" Ellana called. He turned and waved her over. "Where is this friend of yours?" she asked suspiciously. He knew that she knew exactly who his friend was. Even so, her large eyes widened when she saw Amathera Hawke walking down the stairs.

"Inquisitor, meet Hawke, the Champion of Kirkwall." he introduced. Thera wrinkled her nose.

"Though I don't use that title much anymore." his old friend admitted tiredly. She sounded exhausted.

"Hawke, the Inquisitor. I figured you might have some friendly advice about Corypheus. You and I did fight him, after all." he said before striding away. Hopefully this chat wouldn't bring back too many painful memories.

* * *

Ellana was awed. A hero out of legend was standing right in front of her. Thera Hawke was famous even amongst the Dalish for her deeds. It was strange to be meeting someone she had heard about in stories. Having only heard of her frightening reputation, Ellana was surprised at how beautiful she was. Tall and statuesque, she had a short fringe of white-blonde hair and silvery blue eyes. Her features were all hard angles and no soft lines, giving her an exotic look. She looked like someone who would be prized for her beauty in Orlais, but also like someone who would never go there. A frown was on her face, and by the looks of it, it was a perpetual expression.

"You've already dropped half a mountain on the bastard. I'm sure anything I can tell you pales in comparison." she said drily. Ellana shrugged.

"Oh, I don't know. You did save a city from a horde of rampaging Qunari." She quipped. Hawke rolled her eyes.

"I don't see how that really applies." she drawled. "Or is there a horde of rampaging Qunari I don't know about?" Ellana smirked.

"There's _a_ Qunari. He almost qualifies as a horde all by himself. Fortunately, he's on our side." she admitted.

"So, then. What can I tell you?" Hawke asked.

"Varric said that you fought Corypheus before." Ellana began. Hawke snorted in irritation.

"Fought and killed. The Grey Wardens were holding him, and he somehow used his connection to the darkspawn to influence them." she corrected. Varric wandered back over.

"Corypheus got into their heads, messed with their minds, turned them against each other." he added.

"If the Wardens have disappeared, they could have fallen under his control again." Thera finished urgently. She was much more stern than she would have expected of a friend of Varric's.

"If that's what happened to the Wardens, do you think we can free them?" she asked.

"It's possible, but we need to know more first." Hawke admitted. She wandered over to look into the courtyard below before speaking again. "I've got a friend in the Wardens. He was investigating something unrelated for me. His name is Alistair. The last time we spoke, he was worried about corruption in the Warden ranks. Since then, nothing." Ellana's eyes widened again. Alistair? As in, _the_ Alistair? Hero of the Fifth Blight?

"Corypheus would certainly qualify as corruption in the ranks. Did your friend disappear with them?" Varric asked, concerned. Thera shook her head.

"No. He told me he'd be hiding in an old smuggler's cave near Crestwood." she revealed. Ellana was confused.

"If you didn't know about Corypheus, what were you doing with the Wardens?" she asked. Hawke raised an eyebrow, and Varric shook his head slightly. Apparently Wardens were a touchy subject for her.

"The Templars in Kirkwall were using a strange form of lyrium. It was red. I'd hoped the Wardens could tell me more about it." she finally answered.

"Corypheus had a few Templars with him at Haven. They looked like they'd been exposed to the lyrium you describe." she continued.

"Hopefully my friend in the Wardens will know more." the archer said. Ellana nodded. She hoped so as well.

"I appreciate the help." she said gratefully. Amathera chuckled bitterly.

"I'm doing this as much for myself as for you. Corypheus is my responsibility. I thought I'd killed him before. This time, I'll make sure of it." she said. Ellana nodded, and for a long time they both just stood in an awkward silence.

"I heard you had family and friends in Kirkwall. Where are they now?" she asked to break the tension. By Varric's tiny groan, it wasn't a great line of questioning.

"I have no family left. My friends have all scattered to the winds. I know that many stayed in Kirkwall to help rebuild." the Champion answered uncomfortably.

"I'd like to know more about Anders. What was he like?" she wondered. This time Varric actually squeaked in surprise. Anger and pain flashed through Hawke's steely eyes.

"I don't know if there ever was just an Anders." she spat. "There was a voice in him, driving him towards justice for the mages, so loud that it drowned everything out. Even me." she explained.

"I heard that you two were...close." Ellana suggested. Hawke's eyes narrowed.

"We weren't just 'close'. I loved him. And he loved me. We loved each other even as I put a knife in his heart. Do not diminish what we had." she snapped. Ellana stepped back.

"That was not my intent, I apologize." she said genuinely. Hawke nodded. Ellana hesitated for a moment. "I will let the two of you catch up." she decided before heading off. She didn't want to offend the woman more.

* * *

Varric watched Ellana go. He knew she didn't mean to offend, she just had this compulsion to know everything. It was endearing, really, to see the way she lit up when she received information. He glanced at Thera. She looked tired. She had for years. But there was something new in her features. Something he couldn't quite figure out.

"What aren't you telling me, Hawke?" he asked. She looked at him, and, to his surprise, blushed.

"What are you talking about?" she asked in a horrible attempt at deflection.

"What is that twinkle in your eye?" he asked, poking her arm. She rubbed at the spot he had jabbed, and a small smile crossed her face. "Who is it?" he pushed.

"Sebastian." she admitted. His eyebrows shot up his face.

"Choir Boy!" he exclaimed. She wrinkled her nose.

"He is no Choir Boy any longer." she pointed out. Varric pretended to gag. "He was the only one who stayed with me, Varric. He wanted to make sure I was all right. There were times when I was on the point of killing myself, and he was there for me. Eventually, I realized that I loved him. I know he has loved me for nearly a decade, but I suppose I never really looked at who he was, until now." she explained. Varric grinned at the dreamy look on her face. He took one of her hands between his palms.

"I am glad you have found happiness again." he replied. She grinned at him, a rare sight. She was always so grim. It was good to see a smile on her face again.

* * *

Ellana blinked. She knew that she had just been talking to Solas, but now suddenly she was standing in the courtyard in front of Haven's chantry. Something seemed off, but she could not tell what. It was unusually quiet for once. Perhaps that was it. Solas was suddenly beside her, staring off at the Breach. The Breach? Why was it still there? Hadn't she closed that? Her memories were foggy.

"Why here?" she asked him. He smiled back at her.

"Haven is familiar. It will always be important to you." he answered. Why was he speaking as if Haven was gone?

"We talked about that already." she said, still confused.

"I sat beside you while you slept, studying the anchor." he said, glancing down at her palm. She followed his gaze and stared at the glowing mark.

"I'm glad someone was watching over me." she admitted, a slight blush coming to her cheeks.

"You were a mystery. You still are." he pointed out, sounding frustrated. She wasn't sure what she had done. "I ran every test I could imagine, searched the Fade, yet found nothing. Cassandra suspected duplicity. She threatened to have me executed as an apostate if I did not produce results." he explained. She chuckled.

"Cassandra's like that with everyone." she reminded him. He laughed, and it was a comforting sound.

"Yes." he agreed. "You were never going to wake up. How could you, a mortal sent physically through the Fade? I was frustrated, frightened. The spirits I might have consulted had been driven away by the Breach. Although I wished to help, I had no faith in Cassandra, or she in me. I was ready to flee." he told her.

"If you had, Cassandra would have been certain of your guilt, and hunted you down." she suggested. He nodded.

"You're likely right." he turned and walked toward the Breach. "I told myself, one more attempt to seal the rifts." he explained, stretching out his hand toward the chasm in the sky. "I tried and failed. No ordinary magic would affect them. I watched the rifts expand and grow, resigned myself to flee, and then..." he grabbed her hand and thrust it toward the Breach. It closed after a brief moment. Why had it been so easy? He turned to her, and she couldn't take her eyes from his face. He was livelier here, wherever they were. "It seems you hold the key to our salvation. You had sealed it with a gesture. And right then, I felt the whole world change." her heart was pounding at his words and at his touch.

"Felt the whole world change?" she breathed, barely able to make words. Her hands trembled. His face reddened.

"A figure of speech." he said, clearly trying to brush her off. She stepped closer, a boldness entering her heart.

"I'm aware of the metaphor, I'm more interested in 'felt'." she said, surprised that her voice wasn't shaking. As she stepped closer, his walls seemed to fall, and he visibly sagged.

"You change...everything." he admitted.

"Sweet talker." she murmured. They both looked away for a moment, before her boldness took control of her. Suddenly she had her hand on his cheek and her lips pressed against his. It was exhilarating, but she also couldn't shake the feeling that she was doing something wrong. She broke the kiss as the thought came into consciousness and began to turn away. Solas grabbed her arm and pulled her back, kissing her more fiercely than she had ever been kissed. She let out a slight whimper. It had been a long time since she had kissed a man. Eventually he pulled away.

"We shouldn't." he worried. "It isn't right. Not even here." She frowned.

"What do you mean 'even here'?" she asked, still breathless from the kissing.

"Where did you think we were?" he wondered. She looked around, and memories came pouring in.

"This isn't real..." she muttered. Solas laughed.

"That's a matter of debate...probably best discussed after you...wake up."

* * *

She shot up in her bed, panting as if she had been sprinting across Skyhold. Immediately she leaped out of bed and ran downstairs to find Solas. He was in his usual place in the rotunda, wearing a small grin.

"Sleep well?" he asked, eying her up and down. She realized that she was only wearing a shift, but she refused to be embarrassed. She straightened and looked at him levelly.

"I've never done anything like that before. On a number of levels." she replied, not only referring to the Fade aspect of the situation. He chuckled.

"I apologize. The kiss was impulsive and...ill considered, and I should not have encouraged it." he said. She frowned. Why was he playing with her like this? He had her feelings all jumbled like a kitten's ball of yarn.

"You say that, but you're the one who started with tongue." she accused. He gaped indignantly at her.

"I did no such thing!" he retorted. She was being sarcastic, but she was also a little angry about the situation.

"Oh, does it not count if it's only Fade tongue?" she drawled. He was frowning too, but then his face softened.

"It has been a long time. And things have always been...easier...in the Fade. I am not certain that this is the best idea. It could lead to trouble." he pointed out. She sighed. Part of her agreed with him, but she also had a stubborn desire to see things through.

"I'm willing to take that chance." she declared. "If you are." she added in a small voice.

"I...maybe...yes. If I could take a little time to think. There are...considerations." he stammered. She had never seen him so off balance.

"Take all the time you need." she told him. He took a deep breath.

"Thank you. I am not often thrown by things that happen in dreams. But I am reasonably certain we are awake now, and if you wish to discuss anything, I would enjoy talking." he decided. She smiled softly at him and went back to bed without a word. The next morning, she wondered why she had spent the entire night dreaming about Cullen.

* * *

"The kiss was impulsive..." he heard Solas say. His heart dropped to his stomach. They had kissed? Cullen wanted to shout. He could barely focus, but he heard Solas saying they should not continue whatever it was they had.

"Listen to him." he whispered to himself. He had just gotten her back in his life, he did not want to lose her to Solas. His heart broke further as he eavesdropped.

"I'm willing to take that chance, if you are." Ellana said quietly. _No, no, no, no, no, no, no._

"I...maybe...yes." was all he heard before leaving. He had lost her already.

"No. There is always a chance." he told himself. He wouldn't let her go that easily. She would know how he felt about her. He just needed to gather the courage to tell her. As he had said before, he would be there when Solas hurt her.


	15. Chapter 15

As her followers organized a way to get both to Crestwood and to the Winter Palace, Ellana and her followers began aiding people across Orlais and Ferelden. News was coming from the Emerald Graves, Emprise du Lion, the Western Approach. All were plagued by rifts and a multitude of other problems that she apparently had to solve. Now she stood in the Exalted Plains, a fancy name for a massive, war-torn burial ground. Solas had asked for her help on their way to the Emerald Graves the night before, and they had changed their plans to aid him. One of his friends was in danger here. They, along with Iron Bull and Dorian, marched out to where he said his friend could be found. Her eyes widened when she saw what awaited them, and Solas gasped in shock.

"My friend!" he breathed. A massive creature crouched in the center of a summoning circle. Its hide was covered in rough spikes, and a pair of giant horns curled on the top of its head.

"The mages turned your friend into a demon." she said sadly. He looked at her, pain openly on his face.

"Yes." he growled.

"You said it was a spirit of wisdom, not a fighter." she pointed out.

"A spirit becomes a demon when denied its original purpose." he explained.

"So they summoned it for something so opposed to its own nature that it was corrupted. Fighting?" she suggested. A mage appeared from nearby, hesitantly approaching.

"Let us ask them." Solas gestured furiously at the man.

"A mage! You're not with the bandits?" the mage cried. Ellana glowered at him. Summoning a spirit was never a good idea. "Do you have any lyrium potions? Most of us are exhausted, we've been fighting that demon!" he exclaimed.

"You _summoned_ that demon! Except it was a spirit of wisdom at the time!" Solas roared. She had never seen him so angry. "You made it kill! You twisted it against its purpose!" Ellana nodded in agreement.

"I-I-I understand how it might be confusing to someone who has not studied demons, but after you help us, I can..." the mage stammered.

"We're not here to help _you_." Solas growled.

"Word of advice? I'd hold off on explaining how demons work to my friend here." Ellana suggested.

"Listen to me! I was one of the foremost experts in the Kirkwall Circle-" the mage recited.

"Shut. Up." Solas hissed. "You summoned it to protect you from the bandits." he revealed.

"I...yes." the mage whimpered.

"You bound it to obedience, then commanded it to kill. _That_ is when it turned." Solas spat. He looked at her, and she felt an overwhelming urge to help him. "The summoning circle. We break it, we break the binding. No orders to kill, no conflict with its nature, no demon." he decided. That sounded a bit insane, but she was blind in her need to help him.

"What? That binding is the only thing keeping it from killing us! Whatever it was before, it is a monster now!" the man whined.

"Inquisitor, please!" Solas begged.

"I've studied rituals like this. I should be able to disrupt the binding quickly." she said, striding over to the circle.

"We must hurry!" Solas shouted as he raced to join her. The four of them quickly struck down the circle, trying to dodge attacks from the Pride Demon at the same time. When they finished, the demon shrank down until it appeared to be an elven woman.

" _Lethallin, ir abelas._ " Solas murmured. He was apologizing to her. Ellana shook her head. He shouldn't, it wasn't his fault.

" _Tel'abelas._ _Ir tel'him._ _Ma melava halani._ _Mala suledin nadas._ _Ma ghilana mir din'an."_ the spirit said.

"What does that mean?" Dorian whispered.

"I am not sorry, I am myself again. You helped me, now you must endure. Guide me into death." Ellana murmured back, sorrow filling her. Solas was looking down at the grass now.

" _Ma nuvenin."_ he said quietly before raising his hands. The elven apparition vanished, and Ellana could see the heartbreak on his face. " _Dareth shiral."_ She approached him hesitantly.

"I heard what it said. It was right. You did help it." she told him softly.

"Now I must endure." he finished.

"Let me know if I can help, Solas." she offered. He did not look at her.

"You already have. All that remains now is _them_." he pointed at the mages. Ellana couldn't move or speak. She needed to stop him, but it was as if someone had frozen her. She didn't want him to kill them, but something made her keep her mouth shut. The others seemed equally paralyzed. What was going on?

"Thank you, we would not have risked a summoning, but the roads are too dangerous to travel unprotected." the doughy mage said. She wanted to scream at him to run, but she couldn't.

"You tortured and killed my friend." Solas replied through gritted teeth.

"We didn't know it was just a spirit, the book said it could help us." the leader cried with a frantic glance at her. She knew that her eyes were wide open as if she had already witnessed the horror that was about to happen. She was breathing so quickly. The three mages erupted in flame, their screams dying out before they really started.

"Damn them all! I need some time alone. I will see you back at Skyhold." Solas cried in anguish. He left the three of them alone with the bodies. Finally she could move again. Her limbs did not feel like part of a statue. She turned to see Bull and Dorian looking equally horrified.

"What was that? I couldn't move, but there was no magic being used." Dorian exclaimed. She shook her head. She didn't know any more than he did. Once she wouldn't have cared that a few shems were killed, but now she was full of guilt for not stopping him. In allowing it to happen, she was complicit.

"We should go back to Skyhold." she said. She wanted no more of this place.

* * *

Nearly a week had passed and she still hadn't seen Solas. He needed time, and she understood that. He had lost a friend. The Gods knew she had taken time away from the world when she had lost Mahanon. She stood in the courtyard, watching Cullen give orders to his men. He smiled when he saw her. He always did. He was another set of strings in her tangle of emotions. She involuntarily walked over to him.

"We set up as best we could at Haven, but could never prepare for an archdemon, or whatever it was. With some warning, we might've..." he said softly.

"Do you ever sleep?" she questioned. His reaction was exactly what she wanted: another smile. Her heart fluttered at the sight. Why was this happening? Why did she want to make him smile all the time? Solas rarely smiled.

"I don't have time for that. If Corypheus strikes again we may not be able to withdraw, and I wouldn't want to. We must be ready. Work on Skyhold is underway. Guard rotations have been established. We should have everything on course within the week. We will not run from here, Ellana." he promised.

"How many were lost?" she asked, noting the fact that he never used her title, but always called her by her name. It was something she liked about him. She had been addressed by her title as long as she could remember. Before Inquisitor, it was Herald. Before Herald, it was First. In her own clan, usually only Mahanon had called her Ellana.

"Most of our people made it to Skyhold. It could've been worse. Morale was low, but it's improved greatly since you accepted the role of Inquisitor." he pointed out. She bit the inside of her cheek.

"It sounds a bit odd, doesn't it?" she asked somewhat nervously.

"Not at all." he replied without any hesitation.

"Is that the official answer?" she asked. He laughed, bringing a smile to her face. His laugh was full and comforting. Somehow it made her feel safe.

"I suppose it is. But it is also my answer. We needed a leader, and you have long since proven yourself. I wouldn't follow anyone else." he admitted. She blushed slightly as they stood in silence.

"Our escape from Haven...it was close. I'm relieved that you...that so many made it out." she said, that bold spirit taking hold of her again as it had in the Fade with Solas.

"As am I." he murmured. His expression became serious, and she turned to leave. "You stayed behind." his voice said, effectively stopping her. She felt his hand touch her arm to turn her back. "You could have...I will not allow the events of Haven to happen again. You have my word." he promised. She smiled softly at him and walked away, freezing when she saw Solas entering the courtyard. Immediately she went to him, relief crashing over her.

"Inquisitor." he greeted.

"How are you, Solas?" she wondered. He shrugged.

"It hurts. It always does. But I will survive." he answered.

"Thank you for coming back." she added.

"You were a true friend. You did everything you could to help. I could hardly abandon you now." he murmured. The word friend rang in her ears. She did not appreciate it.

"The next time you have to mourn, you don't need to be alone." she said, her tone slightly argumentative.

"It's been so long since I could trust someone." he admitted.

"I understand." she agreed.

"I'll work on it. And thank you." he said. For a while they just stood there while people bustled about them. "I was actually...do you have a moment?" he asked. She nodded, and he began heading up the stairs. She followed, missing the pained glance that Cullen gave her. Solas led her up to her rooms, and they stood together on the balcony. He leaned against the stone and looked at her. "What were you like? Before the Anchor?" he asked. She frowned. "Has it affected you? Changed you in any way? Your mind, your morals, your...spirit?" he probed. She shook her head. She was essentially the same person now that she had been before Mahanon died. Solas did not know about him, and for some reason she did not want him to. She thought that the only thing that had changed who she was had been the people she had grown to care for, here.

"I don't believe so." she answered truthfully.

"Ah." he replied.

"Why do you ask?" she wondered.

"You show a wisdom I have not seen since...Since my deepest journeys into the ancient memories of the Fade." he said. She felt, as she had before, that there was a lie laced through his words, but she could not determine what it was. "You are not what I expected." She frowned again.

"Sorry to disappoint." she commented sarcastically. He growled in frustration.

"It's not disappointing it's...Most people are predictable. You have shown subtlety in your actions. A wisdom that goes against everything I have expected. If the Dalish could raise someone with a spirit like yours, could I have misjudged them?" he inquired. The last eight years had been difficult with her clan. They had become less of a family to her and more of a painful reminder. Yet, she still cared about them and their ways.

"I don't hold the Dalish up as perfect, but we have something worth honoring. A memory of the ancient ways." she finally decided.

"Perhaps that is it. I suppose it must be. Most people act with so little understanding of the world. But not you." he whispered. She frowned. He was just starting to confuse her. As always.

"So what does this mean, Solas?" she asked. He smiled slightly.

"It means I have not forgotten the kiss." he murmured. She felt a rush of heat through her body. She hadn't noticed how close they were standing until this moment.

"Good." she finally said. He leaned close, she could feel his breath on her face, but then he shook his head and turned to leave. "Don't go." she pleaded, hating how she sounded like she was begging. She realized that she was. She needed him. She grabbed his arm and he tensed.

"It would be kinder in the long run." he breathed. "But losing you would..." he began before turning and kissing her soundly. She threw her arms around his shoulders, kissing back with sudden intensity. Only one small part of her didn't feel right, but she ignored it. She was in love. She could say it again. He finally pulled away from her after an eternity.

"We can see where this goes. _Ar lath, ma vhenan._ " he murmured before slipping away. She watched him go with a smile on her face. Love had found its way into her life again.


	16. Chapter 16

He was trembling. It wasn't just the lyrium, today, though that was a factor. He had seen Solas leaving her quarters, sneaking out and trying to remain unseen. It had shattered his heart. He stared down at the apparatus before him. It called to him, sang to him. Maybe if he just took it, it would blind him enough that he wouldn't have to think about her. Maybe it would make the nightmares stop. He squeezed his eyes shut as he closed the lid. The thin wooden barrier was little comfort, but not being able to see it helped. His breath shuddered. He did not want to even begin thinking about what had happened in her quarters the night before. He had been hoping the man would just stay gone, but naturally his hopes were dashed. He could feel sweat dripping into his eyes. Focus.

"Don't think about her." he muttered to himself.

"Think about who?" a lilting voice asked from the doorway. He jumped away from the table. He hadn't even heard her enter. Ellana grinned at him. "I did not mean to startle you." her grin faded as she saw his expression. "Cullen, is everything all right?" she asked, stepping closer. She was by his side before he could blink. He straightened and wiped the sweat from his forehead. Her large eyes were so full of concern that he didn't even consider lying to her.

"As leader of the Inquisition, you...There's something I must tell you." he began. She frowned.

"Whatever it is, you know I'm always willing to listen." she assured him. Even when he knew she had chosen the other man, he couldn't stop loving her.

"Right, thank you." knowing her history with Templars, he was uncertain of how he should begin. "Lyrium grants Templars their abilities, but it controls us as well." the panic he had expected to see in her delicate features was not there, and he felt a surge of gratitude for it. "Those cut off suffer. Some go mad, others die. We have secured a reliable source of lyrium for the Templars here. But I...no longer take it." he finished. Cullen stared at the table, waiting for her reaction.

"You stopped?" she asked after a moment. He nodded.

"When I joined the Inquisition. It's been months now." he admitted. Suddenly she was right in front of him, her slim hand gripping his arm.

"Cullen, if this could kill you..." she whispered, trailing off as her imagination took over.

"It hasn't yet. After what happened in Kirkwall, I couldn't..." he murmured. He raised his head, looking her in the eye for the first time since she had come in. "I will not be bound to the Order, or that life, any longer. Whatever the suffering, I accept it. But I would not put the Inquisition at risk. I've asked Cassandra to watch me. If my ability to lead is compromised, I will be relieved from duty." That determined fire that so often lit up her eyes returned.

"Are you in pain?" she asked softly.

"I can endure it." he said, only half lying. She nodded, but it looked as though she didn't believe him. He almost smiled at how well she knew him.

"Thank you for telling me, Cullen. I respect your decision. I admire your bravery." she said in support.

"Thank you, Ellana." he replied. "The Inquisition's army must take priority. Should anything happen...I will defer to Cassandra's judgment." he promised. She nodded.

"You can do this, Cullen. I believe in you." she answered before turning and leaving him alone in his office. He chuckled to himself as the door closed behind her. If only he had such faith in himself. He shook his head, and a new determination to earn her love gripped his heart. She _would_ know that he was an option. He would make sure of it.

* * *

Ellana stood on the battlements for a time, confused by her own heart. She was surprised at what Cullen had told her, but he had her full support. She admired him for what he was doing. All of that had been true. The thing that gave her pause was Cullen himself. She had finally found love again with Solas, but some part of her still held on to her blossoming feelings for the Commander. Her intent had been to talk with him about her confusion, but when she saw the pain in his face all thoughts of that had faded.

"He has enough on his plate right now without me telling him that I can't get him out of my bloody head." she muttered.

"Ooh, such language." a voice said from nearby. Ellana turned to see the mage, Dorian, leaning against the wall not far from where she stood.

"I didn't see you." she said hesitantly, not really wanting to socialize with the Tevinter.

"Well I saw you, and I heard what you just said. Naughty girl, aren't you? A puppet master making two men dance for her entertainment." he admonished, making a clicking sound with his tongue. She glared at him.

"It isn't like that." she snapped. His smile widened.

"Isn't it? You play kissing games with the egg and lead our Commander around by the nose on a daily basis. Tell me, exactly, how it 'isn't like that'?" he pointed out. Even though he was driving her crazy, he wasn't wrong.

"I have no idea how to handle this kind of situation! What if I love both of them? How does anyone do that? What is wrong with me? I'm a terrible person!" she ranted. Dorian laughed.

"I don't think anyone knows how to do that. And I don't think you're horrible, I just wanted you to admit it to someone other than yourself, really. I know this won't help your situation, but they both love you too." he quipped. She snorted.

"How could you possibly know that?" she asked. He laughed again.

"I was the one who had to shoo both of them away from your sickbed in the mountains. I thought they were going to rip my head off when I told them to leave." he commented.

"Why did you tell them to leave?" she wondered.

"All the tension they were creating would have awakened you far too early. I didn't help heal you just to have you die on me." he replied irritably. She stared off at the mountains that surrounded her fortress. This man was certainly odd.

"Why do you care?" she asked suddenly. She turned to look at him. "Why does it matter to you?" Dorian arched an eyebrow at her and rubbed a hand against his chin.

"Because _you_ are the only thing standing between the world and Corypheus. You are our only hope, Inquisitor, and I'd rather help you figure out your personal life now than have you distracted by it in a crucial moment later. I also, ugh, I hate admitting things like this, but I also find you endearing." he admitted. She studied him, surprised that he seemed completely genuine in what he was saying. She hadn't ever thought a Tevinter mage could be genuine.

"All right." she said simply.

"All right? That's all you have to say? I bare my soul to you and you say 'All right?'" he asked. She laughed.

"Yes. But before you go around giving me personal advice, I think we should probably get to know each other." she pointed out. He nodded and looked out across the landscape with her. They were silent for a very long time, and she was starting to wonder if he had forgotten her presence.

"So I take it you're...Dalish? Is that the correct word here?" he asked suddenly. She glanced at him.

"It's the correct word everywhere." she answered drily. He snorted.

"We...don't have Dalish clans coming northward...for obvious reasons. So I've never met one of your people before, although I've heard about them...a little. I hope this won't be an issue between us, since I'm here to help you fight the Venatori and all." he admitted. She paused, realizing that he wasn't really that bad. A little too sassy, but that wasn't really a flaw.

"I'm grateful for your help." she agreed. He flashed a smile.

"Excellent! Mutual appreciation is a grand way to begin." he cheered. She chuckled, but her smile faded as his face grew solemn. "Roderick, that Chantry fellow who got us out of Haven. You know he died, I assume. Got us as far as the camp and then, that was it." he said. Ellana frowned. Roderick had been nothing but cruel to her from day one, but he had sacrificed his life to save the people. She wasn't sure what to make of him.

"I had heard." she answered hesitantly.

"I helped him walk. He...talked about you quite a bit. He just wanted to be sure you were Andraste's chosen. He was terrified of what it meant, if it were true. But in the end, he believed. He asked me to tell you he was sorry. Apparently he didn't treat you very well, and he wanted to make amends before he passed." he explained. She nodded slowly.

"Thank you for letting me know." she said. She stared down at her feet for a while, unsure of how to proceed. "So tell me about yourself. I hardly know anything about you." she reminded him.

"Aside from my being so charming and well-dressed? Which is obvious to anyone, really." he teased. She laughed.

"It _is_ quite obvious." she agreed. He flashed another perfect smile at her.

"I am the scion of House Pavus, a product of generations of careful breeding, and the repository of its hopes and dreams. Naturally, I despised it all: The lies, the scheming, the illusions of supremacy. That's Tevinter in a nutshell, isn't it? Needless to say, my family was not happy with my choices." he revealed. She arched an eyebrow.

"Generations of careful breeding?" she queried. He scoffed, a displeased frown appearing on his face.

"The great families of Tevinter do _not_ have children. They refine traits, weed out the undesirable, and promote the rest. My mother was chosen for my father because magic runs strongly in her blood. Never mind that they loathed each other. They wanted a son that could become Archon, to make House Pavus the envy of the Imperium. They got me. A cautionary tale that you should be careful what you wish for." he spat. She frowned.

"You sound as if you do not care much for your country, but I think your passion about it shows how much you really do care." she suggested. He laughed delightedly.

"No one has ever figured me out so quickly! I care for Tevinter a great deal. We have so much potential." he sighed. "Sadly, we squander it. We refuse to acknowledge how far we've fallen because pretending is easier. We _pretend_ the Qunari can be beaten. We _pretend_ that we're superior to everyone, even our own people. Not everyone feels that way. I don't. Sadly, we're in the minority." Ellana nodded in understanding.

"Do you plan on going back to Tevinter soon?" she wondered. He snorted.

"I'm not exactly welcome back home. Not that it matters. I'm quite accustomed to being a pariah. It adds to my charm. I can do more for Tevinter here. If the Venatori succeed, it'll set my homeland back a thousand years. I'm sure some magisters would disagree, but that's why we kill them." she smiled. His sense of humor was refreshing. He smiled back. "Now, as much as I love talking about me, you've told me nothing about you. Where did you grow up? How did a Dalish elf become the leader of the Inquisition?" he prodded.

"My clan spent most of our time in the Free Marches. I was sent to the Conclave by my Keeper, Deshanna, to...spy, really. She had an interest in what the shems were discussing because she knew that it would have an effect on our people." she explained. He studied her for a moment.

"And I am assuming you are not as young as you look?" he wondered. She chuckled.

"Apparently I am much older than I look." she quipped.

"I just thought it would be strange to send a teenager as a spy." he answered hesitantly. She snorted.

"I'm thirty, Dorian." she drawled. He gasped in a teasing sort of shock.

"Thirty! Maker's breath, you're practically my grandmother!" he wailed. She rolled her eyes.

"Is that so?" she asked, playing along. He shrugged.

"Unlikely, since I am also thirty, but a man can dream." he crooned. She snickered. He was very strange. "Tell me about your family. You must have one." She froze. He had hit upon the one thing she couldn't talk about. The one thing she couldn't even tell Solas.

 _"You told Cullen."_ she thought. She shook her head.

"I can't talk about that, I'm sorry." she said, immediately running off.

"Wait!" she heard behind her. She ignored him and kept running. It was obvious that her reaction would bring up more questions later, but she didn't care. She had too much to think about to dredge up her past with Dorian.


	17. Chapter 17

Ellana exhaled loudly as she studied the mountains of paperwork that sat on her desk. Sometimes it felt like she was drowning in it. None of the stories she had read had ever mentioned how much paperwork was involved with being in charge of an organization like the Inquisition. They only talked about the heroic deeds and wild battles. They never went over...she wrinkled her nose...potato shortages? She huffed and pushed herself away from her desk.

"By the Dread Wolf, am I really spending my day worrying about bloody potatoes?" she shouted to her empty room. She wandered over to the balcony and closed her eyes against the cool breeze that constantly surrounded the fortress. For a moment, she felt a pang of desire for Keeper Deshanna to be there. Deshanna Istimaethoriel Lavellan was very good at keeping her people organized. "A good Keeper takes the details and problems of _every_ clan member into account, _da'len_." Ellana mimicked. Her Keeper had been correct, of course. If Deshanna had only focused on the hunters and ignored the craftsmen, or any other combination of people, Clan Lavellan would have fallen apart long ago. With a sigh, she turned back into her room and sat at the desk and read Josephine's letter quickly.

"Potato shortage...can request aid from Lady Clemont...however, demands...an autograph? Mythal's blessing, are all shems this insane?" she mused.

"I don't know about all of us, but certainly a large handful." a voice said from the stairwell. She nearly jumped out of her seat when she saw Cullen across the room. "I didn't mean to startle you." he said, reminiscent of what she had told him a few days prior. She blinked a few times before shaking her head.

"I didn't hear you come in." she admitted. The look on his face told her that he knew she was giving him the highest of compliments. His smile warmed her in a way that she wasn't sure it should. She had spent the last few days avoiding him. Avoiding everyone, really. She had tried to find Solas a few times, but he was elusive as ever, and so she locked herself away in her room. It had been nice, actually. It gave her time to clear her head and think about what she was feeling. She still hadn't decided what she was going to do, but she had at least fleshed out her choices a bit more.

She loved Solas. He was wise and witty, always quick to defend those who needed it. He had a passion that drew her to him, and a mysterious nature that kept her intrigued. He was of her own people, even though he acted as if he wasn't, and he had seen places and events that she could only dream of. However, his elusive nature made her unable to trust him. She knew that was important to a relationship, but she was so enamored with him that, sometimes, she didn't care.

And yet, she was starting to think that she loved Cullen too. He was kind and gentle, and he only wanted what was best for her. He was a shoulder to cry on, an ear to listen, and he was always there for her, whatever she needed. He was human, and she was an elf, and she found that neither of them cared about that. He was a former templar, and she was a mage, and even that hadn't put a rift between them. He always tried to make her smile. She trusted him completely. She sighed quietly. She had no idea what to do about them.

"I thought you might be hungry?" Cullen said, revealing a basket full of food in his hands. She heard her stomach rumble at the sight of it. "I'd heard you haven't really left your quarters for a few days, and the servants said you've been eating little." She smiled sheepishly. He wasn't wrong.

"That's...very kind of you." she answered. He walked over to her desk and cleared some room before gesturing to her stack of reports.

"Do you need any help with those?" he asked. She shrugged.

"Not really. I'm sure you have your own pile to deal with." she pointed out. He laughed.

"This is true." he agreed. He glanced over at a chess table that she had never touched. "Fancy a game? It must be better than reading Josephine's reports all day." she grinned.

"I don't know how to play." she admitted. He stood and dragged an end table to the chess board, then set the food on top of that instead.

"I'll teach you!" he exclaimed excitedly. His enthusiasm made her unable to turn him down. She joined him at the board, and ate quietly as he explained the rules. It was not terribly difficult, and she could see why he enjoyed it so much. It was very much a game of strategy, and as a battle commander it would make him feel right at home. "As a child, I played this with my sister. She would get this stuck-up grin whenever she won...which was _all_ the time. My brother and I practiced together for weeks. The look on her face the day I finally won...Between serving the Templars and the Inquisition, I haven't seen them in years. I wonder if she still plays." he mused.

"You have siblings?" she asked. He smiled fondly.

"Two sisters and a brother." he explained.

"Where are they now?" she asked, moving a piece on the board.

"They moved to South Reach, in Ferelden, after the Blight. I do not write as often as I should." he admitted.

"Why is that?" she queried. He shrugged.

"Sometimes life gets too hard to find time for things like that. My oldest sister, Mia, always finds me though. I received a letter from her not long ago. She wasn't too pleased that I hadn't told her I'd survived Haven. But I knew she would figure it out eventually." he said.

"I'm glad she found you." she replied. He nodded in agreement as he moved a piece.

"What about you? Do you have any siblings?" he asked. The panic that had overtaken her when Dorian had asked about her family days prior did not surface with Cullen. She shook her head.

"I was an only child." she said.

"What were your parents like?" he asked. She smiled sadly.

"My father died just after I was born. I do not know much about him. My mother was a huntress in our clan. She was one of the most respected members of Clan Lavellan. She passed away of a wasting sickness when I was thirteen. She was always so fierce and brave." she described.

"Traits she passed to her daughter." he commented. She beamed at the compliment. Being compared to her mother was the highest form of praise in her eyes.

"Thank you. She was always so compassionate and willing to help everyone as well. It was my mother that brought...that brought Mahanon to our clan." she finished, voice trembling at the end. He nodded slowly.

"And Mahanon was your...bond mate?" he asked carefully. She nodded. "Tell me about him." he requested. She took a deep breath, but everything just spilled out.

"He was from another clan, originally. His parents were killed when he was seven, and his clan didn't have the resources to take care of him. A couple in my clan had recently lost a child, so they agreed to take him in. I was five years old at the time, and I remember being distinctly displeased by the disruption to my life." she reminisced fondly. "I thought I loathed him for most of my life, although at some point I realized he was really my only friend. I don't know if you noticed, but my personality can be a bit abrasive at times, and I did not get along with the other children. Anyway, we competed against each other for everything throughout childhood. But even though I told myself he was not my friend, I was incredibly defensive of him. I remember once, some of the older boys were picking on him, calling him a flat-ear and such, and I just attacked them. I was ten at the time. I remember Mahanon was just laughing like a madman the entire fight. My mother was the one who stopped all of us. That day, that silly boy told me he was going to bond me one day, and I slapped him."

"You hit him?" Cullen asked. She nodded, chuckling to herself.

"As hard as I could. I thought he was being an idiot. He told me later that he knew from the moment we met that I had stolen his heart. When I was thirteen, and Mamae died, I lost it. That was when my magic showed up. I was a bit of a late bloomer, there."

"What did you do?" he wondered. She shrugged.

"I lit an aravel on fire. Everyone was all right, but I thought they were going to throw me out, so I ran away. Mahanon chased after me, and we just cried for hours. Keeper Deshanna found us and told me she wanted me to be her First, her apprentice, and that she would teach me all she knew. I was mostly relieved that I wouldn't have to leave Mahanon, because that is when I realized he was my only friend. It was a few years later when I was sixteen that we went through the bonding ceremony. We had six years together, working our way up through the ranks of our people and loving one another. And then we found out we were going to be parents. And then...then it was all gone." she finished. Cullen touched her hand.

"You still love him, after all this time." he said. It wasn't a question, but she nodded anyway.

"I always will. You're a lot like him, you know. You always try to make me smile." she said, tears rolling down her cheeks. He moved his chair closer and wiped the tear away, hand lingering on her face.

"It is a goal I would spend my life doing." he admitted. Her breath caught.

"Cullen, I-" she began.

"I know, Ellana. You chose Solas, and for now, there isn't much I can do about that. But I couldn't just stand by without telling you that..." he trailed off.

"That what?" she breathed.

"I...care for you. Deeply. I'm quite certain I even love you, if that's possible in as short a time as we've known one another. And even though it will kill me to see you with him, if he is what makes you happy I will gladly endure the pain. But if he doesn't, I will be here, waiting for you, even if I am your second choice." he admitted. She was stunned, and tears just continued to flow down her face. She was only mildly surprised when he leaned in and kissed her. It was sweet, and tender, and genuine, just like the man giving it. She tangled her fingers in his hair as she kissed him back. The kiss lasted forever, and not long enough. It seemed like a goodbye. When he pulled away, his eyes shone with unshed tears. He didn't say a word, but left her alone, staring after him with tears streaming down her cheeks. When she heard a knock on the door to her quarters, she hurriedly scrubbed away the tears and re-sat herself at the desk.

"Come in." she called. Of course, it was Solas who appeared atop the stairs.

"I heard you had been looking for me. I apologize, I went out into the wilderness to clear my head." he revealed. She tilted her head.

"Was something troubling you?" she asked. His smile was mischievous.

"I simply could not get you off my mind, Inquisitor." he admitted. She smiled back, although it seemed a bit forced.

"Is that so?" she said. He nodded, stepping closer and stroking his hand under her chin.

"Of course. Have you been crying?" he asked. She shrugged.

"I...I haven't really had the time to absorb everything that has happened since Haven. I suppose it just hit me." she lied. He didn't seem to notice. She felt guilty for lying to him.

"I should have been here for you. I should have comforted you." he replied, sounding guilty himself. She shook her head.

"You're here now, Solas." she murmured. He kissed her forehead with a smile.

"And I am willing to comfort you in any way you wish." he breathed back. Part of her resisted when he started kissing her, his hands roaming over her body, exploring her as he never had. But then her need for him took over, and she began exploring him just as fiercely. She wasn't sure how they had gotten to her bed. She barely remembered tearing off his shirt, or him removing hers. They lost themselves in each other that night, and for a time, they were the only two people that mattered. It wasn't until after, when Solas lay sleeping with an arm draped over her waist, that thoughts of Cullen's words and kiss returned to her mind. She did not sleep well that night.


	18. Chapter 18

Of all the places she had been in Ferelden, Crestwood was not her favorite. That might have had something to do with the fact that it was overrun with walking corpses, but she couldn't be certain. They had already drained the lake, and had just battled their way through a horde of demons in an underwater cave. She yanked her hand away from the rift with a loud pop. Her scowl faded when Solas smiled at her, however. Her cheeks warmed at the memory of their nights together.

"Let's get out of this place, shall we?" she asked, her voice breaking a little. Dorian blinked at her.

"What is wrong with you?" he asked as he sidled up beside her. She arched a confused eyebrow at him.

"What do you mean? I feel fine." she answered. He snorted.

"That's what I'm talking about. Where is your scowl? Why are you blushing so much?" his voice changed to a harsh whisper, "Did you have sex?" She yelped in surprise.

"How could you...how did you know that?" she hissed. Dorian was still staring at her, a smug grin on his face.

"You're swaggering. And then you keep getting this guilty look on your pretty little face." he replied. Her mouth opened to protest, but he put a finger on her lips. "Hush. I know that the guilty part is due to...other parties. So the swagger can only mean sex. I hope it was at least good. Sera says she bets he yells out 'Elven glory!' when he finishes. I'm not going to judge. Although, I'd watch him if I were you. I don't trust him." he murmured before leaving her alone. She frowned. That had been unexpected. She glanced over at Solas and gave him a slightly uneasy smile. Why would Dorian not trust him? He hadn't done anything to make himself untrustworthy to the man.

 _"_ _He does hide the truth a lot._ _Maybe he noticed already._ _"_ she thought to herself. She shook her head. No. Solas loved her and she loved him. A man she barely knew wasn't going to plant doubt in her head. Finally they emerged from the leaky tunnel and made their way back to the small village. Already, the murky gloom that had hovered over Crestwood was gone, and the sun shone brightly across the landscape. It certainly improved the location. The townspeople cheered as they passed through, and Ellana frowned when she noticed there was a commotion near the mayor's home.

"He's gone! Left in the middle of the night! Why would he abandon us?" one person cried. Ellana angrily shoved her way through the throng and pushed open the door to his house. A letter sat on his desk that furrowed her brow.

"What is that?" Solas asked. She looked up at him, frown still in place.

"It says the mayor was the one who flooded Old Crestwood ten years ago, to stop the Blight from spreading." she said, fury filling her.

"To prevent the spread of corruption to the rest of his people. It was not the worst outcome." Solas replied. Ellana did not want to look at him. Her mind was racing.

"They were innocent people, Solas." she answered quietly. He placed a hand on her shoulder.

"Sometimes a few innocent people must fall to preserve the many." he said before walking out of the house. Her mouth was working, but she couldn't say anything. Dorian whistled from the corner.

"Well now, that was something, wasn't it. Very Tevinter of him." the tall man said. She closed her mouth and scowled at him.

"No, he must have an explanation for...for that." she argued. He chuckled.

"Make excuses all you want, my dear. Even I know that was an awful thing to say." he pointed out. She opened her mouth to respond before promptly shutting it again.

"Let's just go find Hawke and her friend." she answered glumly. Their trek out to the cave was silent. Solas did not seem to be aware that he had said anything to upset her, and Dorian was clearly smart enough to keep his mouth shut. Ellana's mind raced, trying to find a scenario in which Solas' words made sense, but she couldn't. Dorian was right, his words did sound very "Tevinter". She was startled when the blonde beauty stepped out from behind a rock.

"Good, you're here. Alistair should be inside." Hawke said briskly, turning on her heel and leading them inside. Ellana glanced at Varric, who shrugged. She followed her in, struggling to keep up with the much taller woman's strides. She entered the cavern and looked around, seeing a lit torch near a table that was covered in maps. She wrinkled her nose at a smell that was coming from a nearby cook pot, and she knew she did not want to know what was inside it. As she looked around, she was surprised to feel a blade press against her throat. "It's just us! I brought the Inquisitor." Hawke explained. The cool metal disappeared from her neck, and she raised a hand to feel the slightest drop of blood there. She turned to see a tall, handsome, if somewhat disheveled, man standing behind her.

"I'm Alistair. It's an honor to meet you, Inquisitor, though I wish it were somewhere a bit nicer." he greeted in a friendly voice.

"Are you the Alistair who fought the Archdemon with the Hero of Ferelden?" she blurted. In her mind, she scolded herself.

 _"_ _You're acting like a da'len."_ she chastised. Alistair chuckled and shook his head wryly.

"I need to change my name. Yes, that was me. War, betrayal, darkspawn; All lots of fun and made for excellent stories, I'm sure. Nobody cares about that anymore. I answer to Warden-Commander Clarel now, just like everyone else." he answered in a dry tone.

"I'll take all the help I can get. I know the Wardens have troubles of their own." she acknowledged. "I wonder, though. Might those troubles have anything to do with Corypheus?" Alistair nodded eagerly.

"I think so. When Hawke killed Corypheus, the Wardens thought the matter resolved. But archdemons don't die from simple injury. I feared Corypheus might have the same power, so I started to investigate. I found hints, but no proof. And then, not long after, all the Wardens in Orlais began to hear the Calling." he finished. Ellana looked around to see if anyone else knew what he was talking about.

"Maker, why didn't you tell me?" Hawke asked in shock. Clearly whatever it was, it was bad.

"It was a secret. A very dangerous one. I try to actually keep a few of my oaths to the Wardens." Alistair quipped. Ellana smiled slightly. He didn't strike her as the type of person who felt a need to follow the rules.

"Is the Calling some sort of...Grey Warden ritual?" she guessed. Alistair snorted at her.

"Well...Wardens are tied to the darkspawn. We're connected somehow...And eventually that connection poisons us." he wrinkled his nose. "You get bad dreams, and then you start to hear the music. It calls to you. Quiet at first, and then so loud you can't bear it. At that point, you say farewell and go into the Deep Roads to die fighting. 'In death, sacrifice'." he explained. Ellana shook her head. It sounded horrible.

"And every Grey Warden in Orlais is hearing that right now? They think they're dying?" Hawke breathed.

"Yes. I think Corypheus caused this somehow. If all the Wardens die, who will stop the next Blight? That's what has them so terrified." the warden agreed. Hawke's icy blue eyes narrowed.

"So Corypheus isn't controlling them. He's bluffing them with this Calling and they're falling for it." she growled. Ellana arched an eyebrow. Hawke was angry with the Wardens? She tried to divert her attention.

"Is the Calling they're hearing real, or is he mimicking it somehow? Can he do that?" she asked. Alistair ran a hand through his blonde hair.

"I have no idea. Before all this, I'd barely heard of Corypheus. I didn't even know he was supposed to be a magister until I started digging around. Right now, all that matters is the Wardens are acting like they're all going to die." he reminded them.

"You said all wardens were hearing the Calling. Does that include you?" she wondered. He sighed, shoulders slumping slightly before he forced himself to stand erect.

"Unfortunately, yes. When I'm talking or fighting, I can almost ignore it. But whenever things are quiet...It's like a song you can't get out of your head. Damned annoying, frankly." he admitted.

"So the Wardens think they're dying, and have stopped thinking clearly? That won't go well." she pointed out. Alistair's friendly face became stern.

"I saw what a Blight did to Ferelden. If Wardens hadn't stopped it, there'd be no more Thedas." he argued. Ellana realized that it sounded like she was blaming the Wardens for this. "Warden-Commander Clarel proposed some drastic things- blood magic and such- to prevent further Blights before we die. I protested, maybe too loudly, and Clarel sent guards and...well, here I am." he turned to the maps on the table. "Wardens were gathering here, in the Western Approach. It's an old Tevinter ritual tower. I'm going to investigate. I could use some help." he said. It seemed as though he was trying to sound brave, but the request at the end showed her that he truly needed her aid. She nodded.

"We will go with you." she promised. He grinned at her, and it was a smile that made her feel comfortable. A strange feeling. She wasn't used to feeling comforted by complete strangers. "You should both return to Skyhold with us. We'll be able to plan better from there, I think." she suggested. He grinned at her again, and she heard a snort from Solas. She turned to see disapproval clear across his face. What was the matter with him today? She would try to find out as soon as she returned to Skyhold.

* * *

"The Wardens are a tired, desperate organization that is willingly resorting to blood sacrifice without a second thought." Solas pointed out. Her eyes widened.

"They have been put in an extremely difficult situation, Solas. It isn't a choice they are making lightly, I'm sure. I respect them." she argued. He laughed. Laughed! Anger made a blush come to her cheeks.

"Respect? They are pawns! It was so simple for Corypheus to fool them into desperation!" Solas retorted. She stared at him for a long time.

"I saw what the Blight did to Ferelden, Solas. I saw all the refugees that fled to the Free Marches to escape their deaths, only to be turned away by cities that were too full. My clan tried to help some of the people for a time, and I heard their stories. The Grey Wardens are the only thing that ended that." she answered quietly. Solas kissed her forehead.

"Do you really wish to fight about this, Inquisitor?" he asked her. She blinked at his sudden change in demeanor. She did not want to fight, but his blatant disrespect of the Wardens was offensive to her. She found herself wondering if this is how relationships worked in the "real world". Her relationship with Mahanon had been so different from the one she had with Solas. He did not wish to talk about his past, or anything that went too deep. As such, she still hadn't told him about her own past. It was strange, and yet, the mystery of him kept her intrigued. She wanted to figure him out, but wasn't sure if she ever would.

"I'm not trying to fight, Solas, I-" she said. He was kissing her before she realized what was happening. Since their first night together, this kept happening. She would try to discuss something with him, and he would end up kissing her, which would inevitably lead to other things. It was a pleasant distraction, to be sure, but part of her wondered why he always tried to stop her from getting to know him.

"I do not wish to fight you either. Let's drop this for now, shall we?" he suggested. She nodded mutely, and he kissed her again. She allowed herself to melt into his embrace, relishing in the feeling of his strong hands on the small of her back. As he pulled away, she sighed.

"All right." she agreed. He nodded and she left the rotunda to prepare for their upcoming journey.

* * *

Solas frowned at her back as she left. He hated himself for what he was doing. Sleeping with her the first time had been a mistake. He knew that. He wasn't even sure it could still be called a mistake after the second and third time it had happened. He closed his eyes. The feel of her lips against his was the sweetest thing he could possibly imagine. The Inquisitor had stolen his heart, and he had to fight with every part of himself to avoid giving it completely to her. He had started intentionally pushing her away, hoping that she would end things, while also holding on with all his might. It was a dangerous dance.

"You should end it, you fool. You will only hurt her." he muttered. Hurting her was the one thing he couldn't bear to do. "Hurting her now to save her pain later would be the best course." he told himself, knowing full well that he wouldn't do it. He shook his head. "Selfish." he spat.

His self-loathing was more intense than it had been in a long time. He needed her like lungs needed air, but she didn't need him. She would be fine without him. But he loved her. She loved him, true, but she didn't need him like he needed her. She didn't know that she would move on with ease if he left, but he knew. She was much stronger than he was. His weakness was going to be the thing that hurt her, however, and he hated himself for it.

"Weak." he growled. Hopefully his weakness wouldn't be her undoing.


	19. Chapter 19

Ellana raised a hand to shield her eyes from the blinding sun in the Western Approach. While she and her companions had been securing Griffon Wing Keep, Hawke and Alistair scouted the ritual tower. She could see them ahead now, and she nodded at her companions to approach. She, along with Solas, Iron Bull, and Varric, trudged across the hot desert sand to reach the pair.

"Glad you could make it, we've seen lights coming from the tower." Alistair said in hushed tones. Hawke was glowering at him.

"It has to be blood magic. I hope we can stop them before more people get hurt." she grunted. Alistair frowned. He clearly didn't approve of the attack on his fellow Wardens. The blonde beauty rolled her eyes. "You take point. I'll guard your backs." she suggested to Ellana. She nodded and began leading them in. Her eyes widened at the sight.

A large group of Wardens stood within the tower courtyard. Beside each of them, a demon hovered. Ellana's eyes narrowed. What had made the Wardens decide to consort with demons? She noticed a strangely dressed man standing atop a platform beside two other Wardens.

"Vint." Iron Bull grunted. Ellana arched an eyebrow at him. The strange man was Tevinter? Dorian never dressed like that.

"Wait, no!" one of the Wardens cried. He was backing away from another man that Ellana immediately identified as a mage.

"Warden-Commander Clarel's orders were clear." the man from Tevinter barked. His accent _was_ similar to Dorian's, but harsher, less amused. The warrior turned to him with a glare.

"This is wrong!" he shouted. The Tevinter rolled his eyes.

"Remember your oath? In war, victory. In peace, vigilance. In death..." he chanted. The mage warden near the frightened man was suddenly right behind him.

"I'm sorry." he said before shoving his blade into his chest.

"Sacrifice!" the man on the platform cheered as the brave warden died. She gaped as a rift opened up behind the murderous mage and a demon crawled out. They were sacrificing their warriors to bring demons through from the Fade? "Good! Now bind it, just as I showed you!" the Tevinter called. The warden did as he was told, and soon the demon was under the mage's control. Ellana noticed that as the mage was binding the demon, the man who seemed to be running it all cast a spell of his own. A red glow emanated from his hand, and then was reflected in the warden mage's eyes. He finally seemed to notice their approach.

"Inquisitor! What an unexpected pleasure! Lord Livius Erimond of Vyrantium, at your service." the man exclaimed. He was one of the oddest shemlen she had met so far.

"I'm guessing you're not a warden." Alistair said drily. Erimond wrinkled his nose.

"But _you_ are. The one Clarel let slip! And you found the Inquisitor, and came to stop me. Shall we see how that goes?" he taunted.

"Looks like you've already done some of that work for me." she drawled. Erimond frowned at the corpse between them.

"What, him? We simply needed his blood. Oh, were you hoping to garner sympathy? Maybe make the wardens feel a bit of remorse?" he turned to the wardens, who were patiently waiting with their demon partners. "Wardens: hands up!" he ordered, every hand raised into the air. Ellana's eyes narrowed. Mind control. She should have known. "Hands down."

"Corypheus has enslaved them!" Alistair growled. The mage shrugged.

"They did this to themselves. You see, the Calling had the Wardens terrified. They looked everywhere for help." he crooned.

"Including Tevinter." Alistair snapped.

"Yes, and since it was my master who put the Calling into their little heads, we in the Venatori were prepared. I went to Clarel full of sympathy, and together we came up with a plan. Raise a demon army, march into the Deep Roads, and kill the Old Gods before they wake." he explained. Listening to it, it sounded completely mad. And yet, if she had been in Clarel's place, would she have made a different decision? Knowing that the Calling was in every Warden's head, knowing that every one of her people would go to their deaths, leaving no one to stop future Blights... It was a difficult decision. Obviously Clarel had let her fear blind her, but Ellana thought that she would have at least considered it too, were she in the same place.

"Ahh, I was wondering when the demon army would show up." she commented, trying to remain calm. Erimond blanched, and she knew she had made the right decision.

"You...knew about it, did you? Well then...here you are. Sadly for the Wardens, the binding ritual I taught the mages has a side effect. They're now my master's slaves. This was a test. Once the rest of the Wardens complete the ritual, the army will conquer Thedas." he cried. Ellana rolled her eyes. What was it with villainous people that made them want to reveal their plans?

"Wonderful. That is all I needed to know." she said simply.

"Oh, please." he drawled, thrusting a palm forward. The same red glow that had come from Corypheus' hand when he had tried to rip the anchor from her emanated from Erimond's palm. It latched onto her mark, and she dropped to her knees. "The Elder One showed me how to deal with you in the event you were foolish enough to interfere again. That mark you bear? The Anchor that lets you pass safely through the Veil? You stole that from my master. He's been forced to seek other ways to access the Fade." he proclaimed. So distracted by his own speech he was, he didn't notice that Ellana had stood, and her own palm thrust forward to counter his power. "When I bring him your head, his gratitude will...ugh!" She used her mark on him the same way she would on a rift, and he was blasted to the ground in surprise. She smirked.

"That doesn't really work on me anymore, or didn't your master tell you?" she taunted.

"Kill them!" the magister cried before running away. Ellana gritted her teeth. Fighting Wardens, even ones who were under mind control, was not her idea of a good time. The battle was not too difficult however. It seemed that being under the control of Corypheus made the warden's skills dull and mechanical. Ellana and her companions cut through them quickly, and she felt ashamed of herself every time a warden fell.

"They refuse to listen to reason." Hawke spat.

"You were right. Thanks to the ritual the warden mages are enslaved to Corypheus." Alistair added sadly.

"And the warden warriors? Of course, sacrificed in a ritual. What a waste." Thera said angrily.

"I can't believe this is happening." Ellana murmured.

"Clarel is fearful and foolish." Hawke growled.

"Hawke, they made a mistake, but they thought it was necessary." Alistair argued. Ellana nodded in agreement. No decision was easy when the fate of the world was in your hands.

"All blood mages do." the blonde accused. "Everyone has a story they tell themselves to justify bad decisions...and it never matters. In the end you are always alone with your actions." Alistair shook his head and chose to ignore her.

"I may know where the wardens are. Erimond fled that way." he gestured. "There's an abandoned warden fortress in that direction. Adamant." Ellana nodded.

"Good thinking." she agreed. Alistair gave her a grateful smile.

"The warden and I will scout out Adamant and confirm that the other wardens are there. We'll meet you back at Griffon Wing Keep."

* * *

"I should have known the Wardens would prove to be fools." Solas muttered loud enough for the Inquisitor to hear. Her large eyes widened at his commentary. A pang of regret struck his chest. Lying to her, playing demon's advocate in the hopes that it would drive her away, was a childish method. He didn't even entirely agree with what he was saying. He would do anything to bring his people back. In fact, he planned on it. Her response echoed his thoughts beautifully.

"You think that you would do any less to save your people, if put into Clarel's shoes?" she raged. He wanted to smile. She was terrifyingly similar to himself, in some ways. Before he got a chance to answer, she continued shouting. "You, who claims to be a friend to spirits, are trying to tell me you would not turn to them in a time of need?" her lips thinned and her eyebrows lowered severely. "I know that you like to keep your truths hidden from me, but I never thought you would lie to my face." she finished, her voice quiet but dangerous. His mouth opened, ready to present a proper argument, and he paused. Should he? Wasn't part of his goal to drive her away so that he couldn't hurt her? Solas sighed and shook his head, suddenly exhausted. He stood and walked around the table to look down at her.

"You do not understand the half of what I would do for my people. You included." he admitted quietly, leaning down and brushing his lips against her forehead before leaving her to her thoughts. He ignored the voice in his head that screamed at him to return and apologize. As he wandered the halls of the old keep, lost in thought, he nearly slammed right into Commander Cullen. "Commander." he murmured, trying to move past.

"You've upset her again, haven't you?" the man's voice accused, freezing his footsteps. Solas turned back to look at him. How could he possibly know that? Were his emotions so evident across his face?

"What the Inquisitor and I have discussed is between us." he pointed out.

" _Ellana_ is more important than whatever little game you are trying to play with her." Cullen growled with surprising ferocity. Solas wrinkled his nose. He did not appreciate the familiarity with which the Commander used her name. The word seemed so intimate, so personal when it passed his lips. He almost felt as though he were intruding just by discussing her in his presence. His eyes narrowed.

"As I said before, our relationship is none of your business." he replied coolly. He turned to leave and Cullen grabbed his arm.

"Why do you treat her this way? Are you completely incapable of seeing what you have right in front of you? She is so much more than you, and you treat her like she's nothing! You don't deserve someone half as incredible as her." the much larger man spat. He had been aware that Cullen loved her, but he had never noticed how much. The Commander was who she should really be with, he realized. Jealousy burned within him as he became more and more aware that the man standing before him would be significantly better for her than he himself.

"Do you think I do not know that?" he asked quietly. "Do you think this is not something I tell myself every single day? I would have thought even your pea-brain could have figured that out." He scoffed to himself. Resorting to petty insults? He was getting more childish by the minute. Cullen slowly released his arm, brown eyes still flaring with anger.

"If I didn't know it would tear her apart inside, I would kill you for how you've mistreated her. Change your ways, Solas, or you will find yourself losing the sun." he said before striding off toward Ellana's office. A peculiar way to phrase it, but also the most accurate thing he had ever heard. The Inquisitor was like the sun in many ways. Bright and harsh, giving energy and taking it away in turns. After Cullen was long gone, Solas slammed his fist hard against the stone wall. He barely felt the pain of it, barely noticed the blood running down his knuckles. It was nothing compared to the pain he felt in his heart.


	20. Chapter 20

Ellana frowned angrily at the ground that she hovered about an inch over. The Beyond. No one should be here, not in the flesh, anyway. And yet she was. Again. She crawled to her feet and looked around at her companions. Alistair and Hawke stared at each other like a pair of strange cats bristling at being in the same room, while Iron Bull, Dorian, and Varric gaped at the strange landscape around them. Ah, of course. They had never been to this place. She couldn't really remember her last visit, but there was a familiarity about it that was oddly comforting.

The siege of adamant had been...disastrous. Demons ruled that place, she had known from the minute she walked in. Everywhere they looked, another Warden was under Corypheus' control. Clarel had been blinded by fear and desperation, but Ellana still stubbornly thought she had done what she could to protect her people. When she had revealed the truth to the woman, she had lashed out in a rage at Magister Erimond and his followers, nearly killing him. It was because of her that they still lived. She had given her life to defend them from the archdemon. Ellana wanted her to be honored for that.

Solas had elected not to join them, or rather, she hadn't been able to find him. He was growing more and more distant, and she was beginning to doubt his feelings for her. Why would he kiss her like he did, why would he spend so many nights with her and tell her that he loved her, if he was just going to spend the rest of his time arguing with her and ignoring her? Why was Cullen always there for her when the man she loved barely gave her the time of day? She bit the inside of her cheek. Now was not the time to be thinking about her romantic problems.

"Well...this is unexpected." Alistair finally said, pulling her from her thoughts. Hawke seemed to panic.

"Is this...are we dead?" she breathed. Ellana shook her head.

"No. This is the Beyond. The Fade." she answered softly. Saying the words seemed to make it more real. Everyone turned to look at her. "I opened a rift. We came through."

"This isn't how I remember the Fade at all." Hawke said quietly. "Perhaps it's because we're here physically, instead of just dreaming." she turned to Ellana. "The stories say you walked out of the Fade before. Was it like this?" she asked. Ellana shook her head.

"I don't remember what happened last time." she admitted.

"Well, whatever happened in Haven, we can't assume we're safe here." Hawke reminded them urgently. "That huge demon was right on the other side of the rift Erimond was using, and there could be others."

"In the real world, the rift with the demons in it was nearby, in the main hall. Can we get out the same way?" Alistair wondered. Ellana frowned. She had no idea how any of this was supposed to work. Frustrated as she was with him, she wished Solas was there. His expertise would have been helpful in this situation.

"It beats waiting around for demons to find us, right?" she agreed. "Let's head toward the rift." she said, pointing to something that was frighteningly reminiscent of the Breach she had sealed what seemed like a lifetime ago.

"My visits to the Fade are usually more pleasant. I don't usually wake up feeling the need to bathe...Well...usually...Sometimes...well, never mind that." Dorian trailed off. Ellana snorted in amusement.

"'Hey chief, let's join the Inquisition! Good fights for a good cause!' I don't know, Krem. I hear there are demons. 'Ahh, don't worry about the demons, chief! I'm sure we won't see many!' Can't believe I listened...Asshole." Iron Bull muttered under his breath. "Everyone, if I get possessed, feint on my blind side, then go low. Cullen says I leave myself open." he announced.

"I'll bear that in mind." Varric grumbled. He walked over to Ellana's side and tugged on her sleeve. She looked down at him in surprise. "Is this really what it's like when you dream? How do you people ever sleep?" he asked. She shrugged.

"It's usually a bit more pleasant." she admitted.

"Remember the last time we were in the Fade, Hawke?" the dwarf asked. The blonde rolled her eyes.

"Yes. You all betrayed me." she snapped angrily. Varric chuckled to himself. Clearly his friend's rage didn't affect him as it would other people.

"Well, we got better...sort of." he pointed out. They walked in silence for a time until she saw a golden light up ahead. Her eyes widened in shock as she realized that the Divine, who had certainly died, stood before her. Alistair gasped.

"What...that can't be..." he breathed.

"I greet you, Warden. And you, Champion." Justinia said sweetly. Ellana looked around at her companions.

"Is it really her?" she asked.

"I don't recall the Divine glowing. In my experience, that is something spirits do." Alistair pointed out. Justinia arched an eyebrow.

"You think my survival impossible, yet here you stand alive in the Fade yourselves." she pointed out. "In truth, proving my existence either way would require time we do not have." Hawke scoffed.

"Surely you can understand our concerns, and explain what you are." she spat.

"I am here to help you." she answered. Ellana shrugged. That seemed like an answer a holy woman would give. "You do not remember what happened at the Temple of Sacred Ashes, Inquisitor." Ellana jumped. It was the first time the...whatever she was...had addressed her directly.

"Did...did you take my memories?" she wondered. The apparition shook her head.

"No. You lost them to the demon that serves Corypheus. It is the nightmare you forget upon waking. It feeds of memories of fear and darkness, growing fat upon the terror. The false Calling that terrified the Wardens into making such grave mistakes? Its work." she explained.

"I'd like to have a few words with this Nightmare about that." Alistair growled. Ellana hadn't thought he could be so fierce.

"You will have your chance, brave Warden. This place of darkness is its lair." the Divine promised.

"The big demon Erimond was trying to bring through." Ellana commented, trying to wrap her head around the situation.

"Yes." Justinia said simply.

"It's nearby?" she continued.

"Yes." the woman answered again.

"Well, shit." she muttered.

"When you entered the Fade at Haven, the demon took a part of you. Before you do anything else, you must recover it." she turned and pointed toward a nearby group of wisps. "Those are your memories, Inquisitor." Ellana sighed. It seemed she had a lot more work to do.

* * *

Varric shuddered as he launched another bolt into the Nightmare demon's puckered flesh. He should _not_ be here. This wasn't a place for dwarves. This was a place for crazy people who could control the weather and blow fire out of their asses. Not dwarves.

As they had traveled through the horrid place, they had learned a few things that he would wager Seeker would be interested in. For one thing, Peaches had been there when Justinia was being held captive. She had interrupted Corypheus' weird ritual by storming into the room in a fit of pique, as she was prone to do, which allowed the Divine to use her kickass head-butting skills to knock the weird orb from the weird monster's weird hands.

"That's using the word 'weird' too much, idiot." he muttered to himself. But he was having a hard time trying to think of a different way to describe everything that happened to that tiny elf. It was all too weird.

Picking up the weird orb had caused the anchor to latch onto Peaches' hand instead of Corypheus, so naturally the guy was pretty pissed off about the whole situation. Then they all discovered that the reason Peaches had been the one to survive the maker-forsaken Fade was because Divine Justinia sacrificed herself to save her!

"Andraste's ass, this kind of shit doesn't just happen to people. Nobody would believe me if I told them." he growled. It was then that he realized that Peaches was opening the rift and hollering at him to go through it. The thought of it curdled his insides, but he took one glance at Hawke before throwing himself through the portal. He expected it to hurt, or at least feel different, but when he opened his eyes, he was standing in the courtyard of Adamant, the rift still opened behind him. He moved out of the way so the others could come through. Except they didn't. It might have been five minutes, it might have been five years, but nobody was coming through. "Come on." he mumbled.

"What is taking them so long?" Sparkler asked, appearing beside him. Varric shrugged.

"Perhaps they decided to have a picnic." he joked. Sparkler snorted, but he didn't seem all that amused. In fact, he seemed worried. Very worried. The mage had grown fond of Peaches over the last few weeks. Varric started to realize that maybe _he_ should be worrying.

Suddenly, Alistair stumbled out of the rift, and Varric sighed in relief. Peaches followed next, and... the rift closed.

"Wait." he said. Ellana's face was stony as she searched the crowd. When her eyes fell on him, they became very sympathetic. "No." he breathed.

"Where is the Champion?" one of the Wardens asked. Varric nodded in agreement. She had to be all right. She was Amathera Hawke. She was indestructible. She had faced down much worse than demons. She was...

"Hawke gave her life to stop the Nightmare demon, and to save us all. Her sacrifice will be honored and remembered." Ellana announced. Dead. Varric shook his head. It sort of felt like he couldn't breathe. He was suddenly dizzy. Dead? What did that even mean, really? The Divine was dead, but he had just talked to her less than an hour ago. Dead. Gone. He would never get the chance to tell her how much she really meant to him. He knew she knew, but he couldn't tell her.

"Varric?" Sparkler was asking, but it didn't matter because Hawke was dead. His friend was dead. "Varric I think you need to sit down." his voice was full of concern, but Andraste's ass, who cared? Hawke was gone. Thera was gone. His friend. He thought he would be sick. He didn't even notice that the courtyard was clearing out. Peaches had already made her speeches and the crowds were leaving. That's what had always happened with...Hawke... Gone? What did that mean? Where did she go? And, shit. Sebastian. He would have to tell Choir Boy that Hawke was...

"Did I ever tell you about the time Hawke was on a Merchant Guild hit list?" he babbled. He knew he was babbling, it was one of his biggest faults. "Hawke's uncle got into an investment scheme with a couple of Merchant Caste businessmen. They took a lot of people's coin in order to arrange the import of wandering hills from the Anderfels. A delicacy, I'm told. Their weird...foreign foodstuffs arrived, alive. And one of them, true to its name, wandered off in the middle of the night." he didn't really process that Ellana was hugging him. She never hugged people. She hated people touching her. He had seen her electrocute a guy for tapping her on the shoulder. "Shit." he muttered.

"Her last words were 'say goodbye to Varric for me'." she admitted. He rubbed at the unfamiliar dampness that was building in his eyes.

"That bitch. She would do that." he murmured, shaking his head. He still couldn't feel it yet. It didn't make any sense. "The guild traced the shipment to Hawke's uncle, but as usual, he was so far in debt he couldn't see daylight. So they went after Hawke instead. They sent guys from the local Carta to her estate one night. Five big dusters, armed to the teeth. They kicked in the door, and Hawke was just standing there, fully armed, with me and the guard-captain on either side. Nobody even said a word. The poor sods just looked at Hawke, looked at the guard-captain, and dropped their weapons. They never came back. Hawke just has...had...that effect on people." he realized his story was finished. He couldn't find anything else to say. The courtyard was empty and silent. It was crushing him from all sides. It reminded him of his own emptiness. Hawke was gone, and no amount of talking would bring her back. Ellana, being the secretly compassionate being that she was, took his hand and lead him out of the courtyard. Out of Adamant. He wished she would take him out of the Western Approach. Out of Orlais. Out of the planet. Out of his own mind. He didn't let himself break down until long after she left him alone in his rooms back at Griffon Wing Keep. That was the only place he could be sure no one would see him cry.


	21. Chapter 21

Solas watched Ellana close the door behind her, leaning her forehead against it with a shuddering breath. It took him a moment to realize that she was crying. For a moment, he didn't know what to do. He just stared at her, knowing that she hadn't noticed he was here. She looked so vulnerable, so broken, so beautiful. Gently, he cleared his throat, and she turned around in surprise.

"Solas, I-" she began. He made it to her side before she could finish, and crushed her against his chest.

"I am so sorry, _ma vhenan_. I should not have acted as I did." he murmured. She looked up at him, tears in her lovely gray-green eyes.

"Hawke is dead." she whimpered. Ah. He had spent so much time fretting about the Inquisitor possibly dying that he hadn't even considered someone else would. He knew that her despair was mostly for Varric, and not the icy blonde Champion, but it didn't matter one way or the other. Over the days that she had been gone, he had been a complete wreck. He realized that pushing her away wasn't what he really wanted. Even though it would be a difficult, if not impossible, relationship, he loved her. He needed her to know that he loved her. When he realized that she had already left for Adamant, he was distraught. He spent days fearing that she was dead. And now she was back in his arms.

"I am sorry for your loss. And I am sorry for the way I have been treating you. It was unworthy." he said, kissing the top of her head.

"Why were you being such a...such a..." she began.

"An ass? A prat? A worthless idiot?" he suggested. She shrugged and nodded. He chuckled. "If I'm being completely honest, Inquisitor, you terrify me. I was so afraid that you would find me lacking or that something would happen to you, that I drove a wedge between us. It was an idiotic preemptive strike." he explained. She snorted.

"It _was_ certainly idiotic, Solas." she agreed. He laughed again.

"I feared losing you, _vhenan_. I thought you would realize I wasn't worthy of you and run off to the Commander or someone else better than I." he admitted. Her eyes flashed with...something...anxiety? Guilt? He wasn't sure, but whatever it was, he did not think he wanted to know.

"Well I, for one, am glad you're deciding to stop pushing me away." she said. She was hiding something, but he didn't care. He was just glad she was alive, and in his arms. He did not intend to let her go again.

* * *

Ellana closed her eyes against the warm breeze that blew through the Emerald Graves. She had heard much of this place, but had never had the chance to see it. Scout Harding was giving her a report of what had been happening in the area, but it was hard to listen. Many of her people had died, or had been buried in these lush forests. Solas squeezed her hand gently, and she gave him a fond smile. He had been very attentive to her since their talk in the Western Approach a few weeks prior.

"Legend says that a tree grows here for every elven knight of Halamshiral who perished in its defense." Harding said, shaking her head sadly. "Makes you sad, doesn't it?"

"We are the last Elvhen, never again shall we submit." she murmured. Harding blinked in surprise. It seemed she had forgotten who she was speaking to.

"Oh...I'm sorry, Inquisitor. I spoke thoughtlessly." she apologized. Ellana shook her head.

"It isn't thoughtless to admit to feeling something, even if it wasn't your people who were effected. I appreciate the sympathy." she clarified. Harding nodded gratefully and left her alone.

"There is much history here." Solas commented. She nodded.

"I can feel all their spirits in this place." she agreed. Solas smiled at her, which she returned, and then wandered off to his tent. He was doing everything he possibly could to make her happy, and she was, but her guilt about Cullen was eating at her. She couldn't tell Solas what had happened between them because she thought that she might actually love the man. "Focus." she muttered to herself. She had chosen Solas, and that was that.

"A message for you, Inquisitor." one of the messengers said, handing her a letter before bowing away. She broke the wax seal and saw that there were two letters, not one. The first was from Mother Giselle.

 _"Inquisitor, we received word from the mage, Dorian's family. His parents have sent a retainer to a small inn at the edge of the Emerald Graves. I have included the letter from his parents with mine, so that you may see the details of the situation. Bring him to see the retainer, but do not tell him about the letter. I beg you, his family is worried about him, and it would be best if he was kept in the dark."_ it read. She snorted.

"Yes, keeping people in the dark is always the best solution." she drawled sarcastically as she skimmed the letter from his father.

"Is it, now? What's that?" Dorian asked, appearing at her shoulder.

"A letter." she replied.

"Ooh, is it a naughty letter?" he asked delightedly, trying to grab it.

"It's from your father." she admitted, handing it over.

"My what?" he asked, suddenly angry. He snorted and scoffed as he read the message. "'I know my son?' What that man knows of me would fit into a thimble! This is so typical! I'm willing to bet this 'retainer' is a henchmen, hired to knock me on the head and drag me back to Tevinter." he roared. Ellana arched an eyebrow.

"Do you think your father would actually do that?" she asked. He hesitated.

"...No. Although I wouldn't put it past him. Let's go. Right now. Let's meet this so-called 'family retainer'. If it's a trap, we escape, and kill everyone! You're good at that! If it's not, I send the man back to my father with the message that he can stick is alarm in his 'wit's end'." he growled in determination. Ellana nodded. They did not have much else to do, as they hadn't been able to set up a meeting with the mysterious Fairbanks yet. The pair of them slipped out of camp and went on their way.

"There seems to be bad blood between you and your family." she pointed out as they walked. Dorian laughed bitterly.

"Interesting turn of phrase. We've never really talked about my family before. They're not happy with my choices, you see, nor I theirs." he replied vaguely.

"What choices? Leaving Tevinter?" she asked. He shrugged noncommittally.

"That too." he spat. She sighed. He was clearly not going to give her any more information. The inn was not far, but it was oddly quiet as they approached.

"I think something might be wrong." she whispered, still seeming too loud for all the silence that surrounded them. Dorian shrugged and pushed open the door. There wasn't a soul to be seen.

"Nobody's here. This doesn't bode well." he muttered. He sounded anxious.

"Dorian." a voice said from nearby. Ellana did not have to see him to know that it was Dorian's father. Their voices had the same timbre, the same tone. His father's simply sounded more developed. Her friend froze before turning toward the voice.

"Father." his voice dripped with anger. She had caught a glimpse of his face before he turned, and never had she seen him so furious. "So the whole story about the family retainer was just...what? A smoke-screen?" he asked. His father came into the light, and she could see the striking resemblance between the two men. Halward _was_ Dorian, but more ripened, more mature. What Dorian would look like when he reached his father's age.

"Then you were told." the man answered. He turned to look at her. "I apologize for the deception, Inquisitor. I never intended for you to be involved." he explained politely. Dorian snorted.

"Of course not! Magister Pavus couldn't come to Skyhold and be seen with the dread Inquisitor! What would people think?" he spat. "What is 'this' exactly, father? Ambush? Kidnapping? Warm family reunion?" Dorian sounded out of control. Ellana started getting very nervous. She had never seen her friend like this. Never in her life had she thought she would ever be friends with a mage from Tevinter, but after going through the Fade together, they had bonded. She had realized that you should be grateful for the people who cared about you, no matter who they were. Halward looked at her and sighed.

"This is how it has always been." he sighed ruefully. Ellana's eyes narrowed. She understood the value of family better than most, but dismissing Dorian's feelings wasn't the way to get him back.

"Considering you lied to get him here, he has every right to be furious." she argued. Dorian laughed, and it was a cold, empty sound.

"You don't know the half of it." he agreed. A strange, twisted light entered his eyes. "But maybe you should." Halward's eyes widened.

"Dorian, there's no need-" he began.

"I prefer the company of men." Dorian interrupted. "My father disapproves." She arched an eyebrow.

"This is not exactly news, Dorian." she pointed out. It was a quirk of character that did not happen often among her people, but she had met a few Dalish who were interested in people of the same gender. Deshanna had never really liked it, because such unions couldn't produce children, and therefore couldn't help preserve their people, but Ellana had never minded. You could not help who you loved. Her own situation made that abundantly clear.

"And why should it be? Why should anyone care? I have no idea." he wondered, echoing her thoughts.

"This display is uncalled for." Halward argued. Dorian snorted.

"No, it _is_ called for. _You_ called for it by luring me here." he snapped.

"This is not what I wanted." his father admitted. He sounded angry, but Ellana could hear the pain in his voice as well. He missed his son. Dorian was too incensed to notice.

"I'm never what you wanted, Father. Or had you forgotten?" he shouted.

"That's...a big concern in Tevinter, then?" she asked hesitantly. Dorian shrugged.

"Only if you're trying to live up to an impossible standard. As I told you, every Tevinter family is intermarrying to distill the perfect mage. Perfect body, perfect mind. The perfect leader. It means every perceived flaw, every aberration, is deviant and shameful. It must be hidden." Ellana shook her head. It was all a lot to take in.

"So that's what this is all about? Who you sleep with?" she inquired. Halward looked so ashamed and broken that Ellana wasn't sure how to feel.

"That's not _all_ it's about." Dorian said, and his voice had never been so cold.

"Dorian, please. If you'll only listen to me." Halward begged.

"Why? So you can spout more convenient lies?" he looked at her and pointed at his father. " _He_ taught me to hate blood magic. 'The resort of the weak mind.' Those are _his_ words. But what was the first thing you did when your precious heir refused to play pretend for the rest of his life? You tried to...change me." Dorian's voice broke, and her own tears spilled over.

"I only wanted what was best for you." his father pleaded. His voice was full of regret. Dorian turned and advanced on his father, angrily gesturing at him.

"You wanted the best for _you_! For your fucking legacy! Anything for that!" he cried. Ellana followed him when he walked to the other side of the inn, wiping her tears away as she went. She touched his hand.

"Don't leave it like this, Dorian. You'll never forgive yourself." she urged. He took a deep, shuddering breath and wiped his own tears away before charging back over to his father.

"Tell me why you came." he ordered. Halward sighed.

"If I knew I would drive you to the Inquisition..." he began.

" _You_ didn't. I joined the Inquisition because it was the right thing to do. Once I had a father who would have known that." Dorian nearly made it out the door before Halward spoke again.

"Once I had a son who trusted me. A trust I betrayed." Dorian stopped, hand on the door. "I only wanted to talk to him. To hear his voice again. To ask him to forgive me." Her friend's frantic eyes found hers, and she nodded toward his father. If there was a chance of forgiveness, he should take it. He walked toward his father, and she slipped out of the inn. He could take care of himself.

* * *

Dorian stared at the copse of trees in front of him. He had never expected that to happen. He had spent hours talking with his father, and when he left he snuck back to the camp and came here. He had sat in silence until night fell, and moonlight flickered through the trees. Ellana silently appeared beside him. He never heard her when she approached, especially here in her natural habitat. Sneaky Dalish.

"He says we're alike. Too much pride. Once I would have been overjoyed to hear him say that. Now I'm not certain. I don't know if I can forgive him." he admitted.

"He tried to change you?" she asked. Even if he told her every detail, he wasn't sure she would really understand. Not fully, anyway. But she would try, and he was grateful for that.

"Out of desperation. I wouldn't put on a show, marry the girl, keep everything unsavory private and locked away. Selfish, I suppose, not wanting to spend my entire life screaming on the inside. He was going to do a blood ritual. Alter my mind. Make me...acceptable. I found out. I left." he remembered the moment he had found out. He had always known his father disapproved of his sex life, but he had thought he still loved him anyway. When he discovered his intent, it had crushed him. Halward Pavus had always been his hero, the man he wanted to emulate. He loved his father fiercely, and discovering that his father didn't love him enough to let him be himself had been devastating.

"Can blood magic actually do that?" she asked, pulling him from his dark thoughts. He snorted.

"Maybe. It could have also left me a drooling vegetable. It crushed me to think he found that absurd risk preferable to scandal. Part of me has always hoped he didn't really want to go through with it. If he had...I can't even imagine the person I would be now. I wouldn't like that Dorian." she nodded in understanding.

"Are you all right?" she wondered. He sighed. He wasn't really one to talk about his feelings, but for whatever reason, he felt safe confiding in her.

"No, not really." they were both quiet for a while. "Thank you for bringing me out there. It wasn't what I expected, but...it's something. Maker knows what you must think of me now, after that whole display." he blushed in embarrassment. He had never been one to lose control like that.

"I think you're very brave." she replied, to his shock.

"Brave?" he asked. She nodded.

"It's not easy to abandon tradition and walk your own path." she agreed. He supposed if anyone knew the truth of that, it would be her. He felt a rush of affection for the woman.

"At any rate, time to drink myself into a stupor. It's been that sort of day. Join me sometime, if you've a mind." he said. She grinned at him.

"Maybe next time." she agreed. He chuckled as she walked away. She really was a remarkable woman. He knew he was lucky to have earned her friendship. Someone cleared their throat behind him long after she had left. He turned to see Iron Bull standing there.

"Eavesdropping is unbecoming." he pointed out. The giant chuckled as he sat down beside him.

"Yes, well, I saw you come in and I've been making sure nobody bothered you for hours. Boss snuck by me." he admitted. Dorian turned to him in surprise.

"Wait, what? Why?" he wondered. Bull shrugged.

"If you had seen your face, you would have wanted to protect you too." he said simply. Dorian stared at the ground for a long time. Their dynamic was certainly strange. Over the months they had known each other, they had constantly poked and prodded at one another for their heritage, but it never seemed spiteful. He shuddered as he recalled something he had said just days before.

 _"That's right, these big muscled hands could tear those robes off while you struggled, helpless in my grip. I'd pin you down, and as you gripped my horns: I. Would. Conquer. You."_ he had said. Very casually, in fact, as they strolled along. He hadn't been able to stop thinking about it. He dreamed about it, in fact. It was a dream that woke him in the middle of the night, confused at what he was feeling. He was confused by how much he wanted it to happen. He barely processed when Iron Bull handed him a flask. He mindlessly took a drink, and nearly choked on it.

" _Vishante kaffas,_ what is that?" he asked, passing the flask back. He could feel the effects of the liquor almost immediately, something he had never experienced before.

" _Maraas-lok_ _._ " the Qunari said, taking a long swig himself before passing it back to Dorian. He took a deep breath and drank again. It was a little easier the second time. It still tasted like he was drinking fire.

"What the fuck does that mean?" he wondered. Bull laughed.

"It means drink." he chortled, drinking again. Dorian stared at him. The moonlight played off the hard planes of his face. He had to fight the urge to reach up and grab his horns. He blinked. Could it be he was actually...attracted to this man? That was what he was. A man. He was larger than usual, and his skin was gray, and he had horns, but his features were strong and handsome. Dorian felt his heartbeat speed up, and he hoped it was from the alcohol. Bull raised his eyebrow.

"Listen, I've caught the hints, I get what you're saying: You want to ride the Bull." he said suddenly. Dorian made a strangled sound that he did not think he would ever be able to replicate. Was the man bloody reading his mind? "Can't say I blame you, but I'm not sure you know what you're asking. Not sure if you're ready for it." Dorian knew he should say no. He knew that he should walk away from this.

"Believe me, I'm ready for it." his mouth said. What? That was the opposite of what he had been rehearsing in his mind. He thought about blaming his words on the alcohol, but his very being burned in denial of that excuse. He wanted the Qunari more than he had ever wanted anyone. How odd. Suddenly they were standing, facing each other.

"See, you say that, but you really don't know what that means." Bull assured him. It was another chance to back out, and yet, he didn't really want to.

"Are we going to do this or not?" he snapped. He didn't have time to play games. Suddenly Bull had him pressed up against a tree, his arms pinned above his head. His pants were getting uncomfortably tight.

"Last chance." his breath was hot against his face. His heart was racing, his eyes were wide.

"A little slower...and a lot harder." Dorian finally said when he had a second to breathe. Iron Bull's grin set his whole body on fire. This would be a fun night.


	22. Chapter 22

Ellana glanced back at Dorian and Iron Bull. The two of them kept sharing knowing looks, and they had been ever since their adventure in the Emerald Graves a few weeks prior. She wondered exactly what was going on between them, but she hadn't had time to ask Dorian privately. Iron Bull winked at her, and she wondered what her staring had unleashed.

"So, Dorian, about last night..." he bellowed. Cassandra rolled her eyes at the loud proclamation. They were on their way to Caer Oswin, where Cassandra had tracked down a lead on her fellow Seekers. She had asked that they go to figure out why everyone had disappeared, and Ellana had agreed. Dorian sighed mournfully.

"Discretion isn't your thing, is it?" Dorian quipped.

"Three times!" Iron Bull cheered. Ellana was certain her cheeks were red. Solas chuckled. She usually only brought three people with her when she went on missions like these, but he had requested to go along as well. Unlike early on in their relationship, he was always by her side. She loved how much effort he was putting into their love. It was impressive. "Also, do you want your silky underthings back, or did you leave those like a token? Or...wait, did you 'forget' them so you'd have an excuse to come back? You sly dog!" Bull continued. It was hard not to giggle. Dorian's face was bright red.

"If you choose to leave your door unlocked like a savage, I may or may not come." he finally said.

"Speak for yourself." Bull grunted. Ellana chortled in delight. She couldn't resist. Solas was grinning as well.

"We are here." Cassandra murmured, putting a halt to all mirth. Ellana removed her staff from her back and readied herself. Nothing they ever did was safe. Unsurprisingly, the door was open, making her certain this was another trap. Almost immediately they were attacked by a group of men wearing an emblem she did not recognize. Based on Cassandra's furious expression, she _did_ recognize them. Once they were all dead, the tall woman turned to her. "Promisers. I should have known." she spat. Ellana frowned.

"Promisers?" she asked.

"The Order of Fiery Promise is a cult with...strange beliefs about the Seekers. They've hounded us for centuries." she explained. Ellana nodded.

"Is it possible to negotiate with them?" she wondered. Cassandra snorted.

"They're fanatics, drunk on whatever forbidden magic they can find to make themselves 'true' Seekers. This explains why the Seekers might be here, but not the connection to Corypheus." she denied. Her expression was disgusted, and Ellana was surprised to see a hint of worry in the Seeker's amber eyes. Cassandra never worried about anything.

"We will solve this, Cassandra." she promised. The warrior smiled gratefully, and Ellana reminded herself that her friend was at risk of losing her people. That was enough to worry anyone. "Let's keep going."

They continued on their way through the keep, killing any Promisers that they came across. Ellana would have liked to interrogate some of them, but they fought like rabid animals, refusing to listen to reason. She wondered if that was because of the forbidden magic Cassandra had mentioned, or if it was just their devotion to their cause. Perhaps it was a little of both. When they reached the courtyard, Cassandra found a letter on one of the bodies.

"'The Seekers of Truth have proven resistant to the effects of Red Lyrium. The Elder One has seen fit to place them in your care. Reclaim your destiny, and know that the Elder One expects your devotion as repayment.' signed by Lord Samson, commander of the Red Templars." she frantically looked around the courtyard. "Does Corypheus not realize the Promisers want the world to end? What use are they to him?" she shouted. Ellana shook her head.

"Corypheus sold the Seekers to these cultists?" she asked. Cassandra scoffed.

"And they leapt at the chance, of course. But this doesn't explain how he captured the Seekers in the first place, or what's been done with them. We must keep looking." she pleaded.

"You sound worried." Ellana quietly pointed out. Cassandra sighed, and for a moment her brave mask fell.

"I am. The Seekers are my family." she admitted before heading off. Ellana was more determined than ever to help her. As someone who had lost her family, she wanted to prevent it from happening to anyone else. They kept searching through the keep, fighting off promisers along the way. When they neared the top, Cassandra yelped in surprise. Ellana saw a young man leaning against the stairs. "Daniel! Daniel, can you hear me?" Cassandra asked, rushing to his side.

"Cassandra? It...is you. You're alive." he grunted. It was clear he was in pain. Dark rivulets bloomed beneath the skin of his pale face, as if corruption itself flowed through his veins.

"As are you. I'm so glad I found you." Cassandra replied, voice full of relief. Ellana wasn't so sure she should be relieved yet. He did not look well at all. The boy, Daniel, shook his head. His features were twisted in agony.

"No, they...put a demon inside me. It's tearing me up." he whimpered. Cassandra involuntarily leaned back.

"What? You cannot be possessed, that's impossible!" she gasped.

"I'm not...possessed. They...fed me things. I can feel it growing." he cried. Speaking clearly exhausted him.

"The Promisers will pay for this." Ellana muttered.

"No. The Lord Seeker." Daniel croaked. Ellana's eyes widened in shock. Cassandra did not seem to understand what he was saying.

"Of course we'll find him. If he lives, we'll-" she began.

"Lucius betrayed us, Cassandra." he interrupted. Her friend sat back on her heels, horror plain on her face. "He sent us here, one by one. 'An important mission,' he said. Lies. He was here with them all along. He's still working with them." Cassandra's eyes narrowed.

"Cassandra..." Ellana murmured.

"Now is not the time for sympathy." she growled. Ellana rose to her feet, readying herself to continue on.

"Wait. Don't leave me like this. Please!" Daniel begged. Cassandra's face fell. For once all of her walls were down. Ellana had never seen her so vulnerable.

"You should have come with me. You didn't believe in the war any more than I did." she whispered. The lad chuckled.

"You know me. I wanted that promotion." he coughed. Cassandra drew her weapon, eyes closed.

"Go to the Maker's side, Daniel. You will be welcome." she answered softly. Ellana turned away, but she still heard the sound of sword slicing through flesh. Cassandra charged past her, sheathing her sword. "He was my apprentice. I have never known a finer young man. Now we find Lord Seeker Lucius." she growled. Ellana didn't question her, but followed her up the stairs. He was not difficult to find. They found him waiting in a clearing at the top of the keep, two Promisers by his side. Ellana tried to see the book he held in his arms, but he seemed to be guarding it. "Lord Seeker Lucius." Cassandra hissed.

"Cassandra! With a girl I can only assume is the new Inquisitor." he replied as if he were greeting a family member. Ellana scowled.

"You must be very proud of your handiwork." she noticed. He only arched an eyebrow at her. It was strange to see his form again. She had only met Envy's copy of the man, but he had the same doughy, pale face and beady eyes.

"I assume you know the Seekers were once the original Inquisition. Oh yes. We fought to restore order in a time of madness long ago, as you do now. And we became proud. We sought to remake the world, to make it better. But what did we create? The Chantry. The Circles of Magi. A war that will see no end." he rambled. She frowned.

" _We_ are not the original Inquisition." she reminded him.

"Of course you say that now." he shrugged.

"So you did all this because you hate our order?" Cassandra asked. She was completely baffled by what was happening.

"We Seekers are abominations, Cassandra." he bellowed. "We created a decaying world, and fought to preserve it even as it crumbled. We had to be stopped. You don't believe me? See for yourself." he tossed her the book that he had been hiding. The Seeker emblem was clear on the cover. Ellana wondered what secrets it contained. "The secrets of our order, passed to me after the former Lord Seeker was slain. The war with the mages had already begun, but it was not too late for me to do the right thing." he sounded completely mad.

"And _this_ was the right thing?" she asked in surprise.

"Lord Seeker, what you've done..." Cassandra tried to say.

"I know. What Corypheus did with the Templars does not matter. I have seen the future. I have created a new order to replace the old. The world will end so we can start anew. A pure beginning. Join us, Cassandra! It is the Maker's will!" he cheered. Ellana snorted as Cassandra snarled and drew her sword. She would waste no time killing the man. He was caught off guard by her quick action, and took her sword through his heart. Ellana hadn't even moved by the time the Lord Seeker was dead. His men quickly followed him into death. Cassandra picked up the book he had tossed her.

"He could not have destroyed all of us." she finally said. "I won't believe it!" They all followed her out, not wanting to linger in a place of such darkness.

* * *

Cassandra stared at the ancient pages on the table before her. She had already read the tome cover to cover, and then read it again, and she still could not believe what it contained. Her heart ached at what Lucius had done to her people, to Daniel. And yet, she could understand why the words in the book had driven him to madness. His methods were wrong, but that did not necessarily mean that he was. The Seekers needed to be reborn, remade into something new. She lifted her head when the Inquisitor cleared her throat from the doorway.

"This tome has passed from Lord Seeker to Lord Seeker since the time of the old Inquisition. And now it falls to me." she explained. Ellana sat down across from her, large gray-green eyes curious and inquisitive as she looked at the book.

"Are you all right? You look drained." the woman asked. Cassandra smiled softly. She remembered when Ellana had wanted to rip her head off, and now the woman was concerned about her. Odd how time changed things.

"On the contrary. It's a delight. I'm riveted." she teased.

"Oh, you're joking!" Ellana said delightedly. Cassandra shook her head ruefully.

"Do you know what the Rite of Tranquility is?" she asked. As expected, Ellana flinched. It was something that no mage liked to talk about, for good reason. "The last resort used on mages in the Circle, leaving them unable to cast but depriving them of dreams and all emotion. It should only be used on those that cannot control their abilities, but that has not always been the case." Ellana shook her head.

"It is a tragedy." she commented.

"I always thought it a necessary evil. What finally began the mage rebellion was the discovery that the Rite of Tranquility could be reversed. The Lord Seeker at the time covered it up. Harshly. There were deaths. It was dangerous knowledge. The shock of its discovery in addition to what was happening in Kirkwall...But...it appears we've _always_ known how to reverse the rite. From the beginning." she revealed. Ellana leaned back, a blank expression on her face.

"So...the rebellion could have been prevented." she finally said. Cassandra shrugged. She didn't know if that was really true.

"Perhaps. But it was a long time coming, for many reasons." she admitted. She cleared her throat to make way for the difficult part of what she had to say. "We...created the Rite of Tranquility. I told you of my vigil. The months I spent emptying myself of all emotion? I was made Tranquil, and didn't even know. Then the vigil summoned a spirit of Faith to touch my mind. That broke Tranquility, and gave me my abilities. The Seekers did not share that secret. Not with me. Not with the Chantry. Not even with..." she stood and walked over to the window, taking a moment to look at the innocent, unassuming people in the courtyard below. "There's more. Lucius was not wrong about the Order. I thought to rebuild the Seekers once victory was ours. Now I'm not certain they deserve to be rebuilt." she admitted. She did not hear Ellana join her by the window, and was startled when she spoke at her shoulder.

"Rebuild the Seekers. Make them better than they were." she encouraged. She looked down at the small woman beside her. The thought of changing the world on her own was terrifying, and yet, here stood a woman who had done just that. Ellana might have had the backing of the Inquisition, but it was her own tenacity and determination that made changes happen, not the organization. Even after everything Ellana had been through, she still tried to make the world better. How could she herself do any less?

"Thank you. I could not have done this on my own." she finally answered. A slight blush rose in her friend's cheeks. The girl did not think she was deserving of the praise that she received.

"I think you could have, but I'm always willing to help." she acknowledged before leaving Cassandra alone. The warrior smiled after her. The Inquisition was in good hands.


	23. Chapter 23

Ellana stared out across the Storm Coast, trying to ignore the torrent of rain that pelted her face. The last few days had been horrible. She had gone with Sera to meet a Red Jenny contract, which had ended fairly well for the Inquisition in that they gained a powerful ally and his lands, but Sera hadn't been too pleased about it. She wanted to, how had she put it? _"_ _Stomp that pissbag's squishy head in_." The girl had been grumpy ever since. She had basically been unfit to live with, so Ellana was worried about how she would react in the situation they were in now.

Iron Bull had approached her and asked if they could go to the Storm Coast with the Chargers to help one of his Qunari contacts fight some Venatori. Ellana had agreed, as it gave the Inquisition the opportunity to make a powerful ally. When they arrived at the coast, the Chargers had gone to one checkpoint while she and her party had gone to another with Bull's contact, Gatt. Things had been going quite well, at least until a group of Venatori reinforcements showed up. Now Gatt was hollering at Bull to abandon the Chargers and save the Dreadnought. Ellana had argued for the opposite choice. Suddenly, Sera shoved her way to the front and pointed a finger at Gatt.

"Listen up, shitbag, thems on the boat don't give a flying blarp about us, why should we care about them?" she asked.

"If you do not save them, there will be no chance of an alliance with the Qunari, and that could be very-" Gatt began.

"Oh blah blah blah, the big people will be angry. Who gives a piss? Bull doesn't need the big people anymore, he's got us little people." she interrupted. Ellana smiled softly as she saw Bull's expression soften. He raised the horn to his lips.

"Don't do it, Hissrad!" Gatt urged. The clear peal that came from the horn made Ellana's smile widen. She could see the Chargers falling back, running to safety.

"They're falling back." Bull murmured. Ellana nodded in agreement. It seemed their friends were safe. Gatt was pacing back and forth, anger and disappointment clear in his face.

"All these years, Hissrad, and you throw away all that you are. For what? For this? For _them_?" he spat. Ellana glowered at him.

"His _name_ is The Iron Bull." she hissed. She did not see the pride that emanated from Bull's face. She would have surely grinned if she had. Gatt stalked off, leaving them alone. They stared down as they saw the Venatori launching fire at the dreadnought.

"No way they'll get out of range. It won't be long now." Bull commented. She furrowed her brow.

"Bull, when the dreadnought sinks-" she began.

"Sinks?" he scoffed. Her eyes widened in realization. "Qunari dreadnoughts don't sink." he said, his revelation punctuated by a massive explosion in the sea. A spray of water hit them even as far away as they were. She could hear the screams of the Venatori who had been on the beach. Some of them were missing limbs, and others were dead. They had been too close to the explosion. "Come on, let's get back to my boys." Bull grunted, turning and striding off. She wasn't sure if she would be able to forget the sounds of the carnage below them.

* * *

When they arrived back at Skyhold a few days later, she was surprised to see Bull standing with Gatt. The elf had a scowl on his face and was looking at her friend with such disgust that she wanted to light him on fire. Nobody messed with her friends. Bull seemed to catch her mood.

"Hey Boss." he called. Leaving over so that only she could hear, he murmured "Let's save the fire for our real enemies, all right?" She huffed at him, but crossed her arms in compliance. Her glare to Gatt was so fiery he should have burst into flames anyway.

"Inquisitor, it is my duty to inform you that there will be no alliance between our peoples." Gatt began.

"Pity." she quipped drily. Bull snorted. Gatt glowered at her.

"Nor will you be receiving any more Ben-Hassrath reports from your Tal-Vashoth ally." he spat. Bull folded his arms as well, his massive muscles flexing threateningly as he did so.

"You under orders to kill me, Gatt?" he inquired. The anger faded from Gatt's face, and sadness replaced it. Ellana reminded herself that Bull had been his friend too.

"No. The Ben-Hassrath have already lost one good man. They'd rather not lose two." he admitted before leaving them. Ellana and Bull watched him until he could be seen leaving the gates of Skyhold.

"So much for that." Bull growled. She could sense his mood, and decided to focus on business.

"The loss of the Ben-Hassrath information will hurt. Can we smoke out some of your old contacts?" she inquired. He straightened, approval in his eyes.

"They'll pull their people soon enough, but we might be able to identify the agents who replaced them." he agreed. Krem approached then, a grin on his face. "You're late." Bull pointed out. The grin slipped a bit, but was then replaced.

"Sorry, Chief. Still sore from fighting off all those Vints. Good to see you Inquisitor." he greeted. Ellana looked at Bull, wondering if he had told his men about his sacrifice. A slight shake of his head, barely noticeable, told her that he had not. But there was a look in Krem's eyes that told her he knew exactly what his leader had given up for them.

"That fight against the Venatori was a bit dicey." she commented. Krem nodded.

"We knew that you and the Chief had our backs, Your Worship. Chief's even breaking open a cask of Chasind Sack Mead for the Chargers tonight." he chuckled. Bull groaned.

"Damn it, Krem! That's the kind of thing you _don't_ have to mention to the Inquisitor." he said, charging at him with his shield.

"Sorry, Chief." Krem said, taking the blow and shoving Bull back. The large man shook his head ruefully, a small smile on his face.

"Ahh, forget it. You're doing fine." he decided, dropping his shield. Ellana nodded in agreement before leaving them alone. She caught a glimpse of a glowering Sera in the window of the tavern and decided to visit her, sighing as she did so. She knew she was just going to walk into a tantrum. When she reached Sera's room, she walked right in and sat at the bay window.

"What? What do you want? Because I'm still angry. Angry face." Sera babbled as she sat beside her. Ellana took a deep breath. "You made a deal with that pisshead! After everything, you made a deal! What's wrong with you?" she continued.

"I did what I thought was best," Ellana said before the girl could continue her rant. "It wasn't ideal, and I apologize." Sera's eyes widened in surprise.

"What? Really?" she asked. It was as if no one had ever apologized to her before. Ellana chuckled in her mind. Knowing Sera, anyone who had tried to apologize had probably been killed before she gave them a chance.

"Really." she agreed.

"Well...good then." a frown appeared on her face. "Right, what do you mean, because I am really not use to this...acceptance thing you're doing right there." Ellana took another deep breath.

"We'll have some differences, but I want to be one of your friends." she finally said. It was strange to say. The girl drove her insane, and was a complete loose cannon, but she had some kind of strange, motherly affection for her. Sera raised an eyebrow. The action made the unevenness of her bangs more clear. Ellana wondered if she just took a knife to her own hair. Probably.

"You're pretty big to be one of my contacts. Important, I mean. Not fat. But all right, Inquisitor. You're on my good side. Let's see if it lasts." she said with a wide, goofy grin. Ellana smiled back. Hopefully she would manage to stay there.

* * *

Dorian took a deep breath before knocking softly on the door. He hadn't spoken to Iron Bull since the incident with the Qunari. He didn't know what to say. This...vulnerable, emotional stuff wasn't something he was used to. He heard a grunt that told him he could come in. He shook his head. Ruffian. He walked in and sat beside him on the bed. For a long time, they just sat there, not saying anything.

"You know what really bugs me?" Bull finally grumbled. Dorain arched an eyebrow at him.

"What?" he wondered.

"The Boss." he replied. The mage faced him, surprise on his face.

"Ellana? What about her?" he asked. He was prepared to defend the irritable little elf if he had to. Bull stood and threw his hands in the air.

"She's just. Ugh. She's so...she's so damn good." he roared. Dorian blinked.

"Come again?" he asked.

"She always just...she knows what the right decision is. She knows exactly what she needs to do in every situation. She always makes the right choice without any hesitation. It isn't fucking fair." he spat. Dorian went to join him by the window.

"I think she struggles like the rest of us mere mortals. She's just better at hiding it than the rest of us." he pointed out. Bull grunted wordlessly. "What is this really about, Bull?" The Qunari slammed his fist against the wall, causing dirt and plaster to cascade from the ceiling.

"I don't know if I would have done the right thing if she hadn't been there." he admitted.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, I don't know if, had the Boss not been there, I would have saved my men. I could have saved the dreadnought instead. I could have slipped right back into the old Hissrad. The liar. And then I see Krem, and I see the others, and I feel so damn guilty because I had to look to another person to make the decision to save their lives." he was shouting by the end of it. Dorian shook his head.

"I don't believe that." he said.

"Why the hell not?" Bull growled.

"Because if that is really who you were, if you were really still Hissrad, you would have let your men die regardless of what Ellana thought. I'm not saying she hasn't had a good influence on you. Andraste knows she's been a damn good influence on all of us. She has really hurt my scandalous image. I'm saying that you are a good enough person to make the right decisions on your own." he argued. Bull stared at him.

"You believe in me that much?" he asked. Dorian stared right back. He hated admitting feelings. It was the worst, most unpleasant thing a person could do.

"I do." he answered quietly. He wasn't sure how Iron Bull had pinned him against the wall, lips roaming his mouth and neck, but it was certainly pleasant.

"Thank you." he growled between kisses. As his lover began tearing at his clothes, a question formed in Dorian's mind.

"What is this, Bull?" he asked. He stopped in the act of tugging off his pants.

"What is what, Dorian?" he replied. Dorian tsked.

"This! Us! What are we doing? Where do you want it to go? How do your people...show someone they mean something to them?" he asked. His face was certainly red. He was so angry about his embarrasment that he almost wanted to leave.

"That's up to you. If you want it light and casual, that's fine with me." Dorian could hear the lie, but it was so faint he almost missed it. "Qunari don't have sex for love. But, if there is someone they really care about, there is this old tradition. You find a dragon's tooth, break it in half, and you each wear a piece. Then, no matter how far apart life takes you, you're always together." he admitted.

"Good to know." Dorian replied before attacking Bull's clothes in a frenzy. They both needed the distraction.


	24. Chapter 24

The war council had been meeting for hours discussing the ball at the Winter Palace. Josephine had finally obtained an invitation for members of the Inquisition, and she had been in a flurry of preparation ever since.

"We have to reach the Empress before Corypheus. The only question is: how?" Cullen asked. She found that she missed him. He had been doing his best to stay professional with her, and they had not discussed what had happened between them. Even with all the confusion they had between them, she missed her friend.

"We know how. I have our way in. The real question is: where is our enemy hiding?" she turned to Ellana. "At the urging of Grand Duchess Florianne, the empress is holding a ball. Absolutely everyone will be there. During the festivities, Celene will be meeting for peace talks with the usurper Duke Gaspard and Ambassador Briala." she reiterated.

"The assassin must be hiding within one of these factions." Leliana reminded her.

"What do we know about Gaspard?" Ellana asked.

"The man who would have been emperor. He is Celene's cousin, and was first in line to inherit the throne when Emperor Florian died. Celene outmaneuvered him. She won over the Council of Heralds, who holds authority over title disputes. She became empress, and he a general in the Imperial Army. He's well loved by the troops. He's also a chevalier. Most of their number sided with him when he turned on the Empress." Cullen explained. Ellana frowned. None of these politics made any sense to her.

"Aren't the Chevaliers part of the army? Why would they follow the Duke?" she asked.

"Most Chevaliers are sworn to serve the crown, but that does not give them faith in the person wearing it. The Empress has tried to improve relations with Ferelden and Nevarra. The Chevaliers see her as anti-military. They believe Gaspard could lead the Empire back to the glory of Drakon's expansion years." he concluded. The Orlesian military seemed greedy, to her. If Celene wanted peace between nations, she was probably a better ruler than Gaspard would be, in her opinion. Clans did not succeed and grow by warring with other clans.

"Who is Ambassador Briala?" she wondered. Leliana chuckled.

"An ambassador in name only. She has organized the elves of Halamshiral into an underground army. The empress invited her to the peace talks in a bid to gain the elves' alliance in the war. That would be scandal enough, without the rumor that Briala is a jilted lover of Celene's. A personal grudge and a network of saboteurs at her command? A promising lead." the spymaster revealed. Ellana's eyes widened.

"You're saying the elven leader is a jilted lover of the Empress?" she asked in surprise. Leliana shrugged. Apparently, in her mind, that wasn't that big of a deal.

"It's not widely known. Just a rumor whispered among the palace servants a few years ago. If it's true and were to get out—the empress and an elf—the scandal could destroy Celene's court." Ellana couldn't stop herself from looking at Cullen, and found herself wondering why her face felt warm. "Even if a lie, Briala could use it to blackmail the Empress. She has some connection to the throne." Leliana finished. Ellana nodded.

"And the Empress? What do we know of her?" she asked. Josephine was unsurprisingly the one to answer.

"Empress Celene is a renowned diplomat and reformer. She works tirelessly to secure peace for the Empire. Unfortunately, many Orlesians view peace as complacency. She has yet to name an heir, leaving the future of the Empire in doubt if anything happens to her. Especially when the next in line is her cousin, Gaspard, who's made few friends in the Council of Heralds." Josephine recited.

"Celene is surrounded at all times by countless guards, courtiers, servants, and vassals. What better place for an assassin to hide than the Empress's own household?" Leliana added. Ellana wanted to tear out her hair.

"How can Gaspard still be next in line while he wages war against his Empress?" she asked. Shems were so odd. Cullen smiled fondly at her, and she ignored the fluttering in her stomach.

"The title 'Grand Duke' indicates that he was a prince before the Empress took the throne." he explained. It still didn't make a lot of sense, but she didn't think there was a chance of understanding it any more than she already did.

"You've given me plenty to think about." she admitted.

"With Gaspard and Celene's armies entrenched, we cannot openly march troops to the palace." Cullen pointed out.

"My agents will ensure your soldiers get inside, but it must be a few at a time to avoid attention." Leliana suggested.

"Understood. Just give the word, and we'll begin." Cullen agreed. Ellana nodded.

"Begin as soon as we can." she decided. Cullen bowed his head to her.

"The ball takes place in six weeks' time. We will leave for Orlais three days from now in order to settle ourselves. Please refrain from taking on anything serious for the time being, Inquisitor. We will need you here when we leave." Josephine suggested. Suggested was the right word, but Ellana knew that it was really an order.

"I understand." she agreed before leaving her advisors. She found Solas waiting for her in the hallway, and beamed at his approach. "Solas." she said fondly. He grinned at her.

"Inquisitor. I want to take you somewhere. Do you have time?" he asked. She smiled as he kissed her cheek.

"I always have time for you." she agreed.

"I'm going to take you on a little adventure." he promised. She wondered where this would lead.

* * *

He guided her through a dark cave near Crestwood. They had promised to return in time to leave for Orlais, though Josephine hadn't been pleased at their decision to leave. Solas did not care. He had thought long and hard about this. He was going to tell her the truth. The truth about who he was. The truth about what he was planning to do. She would understand. She loved him, and he had never loved anyone more than he loved her. She deserved his honesty. But he needed to do this in private, far away from the pressures of their organization. As they emerged from the cave, he took in the beauties of the small cove he had discovered once, long ago. It was quiet, the only sounds to be heard was the rustling of wind and the trickling of water into the pond. Florescent blue bugs flitted about, lighting up the area.

"The Veil is thin here. Can you feel it on your skin, tingling?" he asked. She smiled at him. She was so beautiful. She was perfect. He reached out with a hand and cupped her cheek, relishing in the softness of her pale skin. "I was trying to determine some way to show you what you mean to me." he admitted. A playful spark entered her gray-green eyes.

"I'm listening, and I can offer a few suggestions." she murmured suggestively. He grinned.

"I shall bear that in mind. For now, the best gift I can offer is...the truth." he began. The playfulness left her face, replaced by rapt attention. He knew she wanted to know more about him, just as he wanted to know more about her. She was the most intriguing mystery, and his love for her was probably the most mysterious thing of all. He had never felt this way about another person. It amazed him. "You are unique. In all of Thedas, I never expected to meet someone who could draw my attention from the Fade. You have become important to me. More important than I could have imagined." Her soft smile set fire to his heart.

"As you are to me." she breathed.

"Then what I must tell you...the truth..." he began...and stopped. He stared down at her. She was so good, so pure. She wanted to help _this_ world, not his. What he wanted would hurt many people. He couldn't tell her about that. Not yet. He grasped for something he could reveal to her. Her face. The marks that seemed to dance across her cheeks. The _Vallaslin_. What they really meant. "Your face. The _Vallaslin_. In my journeys in the Fade, I have seen things. I have discovered what those marks mean." he said quickly. She looked confused. He thought she knew that he had intended to tell her something else. She seemed to be able to detect his lies better than anyone he had ever known.

"They honor the Elven gods." she reminded him. He shook his head.

"No. They are slave markings, or at least, they were in the time of ancient Arlathan." he revealed. Despair and denial crossed her beautiful features. The harshness that he loved so much made an appearance as her brow furrowed.

"My clan's Keeper said they honored the gods. These are their symbols." she argued.

"Yes, that's right. A noble would mark his slaves to honor the god he worshipped. After Arlathan fell, the Dalish forgot." he admitted. His heart broke as hers did. Her face fell.

"So this is...what? Just one more thing my people got wrong?" she asked. Her eyes filled with tears.

"I'm sorry." he murmured. He didn't want to hurt her. This was all going wrong. He hadn't wanted any of this to happen.

"We try to preserve our culture, and this is what we keep? Relics of a time when we were no better than Tevinter?" she asked, anger laced through her sorrow.

"Don't say that. For all they got wrong, the Dalish did one thing right. They made you." he said, putting a hand under her chin and looking into her eyes. "I didn't tell you this to hurt you. If you like, I know a spell. I can remove the _Vallaslin_." he suggested. She pulled away from him, another unexpected reaction. As she turned and looked at the water, he wondered what she was remembering.

"These marks have been part of me for so long. I don't know if..." she hesitated.

"I'm so sorry for causing you pain. It was selfish of me. I look at you and I see what you truly are. And you deserve better than what those cruel marks represent." he urged. He wanted her to have freedom from the oppressive symbols. He couldn't tell her what he had intended to, but he could give her that. Her answer surprised him.

"I know you told me because you wanted to help, but the _Vallaslin_ is part of who I am. I hope you can see past-" she began.

"Stop. You are perfect exactly as you are." he said truthfully. He couldn't stop himself from leaning in to kiss her. Her lips were so soft, so sweet against his. His hand reached up to tangle in her silky black hair, the other pressed against the small of her back. He loved her. He would do anything for her. He would give up everything to have her, including...including the mission he had dedicated his life to. He pulled away as the realization hit him. In order to save his people as he intended, he had to give her up. He wondered if she could see the horror on his face as she stared up at him. He couldn't have her, not fully, not ever. She would never agree with what he had to do. She would fight him, and he would let her win. It was something that he could not do. It went against everything he was.

"And I am sorry. I distracted you from your duty. It will never happen again." he said, his voice a monotone. Hurt filled the eyes that he had let himself drown in for too long.

"Solas..." she breathed as realization hit her. He stepped away from her.

"Please, _vhenan_." he snapped. She blinked away tears.

"Solas, don't leave me. Not now! I love you!" she cried. It felt like she was ripping his heart from his chest. He had to look down to be sure there wasn't a gaping hole. He shook his head, realizing that if he stayed any longer he would lose his will to leave.

"You have a rare and marvelous spirit. In another world..." he trailed off.

"Why not this one?" she asked fiercely. He continued to back away from her.

"I can't." he breathed. "I'm sorry." he quickly walked out of the clearing, leaving her alone by the waterfall. He couldn't let her see him cry.


	25. Chapter 25

Hours. That was how much time she spent in the cove he had brought her to. Hours alone. Hours crying. Hours heartbroken. Hours betrayed. Why had he done this? Why had he left her like that, after everything he had done? After everything she had done for him? She should have known. She didn't deserve him, of course he left her. She sat on a rock beside the pond, not wanting to move. Her thoughts raced. She touched her cheek, where she knew her _Vallaslin_ still stood stark against her cheeks. Had he left her because she kept them? Was he reminded of a slave when he looked at her face? She couldn't just get rid of them. When he offered, she had thought of Mahanon, of how proud he had been when she chose her marks. She couldn't remove that memory from her skin any more than she could take it from her mind. No. There had been more to it. She had heard the lie in his voice when he told her. Her _Vallaslin_ was not why he had brought her here.

"Ellana?" a voice called. She turned, seeing Dorian at the mouth of the cave.

"How did you find me?" she asked softly. Her friend sat beside her.

" _He_ told me where you were." he admitted. She gave a shaky laugh.

"Great news, Dorian: You were right. You were right not to trust him." she breathed. He put an arm around her shoulders.

"I didn't want this for you. You know I want nothing but happiness for you." he disagreed. She leaned into him, feeling comforted by the gesture. Once she had flinched at every touch. She almost laughed at how much things had changed.

"You aren't going to say 'I told you so'?" she asked. He scoffed.

"I'm a little offended that you think I would." he admitted. She sighed.

"I don't think you would." she promised. For a while they sat in silence, listening to the waterfall hitting the pond.

"I will sit with you as long as you want, but I think the others might start to worry." Dorian said after a time.

"They know?" she asked.

"They know. _He_ wasn't exactly quiet about what happened. Nearly ripped my head off when I asked where you were." he growled.

"I thought you said he told you where to find me." she asked.

"Well, technically he told Cullen." Dorian revealed. Ellana blinked in surprise. Why would Solas tell Cullen? He hated Cullen. Solas. Thinking his name was like a knife in the heart. He had hurt her in a way she had never been hurt before. She had lost love, but before it had been ripped away from her against their will. She had never had love choose to leave. There had to be something wrong with her, right? Why else would someone choose to leave when they had love? She was surprised when she realized she was crying on Dorian's shoulder. She wasn't used to crying in front of others. She looked up at him.

"What did I do wrong?" she pleaded. He couldn't know, and she knew that, but she had to ask. There had to be someone who could tell her how she had messed everything up. His face softened.

"You did nothing wrong, Peanut. He is the one who messed this thing up." he assured her, saying the opposite of what her own mind told her.

"I just...I don't understand why. He told me he loved me, told me how important I was to him, and then suddenly we're just...not together anymore? Why would anyone give up the love we had?" she babbled. He sighed and shook his head.

"I can't say I know what is going on in the man's head, Ellana, but maybe he loved you too much to let you get hurt by whatever he plans to do with his life." he threw out. She wondered if he was right. She shook her head. Having lost what she had, she would never just give up something good like that. Something had to be wrong.

"Can we go now? I...I just want to get away from here." she asked. Dorian didn't hesitate to help her up. The pair left the cove behind. She hoped she would never have to see the place again.

* * *

"Stop. You are perfect exactly as you are. But then you turned away. Why?" Cole asked. Solas rubbed at his temples. He liked the spirit, but he was in his head a bit too much for his liking.

"I had no choice." he replied. The Inquisitor had returned days ago. He hadn't seen her and she hadn't seen him. She hadn't even tried to find him, and today was the day that she would be heading off to Orlais. It was for the best. He had to believe that.

"She feels her face, marked, marred without malice. She didn't know. She thinks it's why you walked away." the spirit pleaded. He only wanted to help. He felt everyone's pain, and he just wanted to take it away.

"You cannot heal this, Cole. Let her carry her anger in peace." he said, slamming his hand on the table. It was too much to bear.

"Perhaps Cole can get a better answer from you than I did." her voice said from the doorway to the rotunda. He froze. How long had she been there? Her eyes, her beautiful eyes, were red-rimmed and cold. She was angry now, not sad. He felt a spike of fear. What if she wouldn't let him stay? What if she wouldn't let him help her? Cole was nodding enthusiastically.

"He hurts, an old pain from before, when everything sang the same. You're real and it means everyone could be real. It changes everything, but it can't. They sleep, masked in a mirror, hiding, hurting, and to wake them..." Cole gasped. "Where did it go?"

"I apologize, Cole. _That_ is not a pain you can heal." he said, voice rough. The tension in the room was thick. Cole didn't understand what was going on, the Inquisitor was seething, and Solas was broken. He was also afraid of what she would do now.

* * *

She stared at him, wondering why he seemed afraid. She was still upset, still heartbroken, but mostly, she was angry. On her journey back with Dorian, and in the days that followed, her friend had made her realize that she deserved an explanation. She didn't deserve to be left in the dark about why someone who was so important to her, someone she loved, was suddenly not going to be in her life anymore. It had taken her a few days to build up the courage, but finally she had stormed to the rotunda to confront him. She knew that if she hadn't, she would spend her entire mission in Orlais worrying about it.

"Cole, you should go." she said quietly.

"Your heart, it is angry, like a wildfire. It does not matter what burns as long as it leads you to the truth." the boy said. She arched an eyebrow at him.

"Cole. I need to do this on my own, please." she requested. The boy looked fearfully at both of them before scurrying away.

"Inquisitor, if you need assistance with Corypheus, I am willing to help. However, I don't think there is anything else here for you." Solas said, adding fuel to the fire that raged within her.

"You don't get out of this that easily." she said, pointing a finger at him. He nodded solemnly. It was like he was another person. Not the one she had fallen in love with. Not the one who had loved her.

"I understand your anger. I am furious with myself as well. But, for now, we must focus on what matters. Harden your heart to a cutting edge, and put that pain to good use against Corypheus." he suggested. She paused. That is what she had done when she lost Mahanon. She had hardened herself so much, made such a cutting edge, that she drove everyone away. Hardening herself had caused her to be alone. She wouldn't do that again. Being alone was worse than being in pain. She knew that now.

"It would help me if you could explain why." she admitted. Solas huffed.

"The answers would only lead to more questions. An emotional entanglement that would benefit neither of us. The blame is mine, not yours. It was irresponsible and selfish of me. Let that be enough." he argued. She groaned.

"I don't know why I even tried to talk with you." she lied in exasperation.

"Because you were hurt! Because I made a selfish mistake. Because you deserve better. Pick any reason. Let me know if I can be of any more help." he said truthfully. She stared at him for a long time, letting the silence be her goodbye. Did he mean what he said? Did he really blame himself? She sighed and left the rotunda. It wasn't a place she would be visiting in the future. One thing was certainly true: She deserved better. That knowledge helped lighten her mood.

Ellana made her way to the courtyard, where the others waited for her. Josephine rushed about in a flurry of preparation, ordering workers around as she tried to get everything ready to leave for Orlais. She saw Cullen speaking with Leliana. He looked at her for a long time before nodding respectfully. She nodded back, and smiled at him. His answering smile made her feel a bit better about everything that had happened. Iron Bull and Dorian chatted amicably beside one of the carriages, with Dorian saying something that caused Bull to loudly guffaw, scaring a nearby washerwoman. She was glad that Dorian and Bull were making each other happy. She walked around the carriage and almost ran right into Varric.

She had not seen much of the dwarf since the events at Adamant. For the most part he had not wanted to speak to anyone, preferring instead to write letters to the various people Hawke had cared about. He had been driven into further seclusion when he received a scathing letter from Sebastian, Hawke's former lover, criticizing Varric for not protecting her. Ellana shook her head sadly. She still held the blame for that in her heart.

"Hey, Peaches." Varric greeted. She tilted her head, studying him.

"How are you?" she asked, not wanting to go into detail. He looked up at her with a sad smile.

"It's been shitty. I can't lie about that. But I also can't keep wallowing in it. Shutting myself away isn't going to bring her back. And she would probably start haunting me if I stayed in my rooms any longer. She was a pain in the ass that way." he joked. She smiled at him, and he returned it. She was glad to see a genuine smile on his face. The smile faded and he became serious. "How are you? I heard about what happened with Chuckles." he asked. She glanced in the direction of the rotunda with a sigh.

"You know, Varric, I think I'll be all right." she admitted. He grinned at her.

"Good. I wasn't really in the mood to yell at Chuckles for being an idiot today." he said in mock relief. She laughed.

"It's good to have you back, Varric." she said.

"It's good to be back, Peaches." he agreed. She smiled as she went to mount her horse. She was starting to think things might end up all right.


	26. Chapter 26

"There is no way I am wearing that thing." Ellana drawled, finger extended at the horrifying gown Josephine had picked out for her. Why were there so many ribbons? And ruffles? It was absolutely festooned with them! The ambassador rolled her eyes.

"Inquisitor, the court needs to see you as a leader. You cannot impress the people wearing your usual armor." she replied, nose wrinkled in distaste.

"So you'd rather dress me up like a doll in some 'proper' shemlen clothes? I am Dalish, Josephine. Nobody is going to take me seriously if I walk in wearing that...that thing!" she argued. Josephine threw her hands into the air.

"Well what would you suggest?" she asked, exasperated. Ellana chuckled.

"This armor is not the only thing I have, Ambassador." she said, turning and opening a special chest that was full of her personal belongings. She pulled out the article in question, and a considering look crossed Josephine's face.

"This...this could work. Put it on." the woman ordered. Ellana motioned for the woman to turn around before doing as she was told. Josephine clapped excitedly. "What is this?" she asked. Ellana looked down at the clothes she wore. It was only clothing, but it was made of a material strong enough to stop an arrow from punching through you. It was a deep green color, hugging tightly to her body until just above the knees, where it pulled away in a jagged edge. Dark, soft-soled boots laced up to her thigh were the only coverage on her legs. Laced throughout the green tunic was a soft white leather stitched with intricate patterns depicting the tales of her people. It was something she hadn't worn in a very long time.

"It is the ceremonial wear of a Dalish Keeper. I made it many years ago." she told her. Josephine lightly touched the fabric, genuine awe in her expression. The woman's curiosity was something Ellana liked about her. She may be a little too interested in pleasing nobles, but she was genuinely interested in everything she did not understand. It was a charming quality.

"It is beautiful. What do the patterns mean?" she asked with rapt attention. Ellana smiled. She was almost like a child with her curiosity.

"They tell the stories of my people." she explained, gesturing to her side. "This one tells the story of the trickster, Fen'Harel, and how he fooled the Gods and locked them away in their realms, never allowing them to interact with the mortal world again. This one here tells of how Mythal calmed Elgar'nan and convinced him to free the sun, then created the moon to balance its fire. Keepers often wear these to _Arlathven_ to aid in storytelling." Josephine nodded, wonder in her eyes.

"I think it is perfect." she decided. Ellana smiled shyly. She hadn't had much of a chance to show her culture to her people, and it was nice to finally do so. The ambassador led her over to a chaise and motioned for her to sit down. The woman nervously brushed a stray lock of hair out of her face and tucked it neatly behind her ear. "Inquisitor, I must be honest with you: The Winter Palace will be...difficult."

"Difficult?" Ellana asked.

"Well, difficult is a massive understatement. While there are many fine qualities in the people of Orlais, a large number of the court is...well...they're horribly racist. They will immediately judge you for being an elf. It will set you beneath them in their eyes. It is one thing that I hate about nobility. They are too quick to judge by a person's station rather than their character. You are going to have to work twice as hard as anyone else to get them to respect you." her eyes were watering, and Ellana thought she might cry. "Being head of the Inquisition will help, but still...I felt I must apologize beforehand...My people can be cruel without cause." Ellana patted her ruffled shoulder.

"Josephine, I appreciate the warning. To be honest, I am not worried. Being a 'knife-ear' is something I have always dealt with. My job is to keep Celene safe. If I happen to win over the court while doing so, that is just an extra benefit." she assured her. Josephine nodded and stood. "And Josephine?" the woman turned back to her. "You are better than all of them." the Antivan's smile was wide.

"Thank you, Inquisitor." she said before curtsying out of the room. Ellana looked at herself in the mirror. She had a long night ahead.

* * *

She had expected some strange looks when she stepped out of the carriage, but she was vastly unprepared. Literally every person at the Winter Palace stopped to stare at her for at least a moment. She had to fight not to squirm beneath their scrutiny. Forcing herself not to play with her hair was difficult, as Josephine had had it done up in some sort of fancy bun, something she had never done before. She also wore a mask; a pretty white thing that sat atop her cheekbones and was an exact mirror of her _Vallaslin_. When she asked Josephine how they had gotten the markings so perfect, the ambassador told her that Commander Cullen had sketched them during one of their meetings at the war table. Ellana had blushed furiously upon learning this. She had no idea he paid that much attention to her. A pang of sadness gripped her at the thought of her _Vallaslin_ , memories of Solas drifting through her mind.

"The political situation in Halamshiral hangs by a thread. The Empress fears our presence could sever it. The Grand Duke is only too happy to have us at the ball as his guests, so our invitation comes from him. Whether we act as allies, or upset the balance of power, he gains an opportunity...if not a clear advantage." Josephine explained softly, somehow ignoring all the stares directed their way. Being surrounded by her own group comforted her a little, though it was still a strange experience.

The Winter Palace was glorious, to say the least. Massive fountains decorated with the golden lions of Orlais were scattered across the sizable grounds. The white walls of the fortress were covered in hanging vines with various flowers laced through them. The gardens they walked through were different from the usual forests she was used to. They were too manicured, too neat, but they still made her gape in awe at their beauty.

"It is a great pleasure to meet you, Inquisitor Lavellan." a man said, striding forward. A gold mask rested on his face, and Ellana struggled to remember what all the different masks meant. She thought it bore the emblem of Chalons, so it must be Gaspard. "The rumors coming out of the Western Approach say you battled an army of demons. Imagine what the Inquisition could accomplish with the full support of the rightful Emperor of Orlais!" he cheered. Ellana immediately did not like him. He was pompous, and he seemed blinded by a quest for power.

"And which one _was_ the rightful one, again? I keep getting them confused." she drawled. Josephine's hiss told her she should have held her tongue.

"The handsome, charming one of course, my lady." the Duke replied with a bow and a chuckle. She was glad the mask hid her wrinkling nose. "I am not a man who forgets his friends, Inquisitor. You help me, I'll help you. My lady, are you prepared to shock the court by walking into the Grand Ball with a hateful usurper? They will be telling stories of this into the next age." he asked before leading them inside. More stares filled the gilded hall, and she put all her energy into looking forward. When they entered the ballroom, Ellana couldn't help but gape. She had never seen anything like it.

Golden carvings swirled around columns that rose taller than the trees of the forests she had grown up in, touching a ceiling that was painted to reflect all the beauties of a night sky. Stained glass that reached nearly as high as the ceiling caught the fading light of the setting sun, dotting the marble floor with vibrant colors. Everywhere she looked, people were dancing, gliding across the floor with their partners as if they had never traveled any other way. She winced. Josephine had made her learn the steps, in the event that she would have to dance, but she had not been comfortable with any of her partners. She was certain she would mess everything up. A masked marquis directed her onto the ballroom floor, her companions following close behind. They announced Gaspard before gesturing at her.

"And accompanying him, Lady Inquisitor Lavellan. Shepherd and leash of the wayward order of Templars, purger of the heretics from the ranks of the faithful!" the man cried. Ellana blinked behind her mask. He was insane.

"He tells better fiction than I do." she heard Varric mutter to Cullen. The Commander grunted in agreement.

"Champion of the blessed Andraste herself!" the marquis added. Cullen snorted with laughter behind her.

"Did you see their faces?" his warm voice asked just behind her ear. She knew she was blushing. It was the first thing he had said to her in a long time. They hadn't spoken since Solas had left her, and she was grateful that he had given her space. She did miss him though. She strode calmly across the floor as her companions and advisors were announced. She could see Celene, watching from above with an easy grace that she would never be able to attain. The woman's white-blonde hair was gathered in a sleek style at the back of her neck. Her face was hidden by a silver mask etched with the symbols of her house, but Ellana could see a pair of cool, calculating eyes behind it. The Empress was not as frivolous as she seemed.

"My dear sister." Gaspard said to a woman who stood beside Celene. That made the beady eyed lady Florianne. Her hair was cut so that she looked like a rooster, and her mouth was cruel, though twisted into a smile. Ellana did not like the look of her at all.

"Grand Duke. We are always honored when your presence graces our court." the Empress called. Her heavily accented voice was low and pleasant. It had a calmness that matched her demeanor.

"Don't waste my time with pleasantries, Celene. We have business to conclude." Gaspard spat. Ellana was impressed that the Empress did not flinch. In fact, she had no reaction. What could be seen of her face remained the same pleasant mask it had before.

"We will meet for the negotiations after we have seen to our other guests." she replied with a warm smile. Gaspard gave her a mocking bow before leaving Ellana alone on the platform. She was uncertain if she should follow, but then Celene spoke. "Lady Inquisitor, we welcome you to the Winter Palace. Allow us to present our cousin, the Grand Duchess of Lydes, without whom this gathering would have never been possible." she introduced. Florianne curtsied.

"What an unexpected pleasure. I was not aware the Inquisition would be part of our festivities." she drawled. There was something in her tone that gave Ellana pause. She would need to watch this woman. "We will certainly speak later, Inquisitor."

"Your arrival at court is like a cool wind on a summer's day." Celene mentioned. Ellana smiled at the woman, wondering how many people were fooled by her fluttery facade.

"Let's hope the breeze does not herald an oncoming storm." she replied in kind. Celene's lips twitched in a small smile.

"Even the wisest mistake fair winds for foul. We are at the mercy of the skies, Inquisitor. How do you find Halamshiral?" she wondered.

"I've never seen anything to equal the Winter Palace." she answered honestly.

"We hope you will find time to take in some of its beauties. Feel free to enjoy the pleasures of the ballroom, Inquisitor. We look forward to watching you dance." the Empress replied before wandering off to the balcony. Ellana blinked. She really hoped she wouldn't have to dance.

"Inquisitor, when you have a moment." Leliana said as she left the platform. It seemed her work was only just beginning.


	27. Chapter 27

"Good, I was hoping I would catch you. What did the Duke say?" Leliana asked when she met her in the vestibule. Ellana shook her head.

"He points the finger at Ambassador Briala." she said doubtfully. Leliana frowned.

"The ambassador is up to something, but she cannot be our focus. The best place to strike at Celene is from her side. Empress Celene is fascinated by mysticism – Foreseeing the future, speaking with the dead, that sort of rubbish. She has an 'occult advisor.' An apostate who charmed the Empress and members of the court as if by magic. I've had dealings with her in the past. She is ruthless and capable of anything." the spymaster seemed angered by something, but Ellana had no idea why the woman would be upset.

"How can Celene openly keep an apostate in the Imperial Court?" she asked in surprise.

"The Imperial Court has always had a position for a mage. Before now it was little more than a court jester. Vivienne was the first to turn that appointment into a source of real political power. When the Circles rebelled, technically every mage became an apostate. The word lost much of its strength." she explained. Ellana frowned.

"You think she's controlling the minds of the court? That's powerful blood magic." she pointed out. The look on Leliana's face was almost petulant. She looked like a child being prevented from getting something she wanted. It was an odd expression on the usually cool spymaster.

"She's worth investigating. Can't be sure of anything here." she answered. "Both leads point towards the guest wing. It's a promising place to start. I'll coordinate with our spies to see if we can find anything better. I'll be in the ballroom if you need me." Ellana watched her walk away. She hoped to stay as far from the ballroom as possible. She began wandering around, ignoring the stares that were cast in her direction. Everywhere she went she overheard tidbits of information from the elven servants. They dashed away as she approached, but not quickly enough to hide their chatter. She nodded to Iron Bull, who looked bored as he stared at the people in the hall. She grinned. He was getting as many stares as she was. She passed through a tall set of doors, kindly opened for her by a servant, into a garden. Three women wearing identical clothes turned to her. Their faces were identical beneath their masks as well. It was...unsettling.

"My lady! My lady Inquisitor! May we have a word? It is very important!" one of them asked.

"The Empress has sent us with a message for you." the second explained.

"How can I be certain this message is from the Empress?" she asked. They tittered with laughter, like a trio of birds.

"We three wear the masks of House Valmont." the third answered.

"They signify that we are the public faces of the Empress." the first continued.

"They are also extremely fashionable!" the second concluded.

"Well then, I'm always honored to hear from Her Majesty." she decided. They clapped their gloved hands together.

"Oh, she is the honored one, Inquisitor." one assured her.

"Empress Celene is eager to assist the Herald in her holy endeavor." another began.

"She will pledge her full support to the Inquisition as soon as the usurper Gaspard is defeated." the last finished. Ellana blinked. That was incredibly vague.

"That's a generous offer." she drawled.

"The Empress believes wholeheartedly that the Inquisition is our best hope for peace in the difficult times." the first begged.

"She looks forward to cementing a formal alliance."

"As soon as Gaspard is out of the way."

"But we have taken enough of your time."

"Please enjoy the masquerade, Inquisitor." they finished before leaving.

"Has this kind of weird shit always happened to you, or is it more of a recent thing?" Varric's voice sounded nearby. She turned to see him standing with Dorian, both of them nursing glasses of wine.

"Honestly, woman, who has a trio of identical people offer an alliance to an empress upon their first meeting?" Dorian asked. She shrugged.

"I blame you." she said to Varric. He gasped indignantly.

"I beg your pardon. Me?" he cried.

"I have this strange sensation that since we met, you've been the narrator of my life. This is all your fault, somehow." she teased. He huffed at her, but did not deny it. "Have you seen anything interesting?" she asked quietly. Both of them shrugged.

"Not really. The ham tastes like despair though, so that's...something." Dorian quipped. She rolled her eyes at him, and in doing so noticed that there was a grate on one of the walls that reached an upper balcony. She was intrigued.

"I need you to create a diversion." she said absentmindedly. They both stared at her for a minute before following her gaze to the balcony.

"I think we can manage that, Peaches." Varric agreed. Dorian grinned mischievously. She started to think this might not be a good idea. Suddenly, a nearby bush burst into flames.

"Dear me! Why is this bush on fire?" Dorian cried. Ellana groaned and slipped behind the gathering crowd. Everyone was shouting in surprise at the sudden fire, and she could hear Varric spinning some story above all the noise. She quickly clambered up the wall, muscles that she hadn't used in a long time protesting the action. When she reached the top, she stretched her limbs, wondering when she had last climbed a tree. She and Mahanon had always tried to climb every tree they could find when they were young.

"I will climb every tree in Skyhold." she promised. She smiled softly as a warmth filled her heart. It seemed that he had been right about never leaving her. With his spirit urging her on, she searched the balcony. Almost immediately she found a pool of blood, and followed the trail to a locked door. Looking around hurriedly, she froze the lock, causing it to shatter. When she shoved the door open, she gagged. A pair of bodies was piled on the floor, and she had to step carefully to avoid their blood. She picked up a letter that was near one of the corpse's outstretched hands, frowning as she read. "What sort of weapon does Briala have?" she wondered.

She tucked the letter away and left the room, closing the door behind her and taking a deep breath of fresh air before heading back the way she came. Passing a plaque that said "Grand Library", she paused, feeling drawn to something within. Hesitantly, she pushed the door open and snuck in. Immediately she noticed that something seemed out of place with the bookshelf against the wall opposite her. She approached it and saw tracks in the dust, indicating that the shelf could be moved. She gave it a shove, and unsurprisingly it did not budge. She was reminded of when she and Cullen had first met, and she was unable to open a simple door. She smiled as she continued her search. It did not take long to find the one book that was not covered in dust, and she pulled it, causing the shelf to slide out of the way, revealing a small office. Another letter sat upon the desk.

"Lady M? I wonder if that could be the mystery apostate." she commented before realizing how odd it was to speak to herself out loud. A loud bell tolled seemingly right above her head, and she nearly jumped out of her skin. She realized that the bell was calling everyone back to the ballroom. She doubted that Dorian and Varric's distraction was still working, so she decided to chance sneaking through the rest of the library. Due to everyone's rush to the ballroom, it was empty, and she was able to slip into the empty vestibule unnoticed. She raised a hand to enter the ballroom herself, when a voice spoke to her.

"Well, well, what have we here?" a low woman's voice crooned. She turned to see an odd-looking woman descending the staircase. Her raven hair was piled messily on the top of her head, and bright amber eyes regarded her like a predator eying her next meal. Her elegant gown was spoiled by a pair of black leather boots that rose to her knees. "The leader of the new Inquisition, fabled herald of the faith. Delivered from the grasp of the Fade by the hand of blessed Andraste herself. What could bring such an exalted creature here to the Imperial Court, I wonder. Do you even know?"

"We may never know. Courtly intrigues and all that." she quipped. She did not trust this woman as far as she could throw her. She knew this must be the mysterious Lady M, the one Leliana had warned about. She could feel the woman's raw power just by standing near her.

"Such intrigues obscure much, but not all." the woman reminded her with a small smirk. "I am Morrigan. Some call me advisor to Empress Celene on matters of the arcane. You...have been very busy this evening, hunting in every dark corner of the palace. Perhaps you and I hunt the same prey?" she suggested. Ellana forced herself to not react.

"I don't know, do we?" she answered. Morrigan laughed; a rich, throaty sound.

"You are being coy." she accused.

"I am being careful." she corrected. Morrigan bowed her head in acknowledgment.

"Not unwise, here of all places. Allow me to speak first, then. Recently I found, and killed, an unwelcome guest within these very halls. An agent of Tevinter. So I offer you this, Inquisitor: A key found on the Tevinter's body." she said, hand extended with a shining key in her palm. Ellana quickly took it, making sure no one saw the transaction. "Where it leads, I cannot say. Yet, if Celene is in danger, I cannot leave her side long enough to search. You can." she explained. Ellana nodded.

"Briala's people are whispering about disappearances in the servant's quarters. This may lead there." she said, mouth twisting uncomfortably around the word 'servant', as it always had. It was not a term used to describe the Dalish. It never would be.

"The ambassador does have eyes and ears everywhere, does she not?" she sounded impressed. "Proceed with caution, Inquisitor. Enemies abound, and not all of them are aligned with Tevinter. What comes next will be most exciting." she promised before striding away. Ellana watched her leave before once again being startled by the toll of a second bell. She was late, and did not want to disrupt whatever was going on through those doors. She turned and decided to find her companions so they could investigate the servant's quarters. She knew they were in for trouble as soon as she opened the door.

The stench of death wafted up the stairs, and blood was beginning to pool at the base of them. Dorian let out a low whistle as they reached the bottom, and Ellana was filled with fury. Dead elves. Their bodies were scattered across the floor, wounds to their backs. They had been killed as they tried to run away.

"Peanut, you should probably rein it in." Dorian murmured. She glared at him.

"Why should I? Because they were 'just' servants?" she growled. He shook his head.

"Of course not. Because you're going to light the building on fire if you don't control those flames that are dancing up your arms right now." he pointed out. She looked down to see the flames flaring around her hands. "You can stay angry, just make sure you direct that at our enemies." he added. She nodded and the flames vanished. He was right. They made their way through the path of bodies and out into a courtyard.

"That's an interesting dagger." Varric pointed out, gesturing to a blade that still stuck out of a well-dressed man's chest.

"That guy is on the Council of Heralds." Bull grunted. Ellana realized he was right. His mask had the proper design.

"The dagger bears the Chalons crest." she murmured. Gaspard was becoming a more promising lead. She heard a scream, and looked up to see another elven servant running away from a man dressed as a Harlequin. The man jumped into the air, spinning, and sliced his sword right through her. Ellana flared, not hesitating to shoot a fireball at him. He dodged it and sprinted away, and she immediately gave chase. If this was the group that was murdering these elves, she needed to take care of them. Everyone was running into one of the buildings, and she and her friends followed hot on their heels. Ellana and Dorian picked a few of the Venatori off with their spells as they ran, until soon they only had the Harlequin to face. He skidded to a stop in a large room when he realized he was cornered. He turned, daggers in hand, only to take a bolt from Bianca in the chest. As the realization that they had won dawned on him, he reached into his jacket and put something in his mouth. Ellana did not understand, but Varric shouted "No!" as the man fell to the ground, dead.

"What just happened?" she asked. Varric kicked the body in the side.

"Poison. He must have had information, and killed himself so we couldn't get it." he explained. She growled in frustration before actually looking around the room.

"What is this place?" she asked.

"From what I can see, it's one of Celene's bedrooms." Bull said as he lifted his head from a drawer he had been snooping through. Her eyes widened in surprise. They might be able to find some information from this place.

"Varric, do you think you could open this door?" Dorian asked from across the room. The dwarf trotted over and began to pick the lock. After hearing a satisfying click, they all went in. "Ooh! A vault!" Dorian cheered. Ellana's eyes were drawn to a locket that sat atop a chest in the corner. It had a familiar design etched into it, one as familiar as her own face: the symbol of Mythal.

"What is that?" Dorian asked.

"It is an elven locket." she answered. His eyes widened.

"I'll admit, I didn't think the Empress was this sentimental." he replied. She nodded and tucked it into her clothes for later. They left the room to find a slender elven woman standing in the hallway, staring down at one of the corpses. Her green dress was simple, but her mask was elaborate. It held echoes of Celene's own mask, but it was altered somehow. The woman's eyes looked up at their approach and she smiled.

"Fancy meeting you here." she said, her accent Orlesian. "Shouldn't you be dancing, Inquisitor? What _will_ the nobility say?" Ellana arched an eyebrow.

"I'm sure there's quite a line of people waiting for the chance." she drawled. The woman grinned.

"I wouldn't be surprised if there was. You cleaned this place out. It will take a month to get all the Tevinter blood out of the marble. I came here to save or avenge my missing people, but you've beaten me to it." Ellana's suspicions were confirmed. She was speaking with the Ambassador, Briala. "So...the Council of Herald's emissary in the courtyard...that's not your work, is it?" she wondered.

"And what if I told you it was?" she asked. Briala laughed.

"I wouldn't believe you, for one. You may have arrived with the Grand Duke, but you don't appear to be doing his dirty work." she shook her head, becoming irritated. "I knew he was sneaking chevaliers into the palace, but killing a council emissary? Bringing Tevinter assassins into the palace? These are desperate acts. Gaspard must be planning to strike tonight." she decided. Ellana wrinkled her nose. She wasn't so sure.

"Are you certain? He seemed too easygoing for a man plotting treason." she answered hesitantly.

"Don't let his charm blind you. He's Orlesian. His smile is his mask." Briala cautioned. She studied her for a moment. "I misjudged you, Inquisitor. You might be an ally worth having. What could you do with an army of elven spies at your disposal? You should think on it." she suddenly decided. Ellana blinked.

"You make a good sales pitch, Ambassador, I'll give you that." she answered. Briala grinned.

"I do, don't I? I know which way the wind is blowing. I'd bet coin that you'll be part of these peace talks before the night is over. And if you happen to lean a little our way? It...could prove advantageous to us both. Just a thought." she hinted, turning to leave. The woman had talked over her the entire time, which gave her the advantage. Ellana knew she had to get that back, and she knew just how to do it.

"Briala, wait." Ellana said. She pulled the locket from her clothes and dangled it in front of her. "This isn't yours, is it?" Briala's eyes widened beneath her mask as her hand gently reached out to touch the jewelry.

"She kept this? What was she thinking? If Gaspard had found this, it would have ruined her!" she rushed, not seeming to realize the secrets she was spilling.

"Perhaps it meant something to her." Ellana pointed out. Briala's eyes were glazed as if she were remembering something from long ago.

"Maybe it did...she held on to it..." she murmured, still enraptured by the locket. For a brief moment Ellana thought there were tears in her eyes, but she suddenly blinked and the moment was broken. Briala left without a word, effortlessly disappearing into the shadows. Ellana turned back to her friends.

"I think it is time to show this to Celene."


	28. Chapter 28

Once again, she found herself standing outside the door to the ballroom, taking deep breaths as she waited for the marquis to open it. She had a feeling she wouldn't be able to escape a dance this time, and the thought terrified her. She was alone, as her companions had filed out to cover various parts of the palace. Finally, the doors swung open, and, as she feared, she was immediately accosted.

"Inquisitor Lavellan?" Florianne asked. She was surprised, as she had thought the woman would avoid her for the remainder of the evening. The fact that she hadn't done so set off warning bells in her head. "We met briefly. I am Grand Duchess Florianne de Chalons. Welcome to my party." her voice was so sickly sweet Ellana knew something was wrong.

"Why do I get the feeling this meeting wasn't an accident?" she accused. Florianne's cruel lips curled into a smirk.

"This is Orlais, Inquisitor. Nothing happens by accident." she stepped closer as if to whisper in her ear. "I believe tonight you and I are both concerned by the actions of...a certain person. Come, dance with me. Spies will not hear us on the dance floor." she asked. Ellana schooled her features, trying to remember Josephine's lessons. It wasn't that the steps were hard, or that she wasn't graceful, it was just her discomfort with all of her practice partners. Dancing seemed like a very intimate thing, and she did not enjoy being intimate with so many strangers.

"Very well. Shall we dance, your grace?" she asked, making sure she was loud enough for others to hear. She could hear their answering murmurs of approval, and she hoped she wasn't making a mess for herself.

"I'd be delighted." Florianne bowed her head gracefully, and Ellana returned it before taking her hand and leading her to the floor. Josephine had been very careful to show her how to both lead and follow when it came to dancing, in the event of something like this happening. She took the lead, wanting a hand up over Florianne since Ellana was so out of her element. "Have the Dalish gained a sudden passion for politics? What do you know about our civil war?" she jabbed.

"I assure you, the effects of this war reach far beyond the borders of the Orlesian Empire." Ellana countered. She could already see the nobles on the floor looking at her a little differently, as if they were re-evaluating her. She stumbled slightly and hoped nobody had noticed. They all seemed to be too busy eavesdropping, so she thought she was probably in the clear.

"Perhaps it does. I should not be surprised to find the Empire is the center of everyone's world. It took great effort to arrange tonight's negotiations. Yet one party would use this occasion for blackest treason. The security of the Empire is at stake. Neither one of us wishes it to fall." the duchess assured her. Ellana did not believe her for a second.

"Do we both want that, Lady Florianne?" she asked as they completed one of the more complex steps of the dance. She was proud that she did not stumble or trip over the woman's hem.

"I hope we are of one mind on this. In times like these, it is hard to tell friend from foe, is it not, Your Grace? I know you arrived here as a guest of my brother, Gaspard, and have been everywhere in the palace. You are a curiosity to many, Inquisitor...and a matter of concern to some." she offered. Ellana wanted to grin. She thought she might actually be doing a good job at this whole "game".

"Am I the curiosity or the concern to you, Your Grace?" She asked calmly.

"A little of both, actually." Florianne admitted. Her eyes then widened as if she was surprised at her admission. "This evening is of great importance, Inquisitor. I wonder what role you will play in it. Do you even yet know who is friend and who is foe? Who in this court can be trusted?" she asked to divert attention from her mistake. Ellana finally felt like she had the upper hand.

"If I've learned anything, Your Grace, it is to put my trust in no one." she answered gravely.

"In the Winter Palace, everyone is alone. It cannot have escaped your notice that certain parties are engaged in dangerous machinations tonight." the duchess said through gritted teeth. She was losing her calm facade.

"I thought 'dangerous machinations' were the national sport in Orlais." Ellana pointed out. She decided to take a risk and dip the duchess on the dance floor. When she did so, she nearly dropped her as she realized that they were the only ones left. She didn't, however.

"You have little time." Florianne murmured. "The attack will come soon. You must stop Gaspard before he strikes. In the Royal Wing garden, you will find the captain of my brother's mercenaries. He knows all Gaspard's secrets. I'm sure you can persuade him to be forthcoming." she finished. Ellana looked at her for a moment as they curtsied to each other.

"We'll see what the night has in store, won't we?" she responded vaguely before leaving the woman alone. People were actually applauding, and the stares she was receiving were not as hostile as they had been earlier in the night.

"You'll be the talk of the court for months! We should take you dancing more often!" Josephine exclaimed once Ellana was off the floor. Ellana blanched, and Josephine laughed at her expression.

"Please don't." she begged.

"You did beautifully." she assured her. Ellana smiled gratefully. She had stumbled a few times, but it seems she did well enough.

"Was that _you_ dancing with Florianne?" Leliana asked in surprise as she approached.

"I hope you have good news, it appears the peace talks are crumbling." Josephine pointed out. Ellana wondered where Cullen was, but then saw him hopelessly trying to shove his way through a throng of men and women who appeared to be fawning over him. She was shocked at the sharp anger that filled her. Was she...jealous? She turned to focus on Josephine and Leliana.

"The Grand Duchess told me there's proof Gaspard is in league with Tevinter." she suggested.

"She offered up her own brother? She's more cutthroat than I realized. That must mean the attack will happen tonight." Leliana murmured.

"Warning Celene is pointless. She needs these talks to succeed, and to flee would admit defeat." Josephine revealed, reminding Ellana that there was much she did not know about politics.

"Then perhaps we should let her die." Leliana commented. Josephine gasped and Ellana stared at her in shock. Was that something that they could just do? Ellana frowned. Celene was the party that she thought was most suited to rule. She was an intelligent, capable woman from what she had seen. Leliana's ruthlessness was getting out of control.

"I didn't come here to stand around and _let_ her die." she argued. Her spymaster shrugged.

"Listen to me carefully, Inquisitor. What Corypheus wants is chaos. Even with Celene alive, that could still happen. To foil his plan, the Empire must remain strong. This evening, _someone_ must emerge victorious, and it doesn't need to be Celene." she explained carefully.

"Do you realize what you're suggesting, Leliana?" Josephine breathed. The thought was clearly madness in her mind.

"Sometimes the best path is not the easiest one." the bard consoled, as if the decision had already been made. Ellana shook her head.

"We will _save_ Celene. I also think we should support Briala." she ordered firmly. Leliana arched an eyebrow.

"And how do we do that? They fight like cats in a sack." she drawled. Ellana shook her head.

"I have an idea to fix that. Right now we need information." she eluded.

"What did the duchess tell you?" she asked.

"She said Gaspard's captain is in the royal wing, that he knows about the assassination." she explained.

"Which could be a trap."

"Or a lead. Either way, you should search the private quarters in that wing for clues." Josephine corrected. Ellana nodded.

"I will work on getting access. In the meantime, make sure our soldiers are in position." she confirmed. Her two advisors nodded and walked away. Ellana intended to go straight to Celene, but her anger made her feet move toward a certain commander. His face as she approached looked terrified.

"Are you married, Commander?" a man was asking, playfully touching his arm. Cullen shrugged away from it.

"Not yet." he grunted. "But I am already taken." The Orlesians heard his lie and collectively sidled closer.

"Still single then?" the first man asked flirtatiously. Cullen finally noticed her approach, and relief spread across his face.

"Ellana! Did you need something?" he asked, forcing his way through the crowd. Her lips twitched toward a smile. She contemplated torturing him by saying no.

"Yes, it is very important." she said, grabbing his arm and dragging him away.

"You are a saint." he murmured, and she grinned. When they were alone, she studied him.

"You've attracted a following. Who are all those people?" she asked, hoping he couldn't hear the jealousy laced through her voice. She hadn't thought about her feelings for Cullen since the fiasco with Solas. She had been too hurt. But now they were being shoved to the front of her mind.

"I don't know. But they won't leave me alone." he sighed irritably. She smiled slightly at his annoyance.

"Not enjoying the attention, then?" she wondered. It was amazing how easily they slipped back into their regular banter after such a long time apart.

"Hardly." he spat. "Anyway, yours..." he paused and stared at her for a long time. She felt like those warm brown eyes were seeing into her soul. She shuddered at the intensity of it. "Yours is the only attention worth having." he finished. She was certain that her cheeks were bright red, and she thanked the Gods for the mask she wore. She bit her lip.

"Have...have you noticed anything out of the ordinary?" she asked, trying to make the blushing stop.

"I haven't. It would be easier if people would stop talking to me." he admitted. His face reddened. "Other people. Not you." She smiled at him.

"I spoke with Leliana and Josephine and told them to ready the soldiers. I am going to go into the Royal Wing to investigate a lead soon. I just wanted you to know." she revealed. He nodded solemnly.

"Be safe, Ellana. I will make sure everything goes smoothly out here." he promised.

"Thank you, Cullen." she murmured. He had a strange expression on his face for a moment before he walked away. She wasn't entirely sure what it meant, but she couldn't get it out of her mind as she headed over to the strange triplets who were Celene's voice.

"Inquisitor! To what do we owe this honor?" the first asked.

"We are always delighted to speak with you, of course!" the second promised.

"Her Imperial Majesty is unfortunately occupied at the moment." the third regretfully added.

"I made a fascinating discovery: An elven locket, in the Empress's vault." Ellana interrupted before they could say any more, handing them the trinket.

"Oh, dear." the first gasped.

"That is very interesting." the second cried.

"I'll get her majesty." the third decided, trying to stay calm but failing miserably. The three vanished and were quickly replaced by Celene, whose calm mask was no different from earlier in the evening. Seeing her close up, Ellana could sense a sadness in her pale blue eyes.

"Inquisitor, I regret that we did not have a chance to speak earlier. No doubt you have questions about many things." she said coolly. Ellana smiled softly.

"The locket I found...it was a gift from Briala, wasn't it?" she asked softly. The pain in Celene's eyes intensified. Ellana wondered if the woman knew it was there. Even through the pain, the Empress smiled fondly.

"She gave it to me for my coronation." the smile faded and was replaced with sorrow. "I don't know why I kept it. It was a foolish thing to do." she admitted.

"Maybe you kept it because you still care for Briala." she suggested. Celene's composure slipped.

"Perhaps I do. But I cannot put her above all the people of my empire. Dispose of the locket however you wish. It means nothing to me." she lied as she pressed the locket into Ellana's hand. She strode away, for an instant visibly upset. She watched her go, wanting to fix the woman's broken heart. It made her wonder how she would fix her own. She caught a glimpse of Cullen across the ballroom, and for a moment their eyes met. Her heart beat faster, and it seemed so loud that for an instant, she couldn't hear the sounds of the people around her. It was just...him. She broke eye contact first, wondering if he had felt the same, or if she was imagining things.

"Focus, Ellana." she muttered under her breath before heading off to find her companions. It was time to finish this.


	29. Chapter 29

"I should really be used to this kind of shit by now, but somehow I'm not." Varric shouted over the sounds of battle. Of course, when they had finally made it to the Royal Wing, Florianne had laid a trap. Ellana had expected it, but it was still an unpleasant experience. She thrust her palm forward and felt it latch onto the rift that Florianne had opened in the courtyard, feeling as if a clock was winding down the longer this took. She yanked her hand away and the rift closed with a "pop." She immediately untied the mercenary captain. Surprisingly, Florianne hadn't been lying about that.

"Andraste's tits! What was all that?" the man cursed. "Were those demons? There aren't any more blasted demons coming, right?" he whined. Ellana was too short on time to deal with this.

"Aren't you supposed to be a soldier? Act like one." she growled.

"The pay's not good enough to keep my calm, friend." he pointed out. "I knew Gaspard was a bastard, but I didn't think he'd feed me to fucking horrors over a damned bill." he grumbled.

"Gaspard told you to come here?" she asked in surprise, for a moment forgetting her need to hurry.

"Well, his sister, but it had to come from him, didn't it? All that garbage she was spewing didn't mean anything. Gaspard is the mastermind." he argued.

"Tell me everything you know." she demanded.

"The duke wanted to move on the palace tonight, but he didn't have enough fancy chevaliers. So he hired me and my men. He had to offer us triple our usual pay to come to Orlais. Stinking poncy cheesemongers." he growled. She studied him. His face was scarred and lean. He had the look of a man who had seen too much in his line of work.

"Want a new job? One that pays better? The Inquisition can always use a good mercenary company." she offered. He brightened visibly.

"You hiring? I'm game. Anything's better than this bullshit. You want me to talk to the Empress, or the court, or sing a blasted song in the Chantry, I'll do it." he promised. She nodded.

"Go find Leliana and tell her I sent you. We might need you tonight." she agreed. He left immediately, and she headed in a different direction to make it to the ballroom in time.

"We're going to be too late." Bull grunted. She shook her head.

"We'll make it. And if we don't, Cullen and the others have their orders. We'll stop her." she protested while running as quickly as she could. They sprinted through the halls, dodging drunken guests and slipping on the smooth marble floors. When they made it into the ballroom, she skidded right into Cullen. He caught her and set her on her feet.

"Thank the Maker you're back! The Empress will begin her speech soon. What should we do?" he asked, clearly panicked about her state. She was probably a mess after that battle. She forced herself to ignore his careful study of her.

"The Grand Duchess is the assassin. Don't let her anywhere near Celene." she ordered.

"The duchess? At once." He nodded and gave a signal to one of his men. She could see them moving in unison in an attempt to block Celene from Florianne.

"Let all gathered, attend! Her Imperial Majesty will now address the court!" the Marquis called. Ellana was trying to shove her way through the throng, and she could see Florianne calmly walking toward the Empress across the room.

"Lords and Ladies, as a nation, we mourn our sons and daughters, brothers and sisters, friends and lovers claimed by war. The sky is torn open, the Divine is dead, and many fear the end of all things is upon us. Orlais must stand as a bastion, a bulwark behind which all of Thedas may take shelter. So has it stood for a thousand years! So shall it ever stand!" the crowd erupted into thunderous applause. "This would not have been possible without the efforts of many. Dear cousin, please step forward." Ellana forced her way through and began to run. She needed to stop this.

"Grand Duchess! Stand down!" she cried. Inquisition soldiers reached the duchess before Ellana did, shoving Celene out of the way and raising a sword to Florianne. The woman already had a dagger in hand, and she quickly murdered the soldiers who assaulted her. Panic erupted in the ballroom as the people realized what was happening.

"Now!" Florianne roared. Harlequins appeared all around the room, attacking at random. Inquisition soldiers did their best to defend everyone, but many were too late. Ellana kept running to Celene. She needed to save the Empress. "For Corypheus! Kill them all!" the duchess cried. When she reached the Empress, a host of soldiers were surrounding her. She was safe. She saw Florianne darting out toward the balcony.

"Cullen! Protect the people!" she shouted before leaping after her.

"Ellana!" he cried. She was too focused on her target to notice the fear in his voice.

"We're right behind you, Peanut!" Dorian called out so she wouldn't be startled. She saw Florianne disappear for a moment in a cloud of smoke, but when it cleared the Duchess was still there, only she wore a dark leather armor instead of the gown she had been wearing previously. Ellana shook her head. Rogues. The woman drew her bow and had an arrow pointed at Ellana's chest.

"Beaten at every turn. You stole the moment of my triumph just as you stole the demon army from Erimond. And now you've chased a defenseless woman into the garden. Are you proud of yourself?" she drawled. Ellana frowned. She could hear voices coming from the balcony above them, so they were clearly being watched. If she was trying to come up with a story, no one would believe her.

"We have the palace. Surrender, Florianne. You don't have to die today." she ordered. Florianne laughed in her face.

"Surrender? Now? Oh, you poor, deluded thing." she fired her arrow so quickly that Ellana almost didn't dodge it in time. She disappeared in another cloud of smoke before reappearing on a nearby fountain. "The night is still young. All I need to recover...is to kill you, Inquisitor." she decided. Ellana knew the woman was mad. The gates shut behind her, and Ellana saw more Harlequins filtering into the garden. There were only a few, but as far as numbers went, they were now outmatched. "So good of you to attend my soiree."

There was barely time to react. As one, the Harlequins began to dive onto the balcony where she and her party stood. Bull immediately plowed forth to meet them, and both she and Dorian cast an arcane shield around him to prevent him from getting too hurt. Ellana could sense someone sneaking up behind her, and immediately sent out a mind blast. Three Harlequins flew away from her as if she had physically thrown them. She wasted no time in attacking them with everything she had, while also paying attention to what the Duchess was doing across the garden.

Varric had managed to slip away from the assassins as only a rogue could, and he was firing Bianca at the Duchess ferociously. Somehow, the woman kept knocking the bolts aside with her own bow. Ellana wondered if her armor was enchanted to make her move more quickly. It was very likely. She eventually finished off the Harlequins that were attacking her by freezing them solid. She was out of breath, and she had taken a shallow wound in her thigh that she could feel soaking one of her boots. It wasn't a terrible wound, but it would exhaust her if they did not finish this soon. She had a lot of skill with healing, but using the Dalish method of healing magic on oneself was counterproductive, as you needed to draw a portion of the energy from the person you were healing in order to complete the spell. Lyrium was not enough. She had seen people use the type of healing taught in Circles, but it did not seem as effective as the ways passed on through her people.

She looked over to see Bull viciously protecting Dorian while the mage defended Varric. She rushed over to them, eager to help take some of the weight off Bull's shoulders. She screamed as an arrow pierced her shoulder, but she could not let that stop her. The air crackled around her as a dark cloud appeared above them. Suddenly lightning was striking out of nowhere, lashing out at all their enemies. She heard Florianne shout as she was hit by one of the bolts, and she saw her tumble off her perch. The remaining Harlequins lay unmoving on the ground, dead because of their leader's folly. Ellana turned to limp toward where Florianne had fallen. When she got there, the body was missing.

"Shit." she muttered as she felt something harder than stone hit her in the back. She realized it was a dagger as she turned around, and thanked the Gods for enchanted cloth. Without it, the dagger would have gone right through her dress and hit her heart. Florianne looked stunned, and Ellana took advantage of the moment to yank the dagger from the Duchess' hand and stab it into her chest. The woman looked shocked until the life slipped from her eyes. Ellana collapsed to the ground under the weight of the woman's body. She was breathing heavily and felt lightheaded. She realized that the wound in her thigh might be worse than she initially thought.

"Peaches, how do you get yourself into these situations?" Varric asked as Bull lifted Florianne's body off of her. She was a bit woozy as he helped her sit up.

"I don't think I'll ever know, Varric." she slurred. The ground fell out from beneath her, and she had to blink a few times to realize that Dorian was carrying her.

"Why'd you start calling me 'Peanut'?" she mumbled. He chuckled.

"Because it suits you, Peanut." he replied.

"All right then." she agreed. The part of her brain that was lucid was sure something was wrong. There was no way she had lost enough blood to feel this way. "Poi...son" she muttered.

"What?" Dorian asked.

"I think the dag...dagger was poisoned." she repeated. They were suddenly moving a lot more quickly. Were they running? She had no idea. She heard people talking, but couldn't understand them. Her mouth felt incredibly dry. She suddenly found herself looking into a pair of golden eyes. Where had she seen eyes like that before? She hissed as she felt the skin of her leg stitching itself back together.

"Drink this." a low, woman's voice ordered. She did her best. Sounds became a little more clear, and so did her vision. It was easier to breathe, and easier to think. She saw Morrigan sitting in front of her.

"You healed me." she said. The woman nodded.

"I did." she agreed.

"Thank you." she replied. Morrigan shrugged and said nothing. "I didn't peg you as a healer." Morrigan laughed.

"I once spent a lot of time with an irritating old bag who taught me that healing was an important skill to have." she said vaguely. Ellana nodded. "You should probably go, I think the Empress wants you to join in the end of the negotiations." she said. Ellana stood, finding that her leg did not feel any weaker after being wounded.

"Thank you again, Morrigan." she said before heading off to find the Empress. She found the trio arguing on a balcony.

"Your sister attempted regicide in front of the entire court, Gaspard." Briala spat.

"You're the spymaster. If anyone knew this atrocity was coming, it was you." he accused. Briala glowered at him.

"You don't deny your involvement." she pointed out.

"I _do_ deny it! I knew nothing of Florianne's plans. But _you..._ You knew it all and did nothing!" he roared. Briala snorted.

"I don't know which is better: That you think I'm all-seeing, or that you're trying so hard to play innocent and failing." she hissed. Celene had clearly had enough.

"Enough! We will not bicker while Tevinter plots against our nation! For the safety of the empire, I _will_ have answers." she cried, her voice like a thunderclap. As she looked at them, an idea began to form in her mind.

"I wouldn't have caught Florianne in time without Briala's help." Ellana said. Three heads swiveled to look at her. Briala tilted her head slightly, but nodded in acceptance. What she said was not entirely true, but she _had_ helped her in a way.

"You were working together?" Celene asked.

"Of course." Briala agreed.

"Thanks to Briala, Gaspard's mercenary captain will testify that he hired men to infiltrate the palace." Ellana revealed. Celene laughed.

"Hired thugs? I didn't expect you to stoop so low, cousin." she taunted. Gaspard scoffed.

"Don't be naive, Celene. The only difference between a mercenary and a common soldier is a uniform." he argued.

"Keep talking, Gaspard. Eventually you'll convince somebody." Briala drawled.

"He also murdered a Council of Heralds emissary. I found the body and his knife in the servant's quarters." Ellana accused.

"I have done no such thing!" Gaspard argued. Perhaps she had been wrong about that charge, but she had plenty more if needed.

"He also ordered his general to sneak troops into the Winter Palace. Briala found all of this out for your sake, Celene." Ellana finished. Celene stared at her for a long time.

"In light of overwhelming evidence, we have no choice but to declare you an enemy of the Empire. You are hereby sentenced to death." Celene decided, waving her hand so that her guards could retrieve her traitorous cousin.

"I believe Briala deserves some reward for uncovering all this." Ellana added. She realized as she spoke why she cared to reunite the lovers. Part of her thought that if she could fix their broken hearts, maybe she would be able to fix her own.

"I can scarcely believe you did all this for me." Celene murmured.

"Celene..." was the only word that came out of Briala's mouth. Her smile was beautiful, however, as was Celene's answering one.

"Thank you, Inquisitor, for all your efforts tonight." Celene said graciously. "I owe you my life, and Orlais owes you its future." they turned and walked back into the ballroom. A few people were tending to some minor wounds, but any bodies that had been there had already been retrieved. "You have done so much. For my people and...for us." she squeezed Briala's hand.

"We won't forget this." Briala promised. She felt a pang of loneliness that was strangely accompanied by a feeling of hope.

"It was my pleasure. The two of you deserve to be happy." Ellana assured them. They grinned at her as they went to make their final speeches of the evening. She heard them praising the Inquisition and their efforts, as well as declaring a new era for elves. She smiled and drifted off to the balcony to look at the stars. It had been a long day.

"The Orlesian nobility makes drunken toasts to your victory, and yet you are not present to hear them?" a now familiar voice said behind her. She shrugged as she turned to look at Morrigan. "Do you tire so quickly of their congratulations, Inquisitor? 'Tis most fickle, after all your efforts on their behalf."

"I would have stayed, but the punch ran dry. Scandalous." she quipped. Morrigan smirked.

"Indeed? Let us see if you take this piece of news as poorly. By Imperial decree, I have been named liaison to the Inquisition. Celene wishes to offer you any and all aid. Including mine. Congratulations." she said drily. Ellana nodded. It was a smart move, and would give the Inquisition a powerful ally.

"Welcome to the Inquisition, Morrigan." she answered.

"A most gracious response. I shall meet you at Skyhold." she said, turning and leaving Ellana alone. She removed her mask and set it on the wall she was leaning on. She had a moment to just stare up at the night sky and breathe. It was not something she was used to. She closed her eyes, and listened to the music drifting through the open doorway. It was nothing like the songs of her people, but it was somehow comforting. A cool wind blew against her cheeks, lifting tendrils of her hair away from her face. Finally, it was peaceful. She heard the softest footsteps approaching, but did not turn. She recognized them, just as she had always recognized the steps of her clanmates back home.

"Are you all right?" Cullen asked, leaning against the railing beside her. She turned and smiled up at him. He was so concerned for her well-being.

"Morrigan healed my wounds. I'm just worn out. Tonight has been...very long." she admitted. Relief filled his eyes.

"For all of us. I'm glad it's over." he agreed. For a while they stood in silence, looking out across the gardens and just enjoying each others company. "I know it's probably foolish...but I was worried for you tonight." he broke the silence. She looked at him again, seeing the worry still on his face.

"I know. I...I worried for you too, Cullen." she said truthfully. They could hear applause inside as one song ended and another began.

"I know you aren't a huge fan of the practice, but I might not get another chance, so I must ask: May I have this dance, my lady?" he inquired. She was surprised that she felt no hesitation with him. She felt safe.

"Of course. I'd heard you didn't dance." she pointed out as she took his outstretched hand. Warmth filled her as he pulled her close and placed his other hand on her waist.

"For you, I'll try." he promised. The steps were simple, and Cullen was a surprisingly good dancer for someone who "didn't dance." She felt comfortable in his arms, as if it was where she should have been all along. She was surprised when she realized she was crying. He stopped, and looked down at her. "What's wrong?" he whispered. She shook her head, unwilling to pull away from him.

"Nothing. I think things are actually starting to feel right again." she confessed. His smile warmed her heart. She had the sudden feeling that Mahanon was with her, and that he was happy, which only made her cry more. Cullen pulled her against his chest in a tight embrace and stroked her hair comfortingly.

"I am here for you. However you need." he murmured. And with those simple words, she had no more doubt. She loved this man.

"I've missed you, Cullen." she breathed.

"And I have missed you, Ellana." he agreed. Both of them sounded like a weight had lifted from their hearts. Slowly, they began to dance again. She didn't stumble once.


	30. Chapter 30

"Well, what are you going to do about it?" Dorian asked, stirring his tea idly as Ellana paced back and forth in her room.

"I...have no idea." she confessed, rubbing a hand through her hair. She hadn't felt like this since Mahanon. She loved Solas, she thought she always would, but her feelings for Cullen were different. With Solas, it was all passion and heat. Neither of them really knew anything about each other, they just had their love. It was a wildfire that had burned out when it ran out of fodder. With Cullen, the heat was there, but it was a slow burn, the kind that would last forever as long as they cultivated it. She was never confused about what he felt for her, because he was so open and honest. She recognized that her love for Solas had been built on lies and secrets.

"You need to go talk to him!" Dorian urged.

"I-" she began.

"Now!" he ordered.

"Now?" she whimpered.

"Right now! Why wait any longer? What is the point?" he asked. They hadn't discussed their feelings since the night at the Winter Palace. They had seen each other, and talked often, but never about that. She huffed indignantly.

"You can't just order me to go...do whatever it is I will do!" she argued. Dorian cackled.

"Watch me." he said. He arched an eyebrow at her and just stared. Soon she felt so uncomfortable that she had to leave. The only problem was, he followed her. She tried to escape, to wander around every spot of Skyhold, but he just followed her. She growled at him and he laughed. She yelled at him and he laughed. Finally, she found herself outside Cullen's door. Hesitantly, she knocked.

"Come in." Cullen's voice called absently. She looked back at Dorian, who was waving for her to enter. She took a deep breath and entered. The minute she saw him, leaning over his papers with brow furrowed in concentration, her anxiety faded. When he saw her, he immediately straightened, rubbing at the back of his neck. It was something he did when he was nervous, something she had noticed quite often. "Ellana! I'd hoped you'd stop by. Was there something you needed?" he admitted. She knew she was blushing at his confession.

"Oh. You did? I...thought we could talk...alone." she wondered. He nodded eagerly.

"I know a place." he said, gesturing for her to follow him out the door. He led her up the battlements, to a spot that she frequently went to. It made her smile to think that Cullen found comfort in the same location. From this spot, you could see all of Skyhold: every merchant, every soldier, everyone and everything could be looked at from it. "It's a nice day." he commented. She blinked. The sun was warm on her face, but an icy breeze from the mountains wafted about them. She shivered at the coolness.

"What?" she asked.

"It's...there was something you wished to discuss?" he wondered. It was odd to see him so off balance. He was usually very much in control. It was endearing.

"I've...found myself thinking of you. More than...well...all the time, really." she blabbered. She was an idiot. She sounded like an idiot, she was being an idiot, she should just leave.

"You know that I've wondered what it might be like. I did my best to tell you that." he reminded her. She was breathing very quickly. When had it gotten so hot? Hadn't she just been thinking about how chilly it was?

"I haven't been able to get our kiss out of my mind." she admitted.

"Neither have I." he agreed.

"So what's been stopping you?" she breathed. He shook his head.

"I did not want to rush in after...after Solas hurt you. I did not want you to think me an opportunist." he confessed. She nodded. She was grateful for his sensitivity to her situation. He always thought about what would affect her.

"That is understandable. And yet, here I am." she pointed out.

"So you are...It seems too much to ask. But I want to..." he murmured. He was so close to her. She could feel his body pressed against hers. Her palms were sweating, her heart was racing, she couldn't stop looking at his full lips, so near to her. If she just stretched onto her tiptoes, she could...

"Commander! You wanted a copy of Sister Leliana's report." a soldier called, walking over from the doorway. Immediately they separated.

"What?" Cullen growled. She had never heard such fierceness in his voice. It was...stirring.

"Sister Leliana's report? You wanted it delivered 'without delay'." the soldier hesitated. She could not see Cullen's face, but the young man looked from him to her over and over again until realization dawned on his youthful features. "Or...on your desk. I'll leave it on your desk." he squeaked before sprinting away. Ellana looked down at her feet.

"If you need to-" but then he was kissing her. His lips were insistent against hers. She tangled her hands in his hair, pulling him closer, if it was even possible. His hands roamed over her shoulders, her waist, the small of her back, holding her so tightly she thought he would never let go. She held on just as tightly, not wanting the moment to end. But it had to, and he pulled away, resting his forehead against hers.

"That...was-"

"Perfect." she finished. He smiled at her, and she promised she would spend every day trying to see that smile again. She kissed him, gently this time, smiling against his lips. "The Commander of the Inquisition and the Herald of Andraste. That will have people talking." she said quietly. He chuckled.

"You wouldn't believe how quickly gossip spreads through the barracks. I'm sure that soldier has already told everyone in Skyhold by now. Don't be surprised if you hear we're married by morning." he guessed.

"Does it bother you?" she wondered. He shrugged.

"I would rather our private affairs remained that way. But if there were nothing here for people to talk about, I would regret it more." he assured her. A question that had been tugging at her spilled from her mouth.

"The fact that I'm Dalish...has it ever bothered you?" she whispered. He frowned, and she could feel his forehead shift against hers.

"Of course not. I've never considered it. Elves weren't treated differently in the Circles I served. I didn't think what it might mean to you...I hope that it doesn't...I mean...does it bother you?" he wondered, turning the question back to her. She thought of Deshanna, and her desire to make the Dalish grow through carrying children. That would never happen, now. She shook her head. She knew in her heart that Mahanon was happy for her, and his was the only opinion that could sway her.

"No. If you care for me, that's all that matters." she promised. "I wasn't trying to put you on the spot."

"I'm not doing a very good job at this, am I? If I seem unsure, it's because it's been a long time since I've wanted anyone in my life. I wasn't expecting to find that here. I wasn't expecting you." he mentioned. She smiled.

"Neither was I." she agreed. Another insecurity she had tugged at her heart. "What about...my _Vallaslin_? Do they bother you?" she asked. There was a flash of anger in his eyes.

"Is that why...No, Ellana. They are beautiful. They are you." he responded seriously. Her frown did not go away.

"I...Solas told me the truth about them. They are slave markings. My people have gotten this wrong for ages." she rambled. He kissed her forehead.

"All people make mistakes, Ellana. They may have meant something terrible long ago, but your people have changed what they represent." he said.

"But-" she began.

"Look at the Inquisition, Ellana. We've all learned that the first Inquisition ended up changing into something terrible, but look what we have accomplished. Look at what the Inquisition has become. Those markings may have meant something worse once, but now they are a representation of the strength of your people. They show that you are fighters, with something to believe in. Don't let the past cast a shadow on you." he explained, his words laced with more meaning than it seemed. She threw her arms around his neck, and he eagerly returned her embrace.

"Thank you." she murmured.

"As I've said before, I will always be here for you." he breathed back.

"And I for you." she promised. They leaned against the battlements for a while, just watching the people below. She was amazed at how comfortable she was just sitting in silence with him. They didn't need to be speaking to show that they were there for each other. After a time, she realized that they both probably had a lot to do. "I should let you get back to work." she said quietly. He nodded.

"Of course. Can I see you again, before you go off on another adventure? We could have dinner?" he suggested. She smiled.

"I would like that. Tonight?" she wondered.

"Tonight." he agreed, leaning in and kissing her gently before going back to his office. She stood there smiling for a long time.

"Safe and solid, protecting and proud. He feels like quiet, stronger when you hold him." a voice said behind her. She jumped, startled by Cole's sudden appearance.

"Hello, Cole." she said. He cocked his head at her, resembling a puppy with the action.

"The fire is gone, replaced with something deeper, something better. He made the hurt go away. Like I try to. How did he do that? How did he take away the pain of the wolf? I couldn't." he chanted. Ellana smiled softly.

"Love, Cole. He took away the pain by giving me love." she explained. He nodded, still appearing to be listening.

"Warmth, and light. So bright you almost have to squint to see it. Scarred and broken, but he puts her back together, makes her see the good pieces. Only wants to see her smile, like Mahanon did. _Emma lath_." he replied. She smiled softly.

"Yes." she murmured. Cole smiled at her, and she returned it. He didn't always understand what he was saying, but he tried his best to make everyone happy. He walked away without saying another word, and she stared after him for a moment before heading off to find Leliana. There was work to be done.

* * *

Cullen tried to be stoic as he talked with his soldiers, but he couldn't stop smiling. They all smiled back at him in a knowing manner. As he suspected, Jim, the soldier on the battlements had told _everyone_. Honestly, he did not care all that much. He wanted to shout it to the world, himself.

"You're dismissed, soldiers." he finished. They all turned to leave, but one hung back.

"Congratulations, Commander. You deserve it." she said. His smile widened.

"Thank you." he replied. The young woman hurried out of the office and Cullen sat down. He was in a state of disbelief at the events of the day. He thought of the feeling of Ellana's lips against his, and how she felt in his arms, and all he could do was smile. It felt right. He had nearly kissed her at the Winter Palace, but he hadn't wanted to push her. He wanted her to come to him on her own terms. He had been so amazed when she had.

"Commander." a voice said. Cullen's head snapped up in surprise. Solas stood there, shadowed in the doorway. He stepped into the light, and Cullen could see the barely disguised rage on his cool features.

"Is there something I can help you with, Solas?" he asked calmly. He would not let this man get to him.

"You didn't take very long, did you?" Solas snapped. Cullen raised an eyebrow.

"I took as much time as Ellana needed. She came to me." he pointed out.

"Is that so?" Solas growled. He nodded. "She just decided to choose you with no knowledge of how you'd react?" Cullen shook his head.

"I never said that. I made my feelings clear to her months ago. She's always known how I feel." he corrected. Solas froze, and Cullen wondered what was going through his mind.

"If you hurt her..." Solas spat. He was starting to get annoyed.

"I think you already took care of that." Cullen immediately retorted. Solas reeled back as if he had struck him. Cullen stood and walked over to him. "I would _never_ hurt her. But I think you already knew that." Solas' lip curled in a snarl. He realized he had really struck a blow. "Why would you do that to her, Solas? How could you let her go?" he asked, genuinely wondering how someone could willingly give her up. Solas shook his head.

"My reasons are more than her. They're more than all of us." the elf argued. Cullen laughed without humor while shaking his head in disbelief.

"Nothing is more than her." he retorted.

"Do you really believe that?" Solas asked. Cullen did not hesitate to nod. He would do anything, give up anything for her.

"She _is_ the world to me." he answered genuinely. Solas' expression softened in surprise, and Cullen still felt a fierce need to defend her. For a moment, all was quiet.

"Just...take care of her." Solas said before walking out. He paused and turned back. "And enjoy being second choice." Cullen's jaw dropped in surprise. Could he be right? Was she only settling for him? He shook his head. No. He had seen the light in her eyes when he looked at her. He saw how low the sun was and remembered that he had somewhere to be. When he reached her rooms, he found her sitting cross-legged on the floor, short, dark hair pulled back away from her face as she focused on the spread before her. He grinned as he realized she had set up a picnic for them. She beamed at him when she realized he was there.

"Cullen!" she greeted cheerfully. Her smile faded as she studied him. "What's wrong?" she asked. She was far too observant.

"It's not a big deal, really." he assured her. She arched an eyebrow at him doubtfully.

"Cullen." she drawled. He sighed.

"Solas just came to see me." he revealed. She frowned.

"Why would he do that?" she asked, her tone dangerous.

"He was angry with me, he said that I was taking advantage of you. And he said..." he trailed off.

"What did he say?" she wondered. He looked her in the eyes.

"He said that I was your second choice. That you were settling for me." he admitted. Anger flashed in her eyes, but no guilt. It eased his worries. She stood and embraced him.

"That isn't true, Cullen." she promised. She growled in frustration. " _Fenhedis._ I could light him on fire!" she hissed. He chuckled and hugged her back.

"You don't need to do that, Ellana. I have no doubt in you." he replied. She laughed in surprise. "What?" he wondered.

"I...I suppose I'm not used to being trusted so easily. Solas, he wasn't like that. I don't think he ever fully trusted me. But you trust me without question. It's refreshing." she admitted. He smiled down at her for a long time. She returned the smile, and he couldn't get over how beautiful she was. Tendrils of black hair had fallen out of the leather strip tying her hair back, and they framed her pale, freckled cheeks. Her _Vallaslin_ danced across them, beautiful and part of who she was. Her large, gray-green eyes peered up at him through a fringe of long, dark lashes. He had no idea how he was so lucky.

"You have done nothing to make me distrust you." he pointed out. She sighed and stood, burying her face against his chest.

" _Ar lath, emma lath."_ she murmured. At least, he thought that was what she said.

"What does that mean?" he wondered. She pulled back and gave him a wicked grin.

"I'll tell you when you're older." she chided. He snorted. Hopefully they meant something good. They felt like they did.


	31. Chapter 31

Ellana frowned at the temple ruins before her. Apparently they contained a shrine to Dumat, an ancient god of Tevinter. Within, she was supposed to find something that Corypheus was keeping secret from his right hand, Calpernia. Ellana and her companions had already traveled to Val Royeaux and discovered a strange crystal that allowed them to see Calpernia's memories. Their spies had planted part of the crystal in the magister's location, so they had learned that Corypheus had a plan to make Calpernia some sort of vessel, and that he was hiding something from his mage ally. She had been tasked to figure out what that was.

"I've gotta say, Peaches, this place creeps me out." Varric muttered out of the side of his mouth. She nodded in agreement.

"Me too. Let's find whatever it is we're looking for so we can get out of this place." she concurred. They had been summoned to deal with some hostile Avvar in the Frostback Basin, but Leliana had requested that they stop at the shrine first so that she could figure out a way to thwart Calpernia. They hesitated when a green glow resembling the mark on her hand shot out of a pair of statues, but once the noise subsided, nothing happened. Slowly, carefully, they ventured deeper into the ruin. The doors slid open at their approach, and she hesitantly continued on. It wasn't until they were nearly halfway through the ruin that they encountered demons.

"Take that, you filth!" Dorian roared, firing a stream of flame into a despair demon. It tried to shoot ice back at him, but the fire was too hot, too strong. Its screech seemed to tear at her ears, and she wondered if she was bleeding. She stabbed the bladed end of her staff into a demon that was crowding her, hitting it with a bolt of lightning for good measure. Soon, the demons were gone, and they were free to continue deeper into the temple.

"Uhh, Boss? Do you see what I see?" Bull asked, pointing to a red crystal that sat on a pedestal. It was nearly identical to the one they had stolen from Calpernia.

"There are more over here!" Dorian called. As she approached the first one, she cringed. Corypheus' booming bass filled the room as if he was standing right next to her.

 _"_ _The Anchor has been stolen, by a stripling. I shall descend on this Haven with fire and fury and take it back. Let us see what manner of 'Herald' this age has brought."_ she continued to move on to the next crystal. " _Awake, in a world twisted in perversion and ruin. Awake, only to discover the light of wisdom has gone black. Samson has failed, but Calpernia stands ready."_ one after another, the crystals seemed to light up to indicate their location as she found each one. _"Calpernia prepares to set foot in the place where regret dwells. To bring it into the light. She cannot know what must be done. Cannot understand. In time, she will forgive."_ so he _was_ lying to her about something. " _How does this age stand such desolation? They sing to a 'Maker' who answers no prayers. Once I have descended, I will be their answer. I will be their light. Did the others never return from the Black City? There is no record of even our names! We are vilified by legend. They spit on our deeds and claim we brought darkness into the world. We_ discovered _the darkness. We claimed it as our own, let it permeate our being. If the others have not returned, they are lost. I am alone in my glory. I recited the old verses. How easily they come, even after so long in slumber. Yet I still do not feel the presence of Dumat-hear no whispers, no commands. Silence has fallen."_ finally the voice stopped, and her friends just stared at each other.

"That was the worst." Varric pointed out. Bull nodded in agreement, and she thought he was muttering something about demons.

"Let's...let's just keep going." she ordered. It did not take long for them to encounter something strange. Through the next room, there was a massive glowing dome of magic. The blue light emanating from the dome almost hid what was trapped within.

"Is that...a man?" Dorian wondered. Carefully she approached the dome, not wanting to trigger any traps. The closer she got, the more the dome seemed to shrink in size, until she realized that the man could barely move inside his cage. He was muttering incoherently. She thought she heard something about cinnamon.

"What is this? Who are you?" Ellana asked. The man lifted his head. His hood covered his eyes, so she could only see the bottom half of his face.

"Magister Erasthenes of Tevinter. To Corypheus I am bound to answer every question." he cried out in pain. "For Calpernia's sake, I am lost." Ellana raised her eyebrows.

"Corypheus did this to you – On Calpernia's behalf?" she asked in surprise. Erasthenes shook his head slightly.

"She knows not. I am a ruin, the jeweled husk when the butterfly leaves. I was the greatest scholar of the Old Gods in Minrathous, no, the Imperium. One night _he_ came to my door. For my relics, I thought. My writings and runes...But instead, my slave went to his side. Calpernia. To become the Vessel, and save Tevinter." he wept. She frowned.

"If Calpernia's this Vessel, what are the contents going to be?" she questioned.

"I do not know. Power. It must be some sort of power. Power like Urthemiel's, arisen in flame." he whimpered. Dorian snorted. He clearly did not subscribe to the same beliefs as his countrymen.

"Is that why Calpernia joined Corypheus? To save your empire?" she wondered.

"Yes. She seeks a leader, Corypheus, to shape Tevinter's rebirth. She would raise up the slaves, as she was raised. Bring a new order, with a heart of steel. She could do it, if she were not the Vessel." he admitted.

"If Calpernia is the one Corypheus wanted, why do this to you?" she asked quietly. The man groaned. It was obvious he was in agony. She was surprised he hadn't died of the shock of pain by now. Perhaps the magic holding him was also keeping him alive.

"For practice...I...Corypheus crafts a vessel for whatever power he seeks. Yes. But he does not need his Vessel to have free will. About her these same chains will fall. Iron, to cage lightning. My binding is the poor pencil sketch. Calpernia will be the masterpiece." he sobbed. Ellana turned to her companions.

"Corypheus couldn't risk Calpernia's spies bringing her the truth." she pointed out. They nodded in agreement.

"No fool, he. Nor she." again, he cried out in pain. Even though he was a slaver, it was hard to watch. "This chain has broken me, friend. No wings can raise my mind. Please, breach the circle. Its wards will trigger. I will be dust and light. Free." She stared down at the ground for a long time. It was a difficult choice to make.

"In his place, I'd be begging for it to end." Dorian murmured. She nodded slowly. He may be a slaver, and he had probably done some horrible things, but keeping him in this endless torment would only bring her to his level.

"Corypheus' circle will hold its destruction within, tight, tight. No fear. Only freedom." he keened. She nodded.

"All right. You seem honest, and you've suffered enough." she agreed.

"Light a lamp, would you, Calpernia? Everything's so dark." he rasped. She reached out with her palm and lightly touched the cage. With a flash of light, it dissipated, taking Erasthenes with it. He faded into dust, just as he said he would. Ellana sighed and turned to her companions.

"Let's get out of here. I have a long report to write." she said, leaving the pile of dust behind.

* * *

"The reports from our agents at the shrine are intriguing. You were correct: Once Calpernia becomes the vessel, she will lose her freedom." Leliana shook her head, brushing a lock of red hair from her eyes as a gust of wind blew through the camp. They had arrived in the Frostback Basin about a day after her original report had been delivered to the spymaster. It was clear the woman was irritated, but Ellana didn't care. She couldn't leave that man trapped in his prison. "Forgive me, but I wish you hadn't been so quick to throw the enspelled magister away." the woman said, voicing her own thoughts.

"We didn't need thumbscrews. The Inquisition can deliver mercy every now and then." she pointed out.

"At a cost." Leliana snapped before visibly calming herself. "Well, done is done. Corypheus' notes mention a place 'where regret dwells'. That is more of a mystery. Until the notes are deciphered, I intend rumors of the binding ritual to reach Calpernia's ears." Ellana nodded eagerly.

"Breaking her alliance with Corypheus can only help us." she agreed. Leliana nodded slowly. She seemed bothered.

"Breaching his sanctum might give Corypheus pause. Yet Calpernia is silent, as are her agents. We have given her something to think about." she said with a small grin that did not meet her eyes.

"What's bothering you?" Ellana asked, hesitant to pry into the spymaster's personal life. She didn't have the closeness with her that she did with the others. The bard hesitated as well before pulling a worn piece of paper from her cloak. She handed it over.

"From Divine Justinia." she murmured. Ellana's eyes widened slightly.

"That's a shock. You were all right reading it?" she wondered. It had clearly been read numerous times. A small smile passed her lips.

"Thank you for the concern, Inquisitor. But I am. This message was written months, perhaps even years ago...to be delivered to me if she died. I've heard of such contingency plans. A sudden death often leaves loose ends. I am to go to Valence, a small village on the Waking Sea. There is something hidden there." she admitted.

"Do you know what you're looking for?" she wondered. Leliana shrugged.

"The Divine was a powerful woman who used her position to obtain all sorts of things. Whatever she hid in Valence would very likely benefit the Inquisition and must be kept from falling into the wrong hands. If I'm lucky, she will have instructions for me." she admitted. Ellana did not much like the idea of going all the way to Valence for a secret that might not even be that important, but she also didn't like the thought of the bard going alone.

"I'll help however I can." she finally said. Leliana nodded.

"Wonderful. I was hoping you would agree to come with me. If what is hidden in Valence is as valuable as I think it is, we might not be the only ones looking for it." she warned. "Anyway, if just the two of us leave now, we will be able to make the journey much more quickly." she decided.

"Won't a horse tire if we push it too hard?" Ellana asked. Leliana grinned.

"We won't be taking horses." she said mysteriously. Ellana followed her through the camp, wondering what the woman meant. She gasped when they came around a corner. Three harts were seen in a pen, but there was one that caught her eye. The creature could only be described as glorious. It was massive, much larger than any deer, elk, or halla she had seen in her life, with a vast rack of antlers that were probably wider than she was tall. The beast had fur the color of charcoal, a deep gray that was shaggy around its chest, but smoothed out as it got closer to its hindquarters. Its hind legs were a lighter shade of gray, striped with black. Liquid brown eyes, so dark they were almost black, stared tranquilly at her, and yet there was a hidden fire in them, as if the beast could go wild at any moment.

"I wouldn't approach that one, Inquisitor. She's wild." a voice said from nearby. She hadn't realized that she had walked into the pen until she noticed how much closer the creatures were. Stubbornly, Ellana turned to the young man.

"So am I." she pointed out before turning back to the hart. She had never seen one in person before, only heard stories. The other two were equally beautiful, with their dark, red-brown coats, but there was something about the charcoal that was quietly dignified.

"Inquisitor, I really, wouldn't. She's already kicked three grooms in the head today, and she nearly impaled a fourth." the man warned again. Ellana stuck her hand out, ignoring him. At first the hart huffed at her, pawing at the ground and threateningly shaking her head. Ellana slowed herself and approached palm-up, lowering her head in respect.

" _Ir abelas, lethallan. Hamin."_ she murmured. The hart tilted her head, and Ellana knew she was listening. " _Ar_ _'_ _falon."_ She was still, and could hear her heart pounding as she waited for a reaction. After an eternity, the hart moved so quickly that for a moment she thought it was attacking her. But a soft, gentle nose pressed against her palm. She smiled as she stepped closer and began to stroke her muzzle.

"Well I'll be damned. She's picked you. I didn't know they did that." the stable hand said in awe. Ellana nodded as she reached up to scratch behind her ears.

"I've never encountered one myself, but they are incredibly loyal creatures." she explained. "Does she have a name?" she questioned. The boy shrugged.

"We've just been referring to her as 'the wild one.' The other two were tame, and we brought them here, but we just caught this one not long ago. She put up a hell of a fight." he revealed. She frowned.

"You deserve freedom." she murmured, stepping aside and gesturing out the open gate. The hart stared for a time, looking back and forth between Ellana and the gate. She took a step forward, then huffed and tossed her head stubbornly, nudging her on the shoulder. The fire in the hart's liquid eyes reminded her of the burning sun above them. Ellana smiled. " _Elgara_." she dubbed.

 _"_ What does that mean?" Leliana asked. She had forgotten that the woman had led her here.

"It is our word for the sun." she said. Leliana nodded.

"A fitting name. Shall we go?" she asked. Ellana nodded, walking around to the hart's back. Elgara knelt down, and Ellana grasped the fur on the back of her neck before swinging her leg over. She stood, and Ellana felt a flash of nervousness. She had never been so high up without full control before. It was unnerving. Leliana mounted one of the other harts and began leading the way. Ellana hoped the mission was worth it.


	32. Chapter 32

The chantry was too quiet. Each breath taken was like a shout. Each footstep was a thunderclap. Something was wrong here. It was difficult for her to be in this place. It lacked the comfort that it used to have, years ago, in another lifetime. It was familiar, it would always be familiar, but being there was like seeing a former lover. She had fond memories, but nothing could ever be the same.

The Inquisitor trekked on silently beside her, the soft soles of her leather boots not making a sound, but adding to the heavy silence. She watched her study the building, concern in her large, grey-green eyes. She had always found elves beautiful, with their large, curious eyes. In a way they reminded her of a child's eyes, slightly too big for her face, but not in a way that was odd. They seemed to shine with an inner light that other people lacked. Leliana wondered if that was simply because of who the Inquisitor was as a person, or if her race simply had something that others did not. She knelt before the great statue of Andraste that stood in the center of the hall.

"It's just as I remember it." she breathed. In many ways, it was. It still held the same beauty, the same calming aura, but it was missing a key ingredient. Dorothea. Justinia. She had been the glue that held this chantry together. She _was_ this chantry.

"You didn't tell me you'd been here before." Ellana mentioned. She nodded, breathing in the smell of smoke from the braziers.

"After the Blight ended, I came here to see Justinia. She was just Dorothea, then, a revered mother." she admitted. Ellana nodded, still casing the area with a feeling of nonchalance that Leliana found impressive.

"It's...peaceful here. You must have good memories of this place." the woman commented. She truly was hitting Leliana's feelings right on the nose. It was surprising to her that one raised in a forest was as astute as any trained bard she had known, if not more so.

"It was a place of comfort. It is good to see it untouched by Corypheus." she agreed. She was unused to divulging her true feelings, but around the Inquisitor they tended to slip out. Ellana heard the rustling of skirts before she did, and turned toward a side hallway. A familiar figure emerged, surprise on her plain, but pretty, features.

"Leliana? Is that you?" the woman asked. Leliana smiled as convincingly as she could. Her own mother would have thought she was being genuine.

"Sister Natalie! What are you doing here? I thought you were in Val Royeaux?" she asked, pouring on the charm. Natalie relaxed visibly, if only by a fraction.

"No, I've been here since Justinia died. This place makes me feel like...like she's still with us." the sister replied, embracing her. Years ago, Leliana would have scoffed at the performance, but decades of training taught her to keep her reactions in check. She made eye contact with Ellana and gave the slightest shake of her head. The woman's dark brows furrowed, but her features smoothed before Natalie pulled away.

"Inquisitor, this is Natalie. A trusted friend." she introduced. The Inquisitor smiled politely at her and bowed her head.

"Wait, 'Inquisitor'? You...you brought the Inquisitor here?" Natalie gasped. It was hard not to shake her head ruefully. Sending a sister to do a bard's job was just sad. Natalie's face was so pale that her light brown freckles looked nearly black against it. She recovered fairly quickly, and knelt before her. "My lady, forgive me for not recognizing you earlier." she blurted.

"You owe me twenty readings of the Canticle of Trials for that insult." Ellana drawled. Leliana smirked slightly. She did not know which was better: the Inquisitor's sarcasm, or the impressive amount of knowledge she had about human religion. She chuckled.

"She doesn't mean it." she promised, helping Natalie to her feet. "Natalie, listen: There is something hidden here, something Justinia left for me." The look of false surprise on Natalie's face disgusted her.

"Oh? Really? What is it?" she asked, assuring Leliana that she hadn't actually found whatever they were looking for, but that she knew of it.

"I don't know, but we'll find it. I'm curious to see what brought us all here." she replied severely. "Justinia's letter came with instructions from me. They were a little cryptic. 'Always remember that faith sprung from a barren branch, that light has no fear of darkness, above all, that strength lives in an open heart.'" she recited. Ellana looked deep in thought.

"She must be hinting at something here! Let's look around." Natalie said excitedly. The Inquisitor began to stride away, and Leliana suspected that she had already solved Justinia's puzzle.

"Do they still sing verses from the Benedictions every Friday? That canticle was Justinia's favorite." she queried. Natalie was looking more and more nervous as time went by.

"...Y-yes, of course. We'd never give up the traditions of our most beloved Divine." she assured her. A small part of her heart hurt at the admission. There was a tiny part of her that had hoped...

"That is lovely to hear." she murmured. They continued walking along, and she wondered where Ellana was. "I used to stare up at the Breach sometimes. It's terrifying, but beautiful in its way." she commented.

"It is beautiful." the sister agreed.

"Have you seen it by sunrise?" she wondered.

"When the sun rises through it, it splits into what looks like a thousand suns like a broken mirror." she chattered. Her tongue loosened the more they talked.

"Yes, spectacular, isn't it?" Natalie was bobbing her head unwittingly. She felt a moment of panic as she tried to find the Inquisitor. She had been gone for a long time. She took a calming breath.

 _"Doubt is easy. It takes courage to trust. Your compassion is your greatest strength, Leliana_." She recalled. Justinia had said that to her long ago, back when she was still Dorothea. A pang of sadness hit her. It was difficult to think of her lost friend, at times. There was the sound of shifting stone, and suddenly Ellana appeared out of nowhere.

"What was that?" Natalie asked.

"I think we opened something." Leliana commented. As Natalie moved toward the new opening, Leliana drew her knife and pressed her against Andraste's statue. "Sorry to keep you waiting." she growled.

"Leliana, stop. What are you doing?" Ellana asked in her clipped accent. She frowned. She had been certain the girl understood what was going on.

"I'm protecting us." she turned back to the sister who she had known in that other lifetime. "They _never_ sing the Benedictions on Friday, Natalie. Something so simple, and you got it so wrong. I wanted to believe, but you were lying from the start." the woman remained silent, looking braver than she had the entire time they had been there. "Keep that pretty mouth shut if you must, dear. You've already told me everything I needed to know. The prickleweed burs on your hem, talking about the sun rising through the Breach. It all points to a single place: Morelle in the Dales. Grand Cleric Victoire's bastion. She sent you, didn't she? Victoire was always an opportunist." she finished ruefully.

"Who is this Grand Cleric? I've never heard of her." Ellana piped up. Leliana glanced back at her, making sure to keep a firm hold on the blade against the sister's neck.

"An experienced cleric. She never agreed with Justinia, but kept her ideas to herself. I suppose now, with Justinia dead, she thought she could make her move." she accused.

"I want to know what this Grand Cleric planned here." the Inquisitor pressed.

"She sent Natalie here to see what Justinia was hiding, no?" she assumed.

"The Inquisition has turned Thedas away from the true chantry. It must be stopped." Natalie spat, speaking for the first time.

"Stop us? You must be joking?" she scoffed.

"Mother Victoire is well loved by many. The Inquisition has more enemies than you know." the woman threatened.

"And Victoire thinks she can ally with them?" Leliana doubted.

"We don't have to be at odds, Natalie. You could come with us, join the Inquisition." Ellana suggested. Leliana did not know how she could constantly forgive people after everything that had happened to her. The Inquisitor had told her nothing, and surprisingly Cullen, who she was certain had known for a very long time, kept his mouth shut as well. It was actually a letter from her Keeper that revealed the mysterious elf's past. Deshanna had not wanted Ellana to be hurt, and she knew that someone with authority would need to know the truth about her life in order to keep her from harm. Leliana had been shocked when Ellana grew so close to Cullen, a former Templar.

"I was called to serve the Grand Cleric. I will not betray her. Kill me then. I am not afraid to die for my beliefs. At least _I_ still know what I believe." Natalie defied. Leliana was surprised at the fierceness in her eyes. She pressed the dagger a bit closer to her neck, just enough that she could feel the bend of her flesh. She felt the emptiness that usually came when she killed. Nothing but ice and certainty. There was the softest of touches on her elbow, and she flinched. Ellana was there, small hand on her arm, compassion in her eyes.

"Release her, Leliana. She is no threat." she implored. Leliana blinked. Immediately she felt defensive.

"The Grand Cleric-" she began.

"She is one woman. We are the Inquisition." Ellana interrupted. For a moment, blue eyes locked with gray-green. There was a silent war going on, and she wasn't sure if Natalie was even aware of it. Finally, her muscles relaxed, and she dropped the blade away from her neck.

"Go. Run to your mistress, and tell her she has a choice. The Inquisition is coming." Natalie listened, and Leliana turned to the hidden room. A small golden box sat atop a shelf. She opened it up, only to find...nothing. "No!" she gasped. "This can't be it, there's nothing here!" she exclaimed.

"It's not what you expected, that doesn't mean it's nothing." Ellana murmured. Leliana did not look at her. She was still shaken by what had happened during their silent exchange. She ran her hands over the box, finding carvings beneath her fingers.

"There's a message, carved into the lid! 'The Left Hand should lay down her burden.'" she couldn't identify the feeling that welled up inside her. Regret? Relief? Sorrow? Joy? Somehow it was a blend of all of these things. "She's...releasing me. The Divine has a long reach, but it is always her Left hand that stretches out. A thousand lies, a thousand deaths. Her commands, but my conscience that bore the consequences." she whispered.

"She apologized in the Fade. She said she had failed you. This is what she meant." Ellana reminded her. She shook her head.

"All this time, Justinia carried the fear that she'd been using me, just like I'd been used in the past. But Marjolaine's games were trifles. Justinia gambled with the fate of nations. She needed me. No one else could have done what I did. She knows that." she admitted. It was odd to finally say it. Years of killing, of covering up murders and other crimes, and she was supposed to...forget it? Forgive herself?

"Then you have to let it go. Let her go. You don't owe her anything anymore." Ellana was voicing her own thoughts at this point. She stared down at the tiny carved box.

"If it were not for you, I would have killed Natalie and called it a good thing. Thank you for showing me what was right when I couldn't see it for myself. There are things that must be said, but not here. Let us return to the Basin. I have much to think about." she said, leaving the chantry, and her regrets, behind.

* * *

Ellana stood back while she watched Leliana discuss something with one of her agents, someone Ellana only knew as 'Rector'. She had been frightened of the woman's actions in Valence, but it had turned out well.

"I'm told Ambassador Montilyet is pleased at the...restraint you showed in Valence." Rector commented. The spymaster rolled her eyes. There was something in them that Ellana had never seen before. A warmth. A bit of happiness. Forgiveness.

"She's positively beside herself. I'll never hear the end of it. 'Niceness before knives, Leliana. Haven't I always told you?'" she mimicked. Ellana smiled, as did Rector.

"Will that be all, my lady?" he asked in a warmer voice than she would have expected of a man speaking with his superior.

"For now." she agreed. He bowed to her, then turned and bowed to Ellana. He gave Ellana a wink as she walked by, and she had a feeling there was something she had missed in their conversation. She was surprised to see Leliana watching him walk away. Suddenly she felt extremely intrusive.

"How have you been feeling since Valence?" she asked, trying to move past the awkwardness. There was a blush in the bard's cheeks that she was unused to.

"Good! Wonderful! Valence was something of a rebirth for me. If you hadn't been with me at Valence, I would have killed Natalie. I'd have told you that I didn't have a choice, but there is always a choice. I am more than this. I am more than what Justinia made me." she admitted. Ellana smiled at the pride in her colleague. There was a new light in her that she enjoyed seeing.

"You've exceeded her. She could never have imagined the power you now hold." she assured her.

"And now I will know how to wield that power wisely. I have to stay true to who I really am – before spymaster, Left Hand, or bard. I almost lost myself." the woman admitted. Ellana grinned.

"I am glad you are finding your way back. Perhaps Rector can assist you with that." she teased. Leliana's face reddened.

"Rector? I...Wilbur is a very good man. Perhaps I should think on it." she admitted. Her smile became playful. "Besides, I have seen how being with the Commander has improved your mood. I suppose it could be good for me." It was Ellana's turn to blush.

"I...yes. It is good to have someone." she agreed.

"Thank you again, Inquisitor." the bard said. "When I return to Skyhold, I will pass your love onto Cullen." she promised. Ellana chuckled.

"Thank you, Leliana. I'm glad I could help." she replied, leaving the spymaster alone. She looked out across the camp in the Frostback Basin. There was much more to be done.


	33. Chapter 33

She shivered as the wind surrounded her with an icy breeze, the scent of salt water filling her nostrils. All around her the sounds of weapons clinking lightly as people shifted back and forth could be heard. Quiet murmurs and soft laughs surrounded her. She watched her breath freeze before her as she tried rocking back and forth to stay warm. Wiggling her toes, and clenching and unclenching her fingers, she looked to Svarah Sun-Hair. The Thane nodded and thrust a hand forward. As one, everyone began to sprint forward. She realized that the Avvar were completely terrifying. She struggled to keep up with the group's long-legged strides, but she gritted her teeth and kept going. Hakkonites began springing out from behind rocks, roaring fiercely. The Stone-Bears roared back. Never had she seen such savage battle. She let fire fly from the tip of her staff, regretting it every time the flame shot away, taking its heat with it. The Stone-Bears began leaping onto the wall, climbing up more quickly than she could have imagined a person could.

"Inquisitor! The gates!" Svarah cried. Ellana gritted her teeth against their incessant chattering and rushed through. She had a mission to complete, cold be damned. Dorian, Varric, and Iron Bull by her side, she fought her way through the Hakkonites behind the gate. Soon they stood before a massive temple that had been hidden from them before now.

"That's...big." Bull commented.

"Ten royals says the dragon is in there." Varric quipped.

"No one is going to bet against you when we know we'll lose." Dorian snorted. Varric shrugged.

"It was worth a shot." he replied.

"Let's get inside, I'm freezing my tits off." Iron Bull grunted. She nodded, hoping it would be somewhat warmer in the temple.

" _Fenedhis_." she growled when she realized that the inside was somehow colder than the outside. She could feel her limbs slowing, and wondered what magic cursed this place. She saw a brazier up ahead and pointed urgently. "Run!" she shouted through chattering teeth. As they reached the fire, she groaned in relief. It felt as though her bones were thawing. Looking ahead, she saw another. It seemed there was a pattern to this place. When she felt sufficiently warm, they ran again. Numerous times they were attacked by Hakkonites as they followed this pattern through the temple. She wondered why the giant imbeciles didn't need to stand by the fire to be warm. It irritated her.

"GURD HAROFSEN, CALLED THE CUTTER, WYVERN-SLAYER, LOWLAND BANE...BEGS OF HAKKON, BRING HIS BODY BLOODY BLESSINGS, COLD, AND PAIN!" a nearby voice bellowed. She jumped, startled. It seemed they were close. As they rounded a corner, she gasped.

In the center of the chamber, a massive white dragon hovered in the air, seemingly frozen in the sky. Atop a rocky platform stood a man, his hands held up in an act of defiance. Her eyes widened in shock. Could that be Inquisitor Ameridan? The man whose remains they had been searching for? He was shrouded in some kind of light, so it was difficult to see his features. The booming voice began repeating itself, and she realized that it was all part of the ritual. A pair of Hakkonites rushed at them, and she did not hesitate to unleash a stream of fire so hot that some of the ice actually started to melt around them. She sighed happily at the warmth of it. The two warriors were defending a circle of men that surrounded Gurd Harofsen, chanting and completing their ritual. She screeched in frustration at being unable to leave the heat of the brazier's fires without freezing to death. More warriors continued to arrive, swinging their massive war hammers at their heads.

"We have to take out the others! They're preventing us from attacking Hakkon!" Dorian shouted as he shot bolts of fire at their enemies.

"I understand!" she called back. Running alone to the next brazier, she unleashed her magic on the mages doing the ritual. She tried to ignore the sounds of their screams as she burned them, but it tore at her ears despite her efforts. Gurd turned from his place with a snarl. Their ritual hadn't been complete, but already he had been changed into some kind of monstrous vessel for Hakkon to take over. He was easily twice her height, and thrice again as wide as she. His great, horned helm made him look even larger and more menacing, but there was no one else nearby to help her. Gritting her teeth, she unleashed another stream of flame. The beast of a man reacted as if he had been bitten by a fly. She yelped as he raised a hand and shot a ball of ice at the brazier she hovered near, extinguishing it. Immediately she ran back to where she had come from, where Dorian was finishing off a warrior.

"Where have you been?" he yelled.

"I think I've angered it." she ignored his question and furtively pointed back towards Gurd's advancing form.

"Shit." Dorian muttered, grabbing her by the arm and running to find the others. A series of bolts exploded into Gurd's chest, but he kept advancing.

"What did you do?" Varric cried as he reloaded Bianca.

"Just help me kill it!" she hollered back. Suddenly Iron Bull was there, swinging his axe like a madman. She saw the look of panic on Dorian's face and let loose another fireball. This one seemed to have an effect on the creature, staggering it. Bull's axe crashed into Gurd's abdomen, and when he pulled it away, blood began to fountain everywhere. Dropping her staff, she began to throw fireball after fireball with her hands alone, hoping that she would be quicker with her body than she was with her weapon.

"No!" Dorian shouted as Gurd's hammer cascaded toward Bull's head. Using a trick she had learned from Vivienne, Ellana used waves of magic to quickly carry her to where Bull was standing, effectively tackling him out of the way.

"How did you-" Bull grunted as she turned and unleashed a storm of lightning and fire onto Gurd. A blade of spirit formed in her hands and she charged forward, screaming as she felt the blade cut through him. The giant fell to his knees and she used her blade to slice through his neck. The sound of his head bouncing on the icy floor was oddly satisfying. She realized suddenly that the air had warmed substantially. It was still cold, but she did not feel like she would die from exposure. There was a strange hum in the air, and a set of stairs arose from the ground. Looking at her bloodied companions, she climbed them. Shock filled her when she reached the top.

"Inquisitor." she said softly to the elven man who knelt before her. His sea-green eyes were intent as they studied her. She had a feeling he was looking at her _vallaslin_. He had _vallaslin_ of his own.

"Inquisitor." he replied, his voice a deep, commanding sound. " _Andaran atish'an._ I am glad Drakon's friendship with our people has remained strong." She was hesitant to tell him the truth.

"It has not. Drakon's son, Kordillus the Second, destroyed the Dales." she began.

"Drakon's son...How long?" he murmured. Ellana sighed. This news probably would have torn her apart, if she had been in his place.

"You were the last Inquisitor. There has not been another since you disappeared...800 years ago." she revealed. If he was shaken, he did not show it on his face.

"Drakon was my oldest friend, he would have sent someone to find me." he argued.

"I'm afraid Drakon was a little busy with the Darkspawn pouring down from the Anderfels." Dorian pointed out. Ameridan nodded.

"I see." he paused, a look of hope gleaming in his eyes. "Telana escaped the battle. Did she...do the records say what became of her?" She felt awful unloading all this terrible news upon him, but she could not lie.

"She returned to the island. From what we can tell, she died trying to reach you through dreams." she revealed.

"I asked her not to. She was a good hunter, and the love of my life, but she never... I never wanted this job. Hunting demons was so much simpler than politics. I was a good hunter. I did not want to lead an organization. But Drakon told me I was needed...as I suspect you were needed." he suggested. She shrugged.

"It hasn't all been bad." she supposed.

"I'm glad to hear it...and sorry to burden you with my unfinished business. The dragon carries the spirit of an Avvar god. I lacked the strength to kill it. My own magic was able to bind us all, locked in time. But when the cultists drew that spirit into another vessel it disrupted my bindings. It is breaking free." he explained. She nodded.

"I'm already fighting one would-be god. I can make time for one more." she agreed.

"Then I leave this in good hands. The passage of years can be delayed, but not ignored. I will soon join Telana at Andraste's side." he nodded toward a journal that lay beside him. "Take this. It holds the last few memories of an old hunter who was neither as wise or as strong as he thought. Fight well, Inquisitor. I am honored to have met you." with those final words, he faded away. She grabbed the journal just before an explosion sent them tumbling down the stairs. The dragon collapsed to the ground as well, and it roared at her before taking flight. It seemed she had one more thing to take care of. She turned to her companions, shaking her head at their battered state.

"You three are confined to camp." she ordered.

"I'm fine, Peanut, really." Dorian argued.

"You're all bleeding profusely. We will go to camp and the three of you will get medical attention and stay there, and that is an order. I'll take the others with me." she commanded. Bull started to pout and she rolled her eyes.

"Well what about you?" Varric retorted. She pinched the bridge of her nose to fight the headache they were giving her.

"I'm fine, Varric. We're done with this conversation." she growled. The others continued to grumble as she led them out. Their concern was touching, but annoying. She had a god to kill.


	34. Chapter 34

She stood ankle deep in cold, slushy water as they crept over to the icy fortress Hakkon had created on the ocean. She was starting to wonder if she still had toes at this point. Blackwall, Vivienne, and Sera snuck alongside her. The others had been left at the camp, but they had still been nattering on like hens when she headed out. Other than freezing her bits off, she felt fine, if a little tired. The dragon suddenly roared, the sound echoing off the icy platform.

"I think it saw us." Vivienne commented. She nodded in agreement.

"LOWLANDERS, I AM THE BREATH OF WINTER, THE COLD WIND OF WAR! JOIN ME IN BATTLE AND DIE!" an echoing voice called. She growled softly.

"Bloody dragon...bloody talking dragon." she muttered under her breath as her wet boots skidded across the ice. The beast nearly landed on top of her, and she had to roll out of the way. Only Sera had distanced herself, as Blackwall was ferociously slicing at the creature's rough legs, and Vivienne was bellowing in a most unladylike fashion as she swung her spirit blade. Letting her own blade form in her hands, she dove in as well. Her tactic was to stay as close as possible. She had learned that from Bull. Being too far away could get you killed. Her thoughts came to life as the dragon began beating his wings, creating an air current that brought everything that was at a distance right into his range. She could see Sera trying to hold onto her bow as the air drew her in. She slammed hard against a wall of ice, and Ellana couldn't see her any longer. "Sera!" she shouted, but the wind ripped her words away.

Realizing that she couldn't stop her assault, she bathed the dragon in fire as she swung her sword with tired arms. It finally felt as if she had cut through the thick scales when Hakkon took off in the air, showering them with shards of ice and snow. She threw up a barrier just in time to shield them from the frozen daggers that rained upon them.

"Cover me!" she ordered as she ran off to where she had last seen Sera. The girl was piled in a heap next to the base of ice. Her forehead was bleeding from a nasty gash. Ellana took her pulse, and sighed in relief when she realized that she lived. Pulling a handful of elfroot from her pouch, she put it in her mouth and chewed it until it was a pulpy mass. Spitting it into her hand she quickly plastered it over the cut in the girl's forehead. It would stop the bleeding and speed the healing process. Using a small bit of magic, she revived her.

"Bloody arse, tha' hurt." Sera grumbled from the ground. Ellana quickly pulled her to her feet.

"I know you're used to fighting in range, but with this thing it's probably safer to stay close." she suggested. Sera nodded and the pair ran back to where the dragon was now landing.

After what seemed like hours, she and Hakkon were the only ones left standing. The dragon was heavily wounded, but so was she. If she thought she had the time to let it bleed out, she might have, but her companions were strewn across the battlefield in various states of injury. She was bleeding from a wound in her left arm and one in her thigh, but she was numb to the pain. She was numb to everything, in fact. She was too cold to think, and she knew that time was running out. Her back was pressed against a wall of ice as she tried to focus. A high-pitched squeal came from the creature, and she took advantage of its posturing. Coming out from behind her wall, she faced the beast with a snarl. Raising her hands, she summoned the rest of her strength, and fire began to rain down. The dragon hissed and squealed as it was hit, and she charged, spirit blade in hand, slicing down the length of its throat. With one last gurgle, it tipped over, dead. She fell to her knees, panting and head swimming from the loss of blood.

"I've never gotten to see you take down a dragon in person!" a familiar voice cheered, sounding very close but somehow miles away. She felt hands on her, but she didn't have the energy to shock them away.

"I'll have to invite you next time." she mumbled. She could hear Scout Harding's laughter, but everything was so fuzzy, she couldn't see.

"I think this will satisfy me." the dwarf promised.

"Your loss." she slurred.

"I must say, it's fun to see it up close." she admitted. Ellana blinked, hissing at the feeling of a needle sliding through her skin.

"Maybe you should get a new title. 'Dragon Slayer Harding' should work." she joked. Her vision was starting to refocus. She watched one of the healers sewing up her arm and immediately turned her head, nauseated. She fumbled in her pouch with her free hand and pulled out some herbs, popping them in her mouth to fight her roiling stomach.

"A fancy title goes against the point of being a scout." Harding reminded her. "Nobody should see me coming. Inquisitor Ameridan would've been proud that you finished what he started. It's strange...history forgot so much of who he was. They never knew he died saving everyone. Do you ever feel that way?" Ellana was frowning. She hissed as she felt the needle going through the skin of her thigh. She shoved some elfroot at the healer, who chuckled and put it in his mouth to chew it into a mush for a poultice.

"You weren't in the fortress, how did you hear about Ameridan?" she wondered, completely ignoring the question. Harding chuckled.

"I'm a scout, remember? Who do you think writes all the messages Leliana reads?" she informed her. Ellana nodded. She was starting to feel a bit less dizzy.

"There are things they don't understand. Things no one outside the Inquisition will ever know." she finally answered. Harding nodded.

"Some of the secrets are necessary, don't get me wrong. It's just... every time you're more than just a person to someone...you're also less than a person to them. They don't see that a real, normal woman fought the Avvar and killed that dragon! And they certainly don't know about your strange fixation with elfroot!" she teased. Ellana snorted, patting her pouch full of the stuff.

"My feelings for elfroot are classified, Scout Harding." she joked. Lace laughed.

"I'll carry your secret to my pyre. For what it's worth...nice work, Lavellan. Let's get you all back to camp." she suggested. Someone lifted her and set her on a stretcher. She grunted. She hated this treatment, but supposed it was necessary. Her body was exhausted and weak from blood loss, and she was still freezing cold.

"Are the others all right?" she asked, trying to look around. Harding shrugged.

"A bit beaten up, like you, but everybody's breathing." she promised. Ellana sighed in relief.

"Thank the Creators." she sighed. Harding laughed. "What's so funny?" The dwarf shook her head.

"I was just thinking about when this all started and you hated everyone here." she pointed out. Ellana snorted.

"I did not hate everyone." she argued. Lace laughed in her face.

"You absolutely did! I'm pretty sure you have electrocuted everyone who follows you now." she drawled. It hurt to laugh, but she did it anyway.

"You all grew on me. Like a tumor. Or a plague." she quipped back. Harding's laughter was infectious, and it made her feel better.

"I'm glad we could contaminate you with our disease-ridden personalities." she retorted. Ellana smiled. She was lucky to be where she was. It was nice to know she had so many people who cared about her.

"Inquisitor!" a booming voice called. She lifted her head slightly, seeing Svarah Sun-Hair sloshing through the icy water to meet them. "You have done more for us than some people of Stone-Bear Hold. It is not right that a guest do so much. The hold has spoken, and you are no guest. You are kin." Ellana's eyes widened in surprise. This was certainly unexpected. "More than that, your deeds have earned a legend-mark worthy of one who broke the Jaws of Hakkon. From today, you are known to us as Inquisitor First-Thaw!" the other Avvar that were with her began to cheer. Ellana raised an eyebrow.

"What? I mean...I'm sorry that's...but...First-Thaw?" she stammered. Svarah nodded eagerly, seemingly un-offended.

"Yes. When the ice breaks and new spring comes to give life to the world. It is a very good name." she promised. Ellana forced a smile.

"Thank you, Svarah Sun-Hair, I am honored." she replied. The Thane bowed her head and left her side.

"First-Thaw." Harding was choking on laughter.

"Say another word, and I'll put you at the top of one of those big trees you like so much." she hissed. The woman's freckles were stark against her paled skin.

"You're talking pretty big for someone who's on a stretcher." she swallowed. Ellana rolled her eyes.

"I still have sway." she grunted. As they arrived in the camp, people were bustling all around to take care of her. She could hear a commotion as someone tried to shove their way through.

"Inquisitor!" Professor Kenric cried. She sighed. He would have many questions, and she would have to tell him the truth about everything he believed. It probably wouldn't be easy. He was breathless and red-cheeked. Sometimes it amazed her that this boy was a professor. "I understand you located the final resting place of Inquisitor Ameridan!" She bit her lip.

"Well, it's not exactly that simple..." she began.

"What do you mean?" he inquired.

"Ameridan was still alive." she answered bluntly.

"I'm sorry?" the boy gaped.

"A ritual kept Inquisitor Ameridan alive all these centuries, binding him and the dragon." she explained.

"Oh...Did his...Telana cast some sort of spell before retreating?" he wondered. She hissed through her teeth as a healer put some kind of poultice on her wounded leg. It definitely wasn't made of the elfroot she had given him. She shook her head at him. "Or...you...you're not implying that Ameridan was a mage?" Sometimes he was sharper than she thought. "I'm committed to the truth, but if such an important figure in Chantry history was revealed to have been a mage..." Maybe it was the burning pain of her wounds, or maybe she was too cold and tired to care about tact, but his comments annoyed her.

"Not _just_ a mage, Kenric. An _elven_ mage." she snapped. She expected him to be completely offended, but he actually looked...excited.

"Oh...oh...Andraste's dimples! This will be...I'll either be famous or beheaded! This upends centuries of history! Not to mention families claiming descent from him. There may be...consternation." he shook his head, scenarios and calculations racing through his mind. "Nevertheless, what matters is the truth. If he was elven, then the Dalish...Well, it will be... just brilliant! I will spread the word appropriately. Thank you again for this marvelous opportunity!" he cried before running off to write letters or whatever his plan was.

"That went...well?" Harding offered. Ellana shrugged. At least he hadn't had a meltdown. In fact he seemed quite receptive to her information.

"I'm just glad this is over and we can go home." she decided. Harding snorted.

"Speak for yourself. You'll probably send me off to another desert or freezing wasteland." she reminded her. Ellana rolled her eyes.

"Keep that attitude and I'll make sure you get lost in another swamp full of undead." she threatened jokingly. Harding laughed.

"We'll see about that." she chuckled. Ellana grinned. She was glad to be going home. Hopefully she would make it.


	35. Chapter 35

She leaned over the war table, still sniffling from the remnants of the cold she had acquired in the Frostback Basin. She was still trying to wrap her head around the whole situation. Morrigan had shown her an Eluvian, an artifact of her people that was used to travel between worlds. Now the woman said that Corypheus was after one in the Arbor Wilds, and that obtaining one would allow him to reach his goal of physically entering the Fade. Her advisors, all staring stunned at the table, were having the same reaction to the news the witch had brought them. Josephine was on the verge of tears, Cullen was frowning so hard she thought it would become a permanent expression, and even Leliana wore shock openly on her normally obscure features.

"With an Eluvian, Corypheus could cross into the Fade in the flesh?" the spymaster breathed.

"Indeed. The Inquisitor can attest that these artifacts still work if one knows how to use them." Morrigan revealed. Cullen locked eyes with her, worry crossing his face. She gave a slight shake of her head. She would tell him about it later. Something was off about him today, and she couldn't tell what it was.

"What happens if Corypheus enters the Fade?" he asked. He held a curiosity toward magic that she wouldn't have expected of a Templar.

"Why, he will gain his heart's desire, and take the power of a god." Morrigan drawled bluntly. Everyone shifted uncomfortably. She shrugged. "Or, and this is more likely, the lunatic will unleash forces that tear the world apart." she almost sounded cheerful about the whole prospect. Ellana shook her head. They had come too far to lose now.

"I won't allow it. I can't." she argued. Morrigan nodded.

"Indeed. Should Corypheus succeed, do not doubt that you would be the first to feel his holy wrath." she quipped. Josephine dabbed at the corners of her eyes and cleared her throat.

"Pardon me, but...does this mean that everything's lost unless we get to the Eluvian before him?" her voice quavered. Cullen straightened, but there was a hint of defeat in his tone.

"Corypheus has a head start, no matter how quickly our army moves." he reminded them.

"We should gather our allies before we march." Josephine suggested.

"Can we wait for them? We should send our spies ahead to the Arbor Wilds." Leliana argued.

"Without support from the soldiers? You'd lose half of them!" Cullen snapped.

"Then what should we do?" Josephine cried in exasperation. Ellana smacked her hand down hard against the wooden table. The bickering trio turned as one to stare at her.

"You overcome it. All three of you. Together. Josephine, have our allies send scouts to meet us in the Wilds. Leliana, your fastest agents will join them. Together, we'll have enough spies to slow down Corypheus' army until Cullen's soldiers arrive." she ordered. Morrigan chuckled and cleared her throat.

"Such confidence, but the Arbor Wilds are not so kind to visitors. Old elven magic lingers in those woods." she pointed out.

"We'd be remiss not to take advantage of your knowledge, Lady Morrigan. Please, lend us your expertise." Josephine recovered.

"'Tis why I came here. Although it is good to see its value recognized." she preened. Ellana wrinkled her nose. The witch was quite vain sometimes.

"Any further instructions, Inquisitor?" Cullen asked. He was practically twitching, and sweat beaded on his forehead. Worrying about him even more than usual, she stared at him as she spoke.

"The Inquisition began as a handful of soldiers. Thanks to you, we're now a force that will topple a self-proclaimed god. I could ask for no finer council, no better guidance." she proclaimed.

"I speak for all of us when I answer: We could ask for no finer cause." Cullen said, licking his lips. He looked almost guilty.

"We'll hound Corypheus in the Wilds before he can find the temple or this 'Eluvian.'" Leliana promised. With that, the meeting ended, and Cullen bolted from the room before she could speak to him. She moved to follow, but Josephine grabbed her arm.

"Inquisitor, a moment. I wanted to inform you that it will likely take about a week before our forces will be ready to move to the Wilds. Hopefully we can get word to our allies sooner than that, but it will be a process." she explained. She nodded.

"Of course. All we can do is try to move more quickly." she muttered. Josephine nodded.

"I will do what I can." she agreed. Ellana hurried out of the war room, but Cullen was nowhere to be found. She made her way over toward his office, but was intercepted by one of the scouts.

"If you're looking for the Commander, he's speaking with Seeker Pentaghast." he revealed.

"Thank you." she said before turning back toward the armory. She could hear Cassandra arguing before she entered the building.

"You asked for my opinion, and I've given it. Why would you expect it to change?" she growled.

"I expect you to keep your word! It's relentless. I can't..." Cullen was saying as she slowly opened the door.

"You give yourself too little credit!" Cassandra cried. Cullen was scrubbing a hand through his hair, a telltale sign of his anxiety.

"If I'm unable to fulfill what vows I kept, then nothing good has come of this! Would you rather save face than admit-" he paused when he noticed her entrance. Sighing, he edged past her. "Forgive me." he murmured as he left. Her eyes widened. What in Mythal's Blessing was going on?

"And people say _I'm_ stubborn. This is ridiculous." Cassandra quipped. "Cullen told you that he's no longer taking lyrium?" she assumed. Ellana felt defensive of his choice.

"Yes, and I respect his decision." she declared. Cassandra looked taken aback.

"As do I. Not that he's willing to listen. Cullen has asked that I recommend a replacement for him." she revealed. Ellana gasped.

"That would destroy him! He can't mean it!" she denied. Cassandra nodded, raising a hand.

"I refused. It is not necessary. And I agree, he's come so far." she admitted.

"Why didn't he come to me?" Ellana wondered. Cassandra shrugged.

"We had an agreement long before you'd come to us. As a Seeker I could evaluate the dangers. And you know he wouldn't want to risk your disappointment." she reminded her. Ellana sighed and shook her head.

"Idiot shem. He could never disappoint me." she muttered. "Is there anything we can do to change his mind?"

"If anyone could, it's you." the Seeker assured her. Ellana nodded and left to find him. His office door was open, and she could see him staring into a small, familiar box. With a bellow, he hurled it in her direction. She had to jump to avoid being smashed in the stomach with it. His eyes widened in fear.

"Maker's Breath! I didn't hear you enter!" he panted. "I...forgive me." He looked so broken.

"Cullen, talk to me." she urged, entering the room.

"You don't have to-" he groaned as he stumbled and caught himself on his desk. She rushed forward, lending her support. He waved her off. "I never meant for this to interfere." he was pleading with her.

"Are you going to be all right?" she asked, allowing him some space.

"Yes... I don't know." there was a manic, frightened light in his eyes. "You asked what happened to Ferelden's Circle. It was taken over by abominations. The templars – my friends- were slaughtered." he turned away from her, walking over to one of the arrow slits in the wall. "I was tortured. They tried to break my mind, and I- How can you be the same person after that?" his laughter was incredulous. His tone terrified her. "Still, I wanted to serve. They sent me to Kirkwall. I trusted my Knight-Commander, and for what? Her fear of mages ended in madness. Kirkwall's Circle fell. Innocent people died in the streets. Can't you see why I want nothing to do with that life?" he growled.

"Of course I can! I-" she stepped forward.

"Don't! You should be questioning what I've done! I hated your kind! I hated mages and everything they touched! I thought that magic could only be destructive and spoil whatever it touched! If you had met me during that time I would have killed you without question!" he spat.

"Cullen, you don't believe that." she murmured. Tears began flowing down his face.

"You don't know that! You can't possibly know that! I thought this would be better! I thought that I would regain some control over my life, but these thoughts...they won't leave me, Ellana. How many lives depend on our success? I swore myself to this cause..." he was rocking his body as he paced back and forth. It was all she could do not to cry with him. "I will not give less to the Inquisition than I did to the Chantry. I should be taking it." he hurled his fist into the bookcase, knocking off a few volumes. "I should be taking it." he breathed. His entire body was shuddering. She came up behind him and put a hand on his arm.

"The Inquisition doesn't matter right now, Cullen. Is this what _you_ want, _emma lath_?" she urged. His clenched fist relaxed, and he slumped to his knees. She knelt before him, placing a gentle hand beneath his chin.

"No. But...these memories have always haunted me...if they become worse, if I cannot endure this..." he rambled. She made him look into her eyes.

"You can." she promised. With another shuddering breath, the man she loved began to weep. She moved closer and pulled his head against her chest, stroking his hair and crooning an old Dalish lullaby under her breath, changing some of the words to apply to an adult. He sobbed in her arms finally releasing the pain and fear that he had, up until now, been facing on his own.

" _Tel'enfenim, emma lath,_

 _Irrasal ma ghilas,_

 _Ma garas mir renan-_

 _Ara ma'athlan vhenas,_

 _Ara ma'athlan vhenas..."_ His trembling stopped as she finished, and his breathing steadied.

"What does it mean?" he wondered. She kissed the top of his head.

"Don't be afraid, because no matter where you are, my voice will call you home." she translated. He didn't say anything, but continued to rest his head against her chest. She began to hum again, just letting him relax with the vibration and the sound of her heartbeat. She needed him to know that he would no longer face this alone. They sat there for over an hour before he finally shifted away.

"Thank you." he breathed softly.

"Is it always that bad?" she inquired. He shrugged.

"The pain comes and goes. Sometimes...sometimes I feel as if I'm back there, in that cage. I shouldn't have been pushing myself so hard." he admitted.

"I'm just glad you're all right." she sighed. He smiled at her, the genuine smile that made her heart beat faster.

"I am. I will be. I've never told anyone what truly happened to me in the Circle. I was...not myself after that. I was angry, and for years I was blinded by that. I'm not proud of the man it made me. The way I saw mages...I'm not sure I would have cared about you...the thought of that sickens me. Telling you all this...now I feel like I can put some distance between myself and everything that happened. It's a start." he sighed. She grabbed his hand, slowing drawing circles on it with her thumb.

"For what it's worth, I like who you are now." she promised. He raised his eyebrows.

"Even after...?" he gestured to himself. She rolled her eyes.

"Cullen, I...I love you. You've done nothing to change that." she knew that she was blushing. It was the first time she had told him that she loved him in a language that he understood. His face was full of wonder.

"You love me..." he trailed off before a wide smile filled his face.

"I do. _Ar lath,_ _ma vhenan_ _._ I love you, my heart." she smiled.

" _Ar lath,_ _ma vhenan_ _."_ he said back, only slightly stumbling over the words. Her heart felt light. They both stood.

"I want to take you somewhere, before we have to go to the Wilds. Do you think we can get away?" he asked. She shrugged.

"Josephine said it would be about a week before the troops are ready to head out, so I don't see why not." she agreed.

"Good." he said, taking her hand and leading her out. She wondered where he could be taking her.


	36. Chapter 36

**A/N: This chapter gets...steamy. Thought I'd give you a heads up. Nothing too graphic, but it's there.**

* * *

"You aren't taking me out to a secluded location to dump me, are you?" Ellana asked from behind him. He choked on air, flabbergasted at the accusation.

"Maker's Breath, of course I'm not!" he screeched, turning to face her. She had a hand over her mouth, trying to stop herself from laughing. He shook his head in wonder. He loved her, but sometimes he did not understand her sense of humor. He supposed he should be glad that she was clearly over her breakup with Solas since she was making jokes about it. She was spending far too much time with Varric and Dorian, though, based on her current taste in jests. He had seen her handing Dorian a dragon's tooth a few days ago, and he hoped he wouldn't end up the butt of one of their jokes. She snuggled up into his side as they walked over to the quiet dock.

"Good." she murmured. She was smiling as she looked around the lonely lake. She had always seemed happier when she was out in nature. The stars were shimmering overhead, and the moonlight made her large eyes shine. "Where are we?" she wondered. The lake near Honnleath was not far from Skyhold.

"You walk into danger every day. I wanted to take you away from that, if only for a moment." his eyes scanned the familiar surroundings. Nothing had changed about this place since he had seen it last. That was a comfort. "I grew up not far from here. This place was always quiet." She looked touched that he had brought her here, and it only reaffirmed his decision to bring her to this place.

"Did you come here often?" she asked. As always, her eyes were wide with anticipation of receiving new knowledge, even if it was only knowledge about him. Her endless curiosity was one of his favorite things about her.

"I loved my siblings, but they were very loud. I would come here to clear my head. Of course, they always found me eventually." he explained. She smiled softly.

"You were happy here." she realized. He nodded.

"I was. I still am." he admitted. Her grin became playful.

"How will you survive without a parade of messengers and war reports?" she teased.

"I should be able to last the day. Besides, I told Leliana to send word if.." he trailed off as he noticed her stare.

"Cullen. You, me, pretty lake?" she hinted. He blushed.

"Right...of course." he apologized. He really did focus on work too much. Ellana was the only thing that really mattered, anyhow. Shyly, he pulled his gift from his pocket. "The last time I was here was the day I left for Templar training. My brother gave me this." he showed her the pressed coin. "It just happened to be in his pocket, but he said it was for luck. Templars are not supposed to carry such things. Our faith should see us through." he admitted, stroking the coin that was stamped with Andraste's face. He watched her as she stared at it, and then suddenly wondered if she would even accept such a gift. She wasn't a follower of Andraste. She was from another world. Nervously he wondered if she would take offense to it.

"A little luck can't hurt every now and then." she murmured.

"I suppose not. I should have died during the Blight. Or in Kirkwall, or Haven, take your pick. And yet, I made it back here." he took her hand and pressed the coin against her palm.

"Humor me. We don't know what you'll face before the end. This can't hurt." he whispered. She took the coin and locked eyes with him as she pulled a band from around her neck.

"I'll keep it safe, so long as you take something of mine as well." she agreed, handing him the necklace. It was a simple leather band, with a thin disc of wood in the center that was carved with a tree. It was the same tree that danced across her face.

"It's beautiful." he praised. He began to lift it over his head.

"It was Mahanon's." she admitted. He paused.

"Ellana, are you sure?" he wondered. She nodded.

"He carved it before we were together. He always told me that it brought him the luck he needed to win my heart. He wore it until he died and...and I've worn it ever since. I want you to have it." she urged. He placed it around his neck, and she stared.

"I am honored." he breathed. She stretched onto her tiptoes and pulled him down to kiss her. It was the first time they had kissed in a while, and it felt like coming home. She felt right in his arms. He realized that he didn't want to let her go. His fear for her, for what she was about to do, began to grow, and with that fear their kisses intensified. She seemed to catch his mood, and she clutched him just as firmly as he held her. He could feel her hands tugging insistently at the ties of his armor, and he pulled back. Her gaze was alert, and there was a fire in her eyes. "Are you sure?" he asked. She nodded.

"I have never been more sure of anything." she promised. He unfastened his cloak and laid it on the dock as she went around behind him to attack his armor more effectively. Soon his armor, weapon, and boots were all set aside, and she began kissing him again. He returned her affection hungrily, lowering them both to the ground. She straddled him as she removed her own shirt, and he whimpered at the sight of her body. He ran his hands over her skin, smooth except in the few places laced with scars. He saw the four scars surrounding her heart, and met her eyes. She looked nervous as he studied her body.

He softly touched the stretch marks on her abdomen, from where she had carried her lost child. He kissed them, and the scars on her chest, before kissing her lips once more. She pulled his shirt over his head and studied his body in the same manner. He had more scars than she, including many from his torment in the Ferelden Circle. She kissed those, just as he had kissed hers. Gently she reached down the front of his pants, causing him to shudder and moan as she gripped him in her hand. He honestly did not think he would last very long with her straddling him the way she was, so he wriggled out of his pants and undid the ties to hers. Her whimper was nearly enough to drive him over the edge as he touched her in the same manner. He rolled her over onto her back, and she began to moan as his fingers slid into her.

"Please, _emma lath._ I need you." she begged. He growled and gave into her request. Joining with her felt unlike anything he had ever felt before. It felt natural, and he had to try to hold himself together as she cried out ecstatically. He wanted her to finish first. It didn't take long for him to feel her walls clench around him as she did, and he followed soon after. He collapsed on top of her, taking a minute to remember that he was much larger than she was.

"Sorry." he mumbled as he rolled over to the side. She laughed, wiping her hair from her face.

"That's not generally what someone says after that activity." she joked. He laughed with her and she cuddled up against his chest. For a while they just lay there, feeling each other's warmth. He could see the cold air prickling her skin, and he wrapped his cloak around them.

"This war won't last forever, you know. When we started I hadn't given much thought to anything beyond surviving, but things are different now." he admitted.

"What do you mean?" she breathed against his chest. He ran his fingers through her silky hair.

"I find myself wondering what will happen after...when this is over, I...I won't want to move on. Not from you." he revealed. She propped her head up on his chest so that she could look him in the eye. "But I don't know what you...that is, if you..." he stammered. She chuckled.

"Cullen, do you really have to ask?" she wondered. It was then that he realized that she would throw away life and clan for him.

"I suppose not." he murmured back. " _Ar lath_ , Ellana." she smiled.

"I love you too, Cullen." she breathed. They stayed there for a time, wrapped in each other's arms. He knew it was a night he would never forget, and one that he didn't want to end.


	37. Chapter 37

They stood in the Arbor Wilds, hearts pounding from the constant barrage of attackers. She stood in water that was knee-deep, staring at the temple with awe. This was an artifact of her people. There was so much knowledge here, knowledge that had been lost for centuries. She was eager to learn the secrets it contained. She glanced back at Cullen, who watched her from the final barricade. She smiled at him, touching her heart where his pressed coin rested against her chest. He returned the gesture with a smile, but she could see the fear in his eyes. He wanted to go with her, and she wished he could be by her side, but he had to lead the army. Once again, their duties kept them apart.

"Let's go." she commanded, heading up the stone steps. Vines crawled over the outer walls, creeping into cracks where the temple had fallen into disrepair. Darkness shrouded them as they entered a long, overgrown hallway.

"That must be it up ahead." Dorian pointed out. Her friend wore half a dragon's tooth around his neck, and Bull had the matching set. He hadn't told her exactly what the meaning behind it was, but when they were in the Frostback Basin he had begged her to take one of Hakkon's teeth for him. Refocusing on the task at hand, she gasped as the actual temple came into view. It was a masterpiece of architecture, designed to honor the goddess in every detail. Her eyes filled with tears, and she was overcome with emotion. This was something that would help her people learn more about their heritage, and she was getting the chance to go within.

"Boss." Iron Bull grunted, causing her to halt. Corypheus was up ahead with his followers, stopped by a group of the strange, gilded elves that had been harassing the Inquisition forces since they had entered the forest.

"These are but remnants. They will not keep us from the Well of Sorrows." Corypheus growled to Calpernia. Ellana frowned and looked at Morrigan.

"Well of Sorrows?" she asked. Morrigan shook her head in an effort to look ignorant. Ellana glanced back at her third companion, the one that she had only brought along because of his vast knowledge. Solas was frowning. It seemed he knew exactly what the Well was. As Corypheus advanced, the temple's defenses activated, and there was a flash of white light as the magic obliterated him where he stood. Ellana gaped down at the carnage.

"That can't possibly..." Dorian breathed. She noticed that Calpernia and the rest of the monster's men were crossing the bridge into the temple. Something was wrong. Hesitantly they walked down to where Corypheus' ashes stood.

"This is too easy, Boss." Bull muttered. Stepping over the body of one of Corypheus' Warden pets, she studied the ashes. There was a...shift...in the atmosphere, and she jumped when she heard a pained cry behind her. The dead Warden was on his knees, convulsing in pain. Her eyes widened, and she leaped back as a black substance fountained from the corpse. The body distorted, and began to change.

"It cannot be!" Morrigan cried as the Warden's features began to shift into that of Corypheus.

"Across the bridge! Now!" she barked, sprinting but unable to take her eyes off of the changing creature. They heard a terrible screech and the beating of wings as their feet pounded against the crumbling stone of the ancient bridge. The dragon had arrived. "CLOSE THE DOORS!" she cried as she dove through the narrow opening. She could feel the heat of the dragon's fire behind her as the doors slammed shut just in time, everyone securely inside. She took a deep breath, trying to determine what she had just seen. The door began to glow as the temple sealed itself, and she sighed. The only way to go was forward. Wordlessly, she led the way in.

"At last, Mythal's sanctum. Let us proceed before Corypheus interferes." Morrigan said after a time. She glowered at her.

"If he's here for a mirror, why did Corypheus say he wants a 'Well of Sorrows?'" Bull grunted, echoing her own thoughts.

"I...am uncertain of what he referred to." Morrigan lied. Ellana knew that she wasn't telling the truth.

"Could they be the same? Could 'Eluvian' translate into 'Well of Sorrows?'" she drawled sarcastically, perfectly aware that there was no possible connection between the two things. Dorian snorted in amusement at her blatant derision. Morrigan did not seem to get the hint.

"...no...It seems an Eluvian is not the prize Corypheus seeks." she admitted. Ellana just stared at her without blinking. "Yes! I was wrong! Does that please you? Whatever the Well of Sorrows might be, Corypheus seeks it, and thus you must keep it from his grasp." she snapped. She sighed. It seemed she would get no further information from the woman.

"Let's find this well before his people do." she muttered. Shoving past Morrigan, she wandered into a massive courtyard full of statues and fountains that no longer worked.

"So is nobody going to mention the fact that we just watched Corypheus _die_ and then come back to life?" Dorian barked. She winced. She had not wanted to remember it.

"And his life force passes into any Blighted creature, darkspawn, or Grey Warden. 'Tis strange. Archdemons possess the same ability, and still the Grey Wardens are able to slay them. Yet Corypheus they locked away. Perhaps they knew he could do this, but not how." the witch mused. Ellana tried not to listen. Instead she focused on the statues around her. So awed was she that she did not notice a change in the ground before her, and she placed her foot on a large, odd tile. She gasped as it began to glow blue. "It seems the Temple's magics are still strong." Morrigan noted. Ellana leaned forward to read the inscription on the statue.

" _Atish'all vir abelasan._ " she read.

"Enter the path of the Well of Sorrows." Solas translated. Ellana nodded. When they were together, Solas had taught her much of the Elven language, including words that had been lost to her people for centuries. She was practically fluent now, something that the Dalish had never been able to achieve.

"There is something about knowledge...respectful or pure... _shiven, shivennen_... 'Tis all I can translate. That it mentions the Well is a good omen." Morrigan commented. Ellana nodded. Most of the words had been washed away by the elements, so she could see nothing more either.

"At least we know the Well was important." she decided, looking down at the glowing tile beneath her feet.

"Supplicants to Mythal would have first paid obeisance here." Morrigan pointed out.

"Following their path may aid entry." She realized. She studied the tiles around her to determine which held the same pattern before gently stepping on the next. When it began to glow as well, she knew she was on the correct path. She continued to follow the path, lighting up each subsequent tile before stepping on the final piece, causing them to all glow a blinding blue, causing the door to the next section of the temple to glow as well.

"Well done. Let us see what awaits!" Morrigan cheered. Ellana continued to explore the courtyard, marveling at the carvings that filled it. "The Temple of Mythal, from an age when elves, not men, ruled this place. They believed Mythal a goddess of justice. Elves came here to request judgment, after they proved their worth." the witch thought aloud. Ellana glanced at Solas and they both rolled their eyes. She bit her tongue to hold back an acidic comment. Many shems thought they knew more about elven culture than the elves did themselves. At least she seemed to just be musing. There was no condescension in her tone, for once.

"Silence has reigned here for time beyond memory." Solas commented, sounding sad. He looked as if he was walking through a place in which he once lived, one that had fallen into disrepair. She paused before a great statue of a wolf, of Fen'Harel.

"Why would _this_ be here?" Morrigan wondered. "It depicts the Dread Wolf, Fen'Harel. In Elven tales, he tricks their gods into sealing themselves away in the Beyond for all time. Setting Fen'Harel in Mythal's greatest sanctum is as blasphemous as painting Andraste naked in the Chantry." she explained. Ellana shook her head.

"There is much that _my_ people do not understand. We do not have all the facts of our history." she argued, trying to remind her that she was, in fact, an elf.

"For all your...'knowledge'...Lady Morrigan, you cannot resist giving legend the weight of history. The wise do not mistake one for the other." Solas murmured. Ellana studied him. He knew so much, and she would never understand how he found out. She had a sense that it was not something she would want to know. She had forgiven him for what he had done to her. Him leaving her led her to Cullen, and in a way she was grateful for it. She was grateful for all the knowledge he had passed on to her.

"Pray tell, what meaning does our Elven 'expert' sense lurking behind this?" Morrigan taunted. Solas looked personally offended. She had never seen him so angry. The two were nose to nose.

"None we can discern by staring at it!" he shouted. She grinned.

"You two look like you're about to kiss when you argue." she teased. They pulled apart, and she was shocked that steam wasn't blowing out of their ears.

"'Tis time we pressed forward." Morrigan grumbled.

"Agreed." Solas snapped back. Approaching the main doors, Ellana gave them a gentle shove. To her surprise, they slid open easily. Ahead she could see the heart of the temple, but before the great doors, Calpernia and her followers stood. There was a massive crater before them, and she bared her teeth in a growl. They had desecrated this sacred place!

"Hold them off!" Calpernia yelled before jumping down into the hole she had made. A few of the Venatori stayed behind to fight her, and Ellana let her fury carry her through the fight. The enemy mages did not stand a chance. She reached the crater and roared down into it, enraged at their disrespect.

"Hold, a moment! While they rush ahead, this leads to our true destination." Morrigan urged, gesturing at the great door. "We should follow the petitioner's path, as before. You see the urgency! We cannot find the Well of Sorrows unprepared." Perhaps it was because she was already angry at Calpernia's blatant disregard for her culture, but Ellana snapped.

"What do I look like to you, Morrigan? Do I not have pointed ears? Do I not wear the _Vallaslin_ across my face?" She saw Solas wince in her periphery. "You have been yammering on about Elven culture, _my_ culture, the entire time we have been here as if I am ignorant of this place and its stories. I am disgusted that you think I would dishonor _my_ people in the way that Calpernia did." Morrigan shrank before her.

"I...I didn't think-" she stammered.

"That's right. You didn't. We will make the pilgrimage as is appropriate. We have wasted time." she finished, storming off to do as she said. No one spoke a word as she flitted across the tiles, quickly figuring out the proper order and causing them all to glow. After finishing the three paths, she could hear the doors opening in the distance. It seemed they had gained entry to whatever lay within.


	38. Chapter 38

She gaped at the inside of the temple. Massive mosaics depicting the gods adorned the walls, shining in the firelight. Falon'Din, Andruil, they were all there. She had heard Solas' darker stories about Falon'Din, about his penchant for starting wars to amass more followers. He let people die, caused people to die, in order to become more powerful. It was nothing like the idealistic stories the Dalish told. She supposed that not all legends could be true.

"'Tis not at all what I expected. What was this chamber used for?" Morrigan wondered. Ellana sensed a presence nearby, one whose intentions she could not determine.

"We're being watched." she warned as they reached the center of the massive chamber.

" _Venavis._ " a voice called. She halted, looking up to the source of the command. The others followed her lead, whether they understood the language or not. A hooded elf stood atop a massive platform, glaring down at them. Across his cheeks danced the same markings that she saw in her own reflection each day. Did this mean he had been one of Mythal's slaves? She bowed her head reverently. Whatever he was, he was clearly ancient, and deserved her respect. "You...are unlike the other invaders." he said in the common tongue. She wondered how he had learned it, or if it had always been around. "You have the features of those who call themselves 'Elvhen.' You bear the mark of magic which is...familiar. How has this come to pass? What is your connection to those who first disturbed our slumber?" She raised her head to look him in the eyes.

"They are my enemies, as well as yours." he studied her for a time.

"I am called Abelas. We are sentinels, tasked with standing against those who trespass on sacred ground. We wake only to fight, to preserve this place. Our numbers diminish with each invasion. I know what you seek: Like all who have come before you, you wish to drink from the _Vir'Abelasan_." he accused.

"The 'place of the way of sorrows!' He speaks of the Well." Morrigan whispered excitedly. Scowling, Ellana waved her off. She was worried about what the woman might do because she seemed so eager.

"It is not for you. It is not for _any_ of you." he warned. Ellana bowed her head once more. She did not want to offend him.

"We did not come here to fight you, nor to steal from your Temple." she promised. Abelas looked at her with a strange expression before nodding.

"I believe you. Trespassers you are, but you have followed rites of petition. You have shown respect to Mythal. If these others are enemies of yours, we will aid you in destroying them. When this is done, you shall be permitted to depart, and never return." he decided. Her heart sank at the realization that she would never truly discover all the knowledge within this place, but she accepted his terms.

"I'll admit, the idea of fighting the last of their kind...does not thrill me." Dorian commented.

"Consider carefully. You must stop Corypheus, yes, but you may also need the Well for your own." Morrigan muttered urgently. She seemed frantic. Ellana did not like it.

"So, you're elves from ancient times? Before the Tevinter Imperium destroyed Arlathan?" Dorian called, clearly too curious to care about tact. Abelas frowned.

"The shemlen did not destroy Arlathan. We Elvhen warred upon ourselves. By the time the doors to this sanctuary closed, our time was over." he corrected. Ellana's eyes widened as she turned back to her friend.

"Wait...that's not right. What are you saying?" Dorian denied, shocked.

"You do not know truth. Shemlen history is as short as the pool of your years." Abelas answered, shaking his head ruefully.

"What did the Imperium do then? Are you saying it wasn't a war?" Dorian argued. Abelas shrugged.

"The war of carrion feasting upon a corpse, yes. We awaken only when called, and each time find the world more foreign than before. It is meaningless. We endure. The _Vir'Abelasan_ must be preserved." Her friend stared wide-eyed at the ground. It seemed that, like her, everything he knew was turning out to be a lie.

"I accept your offer." she called, her decision final.

"You will be guided to those you seek. As for the _Vir'Abelasan_ , it shall not be despoiled, even if I have to destroy it myself." he said, turning and leaving them alone.

"No!" the witch cried, turning into a raven and flying after him.

"Morrigan!" Ellana shouted, trying to grasp her leg, but the bird moved too quickly. She turned to her companions and followed after an ancient elf that waved them over. She did not say a word, but gestured for them to follow her through the temple. They did, and Ellana scanned the temple, trying to commit every detail to memory. It was miraculous. The sounds of battle echoed around the massive halls, but their guide did not lead them in that direction. Instead she cut through secret doors and back rooms, avoiding the fighting at all cost. Finally, they reached a set of doors and the guide pointed for them to go through. _"Ma serannas."_ Ellana thanked. The ancient guide nodded her head in acceptance of her gratitude. She could see Calpernia below, staring up at the endless staircase that led to the Well.

"So close. The Well knows its vessel...and those who would despoil it. Stand aside, Inquisitor." the Venatori leader sighed, turning to face them. Ellana stepped forward. "The trials you have set me, I have overcome. As a courtesy, leave now, or not at all." She hadn't expected the woman to be so polite. It was odd.

"No, Calpernia. We have things to discuss." she declined, equally polite.

"True. I did not think you so civilized." Odd that their thoughts were so similar. "You serve your people. You have one last chance to save them. The Well of Sorrows overflows with knowledge, power abandoned by those the elves worshipped as gods. To walk the Fade without the Anchor, _that_ is what the Well of Sorrows will give Corypheus." she sounded so proud, so sure of her path. Ellana pitied her. She had been lied to and used, and she didn't even know it.

"If that's the case, why isn't Corypheus clawing at the Well for himself?" she prodded.

"I will carry it, like a jug, brimming, for his use. Can you not see? I knew you would take the Well for yourself, to ransack its wisdom to try to defeat Corypheus. But you'd still be just a child, playing with a sword. Corypheus will wield it as a master." she declared. Ellana sighed.

"Calpernia, once you've drunk from the Well, Corypheus will use a ritual on you. You'll be a mindless tool, enslaved to his will." She revealed. A flash of recognition entered the woman's eyes, and she unconsciously stepped forward.

"That...where I come from, idle tales must be proven." it was clear that she had already been doubting her master. Ellana slowly pulled a scroll from her hip and tossed it over to her.

"Here, the page with his binding ritual. He tried it on your master, Erasthenes." she confessed. Calpernia read intently, her eyes widening in horror.

"How could you know...and these runes? No one has written in these since..." she breathed. Anguish crossed her face. "He made so many promises! And every one, a lie! _Venhedis kaffan vas!_ " the scroll erupted in flame as her anger took over. "He was to give Tevinter a true leader! If Corypheus would misuse me, he would misuse them too! I was blind!" she wailed. Ellana glanced back at Dorian. These two people had the same goals, but they came from such different backgrounds, and it had lead them to completely different places.

"That's why you joined Corypheus? To see Tevinter rebuilt?" she wondered.

"To see her _reborn_. Slaves allowed their true potential. Corruption excised. Tevinter was the cradle of civilization, imagine what her future could be! A crafter of wonders, standing against the savage Qunari. A beacon for all." she wept. Ellana stared at the ground as she made her choice.

"Perhaps Tevinter does need a strong leader. Be that woman, while you still can." she urged.

"You mock me, Inquisitor. As if you'd let me walk away!" Calpernia hesitated.

"It's a good idea! Maker knows we could use a reformer or ten back home." Dorian quipped. The former leader of the Venatori turned to leave, but paused.

"If Corypheus triumphs...listen, if any power can challenge him, it lies in the Well. Perhaps its price is too high, but if you can take it, humble him. _Vitae benefaria_ , Inquisitor. Do not follow us." she requested. "I will give you some time. I go to confront my master. Then I will return to Tevinter, if there is anything left of me." she murmured before heading off to what Ellana knew was her death. She sighed. It wasn't possible to save everyone, but at least she had convinced her to see the truth.

The heavy flapping of wings and the pounding of bare feet on stone startled her out of her reverie. A raven burst from the bushes, Abelas sprinting right behind it.

"Abelas!" Ellana cried, running after him as he began to ascend a massive staircase that was summoned by his magic. The heavy footfalls of her companions told her that she had been followed, and she was nearly out of breath by the time they reached the top. In a swirl of smoke, the raven vanished and Morrigan stood in its place.

"You heard his parting words, Inquisitor. The elf seeks to destroy the Well of Sorrows!" she argued. Abelas turned to her, eyes tracing the _vallaslin_ on her face, so reminiscent of his own.

"So the sanctum is despoiled at last." he uttered.

"You would have destroyed the well yourself, given the chance." Morrigan snarled. Abelas scoffed.

"To keep it from _your_ grasping fingers! Better it be lost than bestowed upon the undeserving." he retorted.

"Fool! You'd let your people's legacy rot in the shadows!" the witch huffed.

"Enough." Ellana barked.

"You cannot honestly-" Morrigan bellowed.

"I _said_ enough." she hissed. Morrigan was quivering with rage, but she visibly calmed herself.

"The Well clearly offers power, Inquisitor. If that power can be used against Corypheus, can you truly afford not to use it?" she mumbled irritably. Abelas turned to stare at the Well, sorrow in his eyes.

"Do you even know what you ask?" he breathed. Everything he believed in was held in that pool. His entire life had been dedicated to protecting its contents, and now these people, these intruders, were asking to take the knowledge within. She wondered if she would have reacted any differently. "As each servant of Mythal reached the end of their years, they would pass their knowledge on...through this. All that we were, all that we knew...it would be lost forever." his voice broke at the end. The man was defeated.

"This can't be easy, holding on to what's left." she offered. Her own culture had taught her how difficult it really was to keep a grasp on the history of your people. He shook his head.

"You cannot imagine. Each time we awaken, it slips further from our grasp." he frowned.

"There are other places, friend. Other duties. Your people yet linger." Solas intoned. Abelas scowled.

"Elvhen such as you?" he insulted. Solas sniffed.

"Yes, such as I." he assured him. Abelas turned back to the pool, contemplating his options once more. Turning away, he approached Ellana directly. She had to turn her head up to look at him as he stepped closer.

"You have shown respect to Mythal, and there is a righteousness in you I cannot deny. Is that your desire? To partake of the _Vir'Abelasan_ as best you can, to fight your enemy?" he asked her. She broke eye contact and stared at the intricacies of his armor.

"Not without your permission." she promised, looking into his eyes again. He smiled slightly.

"One does not obtain permission. One obtains the right." he turned and walked to the edge of the platform. "The _Vir'Abelasan_ may be too much for a mortal to comprehend. Brave it if you must, but know you this: You shall be bound forever to the will of Mythal." he warned. Ellana turned to stare at the Well, fear and excitement rising in her chest.

"Bound? To a goddess that no longer exists, if she ever did?" Morrigan snorted. Ellana glowered at her. Once again, the barbaric witch was spitting on her culture.

"Bound, as we are bound. The choice is yours." he growled.

"Is it possible that Mythal still exists in this world?" Ellana inquired, her curiosity overtaking her anger.

"Anything is possible." he answered cryptically.

"Elven legend states that Mythal was tricked by Fen'Harel and banished to the Beyond." Morrigan quoted, stoking the fire of Ellana's rage. She opened her mouth to say something, but Abelas spoke first.

"'Elven' legend is wrong. The Dread Wolf had nothing to do with her murder." he yelled furiously. Ellana gaped at him. Her murder? Mythal had been killed?

"Murder? I said nothing of-" Morrigan stammered.

"She was slain, if a god truly can be. Betrayed by those who destroyed this temple. Yet, the _Vir'Abelasan_ remains, as do we. That is something." he recalled.

"Will you leave the temple?" Ellana breathed, unable to form any other coherent thoughts.

"Our duty ends. Why remain?" the ancient one drawled.

"There is a place for you, _lethallin_ , if you seek it." Solas spoke to the man as an equal. He was not awed by him as she was. It was intriguing.

"Perhaps there are places the shemlen have not touched. It may be that only _Uthenera_ awaits us. The blissful sleep of eternity, never to awaken. If fate is kind." he thought wistfully.

"You could come with us, fight Corypheus. He killed your people." she suggested.

"We killed ourselves, long ago." he corrected sadly.

" _Malas amelin ne halam,_ Abelas." Solas wished. The one who was called "Sorrow" nodded and left them alone. Everyone but Ellana was looking at Solas curiously. "His name. Abelas means sorrow. I said I hoped he finds a new name." she nodded absentmindedly. She had understood every word. Ellana glanced back to see Morrigan staring at a massive mirror across the water.

"You'll note the intact Eluvian? I was correct on that count, at least." she justified. The Dalish focused on the mirror, another lost artifact of her people that she would not have known about had it not been for the witch. That fact gave her a bitter taste in her mouth. She did not like being indebted to the woman in any way.

"Is it still a threat? Can Corypheus use it to travel to the Beyond?" she inquired.

"You recall when I took you through my Eluvian, I said each required a key? The Well is the key. Take its power, and Mythal's last Eluvian will be of no more use to Corypheus than glass." the woman leaned forward as if bewitched. "I did not expect it to feel so...hungry." Ellana understood the feeling. She could hear the distant voices of the elven people calling to her from within. It tugged at her soul, and she had to fight to avoid diving in.

"Don't go any closer." she ordered, trying to keep herself from the strange power. Morrigan did not move.

"I am willing to pay the price the Well demands. I am also the best suited to use its knowledge in your service." Morrigan pleaded.

"Or more likely, to your own ends." Solas scoffed. Morrigan whirled on him.

"What would you know of my 'ends,' elf?" she snapped.

"You are a glutton drooling at the sight of a feast! You cannot be trusted!" he barked back. The witch was snarling, but she turned away from him.

"Of those present, I alone have the training to make use of this. Let me drink, Inquisitor." she begged. Ellana rolled her eyes.

"'You alone?' This is _my_ heritage." she reminded her.

"I have studied the oldest lore. I have delved into mysteries of which you could only dream! Can you honestly tell me there is anyone better suited?" her tone was condescending and irritating. Ellana turned to the one who truly had the most knowledge.

"What about you, Solas?" she asked. His face turned white as he vigorously shook his head.

"No. Do not ask me again." it was another curiosity she would never get an answer for. She turned back to Morrigan, eyebrow arched.

"I could be." she suggested. The power tugging at her swelled at her words. It was encouraging her to follow that path. She wanted it. She wanted the knowledge of the Well. The woman shook her raven-haired head at her.

"You are the leader of the Inquisition. You cannot take such a risk." she contested. Ellana frowned. She had a point.

"You're not concerned about the price? 'Bound forever to the will of Mythal?'" she asked. For her own part, she had already dedicated herself to Mythal. Being bound to the goddess whose markings were embedded in her skin would not be a problem for her.

"Bound to the will of a dead god? It seems an empty warning." Morrigan shrugged. "Perhaps a compulsion yet remains. Who can say otherwise? I do not fear it, even so." The Well filled her with a sense of jealousy. Every reason the witch had provided was a good one.

"What's to stop you from taking the knowledge and leaving?" her paranoia was rising.

"My word. If that seems insufficient, Corypheus threatens all, even myself. He must be stopped." she groaned.

"And who stops you?" Ellana snapped.

"I, Inquisitor, seek neither immortality, nor your life." she drawled. She stared into the water, feeling more drawn to it than ever. The voices were roaring in her ears, she could feel the hands of thousands of ancient elves on her shoulders. They wanted her to drink from it. They wanted her to wade into the depths and gain their knowledge.

 _"Lethallan._ " Solas murmured. She leaned away from the Well, but did not look at him. " _Lethallan. Mana. Tel garas solasan._ " she turned to see sorrow and fear filling his face, and it was as if his words and gaze were blocking out the touch of the Well. "You trusted me once, a trust I betrayed. I beg you, do not partake of the Well. Consider it a final favor to me." She shuddered, terrified at her lack of control.

" _Ir tel'him._ " she promised. "Looking at it, listening to it...that's not just knowledge from the ancient elven priests. It's their will." Morrigan wrinkled her nose at the revelation.

"How would you know such a thing?" she wondered.

"That's what Abelas was telling us." Ellana growled. "The collective will of the priests puts anyone who drinks under a compulsion, a geas. Can't you feel it?" Morrigan glanced nervously at the Well.

"That _would_ match the legends, but it does not tell us what the geas entails. I would still use the Well, but you are right. We should be cautious." the woman's golden eyes narrowed as she studied Ellana. "Have you made your decision?" she asked. Glancing at Solas, Ellana nodded.

"It's yours." she granted. Morrigan did not hesitate to step into the water. The moment the surface was disturbed, blue light filled the pavilion. Morrigan was lifted into the air in a cyclone as the water surrounded her. Ellana raised an arm to block the light of the Well as water splashed her face and hair. Gently, Morrigan was lowered to the ground as the light faded. Ellana ran to her side. "Morrigan! Are you all right?" she asked. The witch lurched forward.

" _Ellasin selah! Vissan...Vissanalla..._ I...I am intact." she said, standing and holding her head in her hands. "There is much to sift through, but now we can..." she trailed off, her hand raising to the entrance of the temple. Corypheus was stomping through, and when he saw them his features contorted in rage. Ellana heard him bellow as he used his magic to propel himself forward. "The Eluvian!" Morrigan shouted as it began to glow.

"Through the mirror!" she commanded as she ushered everyone through. Her heart raced as the water left over from the Well conformed into a figure that glowed the same blue as the Eluvian. It turned and looked at her as Corypheus approached, and she felt an unexpected warmth. She felt like she wasn't alone. She leapt through, closing her eyes against the blinding light that surrounded her.


	39. Chapter 39

Stumbling through the Eluvian, Ellana looked around the small room at her companions. Each one of them looked completely shocked at what they had just experienced. She couldn't blame them. She was trying to make sense of the strange figure that had touched her soul so deeply. Had it been Mythal? A spirit? A memory? She supposed she would never know. She wondered if time had flowed differently while they were within the Eluvian. Morrigan had said that it was possible. In the tiny room that contained the Eluvian, it was impossible to tell how long they had been gone. Hesitantly, Morrigan pushed the door open, and was immediately ambushed by a small child.

The dark-haired boy looked to be about ten years old, and his thin arms held the witch in a vice. He was pale, like Morrigan, but his eyes were a light, warm shade of brown, rather than her burnished gold. However, it was easy to see her in his features. He had a light of mischievousness in his eyes that had never been associated with the woman, however.

"Mother!" he exclaimed. Ellana's eyes widened. Morrigan had a child?

"Mother?" she asked. The boy looked at her, and she was startled at the wisdom in his eyes. He looked as if he had seen a thousand lifetimes.

"You're the Inquisitor." he greeted. "Mother never told me the Inquisitor was an elf." he was blunt, as all children were. It was endearing.

"The ears gave me away, didn't they?" she joked. She was still shaken from what had happened in the Temple, but she had always had a soft spot for children. It had been difficult to interact with them since she had lost her daughter, but she still adored them.

"No, your blood is very old. I saw it right away." he replied simply. She was shocked. He was an odd boy, to be certain.

"Kieran, there is no need to bother the Inquisitor." Morrigan murmured fondly. She had become an entirely different woman when the boy had entered the room. "I am safe now, as are you. Run along and study." she requested. He sighed, but listened.

"Will his father be joining us?" Ellana could think of nothing else to say. Morrigan's gaze became distant.

"'Twould be most unlikely. His father helped raise Kieran for a time, but events conspired to take him...elsewhere." she seemed sad, but resolve replaced her expression.

"He seems like a fine young man." she commented. Morrigan grinned.

"But not the sort one might expect a woman like me to raise? No son of _mine_ would be raised in a marsh, bereft of contact with the outside world. His future will be difficult enough without my having to add to his burden." the witch muttered. Ellana wondered what that was all about, but she didn't press. She needed to find out how much time had passed. Exiting the room, she was unnerved by the silence in the gardens. They were generally bustling with activity. Spurred by her anxiety, she sprinted through the quiet, hurriedly wrenching open the door to get inside. She heard the sounds of people and felt a little better, but there was no one in the main hall. That wasn't a good sign. She continued on, flying past Josephine's office and down the hall before throwing open the war room door.

* * *

He leaned over the war table, trying to distract himself from the fact that she hadn't come out. She still wasn't back. They had decided as a group that they would not pursue her into the Temple for any reason, due to the mysterious nature of the place and of the Eluvian, but keeping that promise had been nearly impossible. Cullen and Leliana had stayed in the Arbor Wilds for three days after she had entered before returning to Skyhold. Corypheus' army had begun retreating after the first day, but many of the Inquisition forces and their allies were being slow to leave, in order to make sure the area was secure. Leliana had said they didn't need to be there for that, but he had wanted to stay behind in case...

"She'll come back, Cullen." the bard commented, reading his mind. He squeezed his eyes shut, wishing against all hope that she was right. He turned to respond to her when the door flew open, and there she was. Her silky black hair was in wild disarray, and her grey-green eyes were wide as she processed what she was looking at. Relief filled him and flooded her face as their eyes met. Wordlessly, she charged forward, landing a foot on the war table and launching herself at him like a catapult. He grunted as she collided with his chest, wrapping her legs around him and embracing him as tightly as she could. He held her just as fiercely, burying his face in her hair and spinning around from the momentum of her crash. He was grateful he wasn't wearing his armor, for once, or she surely would have been injured upon impact.

" _Emma lath."_ she murmured against his chest.

" _Ma vhenan_." he whispered back. Glancing up for the first time, he saw the companions that had gone with her, Solas included, standing in the doorway. The elf did not realize that he had seen him, and he wore a look of such open anguish on his face that it took Cullen by surprise. He really did love her. The look was quickly replaced by the stoic mask, but Cullen knew what he had seen. He would never understand why Solas had given her up, but if he hadn't, he would never have earned her love himself. Slowly she untangled herself from him, lowering her feet to the ground without a sound.

"How long?" she asked. He shrugged.

"We left the Wilds three days after you entered. With just Leliana and I, it only took about a day to return to Skyhold." he promised. She seemed relieved that more time hadn't passed. Josephine cleared her throat, and he realized that neither of them had been paying attention to anyone else. He blushed slightly, and was glad to see that Ellana's cheeks were red as well. Stepping away from each other, Cullen cleared his throat. "I'm pleased to report we won the battle, Inquisitor. I'm assuming it was when you went through that mirror, but not long after you had entered the temple, Corypheus and his archdemon fled the field. I'm not sure why." he admitted.

"What he wanted was no longer within the temple." Morrigan remarked cryptically. He did not trust her, but there wasn't much he could do.

"Perhaps. He spent so long trying to get into the temple he probably couldn't have helped his forces by that point." he agreed.

"Then...Corypheus is finished?" Josephine's voice was laced with hope. He felt a spark of hope himself, though he kept it hidden. He had been through far too much to expect this to be that simple.

"If he is wise, he will hide, and rebuild his strength before he attacks again." Leliana's tone held a threat. She was tired of Corypheus.

"He will not hide." The witch growled. Ellana turned and walked over to her, the soft soles of her boots barely whispering against the stone.

"The Well speaks to you?" she inquired, her lilting voice soft and full of wonder. Morrigan nodded.

"The Well of Sorrows held many voices, and they speak to me now from across the ages. They hold wisdom. Secrets I never dreamed possible. But even they fear what Corypheus has become." the woman admitted. What was this Well?

"Should we fear him more than his army?" his love inquired.

"Possibly. Luckily for you, he has a weakness. The dragon he calls is not truly an archdemon. It is a dragon, in which Corypheus has invested part of his being. He doubtless did this out of pride, to emulate the gods of old. That pride can be exploited. Kill the dragon, and his ability to leap into other bodies is disrupted. He can be slain!" the dark haired woman's golden eyes were wide with excitement. He was gaping at her, and he couldn't see Ellana's face, but her body language seemed unhappy.

"Oh, of course. I should have thought of _just_ killing his dragon." the snark in her tone overpowered any other emotion she might have felt. Morrigan either didn't notice the sarcasm or didn't care.

"There _is_ a way to defeat the dragon, to match Corypheus in his power. The Well whispers it to me now. Your help will be required, Inquisitor. Speak to me when you are ready, and we shall begin." she answered before striding from the room without another word. Cullen watched Ellana as she turned to her companions, her followers, her friends.

"Get some rest, everyone. We aren't finished yet." she ordered. They nodded and left, and she turned to him and the other two advisors. "That goes for you as well." she said. "You two should do something for yourselves for once, while you have the chance." Josephine was muttering to herself.

"It might be nice to have a long bath for once." she agreed as she left. Leliana smiled, and it was actually genuine! He hadn't ever seen that expression on her face before.

"Thank you, Inquisitor." she crooned before sauntering out. Cullen arched an eyebrow at Ellana.

"What was that about?" he asked. She smiled and strolled over to him, placing herself between him and the war table.

"She's in love." she shrugged. Cullen snorted.

"Leliana? With who?" he exclaimed. She chuckled.

"With Wilbur." she answered. Her hand was tugging at the bottom of his shirt, but he was too startled to notice.

"Who's Wilbur?" he wondered. He jumped slightly when her hand ran over the skin of his stomach.

"Is that really what you want to talk about?" she asked. Her voice was low and sultry, and he realized what she was hinting at. Grinning, he swiped the pieces off the war table. He could ask her about Leliana's love life later. He had his own to attend to first.


	40. Chapter 40

"You're so filthy." Dorian commented. Ellana looked up from her desk. She hadn't heard him enter.

"Excuse me?" she asked.

"I know what you did." he sang.

"What did I do?" she wondered.

"The Commander!" Bull bellowed as he stormed in behind Dorian.

"And on the War Table no less!" the Tevinter crowed. She blushed, but wouldn't let them win.

"As if you two haven't slept together on the War Table before." she joked. Bull started giggling and she wished she hadn't brought it up. Dorian tapped a finger against his chin.

"Fair point." he acknowledged. "But we're not here to discuss our heated sexual congress, we're here to fetch you." She arched an eyebrow.

"Fetch me? What for?" she was suspicious.

"We decided that we might all die tomorrow, so we're going to take some time to play." the Tevinter crooned. She frowned, but allowed them to drag her from her rooms. They pulled her through Skyhold and into The Herald's Rest. She smiled nervously at the unusual gathering of her companions and sat down next to Cullen.

"Do you know what is happening here?" she hissed out of the side of her mouth.

"No idea." he murmured back. "They accosted me and said they knew of our...canoodling...in the war room." She snorted.

"They said the same to me. But all the others are here, they can't be discussing that, right?" she paused as she realized that her friends would absolutely do something like that. "By the Dread Wolf, do you think that's why we're here? I don't want to discuss it with them!" her cheeks were flaming. Cullen chuckled and put an arm around her shoulders.

"I doubt it. And if that _is_ why we're here, I'll be sure to give them every sordid detail." he teased. She gaped at him. He was usually the shy one.

"I-" she was interrupted by the door being forcefully kicked in by Varric, who strode inside shuffling a deck of cards, Josephine hot on his tail.

"All right, Ruffles, deal everybody in." he said, handing the cards off to the ambassador.

"I do hope I remember the rules! It's been ages since I've played a game of Wicked Grace." she twittered excitedly. Ellana glanced at Cullen. She had never played this game before.

"Are three drakes better than a pair of swords? I can never remember." Cassandra grunted. Ellana stared at the cards in her hand. She had no idea what she was doing.

"Seeker, remember how I said 'Don't show anyone your hand?' That rule includes announcing it to the table." Varric snorted. He seemed like he was a bit tipsy, and she realized that everyone seemed like they had a buzz.

"There's a crown on his head, but a sword, too! His head didn't want either." Cole announced sadly. Ellana hid a smile as Varric shook his head.

"Don't talk to the face cards, kid." he chuckled.

"You seem to have enough people. I have a thousand things to do." Cullen said as he tried to stand. Dorian pulled him back down.

"Losing money can be both relaxing and habit forming. Give it a try!" he urged.

"Curly, if any man in history ever needed a hobby, it's you." Varric agreed. Josephine was muttering to herself.

"Dealer starts...Oh...I believe I'll start at...oh! Three coppers! Do you think that's too daring? Maybe I'll make it one...no, boldness! Three it is!" her cheeks were flushed from the wine she was drinking, and there was a mischievous light in her eyes that Ellana was unused to seeing.

"Sounds good. I'm in." Blackwall grunted.

"The bolder the better, right?" Dorian asked, tossing his own coppers into the mix. Since she had no idea what she was doing, she tossed in a few coppers when it was her turn and studied her cards. The others all knew how to play, so she watched to see what they were doing. Mostly she just copied what everyone else did. As the drinks began flowing, stories started coming out.

"...the poor recruit ran out into the dining hall in nothing but his knickers. And this...profound silence fell over the hall as seventy mages and thirty templars all turned to stare at once. Then, a slow round of applause began, and spread, until every soul was on their feet. A standing ovation!" Cullen snorted.

"What did he do?" Josephine giggled delightedly.

"Saluted, turned on his heel, and marched out like he was in full armor!" he finished. Blackwall and Iron Bull guffawed.

"He did not!" Cassandra laughed.

"Good man!" Dorian cheered.

"That's how you know it's true. I could never put that in a book! Too unlikely!" Varric chuckled. Ellana laughed, feeling tipsy herself.

"I've got one for you!" she crowed. "The clan decided to camp near this ruined fortress, right on the edge of the Tirashan, dark as the bottom of a well. The Keeper swore up and down it was safe, but some of the hunters started hearing noises in the middle of the night..."

* * *

Cullen watched her with a grin. It was good to see the way her face lit up when she told old stories. It probably reminded her of her own people, where stories were a major part of life.

"They ran out of there, fast as you think, bare asses shining in the moonlight the whole way back to their village." she finished, sloppy grin betraying her drunkenness.

"Not bad! You don't mind if I steal that one, do you?" Varric chortled.

"Well done." Dorian commented.

"You ought to tell stories more often!" Blackwall bellowed. He had been drinking so much that he swayed in his seat.

"I like the part with the rabbit. There should be more rabbits in stories." Cole squealed. He studied the boy, realizing that he was no longer wary of him as he had been before. Ellana saw him as almost a surrogate child, and he was starting to have the same feelings. It was odd how much people could change.

"That was scandalous! It would _ruin_ the Inquisition if it got out!" Josephine cried. She looked around, a wicked grin crossing her features. "Tell it again." Ellana giggled. "And the dealer takes everything! I win again!" Josephine announced. Cullen shook his head, determined to beat her.

"Deal again! I've figured out your tells, Lady Ambassador!" he challenged. Josephine pretended to be shocked.

"Commander! Everyone knows a lady has no tells!" she scoffed.

"Then let's see if your good fortune lasts one more hand!" he argued. Ellana snickered.

"I'm not losing any more coin to Josephine, but I have got to see this." she slurred. Cullen took his cards, determined to be the victor.

* * *

Ellana could not stop cackling. Cullen sat beside her wearing nothing but a frown, and everyone was making a point to stare at him.

"Don't say a word, dwarf!" he growled, pointing at Varric, who was barely holding back his laughter.

"I tried to warn you, Curly." he snickered.

"Never bet against an Antivan, Commander." Josephine crooned, sliding her pile of coins closer to herself. Ellana was clutching her sides, and she did not think she had ever laughed so hard in her life.

"I'm leaving. I don't want to witness our Commander's walk of shame." Cassandra drawled. She stood with red cheeks and pointedly looked away as she left, which only made Ellana guffaw even more.

"Well _I_ do!" Dorian snorted. She couldn't breathe, and tears of mirth spilled from her eyes.

"It comes off? I didn't know it came off!" Cole whispered frantically. Everyone started laughing again as they began to leave, until only Cullen and Ellana were still at the table.

"Err...I'll see you in your room tonight." Cullen muttered before standing and sprinting out of the room.

"He has a nice bottom." Dorian commented from where he and Bull stood by the stairs.

"I agree wholeheartedly." she approved.

"I'm glad you got to come tonight." Varric said, calling her over to the fireplace. "It's too easy to mistake you for the Inquisitor." she scrunched her face in consternation.

"But I _am_ the Inquisitor." she slurred.

"It can be easy to forget that you're not just an icon or symbol. Like those statues of Andraste holding bowls of fire. At least it is for me. You up for another game when this is all over?" he invited. She nodded a bit too quickly, realizing that the world was starting to spin.

"Of course." she agreed.

"Good. It'll take some convincing, but I've gotta give Curly a chance to win his dignity back." he decided. She chortled again, remembering Cullen's flight from the inn. She walked outside, hissing at the cold air on her face. After a moment she relaxed into it and smiled. It was nice to breathe the outside air for once. Glancing around the grounds, her eyes settled on a large tree that nearly spanned the height of the keep. She grinned as she realized that it was located right next to the wall where her balcony was situated. Stumbling over, she studied the base of the tree. It was fairly smooth, and it would be difficult to manage. She huffed and slipped off her soft leather boots. She sighed in relief as she wiggled her toes in the dirt. Her bare feet had been apart from the earth for too long. Looking up, she hesitated, nearly turning away.

 _"I promise, Mahanon, I will climb every tree in Skyhold."_ she gritted her teeth. A promise had been made.

"Might as well start with the hardest tree, wouldn't you say Mahanon?" she asked softly, placing a foot against the tree and looking for a foothold. Finding one, she reached up with her hands, grasping blindly in the dark until she found something to hold. She continued the process for almost half an hour before her muscles began screaming because of their disuse. She slid herself over to a branch to take a break, laughing when she realized she was nearly there. Her right leg dangled off the edge of the branch, swinging back and forth as she tried to regain feeling in her limbs.

She found herself thinking of Mahanon, of how he would have felt about all this. She wondered if he would approve of Cullen, and of the choices she had been making. A warmth in her heart told her he would have. Thoughts of Mahanon inevitably led to thoughts of her lost child, Aria. She closed her eyes, trying to remember what it felt like to have a child growing inside her. Tears rolled down her cheeks as she thought of that day. The fact that she had never gotten to meet her daughter was her biggest regret.

" _Elgara vallas, da'len_

 _Melava somniar_

 _Mala taren aravas_

 _Ara ma'desen melar..."_ she sang in what she thought were soft tones. She saw a light filtering through the branches above her, and looked up to see Cullen leaning over with a lantern in hand.

"Ellana, is everything all right?" he called to her. She shrugged.

"I was just thinking about my daughter." she answered. He nodded sadly.

"Ellana, is there a reason you decided to climb up to bed?" he inquired. She wrinkled her nose and looked down at the distant ground, realizing that she was very drunk, and climbing had been a terrible idea.

"I promised Mahanon I would climb all the trees in Skyhold." she admitted, moving to stand and finish the climb.

"Does it count if I help you finish?" he asked. She thought for a moment, then nodded.

"Clanmates don't turn down help from one another." she agreed. He set the lantern down and leaned as far as he could.

"You'll need to climb just a bit farther, love." he urged. She did as she was told, clambering up slowly, wobbling the entire time. When she reached him, he quickly looped his arms around her underneath her armpits. Grunting, he heaved her up and over the edge of the balcony. She shivered as he squeezed her to his chest, and she realized how worried he had been.

"I'm sorry, _vhenan_. That was a stupid thing to do." she mumbled. He kissed the top of her head and carried her over to the bed.

"It's all right. I'm just glad you're safe in your bed." he admitted, curling up around her. She snuggled into him.

"Our bed." she muttered.

"What?" he asked, surprise evident in his tone.

"It's too big to just be mine, and your quarters are terrible. It's our bed now." she contested. His low laugh was a rumble that vibrated his chest.

"Whatever you say, love." he agreed. She dozed in and out for a while, content in his arms.

"Maybe we can have one someday, when this is all settled down." her voice was garbled as she mumbled against his body.

"Have what?" he asked sleepily.

"A baby." she answered as she drifted off into sleep. She didn't see the massive grin on his face.


	41. Chapter 41

"Inquisitor!" a voice called, banging on the bedroom door. Ellana squeezed her eyes more tightly shut and groaned. Her head was pounding and her mouth felt full of sand. She knew that if she opened her eyes, the light would feel like getting stabbed in the head.

"Noooooo." she mumbled, burying her face in Cullen's side. She heard the door open and her eye creaked open.

"Inquisitor, there is a situation." Leliana said. She sounded worried. Trying to ignore the hammer that was banging around the inside of her skull, she sat up.

"What is it?" she asked in her quietest possible voice, which was apparently louder than the roar of a dragon. Cullen groaned at all the commotion. He was suffering from the same hangover.

"Never let me drink anything that Bull gives me ever again." he mumbled, shielding his eyes as he sat up. When he realized that Leliana was standing there, he looked down at his unclothed torso and blushed, grabbing the blanket and pulling it up to his chin. "Leliana! What are you doing here?" he asked. Ellana giggled and immediately regretted it. The pounding in her head increased in severity. The bard was glowering.

"As I said, there is a situation. Inquisitor, if you would come with me, please." she drawled. Ellana set her feet on the ground, slowly raising herself from the bed. The spymaster handed her staff over to her.

"Will I need armor for this?" she inquired.

"I do not know." Leliana admitted. Forgoing her armor, she left the room, every footstep ringing in her ears.

"Where are we going?" she asked, wincing at the volume.

"Morrigan chased after her son into the Eluvian. She was terrified." Leliana explained, hurrying down the stairs and to the gardens.

"Why was the Eluvian open?" she asked. Leliana shook her head, pushing open the door that led into the gardens and striding through.

"It was open when I arrived. Morrigan said only that Kieran did it, then she ran into the mirror." she admitted. "I've never seen Morrigan like that. You must go after her." Ellana nodded as they reached the room that held the Eluvian. Tightening her grip on her staff, she walked through the mirror, and was immediately shocked.

"Wait...this isn't the Crossroads...This is the Beyond." she breathed. She wondered how the Eluvian had lead her there. If it could go to the Fade, where else could it lead? She saw the witch up ahead, pulling her from her thoughts.

"Morrigan!" Ellana called, ignoring the pounding in her head.

"Go back! I must find Kieran before it's too late!" Morrigan was panicked. Ellana had never seen her so terrified. She continued to approach her, and the woman was tearing at her hair, unnoticed tears rolling down her cheeks. "Why would Kieran do this? _How_ could he do this? We stand in the Fade! To direct the Eluvian here would require immense power!" her voice began breaking, and her shoulders slumped. "If he is lost to me, now after all I have sacrificed." she wept. Ellana knew how it felt to lose a child.

"We'll find him, Morrigan." she promised. "He can't be far." she was trying to be comforting, but it apparently didn't work.

"The Fade is infinite! He could literally be anywhere! Whatever happens to him now, 'tis my doing. I set him on this path. Please, help me look, Inquisitor. Just a little longer." It was odd to see the witch beg. Ellana crouched down to the earth, looking for signs of Kieran's passing. Morrigan started to babble again and she shushed her. She couldn't focus if the woman gave in to hysterics.

"This way." she said, rising and darting off to follow his trail.

"Where are you going? What makes you think he is this way?" Morrigan cried. Ellana kept following the signs. It was different here in the Fade, but they were still there: disturbances in the dirt, broken plants that should have been whole...the world might have been a little different from her own, but tracking never changed. It did not take long to find him, standing with a glowing blue orb over his palm as a somehow familiar woman knelt before him. He snapped his hand and made the magic disappear when he saw them.

"Mother!" he cheered. Morrigan blanched.

"Mother." she growled.

"Now, isn't this a surprise?" the woman crooned in a gravelly, low voice. Her eyes were the same shade of gold as her daughter's, and her white hair was twisted up into a style resembling the horns of a high dragon.

"Clearly not the good sort of surprise." Ellana quipped. The old woman smirked.

"My lovely Morrigan has a flair for the dramatic. Thankfully, my grandson is more sensible." she drawled.

"Kieran is _not_ your grandson. Let him go." Morrigan snapped.

"As if I were holding the boy hostage." she shook her head and looked at Ellana. "She's always been ungrateful, you see." Ellana frowned. The woman was strange, but somehow she felt like she knew her.

"Ungrateful? I know how you plan to extend your life, wicked crone!" Morrigan screeched. "You will _not_ have me, and you will _not_ have my son!" She was visibly trembling with rage. She raised her hands, allowing magic to flow through her. Ellana nearly had to turn away at the power she was wielding. It was like nothing she had ever experienced.

"That's quite enough. You'll endanger the boy." her mother snapped. Her eyes began to glow blue and her hand raised, effectively sapping Morrigan of any power. She was astonished. Morrigan gasped, clearly feeling just as shocked.

"What have you done to me?" she barked.

" _I_ have done nothing! _You_ drank from the Well of your own volition!" the older woman responded incredulously. Ellana's jaw dropped as Morrigan voiced her thoughts.

"You...are Mythal." the witch breathed. It sounded as if she had been struck in the chest with a hammer. Ellana wasn't sure if she should fall to her knees or stay standing. The woman was not elven, but somehow she was Mythal.

"I...Mythal. _Aneth ara, hahren._ It is an honor to finally meet you." she greeted. The woman laughed.

"See girl? _Those_ are manners, as you require a demonstration." she quipped.

"I require nothing from you but your death!" Morrigan snarled. Mythal snorted.

"You tried that once already, and see how far it got you?" she reminded her. With a tap on the shoulder, the woman calling herself Mythal sent Kieran over to his mother. Morrigan was visibly relieved when the boy crashed into her arms. She held him incredibly close to her chest, squeezing before letting him step away.

"I'm sorry, Mother. I heard her calling to me, she said now was the time." the boy admitted. Morrigan's face crumpled.

"I do not understand." she breathed as her son returned to his grandmother's side.

"Once I was but a woman, crying out in the lonely darkness for justice. And _she_ came to me, a wisp of an ancient being, and _she_ granted me all I wanted and more. I have carried Mythal through the ages ever since, seeking the justice denied to her." the woman explained. Ellana still didn't comprehend how that was possible, but why would someone lie about such a thing?

"Then...you carry Mythal inside you?" she offered. The woman scoffed.

"She is a part of me, no more separate than your heart from your chest." she turned to her daughter. "You hear the voices of the Well, girl. What do they tell you?" Morrigan's eyes were squeezed shut. She didn't want to believe that any of this was happening.

"They...say you speak the truth." she whimpered. Her mother nodded, beaming.

"But what _was_ Mythal? A legend given name and called a god, or something more? Truth is not the end, but a beginning." she instructed. The old woman smiled at her, and fear gripped her. She was wary of this woman. She made her feel like a lone halla trapped by a pack of wolves. "So young, and vibrant. You do the people proud, and have come far. As for me, I have had many names, but you can call me Flemeth." Ellana's eyes widened.

" _Asha'bellanar!_ " she exclaimed. Flemeth bowed her horned head in acknowledgment. "If Mythal is a part of you, why haven't you helped us? We've called to you, _prayed_ to you!" she accused.

"What was could not be changed." Flemeth retorted sadly.

"What about now? You know so much!" Ellana was angry, but she also knew that she was begging. The Woman of Many Years furrowed her brow.

"You know not what you ask, child." she growled.

"Why did Mythal come to you?" her desire to know everything was overtaking her. She didn't think twice about angering this entity.

"For a reckoning that will shake the very heavens." the woman's answer was simple, yet full of malice.

"And you follow her whims? Do you even know what she truly is?" Morrigan spat.

"You seek to preserve the powers that were, but to what end? It is because I taught you, girl. Because things happened that were never meant to happen. She was betrayed as I was betrayed! As the world was betrayed! Mythal clawed and called her way through the ages to _me_ , and I _will_ see her avenged!" her shout echoed strangely throughout the Beyond. The four of them stood, eying each other like strange cats in an alley until Flemeth broke the silence. "Alas, so long as the music plays, we dance."

"You know what we face." Ellana murmured softly.

"Better than you could possibly imagine." the older witch crooned.

"Will you help us? Or will you leave us to flail helplessly in the darkness as you have for my people?" she asked angrily. If her comment stung, the woman gave no indication.

"Once I have what I came for." her gaze turned to the boy once more. Morrigan furiously stepped forward.

"I will _never_ allow it." she hissed.

"You know that he carries a piece of what once was, snatched from the jaws of darkness." her mother urged.

"He is _not_ your pawn, Mother. I will not let you use him." she argued.

"As if you have not used him. Was that not the reason you agreed to his creation? To use him?" she taunted.

"That was when I was young and foolish and thought I knew everything in this world. Now...he is my son." Morrigan's voice quivered, on the edge of tears. Flemeth looked shocked, and also as if she was re-evaluating her daughter. "Flemeth extends her life by possessing the bodies of her daughters, Inquisitor. That was the fate she intended for me. I thwarted her, and now she intends to have Kieran in my place." Ellana squared herself against _Asha'bellanar_. She would not let her harm the boy, elven goddess or no.

"The way she talked about Kieran..." she wondered, not taking her eyes from the witch.

"I am not the only one carrying the soul of a being long thought lost." she hinted.

"He is more than that, Mother!" Morrigan cried.

"As am I, yet do you hear me complain? Our destinies are not so easily avoided, dear girl." her mother scolded.

"Mother, I have to." Kieran whimpered. Morrigan frowned.

"No you don't, Kieran. We do not belong to her!" she corrected. Ellana shook her head.

"If you think Kieran is so special, why did you wait until so late in his life to come take..." the realization of why hit her before she finished. "The Well." Flemeth grinned wolfishly.

"Indeed. I did not know where he was. My child hid him from me, until now." she crooned.

"I will not let you take him, Flemeth. He is only a child." Ellana snarled, moving forward to seize the boy. Morrigan's arm flung out and knocked her to the ground.

"If she did not have this power over me." she assured her.

"You would have done something even more foolish. Do not tempt me further. My power is exponentially greater than yours here, in this place." the woman barked. Morrigan fell to her knees as Ellana scrambled to her feet.

"Kieran...I-" Morrigan had tears on her cheeks again. The boy looked at his grandmother, and for a moment they seemed to be having a silent discussion.

"As you wish. Hear my offer, child. Give me the boy, and you are free of my forever. I will never interfere with or harm you again. Or, keep him with you, and you will never be safe from me again. I will have my-" her threat was cut off my Morrigan's declaration.

"He returns with me." she interrupted.

"Decided so quickly?" Flemeth seemed surprised.

"Do whatever you want to me. Take my body, wear my skin and make my bones dance, but you will _not_ have my son. I am many things, but I will _never_ be the mother you were to me." she wept. The witch looked hurt, and without warning she turned to the boy. She took his hands in hers and smiled down at him as that same blue orb of light from before rose from his chest. It passed into her body and the light faded away.

"No more dreams?" Kieran asked sadly. Flemeth smiled at him.

"No more dreams." she promised. Kieran smiled back at her before returning to his mother's side. "A soul is not forced upon the unwilling, Morrigan. You were never in any danger from me. Listen to the voices of the Well. They will teach you...as I never did." she turned and walked into the green mist that filled the Beyond.

"Mother! Wait!" Morrigan called, but Flemeth was gone. Silently, they turned and passed back through the Eluvian. Once they were safely back in Skyhold, Morrigan knelt before her child.

"Are you all right, Kieran? You are unharmed?" she wondered.

"I feel lonely." was all he said. She smiled at him and he smiled back before wandering off into the gardens.

"She wanted the Old God soul all along. I guess I should remember that I don't know everything." she murmured.

"I think you did the right thing, if that matters to you at all." Ellana acknowledged. The witch chuckled.

"Did I? She was testing me, and I do not know if I passed." she paused. "It seemed she was right about one thing: The Well tells me I will be able to match Corypheus' dragon. All that remains is for you to find him." she revealed before leaving Ellana alone in the store room.


	42. Chapter 42

"You're saying that Morrigan's mother...is Mythal?" Josephine asked. Ellana shrugged. She didn't really know what to think. That was her understanding of the whole situation, but it happened so quickly. How did one react to discovering that their gods were, in fact, real, at least in some form, and so keen on vengeance that they would take a human host? In her youth, her faith in her gods had been strong, but that had faded after Mahanon's death. She had stubbornly clung to their existence without truly believing, but to have their reality forced in front of her was jarring.

"She controlled Morrigan without using any magic. It is the only explanation." she admitted. Cullen nodded slowly, ready to defend her position if needed. She had told him about everything that had happened days ago, but they hadn't had a council meeting for some time. Too much was mad in this world. One of the magisters who had breached the "Golden City" walked the earth, and now an elven goddess had made an appearance? Somehow, it was easier to have faith and believe what their religions taught them when it was just stories. Leliana was solemn as she stared down at the war table. They still hadn't found Corypheus. It had only been a few days, but there was no trace to be found. That worried her.

"How do you feel about that, Ellana?" Cullen asked. She frowned at the table, shaking her head.

"I don't know, to be honest. I'm still in shock." she allowed. He squeezed her shoulder gently before going to the other side of the table. The door to the chamber opened, and Morrigan strode in.

"Did you...find what you need, Morrigan?" Leliana asked. She sounded hesitant.

"I can match the darkspawn magister's dragon, yes." the witch was practically preening. "As for matching Corypheus...that is up to you, Inquisitor." Ellana wrinkled her nose.

"And I'll be sure to do that...if we ever find him." she pointed out.

"The only thing left is to find Corypheus before he comes knocking on our door." Cullen agreed. Leliana snorted.

"You know we have been searching for his base from the very beginning with no success." she argued.

"That dragon doesn't just appear out of thin air, Leliana." Cullen drawled.

"What about the Deep Roads? We could send word to Orzammar, hire envoys to-" Josephine's words were drowned out by Ellana's cry as her hand lit up the room. Sickly green light filtered in through the windows, and excruciating pain took hold of her. A thunderous roar filled the air as they watched the sky tear itself apart. The Breach had been reopened. Silently, the five of them stared up at the gaping chasm, realizing that everything they had worked for had just been torn apart once more.

"It seems Corypheus is not content to wait." Morrigan murmured.

"He's returned to the Valley of Sacred Ashes." Ellana agreed. The witch nodded.

"Either you close the Breach once again, or it will swallow this world." she spoke distantly, and Ellana realized that the Well was speaking with her directly.

"That is madness! Wouldn't it kill him as well?" Josephine whimpered. Ellana's eyes raised to Cullen. He looked ashen, and panic filled his eyes.

"Ellana, we have no forces to send with you. We must wait for them to return from the Arbor Wilds." he was begging, and she hated to tell him no.

"I'm certain that is exactly what he was hoping for." she realized. His eyes were crestfallen at her words. She knew that she might be walking into her death, and so did he. But she had to. She couldn't just let this monster take over her world. She had to stop him. It was the only way Cullen would be safe. "I will go as soon as I can." her words dispersed everyone from the War Room. She lingered, looking out the window at the Breach a moment longer before turning away. She would end this.

* * *

"Though all before me is shadow, yet shall the Maker be my guide. I shall not be left to wander the drifting roads of the Beyond. For there is no darkness in the Maker's light, and nothing that he has wrought shall be lost." Cullen's voice was a soft, steady drone, the rote recitation of the prayer laced with deeper meaning. Ellana almost felt like she was intruding. She had never seen him pray before, and her people had different ways of communicating with their gods. It fascinated her.

She had been delaying her departure for most of the day because of him. Dorian, Iron Bull, and Varric were all ready to head over to the valley for the final battle, but she couldn't bring herself to say goodbye. She knew how painful it was to lose the one you loved, and she might be putting Cullen through the same agony she had gone through so long ago. She shook her head. No. She would succeed and defeat Corypheus. Still, she watched. His head was bowed over his hands before the statue of Andraste, and his eyes were closed. His dark blonde hair was in a curly disarray. She realized that he had probably been nervously running his hands through it all morning. His shoulders were tense, and his face was tight with worry. She couldn't drag this out any longer.

"A prayer for you?" she finally broke the silence. It was time. He glanced back at her.

"For those we've lost... and those I am afraid to lose." he revealed. She walked further into the alcove, placing a hand on his shoulder. He leaned into her touch.

"You're afraid?" she whispered. He laughed softly.

"I'm terrified. Corypheus possessed a Grey Warden at the Temple of Mythal, what other powers could he have? I've imagined so many horrible things that he could do to you, I just can't keep them out of my head!" He stood and faced her, brushing a lock of her hair behind her ear. "You are being thrown into his path once again, and, Andraste preserve me, I have to stand by and let it happen." She smiled softly at him.

"Luck has gotten me this far. It'll be on my side in this, too." she decided. He chuckled.

"You are terrible at comforting people." he joked. They suddenly threw their arms around each other, holding on for dear life. "Whatever happens, you _will_ come back." he murmured into her neck.

"Is that an order?" she teased. He shuddered.

"To believe anything else would..." he trailed off, clearly not wanting to go down that line of thinking. "I can't." She squeezed even more tightly.

"I will return to you. You have my word." she promised.

"I'll hold you to it." he assured her. She buried her face in his chest, breathing in the scent of him once last time before pulling away. As she turned to go, he grabbed her hand and pulled her back, kissing her, and letting the action say what words couldn't. She smiled at him as they pulled apart before finally leaving. Her companions awaited her at the gates.

"Are you ready?" Dorian asked. Brow furrowed, she nodded.

"Let's finish this."


	43. Chapter 43

The air swirled in a fearsome torrent at the base of the ruined temple, directly beneath the breach in the sky that threatened the world. Her hair whipped about in the storm, tearing out of the leather cord that held it back. She gritted her teeth and squinted through her lashes as they trudged onward. Red Lyrium sprouted from the ground nearly everywhere she looked, and she had to work to avoid touching it. She would do everything she could to scour that filth from Thedas once this was over.

"Tell me, where is your Maker now?" Corypheus' voice boomed through the storm, cutting through the sharp wind that howled in their ears. She glanced up to see a few of the Inquisition's guards that had been located at the temple crawling up the stairs toward him. He was massive and formidable, and being near him made her feel smaller than she ever had. But she had to keep going. She had to finish him. It was the only way.

"Call him! Call down his wrath upon me! You cannot, for he doesn't exist!" hovering over his grotesque hand was the elven orb that has started it all. Her eyes narrowed. She was ashamed that an artifact of her people was the cause of all this. "I am Corypheus. _I_ shall deliver you from this lie in which you linger. Bow before your new god and be spared!" The orb began to float above him as he raised his arms. She smiled with pride as her men became defiant.

"Never!" One young soldier spat. Corypheus frowned at him.

"As you wish." he growled, releasing a burst of energy from the orb that sent the soldiers flying down the stairs. As the one who had spoken rolled to her feet, she crouched down to him and placed her palm on his chest, sending healing magic through his body.

"Get the others out of here." she murmured. He nodded.

"As you say, Inquisitor." the boy crawled over to his comrades, shaking them awake. Demons sprang from the sky beside Corypheus, flying forward and attempting to claw at her people. Ellana growled as she threw up an arcane shield, blocking their attack. Angrily she began to throw fireball after fireball at the demons, striking them down where they stood. They would _not_ have her people.

"I knew you would come." Corypheus taunted with a mocking bow when the demons lay dead on the ground.

"This ends now, Corypheus." she called back. The darkspawn magister cackled and his hands began to glow red.

"And so it shall!" he thrust his claws to the sky, and the ground shook beneath her. She stumbled as she realized that he had pulled the temple right from the earth. Her stomach roiled as they rose higher and higher in the sky.

"He's trying to recreate the Black City." Dorian hollered through the screaming winds. She realized that he was right.

"You have been most successful in foiling my plans, but let us not forget what you are. A thief, at the wrong place, at the wrong time. An interloper. A gnat. We shall prove here, once and for all, which of us is worthy of godhood." the magister threatened. For a moment all was silent as they stared at one another. And then, Ellana began to laugh. She laughed so hard that she had to clutch her sides as the guffaws spilled out of her. Her companions gave her questioning and concerned stares, but she kept laughing. "Why are you laughing? Stop this immediately!" Corypheus roared. She wiped tears of mirth from her eyes as she settled down.

"You think _that_ is what all this is about? You think I want to be a _god_? By the Dread Wolf, that is rich. I never took you for a joker." she laughed. His eyes narrowed.

"We shall see." he hissed. He raised his hand, and a massive shape crawled out of the temple. The dragon had finally revealed itself. With a firm gesture, Corypheus ordered the beast to launch itself at her. She felt the heat of its breath on her face before another dragon crashed into it from the side. Morrigan was terrifying in dragon form, with her glittering dark purple scales that were nearly black, and her massive, twisted horns. The dragons locked talons and began cartwheeling through the sky like a pair of falcons until they fell from view. "You dare!" Corypheus screamed. Ellana snorted.

"I dare." she spat, lighting exploding from her fingers and striking Corypheus in the chest. He grunted and stumbled, rushing out of the way. Her attacks did not cease, nor did those of her friends. Demons began to appear due to the proximity of the Breach, and soon her companions had to shift their focus to keep them from her.

"A dragon! How clever of you! It will avail you nothing! You will fall as a warning to those who oppose my divine will!" he roared. She noticed none of the others around her. Corypheus was the only thing in her sight, and she unloaded everything she had upon him. Fire, ice, lightning, stone, all were hurled at the magister in a fearsome show of elemental strength. "You dare to touch an avatar of divinity?" he growled as Iron Bull approached him. The darkspawn swatted him aside as if he were a fly.

"Bull!" Dorian cried, fighting off demons as he moved to his fallen lover. Ellana winced and doused the demons in liquid flame. Corypheus vanished from his place in front of her, and she ran to cover Dorian while he healed the unconscious Qunari.

"Get up, Bull. You can do this, come on." Ellana muttered through gritted teeth. In an effort to conserve magic, she began swirling her staff through the air, whacking demons with it and slicing into them with the bladed end. The demons fell before her, and soon they were alone. Corypheus had disappeared deeper into the temple. Bull clambered to his feet.

"Sorry, Boss." he muttered.

"Maybe focus on the demons for now. I'll keep Corypheus occupied." she decided. He nodded.

"Understood." he grunted. They charged through the temple, climbing ever higher to find where the wounded magister hid.

"Look at you! A _soporati_ nipping at the heels of your betters. You are nothing! All you love will be ground under the Imperium's heel." he taunted. Ellana saw a bolt fly from Varric's crossbow as he noticed the magister's location. He grunted as it struck him in the shoulder before disappearing again. She could hear the screaming of the dragons as they advanced through the ruin, and suddenly she paused to watch. Morrigan was flying directly at the Breach, rising through the air as her wings fervently pumped her forward. Time seemed to stand still as she stopped and turned midair, careening toward Corypheus' dragon. She crashed into him, talons bare, cutting and slicing through his skin, but his talons cut through her as well. She bit off a chunk of his wing and he screamed in pain. Violently they crashed into the floating ruins, knocking Ellana to the ground with the impact. A cloud of dust and dirt flew into the air, and she could hear the others choking and coughing until it settled. Only one dragon struggled to its feet, and the other was nowhere to be found.

"Morrigan!" she cried out, seeing the woman back in her human form, clutching a gaping wound in her abdomen as she crawled away. The archdemon tried to fly, but couldn't leave the ground due to Morrigan's assault. Ellana knew she had to finish it.

"Bull, I believe dragons are your area of expertise." she commented. The Qunari grinned savagely.

" _Taarsidath-an halsaam!_ "Bull roared, hefting his axe over his head and charging at the dying creature. It screamed and tried to snap him in its jaws, but the man was too fast. He swung his axe at a tendon, causing the beast to screech in pain. Ellana closed her eyes and conjured up a blizzard that sent daggers of ice flying at the creature. Dorian worked on protecting Bull from the storm, and Varric launched volley after volley of crossbow bolts from Bianca. As his bolts embedded themselves in dragon flesh, they exploded, further wounding the beast. In the creature's sorry state, it was not able to put up much of a fight. As it's massive jaws snapped at Ellana, Iron Bull flew in and buried his axe in its neck. Yanking it out caused blood to spurt everywhere, covering each of them in the hot liquid. Ellana wiped it from her eyes and watched as the red energy that surrounded Corypheus rose from the corpse and shot off toward the top of the temple. She knew where he waited for them. Sprinting up the stairs, they arrived at what she knew would be the final battleground. The magister stood in the center of what may have been some sort of great hall, behind a series of archways and columns.

"Let it end here! Let the skies boil! Let the world be rent asunder!" he raved at the top of his lungs. Her eyes narrowed. She would not let him win. Screaming her own wordless battle cry, she charged in, magic flying out of her. Dorian was right by her side. She had a feeling he would fight with her to the very end. She chuckled. A Dalish and a Vint. Who would have thought?

Everything they had was thrown at the magister, who was weakened too much to be able to summon his demon henchmen. Blow after blow was struck against him, and his attacks began to falter. She sustained injuries from his assaults, from the fragments of stone and red lyrium that shot through the air and cut through her armor. Her companions began falling from exhaustion or their own wounds. Varric was the first to vanish from her sight, then Iron Bull, and finally Dorian, until only she and Corypheus faced each other. She had to end this soon, before the dozens of small wounds added up to become a big problem. With one final burst of energy, she unleashed a lightning bolt that shot straight through the darkspawn's heart, and he fell to his knees.

"Not like this! I have walked the halls of the Golden City, crossed the ages..." he shouted, trying to control the elven orb that began spitting out corrupted energy. As he wrestled with the orb, an idea formed in her mind. She lifted her hand, channeling the power that had been granted by the very thing he held. "Dumat! Ancient Ones, I beseech you!" She could feel her palm latching onto the orb as it had with the rifts. "If you exist—if you ever truly existed—aid me now!" the orb was wrenched from Corypheus' massive hand and flew into her own. She could feel the immense power of the object. Defeated, the magister fell forward as she raised the orb to the sky and thrust it at the Breach. Aided by the orb's power, it was much easier to seal this time around. The skies calm, she dropped the orb as floating rocks began falling from the sky.

"You wanted into the Fade?" she asked softly, raising her hand in front of Corypheus' face and opening a rift through his body. She watched it tear him into tiny pieces with a feeling of satisfaction for a moment before sealing it once more. Her companions began to awaken as everything continued to fall out of the sky. "Run!" she cried, directing them all inside one of the dilapidated buildings, grabbing onto the wall and holding on for dear life as the temple lurched toward the ground. The last thing she felt was her back hitting the stone ceiling as her vision went black.

* * *

Groaning in pain, she gently lifted her head from the rubble. It was difficult to move, and her many injuries were finally catching up to her. She heard a noise and gripped her staff, wondering if she could survive another attack. She stumbled to her feet, leaning on her weapon, where she noticed a familiar figure crouched over the destroyed elven artifact.

"Solas?" she called.

"The orb." was his response. She wondered how he had even found it in all the debris. And how he had gotten there in the first place.

"I know you would have wanted the orb saved. I'm so sorry." she realized. It was an important tie to the history he fought so hard to preserve.

"It's not...your fault." his voice broke, and she was aware that he was nearly in tears. He set the broken shard on the ground and stood, turning to look at her for the first time. For once, he wore all his emotions bare on his face. He looked so full of sorrow and regret. It tugged at her heart, in the way their relationship always had. It had been a whirlwind romance, but the amount of passion and love that was there had never truly died. She would never go back to it, but that did not mean she had forgotten her feelings.

"There's more, isn't there?" she urged. He sighed.

"It was not supposed to happen this way. No matter what comes, I want you to know that what we had...it was real, _vhenan_." he was saying goodbye. She knew it and there was nothing she could do about it. Trembling, she nodded.

"It was real for me too, Solas. I have moved on, but I will never forget you." she assured him. He smiled softly.

"You have always seen far too much." he commented.

"Inquisitor? Are you alive?" Cassandra's voice called. She glanced in the direction of her voice, and when she turned back, Solas was gone. Wondering if she would ever see him again, she descended the staircase and sighed in relief when she saw Varric, Dorian, and Bull, wounded but alive, along with all her other companions. Her friends all looked relieved as well.

"Then it's over? How lovely." Vivienne drawled.

"And the sky is healed, healthy, whole. There's just _that_ left to remember." Cole pointed and she looked up, seeing shimmering lights dancing where the Breach had been. It was beautiful.

"What do we do now?" Cassandra asked. Ellana glanced back to where Solas had vanished.

"We go home." she decided. It was finally over.


	44. Chapter 44

Skyhold was bustling with cheering, joyous people. Everyone was smiling and drinking and singing songs of Corypheus' defeat. Ellana had been healed by the time the arrived, and she walked tall. She wondered why people were backing away from her, but then she glanced at Dorian, Bull, and Varric and saw that they were all soaked in dried dragon's blood, and she must be the same. They looked absolutely terrifying. She giggled as she climbed the staircase where her advisors awaited her return. Josephine was had tears of joy rolling down her cheeks, and even Leliana smiled as all three of them bowed to her. She smiled back, and Cullen pulled her into a tight embrace.

"I love you." he murmured as he held her. She had never felt so safe and warm.

" _Ar lath._ " she said back before pulling away. He slid her hand into his as they all turned to face the exuberant crowd. She stood there uncomfortably for a long time, but realized that the people needed to see their savior, even if it hadn't been only her that did the work.

"A moment, my lady." Leliana requested before dragging her off to a washroom, undressing her and practically shoving her into a waiting bath. The water was hot and soothing, but she wasn't thrilled at being undressed by Leliana.

"What is going on?" she asked, scrubbing the blood from her skin and hair until the water ran red.

"I wanted you to know that my agents have found no trace of Solas. He has simply vanished. If he does not wish to be found, there is likely nothing we can do, but I will keep looking." the bard promised. Ellana stared at the now-dirty water with a frown. There really was no point in continuing the search. He had chosen to leave, and she knew that he would not return. She was still uncertain as to what his purpose was, but she had a feeling she would find out eventually.

"I knew when I saw him that he was not coming back with us, but it is odd that he disappeared like that." she admitted.

"You said he seemed upset about the orb." the spymaster offered.

"That wasn't the only reason. I...I know him. There was something more, something that I am still missing." she denied. Leliana nodded and handed her a towel.

"It was Josephine's idea to shove you into a bath, Inquisitor. Now that Corypheus has been defeated, we can take some time to celebrate." she revealed as Ellana dressed in some clean clothes. She rolled her eyes.

"Of course we can." she drawled. Leliana laughed.

"Afterwards you will be busy. Every noble in southern Thedas is clamoring to meet you." she continued. Ellana scoffed.

" _Now_ they want to meet me? I'm not...what did they call me? 'A savage Dalish heathen?'" she asked. Leliana laughed.

"Such is the way of things, I suppose. Now that you have cemented your heroics, you are a desirable commodity." she explained. Ellana sighed, and the bard laughed again. "Enjoy the evening while you can, Inquisitor." immediately Ellana went to Cullen, who was hovering nearby.

"Is this all my imagination, or do we actually have a moment to breathe?" he murmured. She looped her arm through his and rest her head on his shoulder.

"We have at least ten seconds." she joked. He laughed.

"I think you might be right." he chuckled. His head turned and he smiled down at her. "This was all your doing. You are proof that the Inquisition made a difference, and that we will continue to make a difference." he praised. She kissed his shoulder.

"It wasn't me that gained the trust of our soldiers, Cullen. I have you to thank for that." she contested.

"I should be thanking you. You gave me a chance to prove myself. In your place, I'm not sure I would have done the same, especially after everything that I said to you. And you let me into your heart. That is worth more than anything in this world." he assured her. She grinned. "I should let you mingle, I'm sure everyone desires your attention, as much as I might want it for myself." standing on her tiptoes, she kissed him on the cheek.

"I will find you later, _emma lath_." she promised. Blackwall raised a mug of ale to her as she walked by, and she grinned. Sera was laying on the table, singing raucously about...well, she couldn't really tell, but it was probably not appropriate for the present company. Hordes of nobles approached her, asking millions of questions about things that weren't really relevant or important at all. After a while, she felt panicked. This was the most miserable thing she had ever had to do.

"How's it going, Peaches?" Varric asked, bumping a noble out of her way.

"I almost wish I was fighting Corypheus again, to be honest." she quipped. He roared with laughter.

"Ahh, Peaches. You make me giggle. You know, I've been starting to think about putting all of this into a book. I'm thinking ' _This Shit is Weird: The Inquisitor Lavellan Story.'_ What do you think?" he asked. It was her turn to guffaw.

"I would read it." she confessed.

"Good! It's a working title, but who knows? I still haven't decided if I even want to write it. Nobody's going to believe any of it. Also, I'll probably have my hands full with reconstruction and relief efforts when I...go back home." he finished. She bit the inside of her cheeks.

"You're leaving." she repeated. He sighed.

"Come on, Peaches, don't give me that sad puppy dog look! I already feel guilty about it!" he begged.

"This is just my face, Varric." she teased.

"Bullshit. But...yes. I'm leaving. It's past time I take care of things in Kirkwall, and...and I feel like I need to pay Sebastian a visit to see how he's doing after...well, you know all about that." he fidgeted. She nodded.

"If I don't receive letters from you, I'll have to have you assassinated. It's only fair. And you should write the book." she decided. He chuckled.

"That's fair. I'll be around a little while longer. We'll have to squeeze in another game of Wicked Grace so Curly can win his dignity back." he said. She grinned after him as he walked away.

"I see they forced you into a bath. Thank the Maker, you smelled awful." Dorian's voice murmured in her ear. She snorted.

"And you were pristine?" she pointed out. He shrugged.

"Peanut, I am always fabulous." he reminded her. She laughed. "You know, I was passing through the hall on my way over here, and a serving girl saw me and _squealed_. Actually squealed! Dropped her laundry and everything, it was a mess. She was completely breathless. 'You were at the battle with the evil one, weren't you?' I didn't even get a chance to answer! She hugged me! _Hugged_ me. This is your damned influence!" he looked so annoyed that she had to grin.

"You could always start electrocuting people who try to hug you without permission. It's always worked for me." she suggested. He snorted.

"Knowing my luck I'd kill them on accident, and then where would I be? I can't say I hate the notion of being the 'good' Tevinter. 'I suppose you can't _all_ be evil bastards.' The blacksmith said that, and he spat when we first met. I hope my father hears of this. He will shit his smallclothes, I swear." he joked.

"Will you be leaving me too?" she asked. He rolled his eyes.

"I've decided to stay, for now." he contradicted.

"You will? Would that have anything to do with Iron Bull?" she wondered. He scoffed in mock annoyance.

"It might. Plus, Peanut, you'd be lost without me. The Inquisition would fall apart, and it would be all my fault, because I left you an empty, emotional wreck. I couldn't live with myself." she started cackling.

"You were talking about me, weren't you?" Bull's deep voice rumbled as he came up behind her and patted her on the head.

"Apparently you're responsible for keeping this hoodlum with us." she teased. Bull wrapped his massive bicep around Dorian's shoulder and squeezed tightly.

"He could never leave me. Who would bend him over a-"

"That's quite enough of that, I'm sure." Dorian interrupted, causing Bull to laugh. "Insufferable oaf." he muttered, dragging him away. She glanced around the hall once more, seeing Vivienne chatting and laughing with Josephine and some Orlesian nobles. Cole was lurking in a corner near Varric's table, and she saw Leliana and Wilbur speaking with their heads very close to one another. Cassandra was at the back, staring at the stained glass window, and she decided to join her.

"I can't believe it's over." the warrior commented, looking more lost than relieved. "What we did seemed so...impossible: defy the Chantry, build the Inquisition from nothing, and defeat a creature that aspired to achieve godhood...and now here we are, having a party full of fancy cheeses and drunken nobles." Ellana laughed.

"You and I aren't huge fans of this sort of thing, but I think the others probably deserved a party after defeating Corypheus." she pointed out. The woman nodded.

"I agree." she replied. Together they stood in silence for a long time, listening to the bustling conversations around them. "I have news from the sequester: I believe the Chantry intends to name me Divine very soon. This would not have been possible without your support and friendship. It means a great deal to me." Ellana's eyebrows raised in surprise. She had almost forgotten that Cassandra was a contender for the holy title.

"I hope that you and I will be able to remain friends, considering I'm a barbaric heathen, and all that." she jested. Cassandra snorted.

"You just took down one of the magisters who breached the Fade, I think we can look past your religious preferences." she drawled. Ellana winked at her. "I think back to how we first met, and look at you now."

"Yes, well, I'm much taller without your sword at my throat." she teased.

"Not that much taller, really." the warrior retorted. Ellana scoffed in mock indignation, but grinned at the woman.

"Congratulations, my friend. You will make a wonderful Divine." she assured her. Cassandra was beaming as she wandered off into the crowd. Ellana decided to take this chance to slip away and get some time away from the crowds. As she reached the door that led to her quarters, a presence appeared behind her and a voice whispered in her ear.

"I know you aren't trying to sneak away without me." he said. She smiled and leaned back into Cullen's chest.

"I would never." she promised. His low chuckle rumbled in his chest.

"Good. I decided I wanted to claim more of your attention after all." he breathed. She felt a rush of warmth as she led him through the door.

"Did you have something specific in mind?" she crooned.

"Everything." she could feel his lips moving against her ear, and she shuddered. His hand was already sliding down her waist. She was shocked that he was being so forward where anyone could see, but she liked it. She shoved the door open and, once they were inside, he pinned her up against it, kissing down her neck. She moaned and fumbled at his pants. It seemed they wouldn't even make it to their bed.

* * *

"Battle's over, there will be a new Divine, and yet, I don't care about anything other than you being alive." Cullen commented, sitting on the edge of the bed in only his smallclothes. She smiled back at him. Their lovemaking had been urgent and relieved, and they had never left the stairwell. She was certain Dorian and Bull had been listening on the other side of the door, but she didn't care. She was alive, and so was Cullen, and now their battle had been won. Wandering over, she plopped herself down on his lap, snuggling into him.

"Cullen," she began.

"I don't know what happens after this." he admitted. She stood, walking out to the balcony. She felt him follow her, and she leaned against him as he embraced her from behind.

"Neither do I." she admitted. "But as long as it's with you, I don't really care." He kissed the top of her head as they both watched the sun set over the Frostback Mountains. As the wind lifted her hair, she wondered what would happen next. Off in the distance, she could hear the howling of a wolf.

* * *

 **A/N:** And that is the end of things for now! Thank you so much for sticking with me! You guys are the best!


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